Common Cause
by jane1229
Summary: Crossover with AMC, gives Zander a new paternity
1. Chapter 1

Brenda Barrett had been living in Paris for over a year. She had plenty of money, as modeling jobs came her way easily. In Paris, modeling opportunities were better than they were in Port Charles, the city in upstate New York she had lived in before she moved to Paris, in spite of the presence of Jax Cosmetics, Inc., a company for which she had been the principal model and spokesperson.

She had fallen in love with the owner and become engaged to him. But that fell apart when an earlier lover, a mobster named Sonny Corinthos, had managed to convince her that their love was unending in spite of the break-up they had previously been through, and in spite of her love for Jax.

That had been the biggest mistake of her life.

Sonny had abandoned her for the last time, she had decided. The worst was on their wedding day, when she had been at the end of the aisle, ready to be married, with no bridegroom in sight. Finally, the news came. He did not intend to come. He sent his idiotic, robot-like lieutenant Jason Morgan to the church to tell her this.

By this time, Jax had moved on, though he remained a good friend to her. But seeing him around reminded her of her awful mistake. Sonny was out of town for good, or she'd have killed him. But Jax was enough, so she had gone to Paris.

So it was disconcerting to find, in the Paris press, that he was in town promoting his cosmetics. Pictures and gossip columnists confirmed that he was now married to a former police detective. The one who had helped Jax find her originally, when she had run off with Sonny, during the trip when she had told Jax that she was sure Sonny was the one for her.

She decided to head back to Port Charles. Now, neither of them was there. She could get back to her friends and her life.

Brenda took a suite at the Port Charles Hotel as soon as she got into town. She called her friend Ned and left him a message. Then she went down to the docks to take a walk.

She walked back and forth in the cold night air. Then she saw someone up ahead. She was shocked, and realized she had come all this way without checking. What nerve. Sonny Corinthos stood right in front of her.

He saw her.

"Brenda," he said, calmly.

As if nothing had happened! She hated him more at that instant than she had when she had first taken in the fact that he wasn't showing up at their wedding.

He came close to her, and looked as if he were about to say something. She slapped him as hard as she could.

He did not look shocked.

"What's going on here?" a female voice demanded.

"Carly," he said, in a rather peremptory tone. "Get out of here."

"Oh, so you're still ordering women around," Brenda said. "Who is this one?"

"My wife."

"Oh, so you showed up at a wedding? She must be awfully submissive to allow for that."

"Don't talk about my wife," he said, "you don't know her."

"Indeed," Brenda replied. "I don't expect to ever know any woman who you would marry. Or understand her."

"Stay away, you slut," Carly said to her. "You're not getting Sonny back, ever."

"What makes you think I want him back?" Brenda asked. "I don't want him." She walked off into the night.

Ned was glad to see her. Brenda described the encounter on the docks.

"I thought he was gone for good," Brenda explained. "Never dreamed he'd be back here."

"Are you staying long?"

"I don't know," she answered. "But it doesn't matter what he does. Though I wouldn't have come if I had realized he was here. Now that I am here, though, I plan to stay a little while, whether he and his wife like it or not. I thought that woman was married to your cousin AJ and they even had a son."

"She was, and she left him for Sonny," Ned said. "They forced AJ to sign his son over for adoption, too."

"So Sonny is happy," Brenda said. "Finally, he has found the woman of his dreams, and has a son."

"I wouldn't say that," Ned smiled. "That marriage is by no means stable. She just went back to him after having left him for several months, in fact."

"No wonder she's so insecure," Brenda said. "All I had to do was be there and she thought I was going to try to get him back."

"Will you?"

"No!"

"She is always insecure," Ned said. "Every female who even talks to Sonny is a threat to her."

"Being separated must not have helped."

"It didn't," Ned said. "He slept with his lawyer. She slept with the bodyguard he assigned to her. Both using the others, I suppose."

"Sounds like a marriage made in heaven," Brenda said.

Brenda took another walk on the docks the next night. She kept an eye out for Sonny Corinthos, but decided he and his wife weren't going to get in her way. They could keep out of hers, as far as she was concerned.

This time she ran into Jason Morgan. He gave her his usual implacable stare.

Really, it ticked her off the way he too acted as if nothing had happened. She had hated him ever since he had first worked for Sonny – he was a sanctimonious criminal, if such a thing could be imagined. He was a thug and a brain-damaged idiot. She didn't feel sorry for him like everybody else did. He had only been the messenger, but it was impossible for Brenda not to hate looking at him. She could never forget the sight of him at the entrance to the church on the day of her wedding. Not the bridegroom she was waiting for, but this emotionless robot, who was only there to tell her the one thing no bride should ever have to hear.

She brushed past him without saying a word. He stared after her for a brief second. Then he went on.

She went a little further, when she thought she heard something. She ran down the stairs onto a lower part of the docks, where the noise was coming from. There at the bottom, lay a bloodied and beaten young man.

She knelt down and pulled out her cell phone and called 911.

He was a real mess. It looked as if a gang had beaten him up.

He moaned with pain again. "It's OK, help is coming," she said. She pushed his hair back a little. His face was really going to be bruised up. Then she looked again.

He looked familiar. She studied his face. She couldn't place him.

Brenda was in the hospital, waiting. Somehow, she felt a responsibility to at least find out who it was and what had happened.

Dr. Monica Quartermaine went into his room, followed by her husband, Dr. Alan Quartermaine. Brenda knew them. She decided to ask them about the young man when they came out.

A few minutes later, they did. "I swear, he's always in some sort of trouble," Monica was saying to Alan.

They both cold when they saw Brenda.

"Well, look who's here!" Alan exclaimed.

"Welcome back," Monica said, evenly.

"Thank you," Brenda said.

"Are you here for long?" Alan asked.

"I don't know," she answered. "I did want to know about that patient you were just seeing. I found him," she explained.

"He'll be all right," Monica said.

"Who is he?"

"Zander Smith, one of your everyday hoodlums," said Alan.

"Oh!" Brenda said. "I thought he looked familiar!"

"Familiar?" Monica asked. "You know him?"

"Well, yeah, it was, like, when I was addicted to drugs. You remember."

"Of course," Alan said. "That explains it. He was in the business."

"I guess he still is," Brenda said. "Some deal must have gone bad."

"Supposedly he's not," Monica answered. "This probably had to do with his working for Sonny."

"Really?" Brenda was more intrigued. "He works for Sonny?"

"Well, not now," Alan said. "That's quite apparent."

Brenda came back the next day and asked to see Zander.

He was not sitting up yet, but he could talk.

"Hey, baby," he said.

"Remember me?"

"Who could ever forget you?"

She smiled.

"How did you get into all this mess?" she asked. "You're so young. How old are you now?"

"Twenty-one."

"Are you still dealing on the PCU campus? And around the modeling agencies?"

"Nope. I am a respectable bodyguard. Or I was."

"What? How could you be the one – the Quartermaines said you were working for Sonny – you are the one who got involved with his wife?"

"Don't look so surprised."

"For crying out loud," she said. "All the models in this town think you are adorable," she said. "Why would you waste time with that harpy?"

"I like your vocabulary," he said. "I don't know. Right now, it does sound like a pretty bad idea."

"Some bodyguard," she added. "Who did this to you?"

"Naturally, I can't say, or there will be a repeat performance."

She thought back. "I know who did it," she said. "I saw him. But I'll handle it as you like."

"Thanks," he said, weakly. He winced a little. She knew he wanted to act tough, so she gave him a second to recover.

"Do you feel safe?" she asked him. "In this hospital?"

"Not particularly," he answered. "But a little safer than other places."

She sighed. "You really are too much," she said.

Brenda went to the main office and found the financial division. She explained she wanted to pay Zander Smith's bill, and make sure they gave him everything he needed.

"Mr. Corinthos already did that," the clerk told her.

Brenda almost laughed. So this was more of that mob "honor." What else explained it?

The next day, he was sitting up, and looked a little more like himself. 

"You really are the limit," she said. "Getting involved with a mobster's wife."

"They were separated," he said. "He was seeing someone else. Seems fair."

"Not to him," Brenda said. "The rules are different for men."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot. He does what he wants, she does what he wants."

"Did they beat you over that?"

"Oh, no, then it was probably my giving up his information to another gangster."

"If you are going to do things like that, at least make it the FBI," she said. "They have a witness protection program."

"Well, I wasn't thinking at the time. I got ten grand for it."

"You could have gotten more."

"Well, it's all in the bank. At least I can pay the hospital bill."

"No, Sonny already did it. Mob honor."

"Weird. Really weird. How do you know?"

"Because I went to pay the bill."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I like you, I guess."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I have plenty of money."

"Weren't you engaged to Sonny once?"

"Yes. I almost married him. Fortunately for me, he failed to show up on our wedding day."

"I can't believe he's that stupid!"

"Thanks for the compliment, but he is."

"Where have you been all this time?"

"In Paris."

"What brought you back here?"

"I wanted to see everyone, and my former fiancée was in Paris. Reminds me of the big mistake I made throwing him over for Sonny."

"Try to get him back."

"Well, it's a bad time. He just got married."

"So you came back to where Sonny is."

"It's been so long, I didn't think. When I left town, he had left town – he left town the day of our wedding. It never occurred to me he might have come back."

"He's been back awhile."

"What have you been doing?"

"Oh, nothing much. I committed a kidnapping, was arrested for murder. I got off, or, I ended up having the charges withdrawn because I could testify against the real murderer. That was in Sonny's interests. I got a job as a shipping clerk in his legal business. But all good things must come to an end. He promoted me to bodyguard to Carly and it's been down hill, really, since then."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I'll figure it out when I get out of here."

"Here, let me give you my number," she said. "Where is your cell phone?"

He pointed to the table next to his bed. She programmed her number into it.

"Call me," she said.

When Zander got out of the hospital, he headed for the Port Charles Hotel. He would stay there and think about what to do next. He had ten grand, after all. Why not stay there?

He went down to the bar for a drink.

He saw Brenda sitting there with a glass of white wine.

"Hey beautiful," he said, sitting down next to her.

"Zander! You're out! You look almost healed!"

"I'm stiff all over," he grinned. "But at least I can walk. And breathe."

"What brings you here?"

"I'm staying here, for a little while."

"Why here - because I'm staying here?"

"You are? I didn't know that. Doesn't make the place less attractive, though."

She laughed. "Get this man whatever he wants," she said to the bartender.

"I've got ten grand," he said. "I'll buy you the drinks."

"How did you get into dealing so young?" she asked.

"Easy money. I ran away from home. I wasn't used to sleeping outside. I forgot my social security number."

"How old were you when you ran away from home?"

"Almost eighteen. I didn't want my parents to find me. This was the best way, at least for awhile. My father wanted me out of the country."

"Sounds like a very loving father."

"He was. He didn't want the embarrassment of the criminal charges that were pending against me."

"So why aren't you out of the country?"

"I was in Canada. That was where I last lived, before I got into trouble with deals over here. I only came over here on business, you see."

"I see."

"Didn't you get along with your mother?"

"My mother, well, she's not all there. Well, let me just say it. She's crazy."

"I'm sorry," Brenda said.

"Oh, well, these things happen."

"You're not alone," Brenda said. "It happens that my mother is, too. Out of her mind. She's been locked up for years."

"My, I'm sorry to hear that. Have you seen her?"

"No, there's not much use. Doesn't do her any good."

"How about your father?"

"He died some years back. We were never close though. He couldn't get over how I wasn't as successful and responsible as my older sister."

"I know that feeling, too," he said. "My father could never get over how I wasn't as successful and responsible as my older brother."

"Really?" she asked. "You aren't just saying that, because I repeated that my mother was like your mother?"

"No," he said. "I lived it too long to have to make it up. Where's your sister?"

"In London. Being a big success."

"There's a difference. You're a big success, too."

"Never good enough for Daddy. Where's your brother?"

"I don't know, probably a law student at Harvard," he said.

The bartender brought him his drink. "Get this lady another one," he said to the bartender.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

Brenda took a sip of her drink. "Where were you living before this happened?"

"Over Jakes' bar."

"Hardly the place for high-rent Carly."

"She had her own place," he said.

"Strange to think of Sonny paying for a residence for her, separate from his."

"He must have. Otherwise, I don't know how she kept the place."

"Why did she go back to him when she had you?"

"Why not?"

"Well, because,"

"Because why?"

"You seem more like a good time than Sonny."

"Gee thanks, but I'm not a millionaire and I'm not, as she reminded me, her husband."

"She suddenly had a conscience about her husband?"

"It was really stupid. First, he kicked her out. Seems she tried to turn him in to the cops so that they could live a normal life. I guess she forgot about the prison part. He kicks her out. She cries on my shoulder."

"And cried and cried on your shoulder."

"In time she discovered how wonderful I was," he continued. "And soon could hardly understand why she ever wanted Sonny. It was only interesting how Sonny seemed to show up at the right times. Almost as if she figured some way to get him there. She wanted him to find out she had somebody else too. It worked. When he thought somebody else wanted her, he wanted her back."

"I know. I had Jax."

"Oh, I'm sure you really loved Jax. Jax is a millionaire too. Carly didn't really care that much for me except as a way to get her husband jealous."

"I did really love Jax, and I think it was a mistake to throw him over for Sonny, but I don't know if it was a mistake to throw him over in general. I can't help thinking if he was the one for me, I never would have considered picking Sonny."

"You let him go. Big of you."

"Well, not really. But you aren't nothing if you can even be used to get a millionaire, which you apparently see as the height of female ambition, jealous. There must be something other than the money or it wouldn't bother him."

"I was told in clear terms to keep my hands off his wife. As though they were really married at the time. I mean, they were married, but he was seeing someone else. But we've been through that. We know he's a one sided jerk. And as though his wife didn't put her hands on me of her own free will. They were both such idiots, acting like I was the one who tore her away from him against her will. I don't think so. Now they act like their marriage was made in heaven."

"I'm sure it wasn't."

"Next time it falls apart, I won't be there to pick up the pieces. Some other idiot probably will, though. I hope it's a billionaire."

"Not many of those around," Brenda grinned. "Definitely not here."

"You'll find one," Zander grinned back.

Brenda and Ned were dusting cobwebs out of the offices of L & B Records. It made them a little bit of money. Not much.

Ned told her about Juan Santiago, who was making it big, and about how he dated Emily and ran around on her, and finally settled down only to have Emily drop him for her kidnapper, "that jerk, Zander Smith."

"No way!" Brenda exclaimed, practically laughing. "Emily? Your little cousin? How could you let her get involved with somebody like Zander Smith?"

"You _know_ him?" Ned asked, unbelieving.

"I used to get my drugs from him."

"I wish you had lived here then, you could have helped warn her off. She was so stupid, Emily was. She was sure she was reforming him."

"Kidnapper? Did you say kidnapper?"

"Yes."

"_He_ did it?"

"Yes, and had some Stockholm Syndrome hold over her," Ned explained.

"Damn! That's awful. So she finally saw the light?"

"Eventually, but only after he got her paralyzed."

"What?"

"They got on a bus, to flee from Port Charles. The guy Zander testified against was after them. It's a long story. There was an accident. Emily was injured, and she can't walk. She's at a rehab in Switzerland."

"You should have told me and I could have visited her from Paris."

"I knew you had enough on your mind."

"Well don't decide that for me next time. Why is she so far away from you all?"

"To keep her away from Zander Smith."

"Well, Ned told me all about you and Emily," Brenda said, coming into his room. "You just about cover the gamut don't you? Older married women to innocent young girls."

"Come right in."

"Oh, I knew you would invite me in when you saw me at your door."

"You bet."

"I just had to come and admire the man who could attract his own kidnap victim."

"Thank you."

"So you broke her heart."

"No, really I would say she broke mine."

"Is that possible?"

"It is," he looked injured.

"Oh, it's OK," she said. "I didn't mean it like that. Ned says she is paralyzed. Is it that bad?"

Zander shrugged. "I can't afford to care. I'm told it would not matter if I did. I've paralyzed two people now, so all I can do is stay away to keep others from the danger."

"It was an accident, Zander. But what two people?"

"The other accident I caused."

"How could you cause a bus accident? Were you the bus driver?"

"No, Brenda."

"Then it was something that just happened. Where do you get the blame for this?"

"Because she was running away with me."

"But it doesn't matter why you were on the bus when it was in an accident."

"OK, I get you, but we'll never be sure. It could have been one of the people we were running from that did something to cause it."

"But who is this other person you take the blame for?"

"My brother."

Carly was panicked. She was sick, and her period was late. But it was way too soon for that.

She went to Mercy Hospital for the test. It was positive. "Six weeks," the doctor had said.

She got in her car and drove. She drove and drove. She tried to think. She'd only just gotten back with Sonny. It had been only a week since he had slept with her! Before that, there was an expanse of almost a year! This year stretched out before her, mocking her with her failure to get her husband back during its implacable reign.

An abortion was out of the question. She couldn't do it. After she had lost Sonny's baby, falling down the stairs at the Quartermaines, she couldn't think of it. She couldn't stand the thought of it. When it was so heartbreaking to lose a child, she couldn't imagine destroying one.

But what was she going to do this time?

She could keep it a secret. She supposed she could keep it a secret for as long as possible. She stopped the car and took a small calendar out of her purse. She studied it carefully. If she could manage to hide it to eight weeks, she thought, it might be possible. Then she could tell Sonny the baby was premature. It would be their miracle baby, who survived in spite of being born at only seven months.

She had wanted to be pregnant so badly, and now, she was! She could hardly believe her bad luck. After she and Sonny had tried and had so much strain in their marriage, and after all she had done to keep him, now she finally got pregnant and it had to be at the worst possible time! She berated herself for not being more careful. She supposed she had always thought she was about to seduce her husband back again. Then she got caught up and time went on, and she didn't think.

"Oh, I am so dumb!" she told herself. "Why didn't I realize I needed to be more careful when it had been so long since I had been with Sonny!"

She panicked anew when she thought of Brenda Barrett. That witch was in town, probably trying to seduce Sonny, and suddenly, now, she had a huge advantage. She wasn't pregnant with another man's baby!

Carly just had to confide in someone or she thought she would die. She drove back to her mother's house.


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

Brenda put on a bikini and sat by the pool. She pulled out her cell phone and called Zander Smith.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Looking at the help-wanted ads," he said.

"You can do that out by the pool?"

"Why would I want to do that out by the pool?"

"I'm here."

"That'll do it."

He came out with the newspaper and sat in the lounge chair next to her.

"What kind of job are you looking for?"

"Oh, I have some experience in: auto repair, shipping clerk, drug dealing, and kidnapping."

"Is anyone looking for a kidnapper?"

He grinned. "Not today."

"I have an idea," she said, suddenly thinking of it, and feeling playful. "You say you paralyzed two people. Bad things come in threes. Paralyze a third. Except this time, make it someone who really deserves it. It can be figurative. A figure of speech, you know where you don't literally paralyze them but . ."

"I know, Brenda, I'm not that uneducated."

"Where did you go to school?"

"At an expensive prep school in Florida."

"Is that where you grew up?"

"Yes. Where did you grow up?"

"California."

"So we're both from sunny states. Another thing we have in common."

"I can think of something we don't have in common, but it would be nice if we did."

"What's that?"

"You and a pair of swimming trunks. Race me in this water."

"I'll beat you!"

"That remains to be seen."

He went up to his room to change.

She sat back, and smiled. This didn't last long. She scowled when she saw Jason Morgan looking down at her.

"What are you doing here, Brenda?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"I mean, what are you doing in town?"

"None of your business. What is Sonny doing here? He was gone when I last left, you see. You remember that. How was I to know he would have the nerve to come back?"

"He knew you were no longer here."

"Oh, really? So he moves out when I'm here? Tell him I said good-bye, then."

"He'd like you to leave."

"He doesn't own this town!" Brenda exclaimed, knowing that in some ways, he did.

"You don't need to be here."

"What's it to him? He can just ignore me. Oh, I know. It's Mrs. Carly. She's afraid. Well, he can tell her he no longer cares for me. Doesn't she believe him? If they have a strong marriage, what danger am I?"

Jason Morgan sighed and walked away.

Brenda hated the way he did that.

When Zander came back, they had a race in the pool. He let her win.

"Don't let me win!" she said.

"OK." He beat her.

"I'll beat you next time."

"Whoa, enough of this competition. Here, lay on this raft for awhile."

"What happened with your brother?" she asked.

"Oh, Carly," Bobbie said.

"What am I going to do? Do you think my plan might work?"

"Carly. You know the right thing to do. You have to tell the real father and Sonny the truth."

"I'll lose Sonny, after all I worked for!"

"No, you won't, if he really loves you. He'd have to understand. You were separated."

Secretly, Carly wondered if Sonny loved her enough for that.

As if reading her mind, her mother said, "Sonny already adopted AJ's child."

"Mother! That hardly means he would do the same for another one."

"Why not? If he loves you, what does it matter, really? You'll work it all out with the real father like a million other couples have to."

"Oh, man, it'll be a reminder every time we'd see him."

"You'll forget it all eventually. Do what's best for the child."

"But wouldn't that be a stable home with two parents, and no other parent outside?"

"If possible. But here it's not. It would be better for the child if the child knew who he or she really was."

"If you knew the real father, you might not say that."

"Who is it?"

Carly hesitated.

"I won't talk, Carly. Who could it be? Not AJ?"

"No! Mother! It has to be my bodyguard's."

"Oh, so he did do a good job."

"Are you trying to be funny?"

"If it were someone else, he wouldn't have been doing his job too well, would he? He's not that bad. Compared to Sonny he's positively benign."

"You think it is better for a child to have a father like Zander than to have Sonny for a father?"

"In a way, I do. You know how impossible it proves to be for Sonny to stop living a life based on crime. Zander's young, he's still open to other possibilities. But it really doesn't matter whether it is better to be Zander's son or Sonny's son, to this child. This child is Zander's. That's a fact, I take it, from you."

Carly sighed. "Oh God, I would hate to lose Sonny over this."

"If you do, there was nothing much to lose," Bobbie answered.

"Hey, would you put this stuff on my back?" Brenda asked.

Zander rolled his eyes. "Of course, I would love to."

He put the sunscreen on her and massaged her back.

"That's great," Brenda said. "Now why sell drugs when you could have been a gigolo? All you had to do was find some rich older woman."

"That would really be using another person, wouldn't it?"

"Selling drugs to teenagers is better?"

"Yeah. They're spoiled brats. Like I was. Trying to buy a thrill. Escape. Be cool. They don't have to do it. But the woman, that is so much more personal. A big fraud."

"She'd know what she was doing, or getting. It's not really a fraud. You'd get much less social condemnation. And it isn't illegal."

"True. I wouldn't end up in jail over it."

"Sonny always hated jail. He was claustrophobic."

"Well, maybe he should consider getting a real job, then."

Brenda laughed.

"Well," he said. "All safe from the sun. I don't suppose I get a turn?"

She looked at him. "Why do you suppose you wouldn't? Here, turn around."

She ran her hands over his back. He was quiet awhile. Then he said, "It was a hunting accident. I thought I saw a deer, and a shot at it. But it was my brother."

She was stunned a moment, her hands stopped, then she willed them to go on. "Poor thing," she said. "What a horrible accident."

"He was paralyzed from the waist down," Zander said.

"What was he doing there?"

"The way I understand it, he was OK. It was me who made the mistake."

"How old were you?"

"Me? I was 17 then."

"How old was he?"

"He was 19."

"Did you leave home right after that?"

"No, not quite. I went to the hospital a lot."

"Did your brother blame you?"

"Not a whole lot. It was my father who did that."

"Didn't he teach you guys the safety rules?"

"I'm sure he did. I don't always listen well. Pete, that's my brother, and my father, they will always get something if they hear it once. If they read a book once, they remember it. I don't. People swear they told me things I don't remember. I can read a book and then if you ask me what was in it, I don't have the foggiest idea."

"Well, your father should have known that."

"He did. He was always complaining."

"How did you get into criminal charges?"

"The hunting accident."

"But it was an accident, right?"

"Yes, but it is still against the law. Involuntary manslaughter, something."

"But your brother didn't die?"

"Attempted involuntary manslaughter. Something like that."

"I don't see how they could put you in jail over it if it was an accident."

"I'm not sure of that either."

"Couldn't your father get you a lawyer?"

"He could have financially. But he didn't want anyone to know."

"What does he do?"

"He's a heart surgeon. Very wealthy. And his family had money he inherited, too."

"But didn't everyone in his social circle know anyway? How else to explain your brother's condition?"

"I guess he told them it happened, but let them think some stranger had done it."

"How does he explain your leaving the country?"

"I was old enough for college then."

"He could have just sent you to college."

"With my grades, he wasn't willing to invest in that."

"They were that bad, huh?"

"Pretty much so. I don't know why I told you all this. It is easy to tell you things. I try to forget it, mostly. As much as I can. And I never told anybody."

"Do you ever want to see your brother?"

"Yes. I can't, though."

Later, she called him again. "Come up here, for a drink," she said. "I got you to tell me that, but now I've woken up your memories, so I don't want you to be alone."

When he came up and was sitting on her couch - she made him a gin and tonic at the bar in her room - she told him how Jason Morgan had tried to lecture her out of town.

"I think you are right," he said, stirring the drink with his finger. "Carly's threatened."

"You'd think her husband could reassure her."

"You'd think. Well, if you had been around this last year or so, you would know how hard that might be for him."

"OK," she sat down next to him. She leaned against him a little, and her thigh touched his lightly.

"You're not going to bed me because you feel sorry for me," he said.

She laughed. "Could I do it for other reasons?"

"Maybe. Someday."

"I would like you to feel a little better. Would you feel better if I sat next to you like this?"

He smiled as if the smile had been coaxed out of him. "Yeah," he said, taking a sip of the drink.

"So who is the third person you want me to paralyze?" he asked her. "Figuratively."

"Sonny."

"He'd have us both for lunch!"

"He would think so."

"I think you're as bad as me," he said. "Look how much we have in common. Another thing we have in common, would be, as my father says, the inability to make, carry out, and execute a plan."

"We may not need a plan."

"Sounds like we do."

"I'm sick of him acting like he owns the world. I come to Port Charles, to see my friends, after _he_ left me at the altar, and he sends his ambassador to tell me _I_ have to get out!"

"It really is very galling."

"Well, I don't plan on changing my plan to suit him."

"Good for you."

"I'll let things take their course," she said.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

Brenda walked on the docks at night, again. She looked up ahead and saw Zander.

"Why do you walk here alone?" he asked. "I hope you know judo. Or carry a gun."

"Both," she said, flippantly. "Unlike you. I can't believe you are down here after what happened to you last time."

"I'm safe now," he said. "I have you."

"Why yes," she took his arm. "So shall we have a stroll along the docks?"

"Certainly, madam."

"How is your job search going, young man?"

"Pretty good. Would you like me to be a mechanic or a shipping clerk?"

"I get to choose. Let's see. You'd have auto oil on your hands a lot as a mechanic, right? On the other hand, I don't see you as a very good shipping clerk."

"What's it to you the condition of my hands?"

"I like them."

"Why thank you. I'm very good with them, you know."

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Then I intend to go to school at night."

"Did you graduate from high school?"

"Yes, and I've been trying to get started on college for years."

"Why haven't you been able to?"

"Sonny was going to help me, he even was going to pay the tuition, and I was trying to get in, when he reassigned me to look after Carly, which does not allow for a schedule on which one can attend one's classes."

"Why ever not?"

"She is always up to something, so you can't consider yourself free."

"There's early in the morning. I'm sure she's still in bed then."

"Not always. And if you are in bed with her, it's hard to leave from there for such a thing as school."

"So she's good in bed, eh?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Brenda laughed. "No, I don't want to know. Scratch that. Now you're free of her and can work on your education."

"Where did you go to school?"

"Expensive all-girls prep school in California."

"Were your grades good?"

"No."

"You didn't go to college?"

"No. I'm like you. I often planned to start at PCU. Then I started modeling, got involved with Sonny, and I never got started. But I'm a lousy student anyway."

"You can sign up with me. We can be lousy students together."

"I'm sure that would be fun. I'll see if you get yourself signed up first."

"You would be a distraction to all the guys in all your classes. You could single handedly lower the grade point average at PCU."

"I could try."

They came up to Jake's. Zander said, "I challenge you to a pool match."

"You're on."

He beat her easily. "OK, you need a few lessons," he said.

"Are you going to give them to me without touching me?"

"Of course not."

"Well, come on. I really need instruction in this game."

Carly came in. She went up to Jake and was about to ask her if Zander was in, when she saw him at the pool table, arms around Brenda, supposedly showing her how to hit a pool shot.

Carly herself had been in that same position too many times before for the scene not to remind her.

"Better watch out," she said to Brenda. "You can end up in his room upstairs."

"Isn't that the whole point?" Brenda asked. "No one really supposes I want to learn this game, do they?"

"She couldn't be here to see either of us," Zander said, pulling Brenda slightly closer, "let's dance."

"I am here to see you," Carly said, looking at Zander.

"Be still my heart," Zander said. "How did I get so lucky?"

"I have to talk to you," Carly said.

"She looks serious, Zander," Brenda said. "She realizes she made a wrong turn, and now she wants to replace me as the woman who's going upstairs with you tonight." As she said this she turned to him and pressed her hands to his chest, then moved them up over his shoulders in a massaging sort of motion.

"There are no replacements for you," he said, looking down at her with fiery eyes.

Carly swayed a little, and grabbed the pool table. She tottered, tried to take a step, and then fell onto the floor in a heap.

Jake ran from behind the bar and knelt down by her. She shook Carly, who started to come to. Zander and Brenda both froze and stared.

Carly came to. "Are you all right?" Jake asked, automatically. She helped her up.

"I feel sick," Carly said.

Jake escorted her to the rest room. Another woman in the bar followed them in, asking if she could help.

"What's wrong with her?" Zander asked Brenda, as if it were some sort of women's secret that she might know. "She can't be that overcome by your competition for me."

"In her mind she projected it as competition for Sonny, maybe," Brenda said. "But that's not it. She's pregnant."

"How did you come to that conclusion, Dr. Barrett?"

"She fainted and now she's throwing up."

Jake came out, having left Carly to the care of the other patron.

"She got sick," she explained to the staring Zander and Brenda.

"See?" Brenda said.

"She should be happy," Zander said. "Pregnancy was her goal in life. Sonny's baby, yadda, yadda, do you know how often I heard that phrase?"

"Too often," Brenda said. "But Sonny has no children, and I wonder if it's his problem. His infertility problem."

"She'll get the blame for it. Sort of like Henry the Eighth's wives."

"Henry the Eighth? You're not as uneducated as you come across."

"I went to an expensive prep school in Florida. My education is as good as yours. I bet my grades are no worse than yours."

"I bet you mine are a little bit better."

"Well, I'm going to get my transcripts for PCU, so I'll have my proof. Get yours, and the bet is on."

"OK! What are we betting?"

"If you win, you get several free pool lessons, including the trip upstairs."

"Ho, ho ho! That's what _you_ get if _you_ win."

"OK. If you win, you get free car repair the next ten times you need it. If I win, I get 10 massages, like the one you almost just started before Carly keeled over."

Carly and the lady came out. Carly looked pale.

"You look awful, Carly," Jake said. "Can I call someone to take you to the hospital?"

"No," Carly said, emphatically. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Zander looked a little doubtful. "I'd offer to drive you home, but Sonny could find out and he would kill me."

"I wouldn't want you to be killed, Zander," Brenda said. "I could drive you home, Carly."

"No," Carly said.

"At least sit down for a little while," Jake said. "Let me get you a glass of water."

Carly sat down gratefully at the bar, giving in to Jake's ministrations.

Zander looked at Brenda. "So how about a dance?"

"Sure," she said.

Carly studiously keep her eyes toward the back of the bar.

They danced close, chests touching. "Mmmm," Brenda said, "you are in great shape. Hard muscles. I forgot how that was. I think I like my men young."

"Are you still recommending the gigolo route for my career?" he asked, teasingly.

"Sure."

"Are you offering me a job?"

She giggled, and snuggled yet closer. "Not until the interview and application process are over."

"You could take your pick of us kept men," he replied. "You could get your own sugar daddy."

"Yeah, but then he's in charge. I like being in charge."

Carly tried to sip some water and spilled some of it onto the bar.

"I'm sorry," she said to Jake.

"That's all right," Jake said. "But can't I call someone to come and get you?"

"I will," Carly said, taking out her cell phone.

Jason Morgan ran right over to get Carly. He kept a poker face when he saw Zander and Brenda. They didn't notice him.

"Get me out of here fast," Carly said.

"I think abortion is the right thing to do here," Carly said to Bobbie the next day. "Then Sonny and I could start over. But after trying and trying, and nothing, and being apart all that time – it's too much. I can give Sonny a baby now."

"I don't know," Bobbie sighed. "I know you don't want an abortion and that's a given. Don't drive yourself crazy about that. It is really a matter of whether you're going to tell the truth to the two men. Look what happened when you lied about Michael's paternity. Surely you've learned something from that experience?"

"It doesn't have to work out that badly again."

"It will."

"OK, so they have to know eventually. But as to the timing, well, that is up to me. Surely there must be some compensation to us women for having to deal with all of this?"

"Carly," Bobbie said, not without fondness, "Forget all that. The sooner the truth is known, the better. When would you say was a good time, anyway?"

"At least, after the baby is born. Because there's no way to test the baby for DNA until then, anyway."

"But you know what the test will show."

"They don't know that."

"You'll subject Sonny to a let down. And Zander won't have time to get used to fatherhood."

"But look at the situation! It'll never work. I can hardly have Zander coming over to feel the baby's heartbeat in Sonny's living room!"

"Carly, you don't have to do that. But Zander should have the chance to get used to the idea during the pregnancy."

"Even after the baby comes, what, Zander is going to buy diapers and bring them over to Sonny's penthouse? He lives over a bar. He can't have a baby on the weekends."

"Bring the baby here to see Zander. I'll help you in any way I can, including having Zander to my house to see his child."

"His child! He doesn't even want one!"

"You can't assume how he feels about that, and he may feel differently when he knows he has one."

"What if he doesn't?" Carly thought about this for a second, and then had a brainstorm. "What if he is willing to sign over any rights to Sonny?"

"Then you could work that out! It would be all open and honest. That's what is best for the child."

"That is what is best for the child. A perfect solution. I'll talk to Zander."

"It would be. But you're going to talk to Sonny, too?" Bobbie asked.

"Yes, mother. I'll talk to him."


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5 R**

Zander checked the poolside before he went up to his room. There she was again. She had a bright red one piece suit on, her sunglasses were on the top of her head, pushing her hair back; she was reading a magazine, leaning back on the lounge chair, looking as relaxed and on top of the world as she could possibly look. Her legs, stretched out over the lounge chair, were slightly bent at the knee. She had great legs, he thought. She was short, but her legs were really knock-outs. The rest of her could knock any guy out too, of course.

He went up to his room to change into swimming gear.

He was quick enough; she was still there when he got back down to the pool.

"Hey, handsome," she looked up with a mischievous smile. "Couldn't stay away from me, could you?"

"It's your incredible mind."

"I asked for my transcripts today," she said. "I'll soon have proof."

"Proof that you were incredibly lax in prep school."

She laughed. He dived into the pool.

She watched him swimming back and forth for awhile. He was slender, muscular, but not too much. She admired it.

"Nice bod," she said, when he got out, dripping wet. "I sure do like them young."

"Oh, come on. How old are you? Seventy-two?"

"Close. Thirty-one."

"Grandma."

She smiled. "How old is Mrs. Core-in-thos?" She pronounced the name mockingly, in syllabic pieces.

"The same."

"Well, she appreciated your good points. And she's no grandma. More of a Ma, yeah, and a ma-to-be."

"She's not as sharp as you. And we don't need her transcripts to prove it."

He sat down. "So now I have a job."

"What is it?"

"Tennis pro, at the country club. I can give lessons. I convinced them I was the tennis champ in prep school."

"So you _are_ taking my advice."

"Which?"

"To be a gigolo. That's the perfect job for it. Rich, bored housewives, like Mrs. Core-in-thos, who just _have_ to take tennis lessons."

"They're mostly kids, Brenda."

"Humph. A likely story. I suppose I'll have to take up tennis, now. What the heck."

He smiled, and reached over and fingered her upper arm. "I think you'll do pretty well," he said. "I'm sure you need many lessons, though."

"I guess it'll be that instead of repairing my car."

"Yeah. And my hands are to be well preserved for you."

"Hmmm," she murmured, shuddering a little as he traced his finger down her arm in the lightest way, clearly calculated to produce a reaction.

"I'll have to figure out where to live now, after I go from these temporary digs."

"What's wrong with Jake's?"

"Jason Morgan got his room across the hall again, when he recently came back into town. I'm not too interested in having him in my face."

"I can imagine. I wouldn't want that either. Where else is there?"

"Well, I wonder if Emily's old room over Kelly's is still empty."

"Over Kelly's. I've seen those rooms. Not a great place for wild sex."

"The wild sex will be over here, in your room," he said, as she lifted her eyebrows. "Kelly's is just a place for me to stay in. Keep the account books for my gigolo business."

"I'm relieved to hear it," she said. "Though a room across from Jason Morgan might be fun. He might hear something."

"He wouldn't know what he was hearing."

She laughed, her head thrown back, giving herself up to it. He liked the way she was always thrown right into the moment. She was fearless, he thought.

"Let me take you out for dinner," he said. "I have a job now. It's on me."

"Don't be absurd," she said. "I'm the keeper; you're the kept."

"We can argue about the check at the end. What do you say we go?"

She swung her legs over the side of the chair to get up. "I'm game," she said, with a wicked grin.

"This is a great bottle of wine," she said, taking a sip. They had found an upscale Italian place. "Just like on the Riviera."

"After all that jet-setting, how do you manage not to be bored over here?" Zander asked.

"What's the use of jet-setting if there is no one to brag about it to?" she asked.

"Good point."

"Have you ever been to Italy?"

"When I was a kid. I don't think I appreciated it much, though. Maybe you'll take me when I get the gigolo job."

"I like your confidence in yourself."

"I can land that job."

"Shall I speak to your prior employer? Do you give her as a reference?"

"She won't tell you the truth. Don't listen to her. She was perfectly satisfied at the time."

"I spent the whole summer in Florence, once," she said, as they walked along the docks, later. She had let him pay the check. "My father sent me on an art program there. I had to take classes."

"So you had to study art in between driving Italian guys crazy. Poor thing."

They leaned over a balcony and looked at the water.

He looked down at her amused smile, which played over her face as the light played over the water. Suddenly inspired, he ran this thumb up her spine, very slowly, starting at her lower back and going up. She turned to him and looked at him. The smile went away and her look was stunning. When his hand got to her neck, he pulled her head towards him and kissed her.

His hand ran back down her back as he pulled her whole body in. He felt her hands on his back. They kissed hungrily, and very quickly both had their mouths open. Then he kissed her neck, and her head went back. "Ahhh," she breathed, "you really are amazing." He went back to kissing her and she responded with equal fire, her hands going to his face and then around his neck, while his were everywhere.

Only Jake's was close enough, and they ran up the stairs. He laughed struggling to open the door. He shut it again the instant they were inside, then they could hardly get each other's clothes off fast enough. They laughed at uncooperative buttons.

His skin felt warm and wonderful, as she put her hand to his lower back and pulled him in, gasping in the initial relief of it and then the greater stimulation afterwards. She realized the value of the strength and power that came with a youth with a lot of hormones, and in combination with her own experience of herself, it lifted her into ecstasies that were new to her. They both breathed harder and faster, and she shouted louder and louder, laughing if he did something that tickled her. She wrapped her legs around him and went with abandon towards wherever he was taking her.

Jason Morgan reached the top of the stairs, and unlocked his room; his ears were assaulted by some woman in the throes of passion in the room across the hall. He knew it was Zander's, but hadn't seen him there and wondered if someone else had taken it. Annoyed with the noise, he went in and shut the door.

Exhausted and gasping, Brenda lay on her side facing Zander, who lay on his facing her.

"That job is _all_ yours," she said.

"Mmmmm, the best job there is." He drew her into his arms and they kissed. Soon his right hand was checking out her left leg, which she lifted over his hip.

"Youth is wonderful," she said, as she realized he was going to be able to do it again.

"Old age isn't bad eith . ." he was stopped by a loud knocking.

"Zander, are you here?" It was Carly's voice.

Carly opened the door.

They both jumped. They had thrown everything off the bed in their heated, wild passion, and had to lean over to grab at something. Carly stared.

She recovered in a moment, staring contemptuously at Brenda. "I have something to say that can't wait," she said. She looked serious. "I'll wait in the hall," she said. She went out and shut the door.

Brenda started picking up her clothes. "Ah, well. I'll go on over to the PC hotel and order up a bottle of wine, shall I? Don't let the harpy take up too much of your time. Do you hear?"

"I hear." He was half dressed now. He grabbed her and kissed her again.

Brenda went out, straightening her dress a bit as a flourish for Carly's benefit, smirking at her before going down the stairs.

"I can see you've descended into idiocy," Carly said, testily, as she went back into the room.

"Say your piece and be done with it."

"I'm pregnant."

"I know."

"What do you mean, you know?"

"The other night, you had all the symptoms. At least, according to Brenda, anyway."

"Don't discuss your slut with me."

"Why have you come to regale me with this news?" he said, starting to work on finishing with getting dressed. "I'm happy for you. Sonny's baby, blah, blah, blah. Could pregnancy be more nauseating than you were on that subject? Congratulations."

"Not so fast. It's not Sonny's baby."

He stopped, turned pale, then went back to getting dressed. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Carly, you don't get to play games with me any more. I don't know why you want to play me as part of this happy and blessed event, but . ."

"Why would I do that, you half-wit? I could lose Sonny over this."

"You're not drawing me into the middle of your games with him!" he yelled. "What is it you want now? You want him to prove his devotion to you by killing me? No way! Life is too much fun just now."

"I can see your maturity is right up there, just ready for fatherhood," she said, sarcastically.

"I'm not being played again!" he yelled.

"I'm not playing you," she said, with deadly calm, "that slut is."

He went and opened the door, gesturing that she was to leave. "You're afraid she's going to get Sonny back," he said. "Totally afraid, as you should be, as she is a hundred times the woman you will ever . ." Suddenly he felt himself grabbed from behind, his hands no longer at his disposal, thrown onto the bed with tremendous force.

Zander curled his lip in contempt. "You brought your thug, I see," he said to Carly. "Can't get anything you want except by force, or manipulation, can you? Maybe you should consider-"

"Shut up, Zander!" Jason Morgan cuffed him again and then threw him down again.

"What are you doing, Jason?" Carly asked. "I don't need you in here."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

Jason walked out, but said, "I'm across the hall."

"Look," she said. "I don't like this any more than you do. You have a right to know. When you're more rational, we can talk about it. I have an idea you might be willing to sign over all your rights. Lets you out of the responsibilities. Call me."

"I don't know," Brenda said, considering. "I don't see her motive to lie about it."

"Isn't there some kind of test they can do?"

"Sure, after the baby is born."

"Well, she can wait 'til then. She wants it to be Sonny's. It might be."

"But how did she word it? It sounded like she was sure. Because you assume she was sleeping with both of you doesn't mean she doesn't know that she wasn't."

"Yeah. But then she's never honest. Why suddenly, is she honest? She could have gotten away with passing it off as Sonny's. She already has experience in that kind of obfuscation! She tried to pass AJ's kid off as Jason's!"

"Wow, Zander, your vocabulary! I'm getting nervous about my transcript. Well, could she have learned a lesson from that experience? It doesn't work, it all comes out in the end, I may as well face the music now?"

"Maybe. Learning a lesson doesn't come naturally to her either, though."

"Sit down. Have a glass of wine," she sat next to him as he drank it and rubbed his back.

"It will all work out fine," she said.

"He is so immature," Carly complained to Jason, sitting on his bed in his room over Jake's. "What the hell am I going to do?"

"Why does it matter to you, Carly?"

"I'm pregnant."

Jason figured out who the father was silently.

"You won't tell, Jason, will you?"

"We're not little kids, Carly."

They were silent.

"Why did you tell Zander, Carly?"

"My mother convinced me it was the right thing to do."

"You know he's not going to have the self-control to keep his mouth shut."

"He's not a blabbermouth."

"I'm not saying he will blab it all over. But he'll have to tell someone, to relieve his feelings. He won't keep it to himself."

Carly sighed. "That's so true. And I know who it will be. The worst possible person!"

"Who is that, Carly?"

"Would you tell Sonny for me, Jason?" Carly went on, not hearing his question. "At least that bitch won't be any better than me when he realizes she slept with Zander, too."

"Who?"

"Brenda Barrett."

"Sonny and I don't generally discuss things like that."

"Of course not, but you could find a way to work it in."

"Are you sure it was she?"

"I saw them. They were going at it like animals when I opened the door." 

He sighed, maintaining his usual composure.

"If I tell Sonny," Carly said, "he'll just think I'm lying to get her into the doghouse with him."

"Do you really need to worry about Brenda? Sonny loves you."

"Do you really think so, Jason?"

"Carly, you should know it!"

"I can hardly believe it would be enough for this."

Brenda insisted Zander not be alone that night. He gave in, and slept in her bed with her. She got in the shower in the morning, relaxing in the hot steam.

He was up, and looked in on her. "Hey," he said.

"Come on in," she said.

Later, Brenda leaned back against the pillows and sipped coffee. "Let me get you some coffee," she said to him, and poured him a cup.

"Thanks," he smiled, and reached over to run his finger over the edge of her hot pink-colored bra. It matched her underwear. This was as far as she had got in dressing.

"You know," she said, "I had so much fun at Jake's last night."

"Me too," he put the cup of coffee down, and leaned over and kissed her. He let his hand drop down to her breast. "You are so incredibly beautiful," he said, his lips still just touching hers. "All over."

"And this morning in the shower," she giggled. "The way you kind of pinned me against the wall – turns me on all over again just thinking about it."

He kissed her again. "I have to go to work," he said.

"Of course you do. Well, you know where I am, tennis pro. When you get off."

Bobbie went with Carly to see a lawyer across town.

Lynn Harmon looked at the two of them from across her desk.

"The old law had the presumption of legitimacy," she told them. "Basically, it means any child born during a marriage is conclusively presumed to be the husband's. But when DNA tests came along, the law got into a bind. Didn't know what to do. A father is also presumed by DNA. So you have two equal presumptions, and two presumed fathers. Now you have to get a court to declare which presumption is in the best interests of the child."

"We'd have to go to court?" Carly looked distressed.

"Not if you can settle the issue. You say you want the biological father to waive his rights. If he does, you can file a proceeding, but rather than letting it go to trial, file the settlement agreement, which he signs, waiving his rights. That leaves your husband as the father."

"Can we do this without telling my husband?"

"Carly," Bobbie said, sternly.

"No," the lawyer said. "You'd have to file the proceeding and name both fathers."

"Is there an informal agreement where the biological father waives his rights, but you don't have to file in court?" Bobbie asked, curious in spite of herself.

"You can make any agreement you want," the lawyer said. "It is an open question though, if say, your husband one day did not want to be recognized as the father. Strikes me that someone in his position could make out a good case for his having a say. He's become the father of a child, the responsibility for whom could have been assigned to someone else. Usually these cases involve both of them trying to assert their rights to the extent they can to claim the child. It looks pretty bad to try to avoid that and say, look, the other guy is the father. But it's not impossible."

"Well, Carly, it looks to me, then, that you could do that," Bobbie said. "I disagree, but it is your decision. But it would be always hanging over you that Sonny could bring up this issue, as Ms. Harmon says."

"The longer he thinks the child is his and loves that child," Carly said, "the less likely that is."

"And the longer you have to live with that lie."

"Think about it," Lynn Harmon suggested. "Then let me know, and we can draw up papers."


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6 R**

Zander lay face down on the raft, and Brenda stood at the end of it, her arms around his neck, head leaning against his. He had called her to meet him at the swimming pool as he was leaving work.

"She said something about me signing away my rights," he said. "It might be the best thing. She's married to a stable, older guy. That has to be better for any kid."

"On the surface," Brenda said. "But don't jump to sign off. You'll know that kid is your flesh and blood. And Sonny is an organized crime boss. If he were a gardener or a mechanic or even a tennis pro, I'd agree with what you just said. But his stability is all illusory."

"Your vocabulary, Brenda!" Zander grinned. "That expensive prep school wasn't totally useless. But then the mob is a given, here. Mama is a – a mob – mob wife, a . ."

"Mob groupie," Brenda laughed.

"So wouldn't it be better to be the son of the crime boss at least, then the stepson of the crime boss? If the mob must be in your life, you may as well be placed as high in it as you can be."

"OK," Brenda said. "It is something to keep in mind."

She leaned up and kissed him, long and slow.

"Of course, Sonny may dump her at any time," Brenda said.

"If you set your sights on him, she's dead meat."

"I won't be bothering with that," she said. "But anybody else could. And she will do something stupid someday."

"She already has."

"I'm not sure. I'd rather have your kid than his!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I know you were planning to have his at one time."

"And lucky for me, I won't be!"

"You complained he dumped you at the altar."

"Doesn't mean I'm not grateful now! I was ticked off then, of course! But he did me the biggest favor of my life!"

"Now our kids," he grinned, "shouldn't be, because the risk of insanity is too great. Isn't that inherited?"

"They'd be crazy, all right. But they'd be awfully sexy."

"Yeah. Oh. That gives me another thought. Carly ought to know about my mother."

"Want me to tell her for you?"

"Thanks, but you've had enough of this dumped on you already."

"It's OK."

They kissed in the elevator on the way up to her room, in a delight of anticipation.

He lay on his back on her bed. She sat over him, head thrown back. He was blown away by her beauty – the shape of her breasts was so perfect, her shape in general, and her face, a model's face, of course. The way her curls dropped over her neck and her face. She was the biggest turn-on he had ever known. He thrust slightly harder, to see if she liked it. Her response was to show, at least, that she liked it very much.

He thought she must be playing him; couldn't possibly want him, but was at a loss to do anything other than enjoy the ride. He had no way of figuring out what she was playing him for.

These thoughts went into oblivion as she leaned over him now, panting faster with louder shouts. He was caught up in a crazy excitement. He felt her thighs and then squeezed her buttocks, which got her to sit back up and scream as he finally sent her over the edge.

She was so amazed he was still hard, and with an air of almost kindness, kept going until she sent him over the edge too. A woman's advantage, she thought.

She ordered room service up a little later. "Watching you eat is sensy, sexual, sensous," he said.

"Sensuous," she said. "Your vocabulary can always use more work."

"You are so sexy," he said. "What do you want with someone like me, when you can have anyone?"

"Maybe you could have anyone."

"I know I can't."

"Neither can I. I'll take it as a compliment that you think I can somehow do better than what I just got back there in the bedroom."

"There's all this stuff you could be trying for. Sonny, you deny it too much. I don't know how doing me helps that, but maybe it's to distract Carly, make her jealous, and . ."

"How much denial is too much?"

"Maybe that wasn't fair, I don't know."

"Don't worry about him. I would not let him hurt you. Even if I had been carrying out the plan you say, I would have changed my mind by now. I'm not capable of carrying out a plan, any more than you."

"That's true!" He laughed.

"Now, what I want you for is pure, unadulterated fun, which you give like no one else can."

"You too."

"You could be using me to get mama Carly jealous, for all I know."

"No."

"Did you know she was on her way over the other night?"

"No!"

"OK. I'll buy it for now. I admit, that was kind of fun. The look on her face!"

"Oh, she wasn't jealous about that! In the end, she must have liked it. Probably ran to Sonny to tell him, because it makes _you_ look bad!"

"Oh, I don't know. She misses it. She's got to be missing it. I know for a fact what she has might be more stable, as you say. But it is not more fun!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he replied.

Zander went to Kelly's before work, and drinking a cup of coffee, asked Bobbie Spencer, who poured it, if one of the rooms was open.

"There's the one Emily had," Bobbie said. "Open again. But I've got some space in my brownstone that's better. There you've got more of your own space, and even a kitchen, though you have to share it with Detective Taggart."

"Oh, boy."

"Well," she smiled. "You haven't been in much trouble lately, have you?"

"No. Maybe being that near him could keep me out of it yet better. A constant reminder, sort of. At least it would make it more convenient for him to arrest me."

"It might make some things more convenient for you, too," she said.

He looked at her a minute, realizing.

"Carly told you her big secret?"

"She did."

"Aren't you on the side of – well, passing the job on to Sonny?"

"Actually not. It's not my take on things. Children should know who they are. She ought to remember more how she felt about not knowing her biological parents. It is going to be hard enough with Michael when he gets older. I don't know why she even considers compounding the problem."

"I do. She thinks Sonny will kill her."

"Well, she is awfully insecure."

"I have to tell her some stuff about my family."

"That's good. Do that."

"I have to work all day. Do you know if she's going to be here or anyplace tonight?"

"Come over to the brownstone."

"OK."

"You can have a look at the place, too."

Brenda went to Kelly's later in the day to meet Ned. They talked about the record company for awhile. Laura Spencer stopped in, saw her and seemed happy she was in town. Laura explained she was now part owner of a cosmetic company and would love to talk to Brenda about modeling.

Pleased with business for that day, Brenda went to get an iced tea to go. She took it from the young girl now working behind the counter, then turned to see Carly standing there.

Brenda went on outside, thinking for a moment she might be able to resist, but lingered a minute in case Carly couldn't.

"Your chances with Sonny are dead," Carly said as she came out. "I'm going to make sure he finds out you were screwing that stupid kid."

"That's no way to talk about the father of your child," Brenda said, sipping iced tea. "And it's no worse than what you did. You're the one he knocked up."

"You better keep it to yourself if you know what's good for you," Carly was overcome with anger.

"Is that a threat? Woooh, I'm so scared. But hold onto your britches. You can have the old man. I'll take the young stud."

Carly took a step closer to Brenda and slapped her across the face.

"Oh, wow that hurt. It's worth it, though. I'm having too much fun, er, let's say, getting too much satisfaction, oooh, you know, um, well, you saw the other night! I'll just take that slap as evidence of frustration. You haven't had any orgasms since, well, since the time you conceived, I'm sure."

Carly had had it with that, and pushed Brenda, punching with all her might. The plastic cup of iced tea fell and spilled all over Brenda and the ground. Brenda was shocked at how primitive Carly was – she had been thinking this cat-fight would consist on verbal barbs; now she realized Carly was a nut case through and through. She pushed back, and tried to defend herself.

Eventually, she realized Jason Morgan had come along and forcibly taken Carly off of her. Carly still struggled for awhile in Jason's grasp. "Run that bitch out of town, Jason!" she yelled.

Brenda got up and started straightening out her clothes and her hair, in automatic gestures.

"There really isn't anything for you here," Jason said to Brenda. "You really should get out of town."

"Yeah, there's something for me here," Brenda grinned wickedly at Carly, from who she was now safe. "Carly understands."


	7. Chapter 7

**Part 7 R**

There was a knock at the door at Carly's mother's. Carly went to answer it. It was Zander.

"Hi," he said. "Your mother said I could find you here."

"Come in," she said, turning her back to him and walking back in ahead of him.

"I wanted to tell you something about my family."

"Well, go ahead."

"It's my mother. Ever since I can remember, she's never done much of anything. Shrinks, stays at spas and such for her health, and I know it was probably psychiatric institutions. I heard something once about depressive mania, manic-depressive, something, but she's always taken pills."

Carly sat down. "Thanks," she said.

"I thought you should know there is insanity in my family."

"I already knew that."

"Really funny. But this might be serious."

"She knows you, though?"

"Yes. It's not that bad. But then she never gave me a single piece of advice. She never punished me for doing something wrong."

"Your father did all that?"

"Yes."

"She never talked to your teachers?"

"Never. That's the kind of thing I mean. Her family is wealthy, so I guess it doesn't matter financially, but I would be pretty sure she could not hold down a job."

"She never was trained to do one?"

"You know, I don't know, if, when she was younger she did, but she lived at her family's mansion and rode horses and played tennis and probably would have done that anyway. She would have been a society woman type, like you see at the country club here. But she didn't do the stuff they do. I'm not sure what they do exactly, other than play tennis and ride horses and jet around, but then, she doesn't do that either."

"Is there anything else?" Carly asked.

"No, we are all physically healthy as horses," he answered. "And she's the only one I know of whose mental health is questionable in a major way."

Bobbie came in. "Are you two getting to talk? I'll go upstairs," she said.

"You can stay," Carly said.

"I don't know what to think about Sonny taking over," Zander said. "Sometimes I think it is better for a kid, sometimes not. I know you hate me for saying it, but I don't think your marriage to him is all that promising. So I'd hate that - the kid would be no better off. Parents that were separate. If that's going to be, then his father may as well be his real one."

"I don't think you idea of what marriages are promising is a good standard."

"Maybe. I still don't see it. You're the one that thinks you'll lose him over this."

"That's just it. If I don't, then we can probably weather anything."

"If I can put my two cents in," Bobbie said.

"You will anyway," Carly said.

"Well, the only way you should even consider Sonny taking over legally is if Sonny knows all about it. Up front, Carly. Knows the child is Zander's and that he's adopting Zander's child. And that he commits to raising the child as his no matter what happens between him and you."

"I agree with you, Ms. Spencer," Zander said. "I can't imagine what could be worse for some kid than to suddenly find out his father isn't his father. I mean, my father and I never got along, but even then, if I found out it was somebody else, it would blow me away. It really would have when I was younger."

"You know from your own experience that child will want to know someday who his father is, Carly," Bobbie said.

Carly was silent, as this was too true for her to argue with.

"Tell me what you decide you want me to do," Zander said.

He went to leave. "Let me show you the brownstone," Bobbie got up. "It won't take long."

"That wasn't so bad," Bobbie said, as she came back into the living room a few minutes later.

"No," Carly said. She still looked downcast.

"He talked in terms of the child. Nothing about I want this, I want that."

"He's OK that way," she said. "I'm not totally surprised. When I first told him, he wouldn't believe me, and had a fit. He always calms down later. Some ways, that is easier."

"Easier?"

"Than Sonny. The cold anger, that just gets worse."

"I don't know why you want to spend your life with somebody you're afraid of."

"I'm not afraid all the time. I wouldn't be at all if it weren't for this."

"This is just as much his fault as yours! You were separated! Things happen in life. There will be something else further down the line."

"I hope he can see it like that."

"You are trying to avoid facing the music, Carly. If he won't, then he's not for your and you're afraid you'll find that out and you're trying to avoid finding it out. But if he is, then you could find that out too. You don't take the risk, though."

"Enough psych counseling, mother!"

Bobbie smiled. "OK. I'll stop for now. How are you feeling?"

"All right, physically."

"Too much stress isn't good for you. Let me get you a Vitamin milkshake."

Zander and Brenda faced each other, crowded onto the same lounge chair by the pool. He had his arms around her waist, and she had hers around his neck.

"I win," he said. "I had a higher grade point average."

"Genius," she answered. "Your 2.4 is so much better than my 2.2. But you didn't account for something."

"Oh, no," he said mockingly. "Why do I think I'm going to lose this bet even though I had the mathematically higher average? Do you have a way to make 2.2 higher than 2.4?"

"Of course. Did you look at the classes?"

"I get it. I'm so smart. Your classes were harder. Well, how do you intend to prove that, Ms. Barrett? How do you know that Chase Prep in Florida isn't a bastion of intellectual scholarly achievement compared to Santa Maria Prep in California?"

"It's not that," she answered. "But you had grades for phys ed. And of course those were the only classes where you grades were actually good."

"It wasn't that many credits."

"It might have been enough to get you the two tenths of a point!"

"I don't suppose you are going to spend a second to sit down and do math to prove it," he said.

She giggled.

"All right, all right," he said. "We both win. Or we both lose. Not only do I get the massage, you get the tennis lessons."

She giggled, and reached up to kiss him. He entwined her legs a little bit. They kissed some more, playing around with each other's tongues, as if they were high school students. Brenda's transcript had taken her on a trip down memory lane.

Sonny was taking Carly for dinner at the Port Charles Grill, the restaurant in the hotel. Carly had gone in too quickly to see them, but he had.

Sonny knew Zander, having employed him for awhile, and having dealt with his legal problems before that. Earlier that day Jason had hinted that Brenda might be fooling around with Zander. Sonny had been almost amused, because Jason never talked about things like that. Zander really got on Jason's nerves, too. Zander was the only person in the world who was able to do that.

He had thought Jason must have been wrong. He knew Brenda and didn't believe it.

But there was some real evidence, right before his very eyes.

After dinner, during which Carly was quiet and tense, and he didn't know why he never tried to find out why, he sent Carly home saying he had business with someone at the hotel.

He found Brenda's room. He knocked, no one came. He continued to knock, patiently.

"Go the hell away, whoever you are!" Brenda yelled.

When they had decided to take it upstairs, they had ended up side by side the same way, taken off each other's bathing suits slowly and then entwined their legs again and started kissing again. His right hand held the back of her neck firmly while he left went from her right shoulder to her right breast down across her right hip to her right buttock down her right thigh, which he pulled forward, sliding into her easily and quickly eliciting a loud moan from her, as they both pushed forwards.

She steadied herself with her hand on his left hip and he let her control it for awhile. He let his hand travel up to her lower back. Her breathe came in short and quick gasps which turned him on so much that he thrust back at her wildly. She screeched in a shuddering of pleasure.

Then the knocking started, and was annoying as hell. Zander felt like killing whoever was doing it, and felt like somehow the world depended on his getting her to come before whoever was doing it broke down the door and barged in. Fortunately for whoever was knocking he succeeded, and he came right after her.

He practically fell on top of her, when she directed her remark to the knocker.

It kept up, slow and steady, getting louder again.

Both Zander and Brenda started to laugh. And laugh and laugh as the knocking continued.

"OK, I'm going to put a stop to this," Brenda said, getting up and throwing on her red silk robe. "Don't go anywhere."

"This place had better be on fire," Zander said.

"It is," she smiled, wickedly.

She closed the bedroom door just in case it was somebody really annoying.

It was.

She stood in the doorway. "What are you doing here?" she asked. "Do you not recognize when someone does not want to answer the door? I'm busy."

"I realize that may be so," Sonny said mildly. "But this is my only chance to warn you."

"Of what?" She laughed. "Is this place about to fall down, because it better be. I'll tell you - "

"Zander Smith," Sonny said. "He never thinks, he acts before he thinks, and you can end up getting killed."

She laughed and shut the door in his face.

"I know you are still angry at me for leaving you like that," he said, from behind the door.

She opened it, rolling her eyes, to avoid the knocking starting again.

"I did that to make your life better and if you waste it by taking up with someone worse - that makes it all useless."

"So you did that for my own good! But not to let me live my own life, after all. You did it because that wasn't your plan for me. You are still in control, in your mind."

"It isn't that, it's that you don't always think, either," he said. "You can't come up with a worse combination than you and Zander. And Zander is really stupid on top of that."

"You can come up with a list of his bad qualities. If you know him well enough to do that, you could come up with a list of his good qualities."

He was silent.

"But you can't. You can't do that for people. I'm appalled by the implication of how your kind decision not to marry me reflects on your wife. And you assigned Zander to look after her, so your remarks about him don't fit your actions, either."

"I didn't know how bad it was," he said. "I though he was getting a hold of himself, but he wasn't. He was getting dumber. He was so stupid he tried to get Carly into bed."

"Tried. Hmmm. Well, I take your advice under consideration. See? I can think. I may even get myself into college."

"That's a good idea."

"Oh really, was that part of your plan?"

"I never dreamed you would not make it up with Jax."

"Oh, I get it. Your plan was that I would live safely and happily ever after with Jax. You should have stayed out of it the first time, then. Seems you don't always think, either. Seems you don't control the world, either. That really panics you, doesn't it?"

"Be careful, Brenda. Find a nice guy. Go and ask the Quartermaines if you don't believe me about Zander."

She slammed the door again.

She waited a few seconds, and looked out through the peephole to see if he was gone. No one was there. She opened the door to make sure the hall was clear of him.

She went back to the bedroom then.

Zander was sitting on the bed, covered up to the waist with the bed sheet, reading her Santa Maria transcript. "Give it up," she said, with a smile of amusement. "It is easier to teach me to play tennis. I'm starved. I feel like having Chinese. What do you say?"

"Sure."

"That was Sonny," she said, when they were sitting across from each other at Wang Duck's. "He says you are dangerous."

Zander laughed, slowly. She watched him, enjoying it. The smile broadened out over his face. "Did you warn you against himself while he was at it?"

"No. Here's what I don't get. He left me at the altar to keep me safe from himself. So why didn't he do that for Carly?"

"Yeah, how does he explain that to her? It's OK for you to be involved with a dangerous man like me, Carly. You even have a child, and it's OK to break him from his father and have me adopt him. But for Brenda it wasn't good enough. It's like telling your wife that she's not good enough to be left at the altar for her own good."

"I'm beginning to think it is he that is insane."

"And Jason. Man! That guy is a nut. Doesn't he feel anything?"

"I don't think so. He had to have repressed everything to do what he does."

"This poor kid. Damn. I wonder if I should even try to get custody. Am I really that bad? I almost don't think so. How can it be good for anybody to live with them? And be raised by them. Even being raised by my father might be better."

"I definitely got the vibe Sonny doesn't know yet. He doesn't even suspect. He said you had tried to seduce Carly. Tried. This is when I pointed out that he hired you for her bodyguard, and why did he hire a stupid and out of control person to be her bodyguard? He actually admitted to a mistake, come to think of it, which is a miracle all its own, but he actually admitted he was wrong, because you tried to seduce her. Tried."

"Carly's mother Bobbie thinks Carly should come clean with him."

"Do you agree?"

"I think so. There's no good in telling Sonny the kid is his, or fooling him about it. Is there? Wouldn't it come out? Why would it? Maybe it won't."

"She'd always have to worry about it. It would come out. Just her luck the kid would need a transplant and Sonny won't match."

"I think you are actually starting to feel bad for Carly!"

Brenda smiled. "She's nuts! I haven't had the chance to tell you how she attacked me at Kelly's!"

"How?"

"She hit me, then she pushed me. Jason appeared mysteriously, the way he does, and got her off me. I was taunting her. So I shouldn't have done that."

"With what?"

"With you, what else?"

"You got a good grade in health, which by the way, isn't much of a subject, sort of like phys ed, but anyway. You must have learned about hormones and pregnant women."

"Yeah, she was over emotional, I guess. Didn't expect her to attack me, though. I thought she would insult me. I wasn't thinking. I guess it's not cool to tease a pregnant woman. But her reaction was out of proportion. You know, I think you can empathize with your kid."

"Empathize! I don't care what they say about Santa Maria prep, they sure do provide a good education! How?"

"I could too. For having a crazy mother."

"You know you are really brilliant. Now I am just sad that Santa Maria failed to have a grading system that recognized it. Though this is active craziness, whereas my mother was sort of passive craziness, but the general overall condition of unavailability is still the same"

"Whereas? Chase wasn't appreciative, either. The kid should know where he gets his brains from. He'll be bewildered if he thinks he is the son of Sonny and Carly."

"Bobbie Spencer is sane. Down to earth. One crazy grandmother, one sane grandmother. One mean grandfather who will never be satisfied and an unknown grandfather. Not real good. Crazy mother. Out of control, stupid, father."

"Could be worse."

Zander laughed. "Let's see how bad it will get," he said, opening up his fortune cookie. "You flair for the creative taken an important place in your life."

"That's what it says?"

"Exactly like that. Chinese guy didn't pay enough attention in English class. What does yours say?"

She opened the cookie and took out the slip. "This is a night for love and affection." She pounded the table. "Damn! I already knew that! It's my past, not my future!"

"It could be your future," he grinned. "How late is it?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Part 8 PG-13**

Carly knew she had to face the music sometime, but putting it off allowed her to think some miracle might happen.

But things never righted themselves that way.

She couldn't hide it anymore. She got sick, she felt weak, she fainted. Each incident piled up. Finally Sonny asked her if she should see a doctor.

"No," she said weakly. "I'm all right. I have --- I have – "

"Have?"

"Bad news?"

"Don't look like a scared puppy, Carly! What's on your mind?"

"There's a really stupid thing I did."

"What now?"

"It can be all right. Really, it can. There is something we can work out."

"What is it?"

"I'm - I'm - pregnant."

"Wh-wh-why is that bad news?"

"I'm eight weeks along."

He stood, stunned.

"Who?"

"Does it matter? It doesn't really. Look Sonny, we tried so hard so long. And I get pregnant at once. The problem with infertility must be yours. You adopted Michael. This will work out. Better than going through all that infertility treatment, and the uncertainty, and - " 

"Get out!"

"But, but - "

"Get OUT!"

She ran for the door.

She practically ran to Jason's. When she got there, she pounded on the door with both arms. "Let me in, Jason!" she yelled.

Jason opened the door. "Come in, Carly."

He shut the door. He told her to sit down.

"I told him! It was the worst nightmare possible! He yelled at me to get out!"

"That's only temporary, Carly."

"You should have seen the look on his face!"

"That's only temporary, Carly"

"At least I told him before that slut did."

"That is good."

"Damn Zander for getting me pregnant!"

"He had help, Carly."

"If only - "

"I know, Carly."

"It would be bad enough as it is. But no. That Brenda bitch has to show up."

"Yes."

"She can't just be in town flaunting her wares. She has to fling them at Zander."

"That's very bad."

"It's like she can get herself involved about decisions concerning my child."

"You knew Zander was volatile when you got involved with him."

"She's equally as bad!"

"She is."

"Isn't there some way to make them leave? Maybe he committed a crime or something."

Jason was silent.

"Thanks for listening," she said. "If you need me, I'll be at my mother's."

"Well, that's good, Carly, you did it! Got it over with. The worst is over."

"No, the worst is when Sonny tells me he wants nothing to do with me."

"Don't assume that."

Carly worried all night and hardly slept. In the morning, she had Letitia bring Michael over. That might teach Sonny. Let him be alone.

But then if he was alone, he was open to the maneuverings of that hussy.

She paced the floor, unsure what to do.

Eventually, she went to the Port Charles Hotel to ask if Miss Barrett was in. The guy behind the desk said she wasn't.

Carly panicked, about sure that slut was now up in _her_ penthouse having sex with _her_ husband.

Carly was about to leave, when she saw that hussy was not, at least, at that very moment in her penthouse having sex with her husband, but walking into the Port Charles Hotel wearing a tennis outfit.

"Here to see me?" Brenda asked, pretending to be pleasant.

"Here to make sure you're not stalking Sonny," was all Carly could think of to say.

"He came to see me last night," Brenda said.

Carly's stomach dropped to her feet. She felt entirely fearful.

"When?" she asked, mockingly, as if she expected the answer would reveal Brenda was lying.

"Oh, about seven p.m."

That was well before she had dropped her news onto Sonny.

Carly felt a rising panic.

"He stayed as long as I let him," the bitch added.

Carly walked out, completely beside herself.

She found Sonny at his warehouse. He did his usual protests about her showing up at his place of work.

"Shut up," she said. "Brenda Barrett just told me you went to see her."

"I was only telling her she should avoid Zander."

"Hell you were. You were making eyes at her. Probably in bed with her when I felt so bad for you having to attend to business that late at night."

"Carly, you are trying to make me as guilty as you are, but I was not doing any such thing. Jason told me she was fooling with Zander and I only went to tell her she is fooling with fire, that's all. You of all people should know that. It is you he tried to seduce."

"Tried - " Carly stopped, realizing he had not guessed that Zander was the one. He thought it was some mysterious other.

But how could she take advantage of that when Zander already knew? And that bitch knew?

She thought of asking him if he didn't want to know who the father was, but decided that subject was the wrong way to approach it. Let the father be anonymous for as long as possible.

"Have you thought about this child?" she asked. "It could be our child, and there is no reason why not. It is way easier than infertility treatments or adopting. How would any adoption agency, once they realize what you do, allow you to adopt a child?"

He looked at her. "All right. It is worth considering. Now go home."

She went home, half elated. Maybe it was going to work out.

Of course every time she looked at the child, she might see -

No, she decided not to think about that. She could be lucky and the child could look just like her. Michael took after her mother. This child might take after Carly and Bobbie.

Even if the child looked like Zander, she as his mother would still love him. But Sonny might be a different story.

But if Sonny continued to lack curiosity about the child's actual father - he probably thought it was some guy she had met in a bar and suddenly and impulsively, because he, Sonny, had broken her heart, she had jumped into bed with this guy. Only once. That was why she was so fertile she got pregnant right away with some other guy, proving for once and for all Sonny was the one who had the infertility problem.

No reason for Sonny to know she had slept with Zander too many times to count.

And why would Zander tell? She had to find a way to convince him that parenthood was too much for him. She mulled this problem over for awhile, and soon had an idea.

"I don't know why you continue hoping to carry out the hopeless quest of fooling Sonny," Bobbie said to Carly. "Zander knows. All he has to do is get upset at Sonny, or you, to tell Sonny."

"Sonny might not believe him. He doesn't think Zander's all there."

"Well, his lack of respect for Zander makes Zander no threat to him. So why would he mind? Why is the anonymous father better?"

"Because he would have been gone, and not care."

"True. Zander does."

"Oh, mother, I don't think he cares about this child!"

"I do."

Carly sighed. She sat down.

"The main fact is out," Bobbie said. "And Sonny hasn't left you."

"That is still an open question. But he did say adopting this child was worth thinking about."

"That's a lot. Much better than you expected."

"Yes." She took her mother's hand. "Thank you," she said.

"Whoever is going to take the role of father," Bobbie said. "That child is my grandchild. I'm going to make you take better care of yourself. Let go of some of this stress."

Carly took a big breath and relaxed. "You're the best, mother."

"I'm going to get you a cup of tea."

"Thank you," she said. Her hand went to her stomach, which was churning a bit. She smiled. The first time in this pregnancy. She remembered how you always want to put your hand over your stomach. As if you are feeling the progress of the child's growth, or protecting him or her.  
This was another person, physically part of her and partly created right from her, and even from the kind woman making tea in the other room.

But that provoked her memory to consideration of another person's body. Hard and muscular. Strong in a youthful way. Active and quick-moving, hands that never stopped, and the feel of his hair failing across her shoulder.

She tried to clear it out. It bothered her too much. 

But she could not resent him totally. The child would have some part of all that, too. She was sure she would have no baby without him. He had given her second child to her as much as she was giving him his first.

She had thought Sonny had the power to take everything from her. But he didn't.

She was used to fighting with AJ over their child. She could never have gotten her way over AJ and his family without Sonny. Fighting with Sonny was out of the question; she'd never win.

But fighting with Zander was another matter. This was one she could take on.

Zander heard a knocking at his hotel door. He looked out. It was Carly. Damn.

He was really shocked when he saw she had Michael and another little boy with her.

"I was hoping you could help me," she said.

Without waiting for a response, she ushered Michael and his friend Anthony Barton into Zander's hotel room.

She had called Phyllis Barton and had to wait until today for it to work out. Carly had thought and thought, and hit upon Anthony Barton as the brattiest of Michael's friends.

"I have to meet someone at the airport," she said. "And I could take Michael and his friend Anthony with me, but there might be a lot of waiting. It would be way easier if I could leave them with someone else. It's Letitia's day off."

For all people thought Zander was stupid, there were ways in which he was not. He immediately saw Carly's plan.

"Fine," he said, casually. "Leave them with me."

"Thanks," Carly said, almost flustered with what appeared to be perfect workings, thus far, of her plan. "You be good boys for Zander," she said. Zander caught her winking at the two little boys. Then she walked off down the hall.

"Well," he said, turning his head from watching her go down the hall, "Let's - "

Anthony was giggling and jumping up and down on the couch. Michael had taken Zander's leather jacket and was laying it out on a chair.

He and Michael knew each other from the time he had worked for Carly.

"So what's up, Michael?" he asked. He ignored Anthony.

Michael hummed and pushed the jacket further into the chair.

Anthony kept jumping. "Ping, ping," he said, with each jump.

Carly had not left him any toys for them. Zander knew that was standard courtesy and protocol. He had not followed her around as her bodyguard and not noticed anything. She really thinks I'm stupid, he reflected.

He could go out and buy something, but he would have to take them with him. He knew from observation also, not to take kids into a toy store.

His phone rang. It was Brenda. It was a bummer that he couldn't take her on now. But on the other hand - .

"Hello, beautiful," he said, answering.

She heard a little voice yelling, "ping, ping," in the background.

"Who is that?" she asked.

"Carly's latest plan."

"I'll be right up."

Zander sighed. Then he smiled to himself.

He saw his shoes. "This is a car," he said to Michael. He pretended to drive the shoe along a road across the floor. "Vroom. Vroom." He took the other shoe. "Here's yours."

Michael took the shoe. "Voom, voom," he said, driving the shoe.

"Let's have a race."

Anthony did not think this was right. He ought to have his own car, too. He stopped jumping. As he stopped himself, he was so far to the end of the couch, that his arm swiped the lamp. It was light, and it tottered. Zander jumped up instinctively to save it from falling over. Then Anthony jumped off the couch, but he did it so awkwardly that his body flipped sideways. Zander caught him just as his head was about to hit the coffee table.

"Great save," he congratulated himself.

There was a knocking at the door, as he put Anthony down. But then he saw Michael holding up his Chase Prep high school transcript.

"Come in," he yelled, as he dove to save the transcript.

Michael was just about to ball it up.

Brenda came in, smiling wickedly in the exact way he had known she would be when she came in.

"Clever," Brenda said. "I never thought I would say this. I admire Carly immensely today."

"Don't just stand there and admire Carly," Zander said. "Help me."

"Let's see. What can I do?"

"Go out and get some toys," Zander said. "She purposely didn't leave any."

Anthony was driving the other shoe now, saying "vroom, vroom."

"Look," she said. "Kids are so creative. They don't need toys. They make them out of anything."

"That's not too bad," he said. "But that goes to _my_ credit. They also make toys of my leather jacket and my transcript, and the couch is a trampoline."

"What about the park?" she said.

"The park! Right! Obvious!"

Zander took Michael by the hand and Brenda took Anthony. Anthony objected. "No choice," Brenda told him firmly. "We are crossing the street. Boys cannot cross the street without holding a big person's hand."

"I can go inna woad myseff," Anthony said.

"No you don't!" Zander said. "The police will come and give you a ticket!"

Anthony's eye's widened with fascination.

"Poweece gimme a ticket?" he said.

"Yes," Brenda said. "A very bad ticket. That says you must stay in your room and nap all afternoon."

"Oh," Anthony said.

There was a little merry-go-round in the park. Zander pulled on it to make it go fast. The boys laughed in sheer delight.

"Not too fast," Brenda cautioned. "You don't want them getting sick on you."

"That's right," Zander said. He hit the spinning bars one by one until it slowed down some. "You're my salvation."

When the merry-go-round stopped, both boys walked around on it for awhile.

"Hold old are you, Michael?" she asked.

"Twee," he said. "Wanna see my owie?"

"Oh, yes. Where is it?"

He pointed to his forearm. There was a cut there, healing up, so tiny that it took her awhile to see it.

"How did you get that?" she asked.

"I bang it onna coffee table," he said.

"Oh," she said. "You'll be more careful now, around the big, bad coffee table, won't you?"

"Ess," he said. "Push me onna swing."

"OK," Brenda said. "Come on Anthony."

"No!" Anthony said.

"Yes, come on. We're going on the swings."

"No!" Anthony re-iterated.

"Come along, Anthony," Zander said. "Brenda is the big person. She told you it's time to go to the swing."

"NO!"

Zander grabbed him and started carrying him over to the swing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled as if he were being kidnapped. His arms flailed and his legs kicked. 

Two women were sitting on a bench, one with a baby, the other with a toy bear in her hands. They looked over. Zander felt a bit of dread. It struck him that they were going to call the police. But when he looked more closely, he saw that they were grinning.

When they got to the swing, Zander put Anthony on and started to push him. Anthony's protests suddenly vanished. "Hiyuh," he commanded.

"Tell a stowee," Michael said.

Brenda said, "Once upon a time, there was a big bad wolf."

"So original," Zander said.

"OK, improve on it, genius."

"He was an organized crime boss," Zander said.

"Which is a very wicked thing to do," Brenda continued. "He stole from all the businessmen, including Tony the Mouse, who only tried to sell cheese out of his cheese store on Main Street."

"He stole cheese, and he told Tony that he would hurt Tony if Tony called police."

"Mrs. Chicken liked to sell eggs, and the Wolf stole those too and said the same thing to her."

"Peter the Policeman saw what was going on."

"And he didn't like it."

The boys were silent, listening intently.

They pushed them a little while longer. Then Brenda asked them if they wanted to race over to a tree.

They liked that idea.

When they got there, breathing hard from running, Anthony said, "tell the stowee with Peter the Poweece."

"Well," Zander said. "He saw the wolf, and chased him."

Zander ran around the tree. The boys chased him, giggling with glee.

"He chased him and he chased him until he caught the wolf," Brenda giggled.

Zander lay flat down as though exhausted and caught. "Then Peter grabbed him and handcuffed him." He put his hands behind his back.

The boys pretended to cuff him. He stood up. "They marched him off to jail," he said.

Giggling, the boys pushed him from behind. At first, he wouldn't move, so they pushed at his back."

"Go, big bag woof!" Anthony commanded.

Zander walked off, moving suddenly from a still position.

They lost their footing and fell down, giggling.

"The big mob wolf went to jail, and the other people lived happily ever after," Brenda added.

When Carly came back, she found a note saying they were at the park. She went down, full of anticipation of victory.

She saw them, Zander, that slut, Michael and Anthony, running around a bench. Zander changed directions suddenly. Michael and Anthony kept running and then laughed hysterically when they ran into him head on.

"Mommy!" Michael yelled. "We payin na game udda big mob woof!"

"What game is that?" Carly smiled, carefully. 

"Brenna told da stowee," Michael said.

"I hope you know what kind of story to tell," she said, sternly, to Brenda. "Come on," she said to the boys.

"Bye Zanner," Michael said.

"Bye Michael."

Jason picked Carly and the boys up and took them back to the brownstone. Letitia was waiting.

"Tisha," Michael yelled, "we payed chase the big mob woof! We was the poweece!"

"We caught him," Anthony said, solemnly.

"Oh, that sounds like fun," Letitia said. "Hello, Mrs. Corinthos."

"When we need a babysit again, Mommy, can you take us again to Zanner an Brenna?"

"We'll see. Go get your lunch now," Carly said.

Letitia went off with them.

Carly stamped her foot. "Ohhhhhhhhh!" she groaned in aggravation. "Drat it, Jason!"

Jason stood, arms folder, impassively by the wall.

"To hell with Sonny!" Carly continued. "Would you believe, that when he found out that bitch was sleeping with Zander, it didn't lower his opinion of her one bit. Not at all! You know what he did?"

"What did he do, Carly?"

"He so kindly went to warn her not to do it! He went to her, without telling me, only to help her out and tell her it was not such a good idea to be involved with Zander! But if he finds out about me doing the same thing, he'll be angry!"

"Maybe that's because he loves you, Carly, and not her."

Carly thought about this. It was awfully tempting.

But it was still so annoying that most of her assurances of her husband's love came from his goon, and not from him.

"It's almost his fault!" she said, with a rising irritation. "Why didn't he hire a bodyguard who would just do the job? No, he's the one who claims to know people, yet hires me Zander, who isn't smart enough not to seduce his boss' wife!"

"Leaving aside that you had the choice to avoid the seduction, Carly, truer words were never spoken."

Carly stopped, amazed. "That's the closest you ever came to criticizing Sonny."

"He knows what I think of Zander."

"Too bad you weren't in town then, Jason," she said, "you could have talked him out of hiring Zander."

"True, but what's done is done," he said. "Can't undo spilled milk."

"That's for sure," Carly muttered.


	9. Chapter 9

"Nice job, Daddy," Brenda said, up in Zander's hotel room.

"You were pretty good," said Zander. "How did you get experience with kids?"

"I hung around my friend Lois when she had her baby."

"Does your sister have kids?"

"No, she's a career woman on every level."

"Maybe you'll have one someday."

"I only need to find a good stud. Oh! I have one."

"So funny," he said.

"I think about that," she said. "Don't worry, not yet. We women only have so much time, though. If I don't find Prince Charming by, say 33, I might go for it. It's not healthy to have your first child when you're over 35."

"So you are going to look for the smartest guy you can find?"

Brenda laughed. She sat back on the couch. "At least a 2.3 average. Come here," she purred.

He went and stood over her, placing his legs to either side of hers. Then he pushed his knees down on the couch, so his bent legs were on either side of her. He tipped her head back and put his mouth over hers, then pushed his tongue into it.

She pushed her tongue back up into his. He felt her hands on his bare back as she pulled his T-shirt out of his jeans. He put his hands on either side of her face and kissed her more, twisting his head to the opposite side. He felt her hands go back to his stomach and feel his stomach muscles. She undid his belt so slowly, he thought she might be trying to torture him.

He started to do the same thing to her, stopping to let her pull his T-shirt off. "You haven't done any of my massages," he said.

"There's time." He moaned, feeling her tongue, very warm, play across his chest.

He lifted her top off and unhooked her bra. He did the same thing with his tongue between her breasts, that she had just done to him. He traveled up her breastbone to her neck.

She pushed him back off the couch so she could unzipper his jeans and pulled them down. This positioned her so perfectly to touch the end of his penis with her mouth that she couldn't resist.

At first she just flicked her tongue around the tip of it, but then she took in the very front only and sucked hard once.

"You're going to flip me out," he said. She giggled. Her hands massaged the backs of his thighs just under the curve up of his buttocks. She passed her hands over the cheeks next. "Mmm," she said. "Nice. Very nice."

He had to grab the top of the couch to remain steady. Then she took in a good bit of him, and sucked, loosened up, played around with her tongue, sucked down again, and kept doing things he thought she couldn't really possibly be doing. He breathed hard and ragged. His knuckles were turning white, he gripped the top of the couch so hard. Her hands were firmly on his hips, and she seemed totally into what she was doing, as if she were really interested in it. Like it was some damned science project, he thought.

Finally, he crumpled in a heap over her.

His ankles were still trapped in his jeans. She pushed them off, carefully.

"Lay down," she said. "Face down, right here."

"Huh?" he asked. But he did as she said.

She went into the other room, then came back. She had some sort of oil or lotion, and she used that to massage his back.

It was very relaxing. All of his worries faded away. They were as nothing. His upper back, and his shoulders. His middle, then lower back. He leaned up and looked back.

She pushed gently, "Back down," she said.

"Take those blue jeans off," he said. He had seen her belt, undone, but still hanging.

She complied. He watched as her fantastic legs emerged.

She massaged his upper back and his shoulders and the back of his neck.

Then he felt her hair against his back, and her tongue flickering between his shoulder blades. He went from relaxed to hard and taught. He flipped over in a second, grabbed her and positioned her over him so he could find her opening. When he did, he slammed it up into her as hard as he could.

Taken almost in surprise, she yelped out. She crouched over him almost by reflex, then pushed down, up and down, screeching in short gasps all the while, inspiring him to redouble his speed. He could see her contorted face and was proud of how much insane pleasure she was getting out of it.

He gasped and pushed up harder and she pushed down harder. She was gripping his shoulders probably as hard as he had gripped the couch earlier.

Finally they both came to the climax. He was breathing really hard, and yelled as he felt himself flip out; she let out a shuddering screech.

She was sitting on the floor beside the couch. "You really are something else," she said.

"You're something else yet yourself."

"That was great."

"No argument here."

He pulled her back onto the couch next to him, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Her arms went around his neck as she kissed him back.

They lay thus entwined, enjoying the contact.

There was a knocking at the door. "We never get to be alone for long, anywhere," he said to her, grinning.

They collected their clothes. He gave her a shirt, and he found his black robe. "I can hide in the bathroom," she said. His suite didn't have but one room.

"OK, but if it's Carly, come out just like that, you hear?"

"Of course!"

He opened the door. All of his joy in life dropped away. His father stood there.

"Well, Alexander," he said in his cold way, that had not changed at all in four years. Having had four years without it, now it hit Zander like a barrel full of ice water, cubes and all.

"How did you find me?" Zander asked, in a state of shock.

"Your brother is in a rehab clinic in Switzerland. Certain statements of a young lady who is also there led me to believe you might be here." He walked into the room.

"What? Pete! How is he?"

"Doing quite well. Walking."

"Walking! But he wasn't supposed to be able to! But that's great! He's not going to be stuck in a wheelchair after all?"

"Yes. He overcame all the obstacles, always aiming to do more than anyone expected. That's his way. But it's hardly reason for you to feel any triumph, Alexander."

"What the hell do you mean! Of course I'm glad he can walk after all!"

"I'm sure you are."

"Well then what the hell were you talking about? Get the hell out, Dad. Oh, wait. First, tell me how Mom is."

"Much the same, except your running away upsets her."

"Oh, and the only reason you found me is she made you, I'm sure."

"I'll ignore that. Naturally I want to know where you are. Your great uncle Carl died. He left you a lot of money. I hope you don't squander it."

"Put it with the rest of the inheritances and give it to Pete for his treatments."

"That won't be necessary. I don't suppose you have any plan for your life, as usual? Living in a hotel room isn't promising."

"I have a job. This is temporary."

"A job doing what?"

"Tennis pro at the country club here."

"Is that what you plan to do with your life?"

"I'm going to college, too." Unthinking, he picked up the transcript, which was lying on a side table.

Zander's father took the transcript out of Zander's hand. He perused it a moment, then said, "Naturally it is still in the intent stage. But I suppose there are some colleges that will accept you with grades like this."

"Yeah," Zander said, grabbing it back angrily. "There are."

"I hope there are."

His father walked around the room, having noticed a crack in the door to the bathroom. He opened it, pushing its occupant back.

"Why am I not surprised?" he asked, when he saw her.

Brenda was standing there. She had gotten dressed. Zander could have kissed her for that alone.

"You're father of the year, aren't you?" Brenda said. "You are so much like mine!"

"Who are you?"

"Brenda Barrett," she said, coming back into the room. "Who are you?"

"Dr. Cameron Lewis."

"You are awfully cold, Dr. Cameron Lewis, for someone who found his own son missing after four years."

"Don't bother, Brenda," Zander said.

"I see you know him well," Dr. Lewis sneered. "So young lady, you can do no better? Alexander is impetuous, without any plan or direction, negligent to the point of being dangerous, flighty, thoughtless and reactive, yet here you are. How long ago did you meet?"

"You're talking about your own son!"

"I know his bad points!"

"I'll say. So what are his good points?"

"Good points?"

"Don't you know what they are? Well, that sure makes you father of the year."

Cameron was too smart not to catch her meaning. "Good points don't need correcting," he said.

"So that means there is nothing to do but to ignore them! I get it. No wonder you drive people crazy!"

"I'll ignore that."

"You ignore a lot, it seems."

He went to the door. "Good Day," he said, leaving a piece of paper on the table. "That's Peter's number. He insists he wants to talk to you, Alexander."

"What a jerk," Brenda declared, just as he closed the door, hoping he heard.

"I agree."

"What does he mean, 'insists'? Of course Peter wants to talk to you."

"He means he thinks it's a bad thing for Peter, naturally."

"I'm sorry," she said. "He is your father."

"No, it's all right. You can understand. I know your father was similar."

"Not _that_ bad."

"You were wonderful." He went over to her. "No one has ever talked to him like that. That I've seen. You were brilliant. Magnificent." He started to massage her shoulders. "Anything you want me to do to you," he grinned mischievously, "and it's all yours."

"Later," she said. She put her arms around him and hugged him, laying her head against his shoulder.

He put his arms around her, and buried his face in her hair. They stood there only hugging for awhile.

"I wonder who is the young lady in the rehab clinic?" Brenda asked later. She had sat on the couch with Zander, and had pulled his head to her shoulder and was stroking his arm. He sat there like that with his feet up on the coffee table. It felt funny being coddled like that. Especially with his father's voice still resounding in his ears.

"He had such a deep damn voice," Zander said, amazed at himself as he said it. He was saying his thoughts out loud. "If only he'd been born with narrower vocal cords, then he'd be a different human being."

"So would you," she observed.

"Why would that be bad?"

"That's him talking," she said.

Zander took her other hand. He traced the lines in her palm. "Switzerland," he said. "What girl could be there in a rehab clinic that would lead Dad here? Dad's smart. It's hard to tell."

"Not when you have me around," Brenda said. "You may have two-tenths higher a grade point average, but I have a friend Ned. He told me awhile back that Emily was in a rehab clinic in Switzerland."

Zander thought for a moment. "And she was paralyzed the same way, too," he observed. "I mean, not the same way, but she was in the same condition. That's what I found so terrifying. Like I really had this propensity to paralyze people."

"Propensity," Brenda repeated. "Admirable. Propensity. Your father has a propensity to scapegoat you. Mine did that too. Watch out. You get taught to take it and you keep taking it and you feel guilty and it drives you crazy. Meanwhile they do as much or worse and don't have to feel guilty about it."

"Feeling guilty is awful," he said. "I think that feels worse than anything. Like now I feel guilty about not talking to Pete, though part of why I left was I felt guilty for being around Pete."

"There's a sign right there that I'm right."

He smiled, tilted his head back to look at her. "You didn't get your 2.2 for nothing," he said.


	10. Chapter 10

Brenda and Ned went to meet with some record distributors. She wore a black business suit with a pink blouse. She looked feminine yet professional.

Ned whistled, and she smiled in appreciation. 

"You don't look too bad yourself," she grinned. 

They stopped for lunch at the Port Charles Grill after the meeting was over. They talked about the meeting for a little while, and about a couple of new records. Brenda thought the lackadaisical record company was coming a bit alive again.

"I hope so," Ned said.

"How is your cousin?" Brenda asked. "Emily."

"Doing better. Almost getting back to normal."

"Did you say she was in a rehab in Switzerland?"

"Yes."

"Are there a lot of rehabs in Switzerland?"

"Why?"

"Somebody else I know of is in a rehab clinic there, too."

"Maybe it's their thing. Like watches."

"Sure," Brenda said, stirring her coffee. "Could be. I wish Emily could come back to visit."

"She can't with Zander Smith here."

"Why not?"

"We don't want him after her again."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he is what he is."

"I don't think he's dedicated to repeating past mistakes."

"Maybe you're right. He probably has some current mistakes he's working on."

Brenda laughed.

"But how do you know, Brenda, I mean why would you know him well enough to have that opinion?"

"From hanging out with him over at the PC Hotel, that's how!"

"Brenda! You can do better than that!"

"Depends on what you mean by better."

"Smarter, older, more mature, wealthier, oh, let's see. No criminal record, an education, some class, sensitivity"

"Well, stop. As to class and sensitivity, he has some. His education is as good as mine. Very slightly better. But he's got some things you would never understand. But let me ask you – how come you guys didn't go after Emily at the time? Read her the riot act, ground her, whatever?"

"I don't know. It must have been impossible. I'm not her parent, so I only had so much say. I tried."

"Why didn't her parents put their feet down?"

"Who knows? Those two are always having one problem or another, and they let it get out of hand. They thought she was OK, visiting him in jail. That was the only good point. For awhile there, we knew where she was. But when he got out all hell broke loose."

"She'd be safe back here, from Zander. He's distracted."

"Well, there's no reason to chance it right now. But Brenda, come over and see us every once in awhile. You know how my grandmother loves to see you. And maybe my family can do a better job of distracting you from Zander."

"Hey," she flicked a napkin at Ned. "I can handle Zander."

"I bet you can," Ned replied, his eyes twinkling.

Cameron Lewis saw Brenda when he was in the lobby of the Port Charles Hotel. He had just finished putting Alexander's money in the bank.

He asked the clerk. "This hotel wouldn't seem to be the kind to have woman of a certain profession in it. Its reputation could go downhill."

"Nothing like that we know of," the clerk smiled.

He pointed Brenda out to the clerk. "There, in some dark sort of outfit, second table in, with a man in a suit."

"Her profession's OK! That's Brenda Barrett. She's famous, in this town at least. She's a model. One of the prides of Port Charles. Internationally known."

"Oh, I see," he said.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" the clerk asked, amused. "Something she said? She can be a little satirical at times."

"Yes, it was like that," Cameron smiled.

He went over to the table. They were just getting up.

"Well, well," Brenda said. "Ned, this is Dr. Lewis; he's Zander's father."

"Zander's what? I mean, well I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you. Or someone who looked like you."

"You were expecting?" Cameron sneered.

"Um, better I should get back to work now. See you later, Brenda."

"See you, Ned. Well," she addressed Cameron. "Please do sit down."

He sat down, slowly, carefully, as if she might bite. He looked at her again – studied her a little, and determined that he had jumped to conclusions. She was wearing a business suit. He realized her good looks were of such a high quality that she couldn't possibly be what he had so quickly guessed at. But he was not an expert on women. And what had she been doing in Alexander's room?

She seemed not to mind his inspection. She was used to things like that.

"Who was the young woman, in the clinic in Switzerland?" she asked, looking him right in the eye.

Cameron stared at her. "So you were listening," he said.

"Maybe," she said. "Or Zander could have told me. But it was a girl named Emily Quartermaine, wasn't it?"

Cameron was taken aback. He could not believe Brenda could be this clever.

"How did you figure that out?" he asked, frostily.

"You said her statements led you to find Zander."

"She is one of the young people Peter has helped to get their legs back. As she told her story, I recognized certain characteristics of her attacker – well, I suspected. It could have come to nothing, but I followed up by coming to her hometown, and then I only had to read some back issues of the newspapers to see that my hunch was right."

"You really are cold," she said. "Nobody treats their flesh and blood like you do, but certainly no one talks about them to third parties the way you do. Which leads me to a suspicion."

"I'm certain you'll tell me what it is," he said, in his coldest and sternest tone.

But it had no effect on this woman.

"He's not your son, and you know it."

Cameron merely stared at her with his best stare of contempt, the one usually reserved for Alexander.

"Who could blame your wife for straying?" she went on. "You knew it, but you were too straight laced. Ashamed for society to find out what had occurred. So you were willing to keep it a secret and play the role. But you can't quite get it out of your head that you lost control of your wife, and you take it out on the evidence."

"You really should take up psychiatry," he said sarcastically.

"Maybe."

"So we have here a young woman, a model, internationally famous, apparently a businesswoman also. Quite attractive ."

"Why, thank you!"

"No one would deny that. We find this woman in a boy's hotel room."

"Come on. I know he's your son, but let's not use 'boy.' Let's try 'young man.'"

"All right," he sneered. Brenda wondered if she was going to slap him some time in the next five minutes. She weighed whether that would help Zander or hurt him.

"You would never understand, because you don't want to."

"More amateur psychiatry."

"What the hell is wrong with you? You've got this fixation on putting your own son down."

He was silent.

"My father did some of that," she continued. "I know what that feels like."

"So you identify with Alexander, do you?"

"Maybe. Did you father do the same to you?"

"Yes," he said. "It didn't hurt me. It built my character."

"So why didn't your older son – Peter, is it? – get the same character building treatment?"

"He didn't need it."

"You did, though."

He said nothing.

"Hell, you're worse than I thought. You understand how it feels yourself, but you do it anyway."

"I got myself together, in case you haven't noticed."

"In what way?"

"What do you mean, in what way? Do you need to see my resume?"

"Who cares? You're a miserable excuse for a father and in the end, that is all that matters."

"I'll take it under advisement," he sneered. "Your father may have had it worse than I did," he could not refrain from adding.

"Miraculous!" Brenda declared. "That actually reflects well on Zander. You mean you've found somebody worse? Terrific! I'll be sure to tell him as soon as I see him."

"You do that," he said, getting up. He left the restaurant in all the majesty of his contempt.

On a break, Zander walked to the docks at the Country Club, where the rich guys kept their yachts. At least, those guys not rich enough to live on the water themselves, and have their own docks right on their property, like the Quartermaines did, and the Lewises did.

Nervously, he called Pete's number.

"Is that you, Alexander?" Pete answered, in a happy tone. "I'm so glad Dad finally found you!"

"Me too," Zander said, numbly. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, better than ever. Walking around, did Dad tell you? It was not so bad as it first seemed."

"He told me. I am really glad for you."

"I'm so glad to hear from you; I was afraid I never would again. Are you all right?"

"Yes."

"How was Dad? As cranky as ever?"

"The same."

"What have you been doing?"

"Working as a tennis pro in a country club. Trying to see if I can get into the local college."

"That sounds OK."

"Yeah, it's better than the last few years."

"I wish I could see you. Maybe I can get over there sometime or you can come over here."

"I wouldn't mind that."

"I hope you're not still upset about the accident, Alex, it was an accident."

"Around Dad it doesn't seem so."

"And don't run off on me like that again!"

"Not on you; I'm glad we can talk without Dad. How is Mom?"

"She worries about you a lot. More than me by now."

"She's still there?"

"No, he didn't tell you?"

"No."

"She left him and now she's with Uncle Dean in Tampa."

"How long ago was that?"

"About three years ago."

"So you overcame all obstacles."

"I know, I know. That's what Dad told you. I wish he could have done it without seeming to take a swipe at you. I could have thought he might have learned with your being gone all that time and Mom leaving him and all that."

"What's she got to do with that?"

"She's kind of a lot better than she used to be. That's how she got it together to up and leave him. It seems fifty percent of the reason is your leaving, which she thinks wouldn't have happened without his, you know, hypercritical ways."

"She's that much better?"

"I guess you could say that, Alex. Yeah, since she can oppose Dad, which she did and then leave him."

"What did he do when she left?"

"You know, I couldn't say he did anything in particular. He had me call her to have her tell me."

"That's not really surprising. She'll never be back, then. He'll never admit to doing anything wrong."

"You could be right, there, Alex. But let me give you her number, and maybe you can talk to her if you feel like you want to, all right?"

Zander had to go back in to find a piece of paper and a pen.

A girl at the reception desk helped him.

"Do you talk to her much, Pete?"

"Every other week or so."

"How long have you been there in Switzerland?"

"Two years. It's been a good thing for me. I think I want to be a physical therapist."

"Have you told Dad that?"

Peter laughed. "Yeah, and I've been getting a lot of flack."

"You?"

"I know, can you believe it, Alex?"

"Yeah, he's sure you should be a doctor. But if you don't want to be one, hold out, all right?"

"I'll look to you for guidance. And call me again. I love you, Alex. Don't get lost again. We'll have to find a way to ignore Dad together, see, now I have that more in common with you. OK."

"OK, Pete."

"I like helping these kids that are here," he said. "I feel like I'm really getting them to believe they can do it. They do amazing things."

"Were they all in accidents?"

"Yes. Nobody that was born with paralysis. But if I get into physical therapy, I'll see that, too."

"Odd place for such a clinic."

"You know why, Alex? It's the tall alps. The crazy ski slopes. There were so many injuries due to that. Of course now there are all kind of injuries treated here – not just skiing accidents, but falls from horses, other sports injuries, even airplane crashes and gunshot wounds."

"Car accidents and bus accidents?"

"Yeah! We have one girl here that was in a bus accident. And several car accidents."

"Sounds sad," Zander said.

"It is if you think of what they lost. But it can be downright cheery around here when somebody makes a gain. Well, Alex, don't be a stranger to me, do you hear?"

"No, Pete. I'm sorry I did."

"I'll call you. Call Mom when you can. She really will appreciate it now. I promise."

Zander hung up, feeling funny. He was almost lightheaded.


	11. Chapter 11

"I should take that money. For the baby," Zander was telling Brenda, after her tennis lesson. He always put her as the last one of the day. "I just thought of it."

They had stopped for dinner at the country club that day.

"You can go and tell Daddy Dearest about it, my sweet," Brenda said. "He's staying right there in the hotel with us."

"No way!"

"I saw him in the Port Charles Grill today."

"Gives me the creeps."

"I know. Maybe he gives up knocking better than Sonny."

"I'm sure he has some sort of radar that determines when I'm having a good time."

Brenda giggled. "His kind always does know how to rain on a parade, don't they? Did you know the uncle who left you that money very well?" Brenda asked him.

"Great uncle Carl. Nice old guy. Probably he treated all of his nieces and nephews equally."

"Why not?"

"I guess that was supposed to explain why he didn't leave me out, even though I am such a – well, whatever."

"Rogue?"

He grinned. "That great vocabulary again!"

"He left your brother an inheritance too, then," Brenda said.

"I talked to Pete today."

"You did? How was it?"

"Good. He is happy. He wants to be a physical therapist. Dad is actually giving him some flack."

"Why?"

"Naturally Dad thinks Pete should be a doctor."

"Naturally. Makes sense."

Later, it was getting dark, and they walked along the shore of the lake, near the pier and the boat docks.

"I think it was Emily who your father talked to, in the Swiss rehab."

"Me too. Pete described the kids there. I got him onto the reasons they were there, and he said there was a girl there who had been in a bus accident. By now she must know that I shot Pete."

"I don't know that's necessarily so. The way your father described it, he figured it out from her description alone."

"You talked to him?"

"He told me. After I guessed and told him her name. He heard Emily describe her own experience, and though your name was not the same, he recognized you as the young man, from that description. When he heard your name that you are using now, he figured it was the alias you would come up with."

"He's that clever."

"Sure he is. But did you ever wonder if maybe he wasn't your father? I mean, biologically."

Zander laughed. "No. I mean, my mother - no one would."

"You don't really know what she was like when she was that young."

"I never heard anything of her to think she was much different."

"From your relatives?"

"Right. Though they don't talk much. I don't know. She left him, though. Pete said she did."

"Good for her. What does she look like? Do you take after her?"

"Come to think of it, not much."

"Let me see," she held up his chin to the moonlight. "I can't tell if you don't take after Dr. Daddy or if his perpetual scowl makes his features impossible to compare to yours."

He scowled. "Aim higher," he said, in a voice imitating Cameron.

"Aim higher? Is that what he says?"

"Yeah. Did I sound like him?"

"No, not entirely. Do people ever say you and Pete look alike?"

"No."

"Did people ever say oh you look like your mother, or your father, or Uncle Carl or Aunt Suzie?"

He laughed. "No, they aren't big on that. They trace the inheritances and the bank accounts rather than the physical features."

"That would figure," Brenda laughed.

They walked on a little more, holding hands.

"I like your theory," Zander said, "but it's too late now to make any difference."

"I guess. But would it make any difference? Would you feel any different? Maybe it explains how he treats you. See that's what I can't get past. No matter what your own kids does, they are your child and your flesh and blood. Who talks like he does? And to other people?"

"Usually he's too much trying to maintain his image," Zander said. "To talk about me to other people. I think you are an exception for some reason."

"Oh? Maybe. He tries to smote me down with his frostiest look. Looks shocked that it doesn't cower me. Then he answers my question."

"You are one of a kind."

"Thank you," she said. She turned and walked backwards, and moved him toward her.

They were in the dark, under the pier.

"I love how you just take things on," he said. "I mean, you don't worry or complain or have yourself surrounded with people trying to protect you from life. You just take it on."

She smiled and drew his arms around her waist. In the next second, he had pinned her against the pier. He kissed her really hard.

"Give me something to take on," she breathed heavily, "Ahh, that's it," she said as she felt his hardness against her.

Soon her skirt was pushed up. "That's it!" she gasped.

Her head went back, and she could only see the bottom of the pier. It was high, but there were a few footsteps.

"Ah," she groaned, quietly. "Ah, ah,"

She felt him pushing into her, his hands moving behind her lower back to make her position a little more comfortable. She pulled her right leg up, using it to pin his thigh closer in to her.

"OK?" he asked, in a thick voice, thrusting again.

"Oh, OK," she panted. "Yes, OK."

"Huh," she breathed, almost quietly. "Huh, uh,"

She wrapped her arms around his neck. They kissed long and deep, as he pushed her body up a little. She felt her hips rocking in a perfect rhythm. She felt the utter quiet around, the faint lapping of lake water and a few more footsteps overhead. Her breathing got deeper and deeper, but she was silent.

"Oh," she moaned, very softly. "Oh."

When they were done, she sank down to the sand, and he went with her. She put her arms around his neck. "You are one of the kind, too," she reached up and kissed him some more. "Unique."


	12. Chapter 12

Sonny walked along the docks. This sometimes cleared his head. His bodyguards were at a discreet distance.

He heard some voices below. He saw Brenda and Zander leaning against the railing over the docks. He stopped to listen. You never knew what you could find out.

"Maybe it was the gardener or the chauffeur or something," Brenda was saying to Zander, "And Mrs. Lewis couldn't resist."

"Son of a chauffeur," Zander answered. "Yeah, I like it. She'd have been lonely. She seems so passive to me, though. That's why it doesn't seem likely."

"Aha, but her very passiveness left her helpless in the arms of this chauffeur," Brenda smiled. "He was an aggressive sort. Like his offspring. In just the right way, of course."

"I wonder if I could dare to ask her," he grinned, putting his arm around her, low, so that his hand touched her rear end. She wriggled and giggled. "I don't think I can," Zander continued. "I am used to thinking of her as someone who is easy to upset. That would be too much."

"Too much for you," Brenda said, reaching up to him and kissing his lips. "There's no such thing. You do your date under a pier."

"Which I don't think she minded."

"Of course she didn't. It's that you would even try it. Or to fall in love with your kidnap victim."

"I hate being in love."

"I know what you mean. But it is having your heart broken that you hated."

"That only happens as a result of earlier falling in love."

"I understand."

"You do, don't you?"

"Yeah. And only you would do your bosses' wife, and knock her up to boot."

"Not intentional."

"Still, you didn't back off out of any abundance of caution. Not when the prize was offered to you."

"Some prize. All right. You make it sound good, the same stuff other people give me a lot of crap for. So, I'll thank you."

She grinned. "I cannot wait to find out how you intend to do that."

He grinned back. "Let's go," he said.

They walked off into the night.

"Screw you, Sonny," Carly yelled.

Sonny just stood there, in the living room of Bobbie's house.

"You can go and be with that bitch for all I care now," Carly said. All of the demands and worries of the past few months had suddenly snapped Carly's brain. "She just gets a warning for being with Zander, and I get a lot of crap. One minute you'll adopt my baby, and the next you're giving me a hard time because I was with Zander."

"She's not my wife, and - "

"I wasn't either! You had kicked me out!"

"It's just that if it was someone who didn't know, Carly - but Zander. Carly, he's a real pain in the neck. And you told him! How could you tell him first?"

"Because it's his child. His and mine. So you can't take this one away from me. Forget using your threats."

"What threats?"

Carly hardly knew what she was talking about. "You'd rather I slept with some stranger than my own bodyguard? Who you picked out."

"Yeah, because this stranger wouldn't be so much of a pain in the neck." 

"Nothing better happen to him, ever, Sonny. I don't care what he does to you. That's my baby's father and my baby's going to have a father."

Sonny was stunned. He felt practically paralyzed. Carly never talked like this before. He couldn't do anything to Zander anyway. He had a code, and well, there was no way that code allowed him to snuff Zander out - this was a personal matter.

"I didn't threaten Zander or anybody," he said. "But how could you?"

"You had your little affair during that separation! Why the hell is it worse for me than you?"

"The consequences aren't the same. You got pregnant"

"You could get someone pregnant. Or no, you can't, can you? Well, I want two kids, and now I will have two kids, and you can't take this one away from me, so forget about adopting this kid."

"I would never take a child from its mother! When have I ever made such a threat? Never."

"I'll stay on the safe side of that, thank you. At least Zander wouldn't do it. Couldn't do it, in a court of law or anywhere. No court will give Zander custody, anyway. He can't pay off people in the courts, either."

"I wouldn't do that to take a child from its mother!"

"I don't care what you say, screw you, Sonny, you give me a hard time about sleeping with Zander when you slept with someone else too!"

"Someone else is one thing. But Zander! Damn, Carly, don't you know what kind of father you got for your kid? Zander never thinks."

"Which is exactly why he'll never get custody."

"What a terrible father for a kid to have!"

"I don't know. He will be affectionate to the child, I think."

Sonny was silent. 

"Come back," he sighed. "This will work out somehow."

A day earlier Carly would have given anything to hear those words. Now she was so tired of it all, suddenly. And she started to sense she might have some power, after all. Well, it wasn't as if he never used his.

"Forget it," she said. "I've had it up to here. If I'm not there, you can't kick me out. I'm tired of you kicking me out. That penthouse is your house, it seems, not ours. I end up here anyway. I am not subjecting Michael to moving back and forth at your whim and not subjecting this child to that either."

Sonny walked on the docks some more to try to regain his head.

He could not understand how Zander Smith managed it. He hated not understanding a thing, because that meant you could not control it.

Carly, then Brenda. How? A millionaire corporate raider like Jasper Jax, he could understand. He had lived through that awful competition, which he knew he had brought on himself. It was not all that unexpected. But a kid, twenty years younger than himself, who never thought before he acted, blew up suddenly and did stupid things, didn't have a dime, belonged nowhere - how did he do it?

Sonny's brain was frozen trying to figure this out. Emily, he remembered. She was an innocent, unsuspecting, unsophisticated kid who got herself involved in what she didn't understand.

But Carly? It made no sense. He supposed Zander was a bad choice for a bodyguard, but he had at the time wanted to place Zander somewhere, and Carly was not so much in danger as that he had wanted to have someone who could give him an idea of what she did with herself. He realized he had never tried to get any such report out of Zander. He had become too busy with other things.

And neither of them had revealed to him how far they had gone when he had fired Zander for trying to seduce Carly. Then, Carly made out she was some sort of victim. Sonny hadn't really believed she was all that bent about it, but had put on a show to impress Zander that he couldn't get away with trying to seduce the Wife of Mob Boss Sonny Corinthos. That just wasn't done, by anybody, let alone some stupid 20-year-old kid. And now, Sonny realized, that as he had delivered him impressive firing to Zander, Zander knew, the whole time, that he had already succeeded in seducing the Wife of Mob Boss Sonny Corinthos!

It was beyond maddening. Zander is so thoughtless and stupid, Sonny thought, it almost allows him to get away with things nobody else would even dare try.

And Brenda. Sonny shook his head. That made no sense.

No sense at all. He knew Brenda was just playing around, but just playing around - well, even for that, Brenda could find somebody a lot better strung together than Zander.

He was amazed Brenda would even consider a younger man, period.

But Brenda was not his wife. Carly was. One's wife was one's wife. Sonny lived by a strict set of rules. He had to get her back.

"Hmmm, I love holding you like this afterwards," Brenda said, as she and Zander lay, naked after another bout of passion, in her bed at the hotel. "You can make a good case that sex is better than being in love." She said the last three words with a mocking sarcasm.

"With you, anyway," he said. "I mean, it's way better to be your boy toy than to have someone else be in love with me."

"I think that's a compliment," she giggled.

"Of course it is."

They were silent a moment. "But how was your brother?" she asked. "I mean, how was his attitude to you? Was it the same?"

"No. No, he was actually more – more, I guess I would say, affectionate."

"He understands more how your father was when you aren't what your father thinks you should be."

"Yeah, it's got to kill Dad that Pete just wants to be a therapist."

"Does it surprise you?"

"I don't know. Odd question, Brenda. Nobody ever asked what I think of anything."

"I do."

"OK. Yes. I thought Pete wanted to be a doctor. Or assumed he did. You know, maybe he never did tell me that himself. It was all presumed, you know, all the time, so nobody said so, because it was just known. Maybe it's not a surprise. That might never have been Pete's desire, specifically, for Pete."

"Then he's lucky he ended up in a rehab."

"How do you do that, miss?" Zander hugged her a little. "Even with that! It sounds like I did Pete a favor or something. But no way – that had to be a lot of suffering. He'd have figured out that he didn't want to be a doctor anyway."

"Well," Brenda said, stroking his arm, "Pete needs you, now."

Zander smiled. "He said that. He could use an ally."

"He has a good one."

"I wonder," Zander said, "if Emily really had another guy, could it have been Pete?"

"Probably not. Wouldn't he have told you?"

"I guess. I don't know. He mentioned one of the patients having been in a bus accident casually enough."

"She told you she had another guy?"

"Yeah, that's why she dumped me."

"You don't sound sure you believe it."

"Sometimes I think she might have done it for my own good. She was paralyzed. She does that self sacrificing stuff."

"Like Sonny did for me."

"To me that is way worse. I would rather find out she really found another guy she found out she really loved, rather than me, than to think she would do a thing like break it off when she knew she loved me."

"Maybe it would be like Sonny and me. She was right. She did you a favor, then, because she frees you up - somebody who loves you enough to stick with you, or show up for your wedding, might be out there."

"How do you know they won't do that same thing, when you thought it was love before and it wasn't?"

"You have to chance it."

"I feel worse for you. Leaving you at the church like that is plain cruel. Why didn't he leave you well before it had gotten to that point, then? He's supposedly so smart. It's almost like the whole thing was revenge. Didn't you have the other guy earlier?"

"Yeah, but I'd left him for Sonny. Wouldn't seem right for Sonny to want any revenge for that."

"Do you think you could ever stand in a church like that again?"

"No," she giggled. "It will have to be an elopement."

"I don't blame you," he said. "I used to think it was so mean to call me on the phone and tell me she had another guy and she never wanted to see me again, but that's nothing compared to waiting in a church like that."

"Never wanted to see you again? Why wouldn't she want to be friends, at least?"

"You think that means it was that self sacrificing stuff?"

"Yeah."

"I am so aggravated with all that. All those games are just hurtful."

"I hear you."

"I much prefer being dealt with straight," he said.

"Me too," she murmured, against his chest. "Go to sleep," she advised.


	13. Chapter 13

Zander moved in to the brownstone. It did not take long, as he had so few possessions. Fortunately, it was a furnished place.

He liked it. It was better than a room over Jakes, and even better than a fancy hotel room. Having to share a kitchen was an improvement for him, because he'd never had one at all.

His new neighbor, Taggart, had looked surprised.

"Coming up in the world, Smith," he had said.

"Yeah," Zander said. "Looks like I'm equal with you."

Then there was the surprise neighbor that he had not been planning on. He knew Carly would be there a lot, it was the reason for his moving in there.

He saw his own name on one of the mailboxes in the entry hallway. Bobbie had already fixed that for him, he realized.

He saw Carly's also, with Bobbie's. He guessed Carly got mail there, because she might have lived there with her mother once.

"Hi Zanner!" he heard. He looked up to see Carly and Michael coming in the main door.

"Hey, policeman Michael. Caught any criminals lately?"

"Ess," Michael said. "I'm a wobber. I stealed da money. Come and west me, Zanner."

Zander obliged, running after the giggling Michael in the hallway for a little while, and then picking him up. "I have you now and I am taking you off to jail," he said.

"So you're here," Carly smiled.

"Yeah. Are you visiting your mother?"

"I'm staying with my mother."

"For long?"

"Indefinitely. Michael, go in," she said.

"I've been kicked out again," Carly said. "I'm tired of that. I'm not going back."

"Going to make Sonny sweat it, eh?" Zander said. "Wow, that's brave."

"If I'm not there, he can't kick me out."

"True. How often does he come to beg you to go back?"

"Only once."

"Do you feel all right?" he asked, seeing she was a little puffy around the eyes.

"All right for my condition," she said. "Why, are you worried about your kid already?"

She smiled as she said it. Zander wondered how it could be that she was friendly again. But it was not a bad thing.

"No," he answered. "Just thought I'd ask. Figuring your condition could have an effect on how you feel."

"OK," she smiled again. "See you," she said, going into Bobbie's part of the house.

"Very interesting," Brenda said. She came over after he called her to invite her to see the place. "Wonder if Sonny knows you're the father by now."

"Why?"

"That's why he kicked her out this time."

"Could be," Zander said. "I'll ask her. No, on the other hand I won't. It's not my problem."

"It is better for you. Not having Sonny as stepfather."

"I guess that's true. Though I can hardly imagine Carly picking any guy who won't be a bad choice for stepfather. For me, anyway."

"Anybody else at least would start out neutral with you, though."

"And maybe not be a criminal. I wonder if she can manage that. Though how do I talk when I have a criminal record."

"Because it isn't the same."

"When you thought you were going to marry him, Brenda, did you think you were going to be happy as the wife of the mob boss?"

"Must have. I always thought I could get him down to the island, deep down. He has this island in the tropics where he goes when he's hiding out. I must've been figuring we'd end up there for good. I don't know what I was thinking. Stupid move, that. Entirely."

"I know how you feel. I make stupid moves, too." He went over and hugged her.

She was surprised, pleasantly so. She hugged him back. "It must be awful to be one of those people who don't," she said, looking up and brushing his hair back. "They must realize they are insufferable to the rest of us."

"Insufferable! Good one! You mean Dad, I guess, and Sonny."

"Yeah," she grinned. "Those guys."

"Can't really include Carly," he observed. "She's one of us."

"I'll have to come over here a lot," Brenda reflected, playfully, "Keep her away from you."

"Thanks for saying that, but you have no need to come over, at least, not for that reason."

"If she's really finally sick of him," Brenda started saying.

"This is as temporary as the rest," he interrupted. "And if you got him back, Carly would still be a big pain forever. She'd still be around, pestering you and scolding you and - well, – well, make him go to that island first."

"Oh, no. I'm not leaving you here with Carly!"

He cooked dinner for her, getting her a glass of wine. She stayed in the kitchen talking to him instead of going back into the living room to relax, which he had told her she should do.

"You need more salt in that."

"Critics out!"

"OK," she giggled. "I'm sure it will all work out."

"You're nervous about my cooking."

"Yes, very. When was the last time you cooked anything?"

"You can thank Carly for some things. She showed me a couple of things over at the house she had when I worked for her."

"Oh, I'm glad she taught you a couple of things in a room other than the bedroom."

"Some stuff there, too," he grinned. "Which will also prove to be to your benefit."

"I never thought I'd find Carly useful, but maybe I can," Brenda said. "Can't wait to find out."

Brenda lay on her back on his bed, her feet still on the floor.

Her blouse was still on, and her skirt was still on, but he had taken her underwear. His mouth went up her thigh and then met up with her crotch. She wasn't sure where his hands were, she could only stare at the ceiling, moaning softly, then longer, then louder. She felt like she was off on some other planet, where there was nothing, only intense, keen waves that rolled through inside her.

She finally came back to consciousness, and noticed he pulled her up to lay more comfortably, and was beside her.

She felt she ought to make some smart-aleck remark, but couldn't. She only felt speechless. Serious, even. She reached for him and then kissed him.

They lay kissing for awhile. It got totally dark.

"Stay here," he said. "It's late."

She didn't object. He undressed her with a little help from her.

In the morning she woke up first, and noticed he was still dressed. Had never gotten undressed.

She got up and looked around in his closet, borrowing a robe.

She hesitated to go into the kitchen, knowing it was shared, but then thought, what the heck, who cares if I run into Taggart? I don't care if he knows.

Humming as she looked for things, she looked up to see Zander. "Whoah!" she laughed. "I was sure you were Taggart!"

"You don't want him to see you?" he grinned.

"I was only now just thinking I don't care if he does."

Zander came over to her and pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She kissed him back, turning to him and holding his forearms. She felt his tongue push her lips open and she opened her mouth and pushed hers forward. Her hands went up his forearms and then around his neck.

"I'm cooking you breakfast," she said, turning back toward the counter, when she had come back up for air, "don't argue."

Brenda went to take a shower after Zander left for work. She was drying off when she heard knocking at the door.

She hesitated. She didn't care who knew she was there, but it was Zander's place. She went to the door. The brownstone was so old fashioned, there was no peephole.

She sighed, then decided not to answer it. Zander wasn't home, anyway.

As she came out onto the front steps she saw Carly and Michael. "Hi Brenna," Michael said. "You wanna go play at the park?"

"She can't just now, Michael," Carly said. "She's on her way to work, like big people do."

"Oh, where Zanner is," Michael said. "We went to get 'im, Brenna, but he's not home."

"He will be later," Brenda said, "He'll be glad to see you, Michael."

"I'm a pweece," Michael said.

"OK, pardner," Brenda said. "You catch those bad guys today, while I go to work, OK?"

"OK!"

Brenda started walking down the street. "See you later," she said. 

Letitia came finally, going off with Michael. Carly went off to go to Deception, the company Sonny had bought for her. She rarely went in. It was when she was not with Sonny that she went in the most.

On the way, she worried about seeing that witch at the brownstone like that. Was there no escaping her?

Surely, she would find some other guy, one with a lot of money, and leave Zander alone. Carly was only amazed that Brenda had even spent the night there at the brownstone.

How could that relationship amount to anything?

In fact, Carly realized, it was all over as soon as that bitch found out she wasn't living with Sonny.

Carly had not thought before about this development.

But she soon recovered.

"Screw Sonny," she thought to herself. "The bitch can have him. I'm sick of worrying about that, too. I'm sick of him and his kicking me out when everything doesn't go his way, and I'm not going to drive myself nuts about her any more, either."

She had arrived at Deception, resolve angrily intact.


	14. Chapter 14

Brenda had gone to Deception already, and was in with Laura Spencer, talking about a possible modeling contract.

In talking to Laura she learned, to her great amusement, that Carly owned 51 of the company.

But Laura seemed to be in control of the decision.

Brenda signed the contract, wondering what would happen.

Then she went back to the hotel, took a swim, went back up to get dressed and then went back down to the PC Grill for a fruit cup.

She had been sitting there for a little while when she was again interrupted by Dr. Cameron Lewis.

"You're still here?" she asked.

"It seems Alexander has checked out."

"Are you asking me where he moved to?"

"I was thinking of it," was his sarcastic answer.

She took up her cell phone and called Zander.

"Got the voice mail," she said. "He must be in the middle of a lesson." She left the message: "Zander, sweetie, I have a Dr. Cameron Lewis here. He would like to know where you currently reside. I will tell him for you if you would like me to. On the other hand, if you would like me to tell him to go to hell, I will do that for you too."

"I could easily find him again," Cameron pointed out, as though to one who labored under mental disability. "I found him from nowhere. I can find him within this town again."

"No reason for me to make it any easier for you unless he wants me to," she said. "So sit down, please," she added, with a cordiality as phony as she could make it. "Tell me about your wife," she said. "I'm very curious. Won't she come? Zander is her son too. In fact, maybe her son only."

He sat down in spite of himself. "You are most extraordinary," he said. "Of course, that's none of your business."

"I wondered. I'm curious to see Zander's mother now, too. I figure she must be warm and kind – otherwise there is no way to explain his personality."

"Warm and kind does not get anyone anywhere."

"You _would_ believe that."

"Why do you care?"

She shrugged. "I do."

He stared.

"I was going to offer to help with the college," he said, finally.

"So you think he can graduate? Whoah! Let's call the newspapers!"

He was silent.

"So you admit that you think he's smart enough to graduate?"

"Obviously."

"Zander will jump for joy," she said sarcastically, throwing down her napkin and getting up. "You actually said a positive thing about him," she said as she walked out.

Zander took a deep breath, and called up his mother's number.

It had taken him a long while to get up the nerve to call his mother. Time and time again he had looked at the paper with the number Pete had given him. Then he programmed the number into his phone. He saw it every once in awhile.

He didn't know why he dreaded calling her. He had talked to his father and that hadn't killed him. His mother wasn't mean. She was nothing.

Mean was easier to deal with than nothing.

Finally, he hit the call button.

"Hello?" Zander recognized his mother's voice at once.

"Mom?"

"Alexander!"

"Yes."

"I'm so relieved."

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"Peter told me he had talked to you. But I feel much better hearing your voice for myself."

"Dad is up here. That is how Peter and I got back in touch."

"I'm glad he found you."

"You're with Uncle Dean?"

"Yes, in Tampa."

"How are you?"

"Pretty good. These modern medications work a lot better. I have been taking classes and working on the garden here. Uncle Dean and his family have been really nice."

Zander thought she did sound more lively. He wondered how much was the medication and how much was being free of Cameron.

"I'm really glad."

"What about you, Alexander?"

"I am working at a country club and thinking of trying to get into the local college."

"That's good. All on your own, you did that."

"Yes."

"I'm proud of you."

Zander was shocked almost. "You've never said that before," he said, without thinking.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I didn't mean - "

"It's all right."

She had never talked to him like that before. Like he was trying to comfort him, be nice to him? He could not describe it.

"I'll try to come down and see you," he said.

"You sound busy. I'll come up there."

"Alone?"

"Why not? Tell me your address."

Half stunned, he recited the address of the brownstone.

"Do you have friends up there?" she asked him.

"A few."

"A girlfriend?"

"Sort of."

She laughed.

"Can I call you up?" she asked. "Let me see. Is this your number that came up on the caller ID here?"

"Yeah, that's my cell. Call me whenever you want, Mom."

"All right. You too."

"OK."

"I really do love you very much, Alex."

"I love you, too," he said, forcing himself to do it, since she had taken the trouble and effort to say it herself.

"Do you know much about these medications?" he said to Brenda, later. She was older after all, and had known a lot of people. "It's like she's a different person."

"Do you recognize the same person at all?"

"Yes. She's the same, but more there. It's like she's more there. Does that make any sense?"

"Let's look it up," she suggested. 

She hooked up her laptop computer and surfed the internet. 

They read what they found on anti-depressant medications for awhile.

"Maybe one of these newer ones just happened to work for her," Brenda said.

"Maybe," he said. "And helped her get the nerve to leave Dad, and being away from him did the rest."

"Yeah, that probably did most of the improvement."

He was silent for awhile, thinking. Eventually, he said, "I wonder if she'll really come here to see me."

"You could go down there anyway rather than waiting for her to come up here," she said. "I think you want to see her."

"I guess I do. That much, I guess I do."

"I'll go with you if you want."

"Would you really?"

"Why not?"

"Always ready for anything," he grinned. "One of the things she never did before was the way she asked me if I had friends. Asked me if I have a girlfriend."

"What'd you tell her?" Brenda smiled. She shut the computer, and went over to the couch, where he had gone and sat down. She sat on his lap. "Or is that confidential?"

He smiled, and started to kiss her instead of answering her.

He got her up and they went to her bedroom, where they took their own clothes off, looking at each other.

He took her breasts in his two hands and kissed her, then pushed her back onto the bed.

He moved his hands down to her inner thighs and pushed them apart.

"I really want you," he said, his breath coming faster.

"I want you too. I want you in me."

Sitting up over her, he entered her quickly, pushing all the way in. "You mean like that?" he grinned down at her.

"Yes," she breathed, as she pushed her hips up and put her hands to his lower back.

He watched her as he pushed in and pulled out, her beautiful head going back and from side to side, moving his hands up and down her arms and over her breasts wherever the spirit moved him.

"Yes, just like that," she said, breathlessly. She took his hand with hers and moved them right down to her crotch, pushing his thumbs down on just the right place, yelling out with the shock of the result.

"You'll get me perfectly trained," he said, watching his hands under hers so as to learn how to get to her.

She proved unable to answer that, being taken off in a frenzy.

"Oh, yes," was all she said, then. She said this over and over. He felt more and more inspired, and pushed harder.

Later he lay on top of her, kissing her. "You _do_ have a girlfriend," she told him between kisses.

"Come to college with me," he said.

She threw her head back and laughed. "I've never been asked for a commitment like that before!"

"Is it too much?" he grinned wickedly.

"Oh no! But how'd I get this honor?"

"Well, I think you're more or less evenly matched with me intellectually."

"Gee, thanks!"

"I'm afraid I'm not going to be motivated enough."

"Oh, so you need competition!"

"Sort of."

She laughed. "You're forgetting something."

"What is it I am forgetting?" He moved to lie on his side next to her and flicked his thumb over her clitoris.

"Ahhhhhh," she moaned. "Maybe I'm forgetting something. You learn really well."

"But what was I forgetting?"

"That when we were in high school we were the same ages, but at different times. But I've had more years of life. It might help me in this college bowl. Oh, I know. I can give you a handicap."

He laughed. "Oh, I see! How kind of you, Brenda!"

"Well," she grinned mischievously, "You'll need it."

"Time will tell," he answered.


	15. Chapter 15

Carly walked into the studio where the models were. She thought she had seen Brenda Barrett go in.

Brenda looked up to see Carly after the make-up people had moved away from her side. She smiled wickedly. She knew Carly would make a fool of herself in front of everyone there.

But Carly, after confirming to herself it was indeed Brenda, turned and walked off.

Brenda was stunned for a second. "Wow, she must have taken some new medication," she said to no one in particular.

She heard some tittering among the make-up people.

Carly marched into Laura's office.

"What is that - that - that - Brenda Barrett doing here?" she demanded.

"Modeling," Laura answered mildly.

Carly knew the answer to any protests she wanted to make would be to the effect that she, Carly, was never there.

She was in the ladies' room later, when Brenda came in.

She took a look at Brenda but then went back to washing her hands.

"You're not going to demand I leave the company?" Brenda asked.

"Not at all. Do your job, collect your paycheck."

"What a change! How am I ever to adjust?"

"I don't know."

Brenda was absolutely bamboozled. She could put it down to nothing but a sudden attack of maturity Carly was having as the result of multiple motherhood. She started to walk out, then heard, "You can have that damn stupid Sonny! I don't want him anymore!"

Brenda giggled to herself as she continued down the hall. "Maturity! What was I _thinking_?"

Carly's steam was still going, Sonny realized. He was amazed and his ego was battered, since he had never been in this position before. On the rare occasions where it became her turn to make the next move, she had never made him wait this long.

He had sent Jason to get her and she had refused to come.

Then he went to see her to ask her to come back, and she refused.

The next time she refused to let him in.

He realized Zander was living upstairs and was horrified to find himself wondering if she might go back to him.

He went to see her at Deception. Since he had given her the share she had in that company, she said, she couldn't refuse to let him in and so he was there, but he could only talk business.

Finally he asked her what she wanted in order to come back.

"I'm not coming back, ever," she said.

"You're my wife," he said.

"Only until you say I'm not," she answered.

"Look, Carly, I understand I don't have the right to throw you out. I was upset."

"And next time you get 'upset?'"

"I'll leave for awhile," he said. "I love you, will you please come back?"

Carly was amazed. Maybe he did love her after all. "Only on one condition," she answered.

"What is that?"

"Let my children both have their own fathers."

For awhile Sonny wished he had not had to agree to such a thing, but then, later, thought it best. He had always thought it would be dangerous for his children. That was one of the main reasons he had left Brenda. She had talked about children, and he thought she should have them, and didn't want her to have children who were always in some sort of danger on account of being the descendants of an organized crime figure, and the likely descent into organized crime themselves.

He had changed tacks when he had adopted Michael, but he had done that because Carly wanted him to.

This appeared, in the long run, to be the perfect solution to his dilemma.


	16. Chapter 16

Emily was back in her hometown of Port Charles after an absence of two years. It was summer.

She had been at a rehab clinic in Switzerland for most of that time.

Slowly, painfully, she had finally learned to walk.

At first it had seemed so hopeless. She had called her boyfriend and broken it off with him, unable to continue when she believed she wouldn't walk again, or wouldn't feel anything having sex.

But the paralysis was gone now. 

Finally, she had convinced her family to let her just go to PCU. They had all these ambitions for her, but realized it was all too much with what she had been through. So instead of being a junior at a first rate college, she was going to be a freshman at PCU.

AJ came by her bedroom. "Looking out the window," he observed. "Has anything changed?"

"My tree isn't here," she said.

"It was getting too near the house. Something about the roots affecting the plumbing. Michael will be here soon. I'll come up and get you when she brings him."

"She" was Carly, AJ's ex-wife. Emily had been surprised when she first heard of it, because she knew Sonny had adopted Michael. Apparently that had all been undone, and AJ now had regular visitation with Michael. It was really a miracle.

Emily had the feeling that AJ didn't want her to come down and see Carly. He seemed to make a big deal of saying she didn't have to come down, because he would bring Michael up to her.

This began to pique Emily's curiosity. In a few minutes, she sneaked down the stairs and out to the front of the house.

In a little while, a car drove up. Carly got out of the driver's seat. She looked more or less the same. She opened the back door and started to let Michael out.

As Emily approached the car, she saw that Carly had a baby in the back seat, too. A little girl.

"Oh, hi," Carly said. "How are you?"

"Fine," Emily said. "He sure has gotten big."

"Could you take him in, so I don't have to get the baby out?" Carly asked.

"Sure. I guess this is another one of yours?"

"Yes, this is my daughter Ginny. Named for my mother Virginia."

"She's sweet."

"Thank you," Carly said.

AJ came running out.

"Emily, what are you doing?" he said. "Hi pardner," and he picked up Michael. "This is Aunt Emily."

Michael looked at her with big eyes and laid his head on AJ's shoulder.

"Have fun, Michael," Carly said, "Ginny and I will see you when Daddy brings you."

Emily played with Michael and AJ. It was nice having a nephew. She had thought she would have to struggle to see this child, to have to get out and see Carly and Sonny, and that her family wouldn't like that. Instead, Michael was just here.

She got to read Michael's bedtime story. After he was asleep, she went down and found AJ in the living room.

"So now Carly and Sonny have a little girl. That's nice," Emily said.

"No, Emily, why would you think anything having to do with Carly is that simple?"

"I would think you would be happier with her now that she has let you back as Michael's father."

"I'm happier with her."

"She was friendly when she dropped Michael off. Why did she do it? It seems like a miracle."

"She got mad at Sonny once. When she was first expecting Ginny. Then he wanted her back. For some reason she finally saw the light about whether or not a child should have Sonny as a father. So I lucked out and so did Ginny's father."

"Ginny's not Sonny's?"

"No. That's what I mean that nothing's simple with Carly."

"I'll say," Emily said. "So she is with Sonny?"

"Yeah," AJ said. "He's out of town again. Hiding on that island or wherever it is he goes when he has to lay low. She's at her mother's."

"That makes it way easier for you."

"It really does."

Fortunately she did not ask him any more questions.

Emily wanted to look for Zander, but didn't want to discuss that with her family. She went to see Jake, and learned he had moved to the brownstone.

She knocked on the door, shaking.

But when it opened, it was a woman. Emily stared. It was Brenda Barrett.

Brenda recovered first. "Hey," she said. "Emily? How are you?"

"Fine," Emily said simply. "I was looking for Zander."

"He's at work," Brenda said. "Come in."

Emily was immediately stunned to see a little playpen, and baby Ginny in it.

"What's Carly's daughter doing here?"

"Visiting Daddy."

"What?"

"She's Carly's, and Zander's."

Emily's stomach started to sink. She realized she must have expected everything to have stayed the same. At first she had felt lucky Zander was still in town, half expecting to find him gone to where no one knew.

But a thing like this had simply never occurred to her.

Brenda picked Ginny up and went over to the couch.

There were textbooks and spiral notebooks on the coffee table. A three-ring binder.

"Did Zander finally start school?" Emily asked.

"Yep. One whole year behind him. And now we are on summer session."

"We?"

"I'm in college too, believe it or not!"

Emily was silent awhile. She stared at the coffee table. She looked up to see that Ginny was staring at her. When Emily turned to look at Ginny, Ginny's face broke into a smile.

Emily smiled automatically. "She's cute," she said.

"Adorable," Brenda said. "Daddy's girl. See?" She shifted Ginny to her other arm, and looked at her. "Looks just like him."

"I have trouble thinking of Zander and Carly - getting together. I mean, she's so much older than Zander."

"You're too young for a younger man yet," Brenda said. "But someday you might appreciate one."

"I don't know."

As Emily was leaving, she passed Carly and Bobbie's door. She stopped and knocked.

They were both home. She allowed Bobbie to make a fuss over her. Bobbie had not seen her in awhile.

Carly was sitting at the table, reading. It looked like she was reading a textbook.

"Hello," Emily said, slowly, "Are you studying, too?"

"I'm taking interior decorating classes," Carly answered.

"I went to see Zander," Emily said. "Your baby daughter was there. I never thought he'd be the father of your daughter. I'm so amazed."

"So am I," Carly said.

"How?" Emily asked.

"The usual way," Carly answered.

"I know, I mean, I guessed," Emily said. "How though? Were you together, or what?"

"He was my bodyguard for awhile."

"Oh, so it was just -just - just a."

"An affair. And I was reckless. But after you have the baby you can't think of it that way. I wouldn't have it any other way now."

"Oh."

"Can I get you a cup of tea?" Bobbie asked. Emily looked pale.

"Did he tell you his mother came up? Ginny's grandmother," Carly said.

"No, he wasn't there. Just Brenda Barrett."

"I can't believe he did that again!" Carly addressed this complaint to Bobbie.

"Leave it alone, Carly," Bobbie said. "You could use the free time you get when your kids are with their fathers."

"She said he was at work," Emily said.

"I just don't see why he can't bring Ginny down here. It would be so easy. Rather than leave her with that witch."

"The wit-Brenda is fine with the baby," Bobbie said. "I'll drop in for a minute, in a little while."

"Ugggghhh!" Carly fumed. "I can't believe she hasn't moved on to whatever millionaire playboy awaits her! When will she disappear again?"

"She's been here awhile," Bobbie said. "Devil you know is better than the one you don't."

"All right, mother," Carly said. "So how is school, Emily?"

"I haven't gone yet," Emily said.

"You've been in rehab this whole time?'

"Yes."

"That accident really put a halt to your life."

"It did, but it's over now."

"Do you feel back to normal?" Bobbie asked. "Can you walk like you could before?"

"Yes," Emily said. "I can hardly believe it when I remember back to when I first got there."

"That must be scary, not to be able to walk," Carly said.

"Yes."

"I'll be right back, Emily, stay put," Bobbie said.

"I can hardly picture Zander with a baby," Emily said.

"I was worried for awhile, too," Carly said. "But I knew it would work out when he came to my hospital room, and I remember, I said, 'she's over there' and he went over and looked down, and she grabbed his index finger. You know, how newborn babies do? Their hands automatically close back up. And I saw him looking at her and I knew he was a goner, and that little girl would come first with him, over any, any - well, you know, like that bitch upstairs."

"What do you mean, Carly? Sonny's still with you, right?"

"Sonny? Oh, yes. I mean with Zander."

"She's up there studying with Zander? What's that got to do with Zander and Ginny?"

"She's studying, all right. It's _what_ she's studying that's the problem," Carly answered.

"What?"

The door opened. "He's home already," Bobbie said to Carly, "everything's fine."

"I think I have to go," Emily said.


	17. Chapter 17

When Donna Lewis had come to Port Charles right after her granddaughter's birth, she had been pleased to find Brenda Barrett still there.

They had met on her first visit there, right after Alexander started school.

Donna had brought Alexander a new laptop computer and said she wanted to do anything she could to help him through college. She had her family money, she pointed out, and his college fund had been untouched. His father controlled all that, she said, but might be prevailed upon to open it up for him.

Alexander explained he had already refused when his father had, to his surprise, said he would help him with college.

Donna learned that Brenda had met Cameron. Brenda told Donna she had had similar problems with her father, who preferred her elder sister, who was more responsible and more educated and more talented. But Brenda thought Cameron was much worse, very cold, so cold she said, she had suggested to Cameron's face that perhaps he wasn't Alexander's father. "Anyway, I refuse to recognize him as his father," Brenda had said. "Sort of the same way the world wouldn't recognize Communist China."

Donna had turned pale at first, but then she laughed.

Donna often saw Alexander smile at the crazy things Brenda said. She was a decade older, and she was a famous model, and Donna at first felt cautious, but it appeared that they got along, had some things in common, and Donna could see that her son was happy. Donna did not believe she could remember that he had ever been that happy before. She couldn't quite understand how he made Brenda happy, but Brenda was interested in him, and talked to Donna about him, not about herself, as one might have expected.

At one point, alone with her, Donna came out and asked her how she felt, and Brenda smiled and said he was easy to talk to, they just got along, and she couldn't put her finger on it, they just hit it off and had a common outlook. She said she cared about him very much, adding, to Donna, "Don't you _too_ start sounding like you don't think much of your own son."

"Oh, no," Donna said. "It's not that. I could believe some ordinary girl would really care for him."

"I have my ordinary moments," Brenda said. "Or maybe Zander has more extraordinary ones that you might think. I guess you got an earful of Cameron's opinion. My father always thought my older sister was perfect and compared me to her, unfavorably, in front of me, failure, and my mother - " 

"Your mother?"

"Is in a psychiatric institution. Very serious problems. Very."

"Much worse than mine."

"Much more. So you can imagine how glad I am you can be more reassuring to Zander, now. He was really happy when you said you were proud of him."

"I'm sorry you don't hear that from your parents," Donna said.

"She almost got me all teary eyed for myself," Brenda said, describing this conversation to Zander later, in bed, after making love to him. She loved the way they could talk about anything, any time. He was so easy going that way.

"Do you ever talk to your sister?" he asked.

"Yes, every now and then."

"Does she love you?"

"Yes." 

"Maybe _she's_ proud of you."

"Yes. And I have a lot of really good friends."

"I've heard you talking to some on the phone, but they don't seem to be around."

"I've got you, too."

"You do. Have you ever talked to your mother?"

"Not since I was a little girl. She must be so bad off that it would do no good, anyway. She wouldn't know me."

"With your father gone, who keeps tabs on her?"

"Her brother. I should do more about it."

"Why doesn't your sister?"

"She's got a different mother."

"Whoah, I didn't realize that. Is her mother still alive?"

"No, she died before our father married my mother."

"Still, your sister is older - maybe she remembers your mother? She was her stepmother."

"She does remember a little bit, but I already know all she knows, and mostly it isn't so pleasant - it's evidence she was going crazy."

"I'm sorry."

"I think your mother is OK with me but she still wondered why the fashion model wants her young son, and so on. I think I'm the only one who knows you!"

"They don't understand that I am good for your education. And a spur to your vocabulary."

She had laughed and kissed him, and hugged him, rolling over and pulling him on top of her, and giggling and kissing him some more.

When Donna had come back after Virginia was born, she had been still happier Brenda was there.

Cameron had apparently celebrated the occasion by telling Alexander that normally people grew up and got jobs and got married to the mother of their child before the child was born. That was the usual plan. Alexander never had a plan, and had therefore been blindsided into early fatherhood. And he was now with yet another woman. Who knew but that this one wouldn't drag him into fatherhood too? She was of a similar age.

Alexander told Cameron that he did have a plan, which was: that his daughter was never going to be subjected to Cameron or his attitude. Cameron could forget ever talking to or seeing Virginia.

Brenda had supported this decision of Alexander's.

Virginia's mother had at first resisted, saying that Ginny therefore had no grandfather. Her father, it appeared, was completely unknown. Her mother had, at the time of her conception, been a "working woman." This was going to be tough enough to explain to Virginia one day. If Cameron wanted to be a grandfather, why not?

Brenda had the bright idea to have Carly meet Cameron.

After spending ten minutes with Cameron, Carly was on Alexander's side.

When Donna had learned all this, she was relieved. She still hated the idea of talking to Cameron and had vowed she would never be alone with him.

Brenda and Alexander said he lurked about town. They ran into him from time to time. Cameron knew where Alexander lived and dropped by every once in awhile to offer a snide comment.

Donna appreciated the warning and said she'd look about her to avoid him.

Donna had found she could get along well with Virginia's mother and her other grandmother. The other grandmother, Bobbie, was especially kind and easy to talk to. She was a nurse at the hospital, and in talking to her Donna learned that she had managed to rise out of a life of poverty, in which she had resorted to prostitution, to become an R.N. She had put Carly up for adoption, but had the luck to reunite with her when Carly had come to Port Charles looking for her. Her adoptive mother, Virginia Benson, had died, and so of course Carly had named her first daughter after her.

Donna was intrigued and asked how their relationship was, and if Bobbie felt like she was able to be a real mother after not having raised her daughter.

Bobbie said she couldn't of course, entirely have the same relationship with her daughter that she would have otherwise had, but that blood must be thicker than water, because she could still see herself in her daughter even though others had raised her, and that she took an interest in everything concerning Carly, and that she was really glad fate led her to be able to be a real grandparent to her grandchildren.

Donna wondered aloud if it could be like that with a father, or if it was only that way for mothers. Bobbie, not sure what Donna was getting at, merely speculated that maybe it was possible that a man could take such an interest in his child, but men were different. Donna smiled and agreed.


	18. Chapter 18

David Hayward was a doctor at Pine Valley Hospital in Pine Valley, Pennsylvania. He had recently gotten another one of those disquieting reminders from an old flame.

When David had been an intern in St. Petersburg, Florida many years previously, he had a colleague named Cameron Lewis.

The young interns and their wives had socialized, of course. David was single back then he was again now, but that was because of his recent third divorce.

Cameron Lewis was a demanding and domineering sort, and as often happens with such fellows, his wife was a passive and retiring sort who gave into him rather than argue with him.

She was not a very lively woman, but very pretty. Soon David fancied himself in love with her.

He and Donna Lewis had their affair in his office and in hotel room until it finally died a natural death arising out of her fear of getting caught and her unwillingness to give up her marriage, something David had wanted her to do at the time, not seeing any real advantage in it to her.

But she didn't. She was too afraid. One thing was, she was sure her husband would take her toddler son, Peter, from her.

David had gone out to California, and become associate director of cardiology at Stanford at the age of 32. Then he went to Pine Valley Hospital in Pine Valley, Pennsylvania to give a lecture on cardiac care. He had gone there because one of the doctors was a former girlfriend form Stanford, who had left there after she had broken off with him, citing his overly numerous affairs as the reason she no longer wanted to be with him.

He had been lucky to learn that the position of head of cardiology was open at Pine Valley Hospital. He recommended himself. Dr. Joe Martin, the chief of staff there, had looked into David's impressive credentials and hired him.

While at Stanford, David had received the first of the letters.

In it, Donna explained that the timing of her second's son's birth bothered her, that her husband suspected nothing, thank God, but now her son was about 3, and she felt convinced only by looking at him that he was David's. She did not expect or even want David to do anything about this, but wanted him to be forewarned in the unlikely event something happened and family medical history became necessary to know. She was afraid Cameron would kick her out if he figured it out, and deprive her of Peter, and she was worried what might happen to Alexander in such an event, or what would happen to Alexander if anything happened to her and Cameron figured it out. She asked David to take an interest in the boy if anything ever happened to her.

Once, about 7 years later, David had visited the St. Petersburg area again, and looked up the Lewises. Cameron was home, and Donna was not. David asked how Peter was and if they had any more children. Luckily for David, Cameron had then gone and called the boys to be introduced to him.

David thought Cameron might know or be suspicious, because he proudly introduced the 12-year-old Peter, going on about his accomplishments, and offhandedly introduced the 10-year-old Alexander. Cameron went on about Peter's tennis playing, and looked a little put out when David asked Alexander to show him the tennis courts.

David had stayed a little while, and asked both the boys questions, trying to make it look natural by asking as many of Peter. He didn't remember Peter's answers. He learned that Alexander liked to wind-surf and swim and play baseball. Alexander didn't like school much, which David put down to boyish attitudes. He had never been that crazy about school either, though he had done well.

From there he had gone to his mother's to look at some of the old pictures. Seeing his old boyhood photos, he had the uncomfortable thought that he agreed with Donna.

He called the Lewis house about a month after that, and got Donna. He asked Donna if she was home alone. Donna was paranoid enough to want to go out before she talked to him.

She had gone somewhere and called him from a pay phone. He explained that he thought they should keep in touch, just in case anything happened to Alexander. The boy was healthy, but you never knew, David said, asked her if she would send him a picture or maybe even a blood sample.

Donna had been too terrified to do the latter, as she could hardly get Alexander's blood without his knowing it, and he might end up telling Cameron about it innocently, and Cameron would know something was wrong if his own son had a blood test he was not aware of. He might not have much time for his sons, but he did keep track of their health. But she did sent a school picture to David.

This last disquieting missile had been to the effect that Donna had her first grandchild and that it was not the older son who had given her this grandchild, but Alexander, her younger (his, their) son.

David had no other children and was somehow touched that he had a granddaughter. That Alexander was biologically his son was something he had become relatively certain of over the years.

In her letter, Donna had said that she had left Cameron. David thought this was rather good news, as they might be able to talk more freely, and maybe even establish the truth for sure, so that nobody's medical history was mistaken.

Donna had given him her cell phone number, so he could call her if he wanted to. David called her and learned Donna was nervous about telling Alexander, but vowed she would get up the nerve to do it. She had some help, in that apparently Alexander had a girlfriend now, and this girl had an idea Cameron was not Alexander's father from the mere observance of Cameron's treatment of Alexander. She talked about it like it was a joke, and wishful thinking maybe, as her own father was similar and maybe she had fantasies of finding she had a real father who was someone else.

David had noticed Cameron was rather pointedly prouder of and more affectionate to the older son on the day he had visited, but had put it down to it being only one day and therefore not representative of the whole of their time together, and the natural bond that might be stronger with an eldest son to a man like Cameron.

But the second-hand opinion of this unknown girl gave David a great deal of unease. In talking to Donna, it began to sound like that day was not only typical, but mild. David began to wonder if he should have stepped in.

But then, how could he have? He realized it had always made sense, on the surface, to leave things as they were. Even if Cameron knew, he was in a better position to be Alexander's father. David had been in California, a continent away. It could always be difficult for a child who lived in a house with a stepfather, where the stepfather was the father of the child's younger brothers and sisters. It would be much harder, David had thought, where you were the younger, where it was not so much part of the natural course of things in a society with a high divorce rate.

He had done the best he could, he thought. He wondered what he should do now.


	19. Chapter 19

**Part 19 PG-13**

"I don't know for sure what she wanted," Brenda said. "I let her in sort of automatically. My hospitality training took over. Then I had to explain Ginny, and came up with nothing more brilliant than the truth."

"Don't see why you think you should have done anything else," Zander said. It was late evening, and Ginny was in bed.

"The upshot is, she was shocked to see Ginny. She'd already seen her somehow, and asked me what Carly's daughter was doing here. She turned very pale and stopped cold, when I told her Ginny was yours. She knows you are in school, and me too, and expressed her great surprise again that you should have a child with Carly, because Carly is so much older than you."

"And what did she think of my new girlfriend, then?" he said, with a mischievous smile, coming over to where she sat on the couch and massaging her shoulders.

"I'm not sure she knows," Brenda said. "I figured Ginny was enough material for her to absorb for now, and she didn't ask me what I was doing here. I believe she thinks I'm the maid."

He leaned down and kissed her neck. "Let's not think about her."

"I wonder sometimes."

"What do you wonder sometimes?"

"That I'd never give up what I've got - a man I can talk to about anything, who can talk to me about anything, and my extraordinarily fantastic sex life - for so-called love."

"Me neither."

"And then I wonder which is love - you, or them?"

"You mean Sonny, or Jax?"

"Yeah. Emily, too."

He went back to massaging her shoulders. "I'm not going to worry about her. Mom's coming to town again."

She turned to look at him. "You aren't worried about that now, are you? You seem to get along fine with her."

"I still feel nervous. I'm afraid Dad will pop up and wreck everything."

"Come over here," she said, pulling him around the couch to sit down on it by her, "Send him to me and I'll handle him."

"I know you can handle him," he said, smiling, and pushing her hair back from her face. "It's me that is in doubt."

She leaned over and kissed him. "I love you," she whispered.

"You would really stick with me, and Ginny, even if you could have Sonny or Jax, again?"

"That's what I've been saying just now. Your attention span! I think I may win for the semester."

He laughed. "I love you," he said. He picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom. She giggled and held on.

Bobbie opened the door – someone was knocking.

"It's him again," Bobbie said. "Cameron Lewis."

"Let him in so I can tell him off one more time," Carly said. Bobbie asked him politely to sit down.

"I was talking to a lawyer," he said. "It appears I could sue you anyway. But I won't. I want to take up his suggestion that maybe we can get along."

"So this means you're going to bend?" Carly said.

"Something like that," he said, sarcastically.

"Look, you can't talk to a kid and put their parent down."

"I appreciate your long term view," he said. "Why would I put the child's parent down?"

"Because your whole parental career consists of it?" Carly guessed sarcastically.

"I don't know why you believe everything Alexander has told you, or see only his view," he said.

"Look, Dr. Lewis, Zander and I took a parenting class," Carly explained. "My lawyers suggested it. The people teaching it have experience in Family Court, and they really believe the number one problem is this. You put down the other parent to the kid, you put down the kid. Normally that applies to the parents who are split, like Zander and I, we understand not to put each other down to Ginny and respect her relationship to the other and that she's part of that other person too."

"And this is relevant because?"

"Well, in this case, it's the child's grandfather that would put her parent down. It's bad for her. Zander couldn't get out of it, but he can get Ginny out of it."

"It depends on what the court thinks," he said.

"Why do you want to see Ginny anyway?" Bobbie asked. "Given your disdain for your son, why is his daughter worth your time?"

"I don't have disdain for my son, and my granddaughter is also my descendant, young woman, and she will, with such parents, need - "

"You're doing it already! That's what I was talking about!" Carly yelled.

"You aren't concerned for your own daughter?" he asked Carly, "how do you think she is going to do with Alexander and that Brenda Barrett woman?"

Carly was silent.

Bobbie knew it was a weak point. "We can't choose the people the other parent will fall in love with," she said. "Zander doesn't like Sonny much, and he could think with better reason that it's dangerous for Ginny to be around him. Brenda Barrett is a respectable citizen. She knew how to take care of a baby. If he'd been with some girl his age, Carly might have had to spend time training him for that."

Carly looked as if she didn't think that would have been so terrible, and that Brenda Barrett couldn't have been more unnecessary on that score, and that Brenda Barrett was the last person on earth to earn the title 'Respectable Citizen.'"

She kept quiet, however.

Cameron got up to leave. "You're going to need a lot of help," he said. "Some day you'll probably come asking me for it."


	20. Chapter 20

**Part 20**

"Why didn't you tell me Zander was the father of Carly's daughter?" Emily demanded of her brother AJ. "Didn't you know?"

"I knew. I just didn't think it really mattered," was the answer. "How did you find it out?"

"I visited Bobbie and Carly," Emily said.

"Oh, well be careful over there, because Zander lives right there in the brownstone. You're just recovering. You don't need the stress of running into him."

"No," Emily said.

Later, Emily was walking along the docks and stopped, seeing Zander below, standing by an empty stroller, holding the baby, talking to Brenda Barrett.

There was Brenda Barrett again, Emily thought.

"One-tenth of a point handicap for the wisdom of age, another tenth of a point handicap for new fatherhood, and I still win 3.4 to 3.1. 3.4 to 3.3 with your handicaps."

"You're brilliant," Zander said, as he smiled down at Brenda.

Emily could not fathom what all this meant.

"We are beat, Ginny," he said to the baby. "For now. I'll study harder."

"She couldn't care less," Brenda said. "She loves Daddy, regardless of his grades. Isn't that so, Ginny?"

Ginny made a noise that sounded like agreement.

"See?" Brenda said, "And I love you too, regardless of your grades."

"You love me when my grades are lower than yours. But let's see what you say when they are higher."

Brenda caressed the baby's cheek, then his. She laughed.

"I love you whether your grades are higher or lower," he said, looking at her with passionate eyes.

She smiled up at him.

Ned was meeting Emily to take her to dinner, and he came upon her just then.

"Yeah, I don't understand either," he said, reading Emily's face. "Brenda can do so much better."

"Isn't that what you said when she was with Sonny?"

"Yes. She doesn't know how to pick 'em. No offense to you, you were a young girl under an evil influence, but with Brenda, well, by now she should know. But she gets worse instead of better. She should have stuck with Jax, of course, he was perfect for her, but she let him get away."

"I think a woman like that could have anybody, and could find somebody perfect again, even if she let Jax get away."

"Yes, you would think that a woman like that could do that rather than hang out with some kid ten years younger who got himself a baby to boot!"

"How long has she been with him?"

"Around a year, it seems. Plus she's had to deal with his father, and his mother, and well, they are no picnic either, it looks like. All I can tell is she has stuff in common with him there. Her parents are like his, is the impression I get from her."

"I don't know anything about his parents. Aren't hers dead?"

"Her father is. I'm not sure about her mother."

"I guess she'll be moving on sometime. She always does."

"Of course. I hate to see her waste her time, though."

Donna Lewis checked into the Port Charles Hotel. She called David Hayward and told him she was there. She called Alexander to tell him she was there. She got voice mail and left a message. She called Brenda Barrett on the chance she might be in the hotel and might want to go to dinner, but got voice mail also. She left a message. Then she went downstairs for dinner.

She had just sat down, when she felt someone looking down on her. She looked up to see Cameron.

"May I sit down?" he sneered.

She got up instead and walked into the hallway, but he followed her. There were only a few people there, but she felt cornered, as though alone. "I don't want to talk to you," she said. She was nervous. She didn't want to make a scene in the lounge or somewhere – she knew he wouldn't, but was afraid he might get her upset.

"I see you're up here again," he said. "How many times have you been to Switzerland?"

"You've been there!" she said. "Over and over. Why can't I try to balance that out?"

"You don't care about your son who was shot and paralyzed?"

"Yes, I do. You don't care about your son who accidentally shot his brother and is devastated by that?"

"As it happens, I have been here."

"Making yourself even more unwanted, I understand," Donna said, boldly. "Why can't you show any affection, any understanding for your own son?"

All of a sudden, it seemed, Brenda was at her elbow. "Good question," she said, to Donna. "I got your message when I stepped out of the shower. It must have been about a minute after you left it."

"I can try," Cameron said, going on with their conversation as if Brenda had not come up. "But it's kind of hard to do, you understand. As it should be for you. When he shot _my_ son!"

Donna froze in terror, thinking that, phrasing it like that, he must know. How could he have found out and how long he had known was running through the jumble in her mind when she saw Brenda step up to him and hit him. She slapped him right across the face.

Donna was stunned, but sort of glad too. She'd never had that kind of spirit.

"How dare you talk like that?" Brenda asked. "As if he's not your son too?"

Donna, having an ally, felt emboldened. "And as if he's not Peter's brother, that Peter loves?"

"Peter is good, kind, and responsible," Cameron said. "More than me. That's why he forgives him, and would let him get away with it."

"It was an accident, Cam!" Donna cried, appalled that he would talk as if it wasn't.

"Of course it was," Cameron went on. "That irresponsible, impetuous, fool wouldn't pay attention to what he was doing"

"You really believe all this?" Brenda asked.

"I know my own son," he said.

"Then how come you let him have a gun?" Brenda asked. "You knew all this, yet you got him into a dangerous sport like that? Maybe you're the greater fool."

"Don't try blaming it on me!" Cameron yelled.

Brenda could see that she had gotten him "Why did you get your kid into a sport like that, when you knew he was impetuous, irresponsible, and all those other delightful adjectives?" Brenda pressed the point.

"He was trained in all the safety rules!"

"Then it was either an accident that could have happened to anybody, or it was you who didn't get that one training session wasn't going to change your son's entire personality and _that's_ irresponsible, and - "

"Stop!" he thundered. "Enough from you, you - "

"Enough for you?" Brenda laughed. "Too bad. I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? What a laugh! You don't stop when you're past enough for Zander, you keep it up."

"Why did you do that, Cam?" Donna asked. "Put Alexander in that position and then let him leave home, when he'd just done a thing like that?"

"Where were you?" he sneered.

"That's not the point," Brenda said. "Is it?"

He walked off.

Brenda knew she'd gotten to him, though.

"That must be eating at him," she said to Donna, still watching him walking off, "for years. He made the mistake."

"He'll never be able to deal with himself making a mistake," Donna said.

"Let's go," Brenda said. "Get something to eat. We can talk about him as long as we want."

"I have to admire you, Brenda," Donna said, when they had sat down in the Port Charles Grill. "I think you shut him up. I've never seen that done before. You drove him away. He always has the last word. He's always right."

"He's insufferable!" Brenda exclaimed. "But I didn't do it alone, in fact, he's always had the last word with me too, or if I did, I only got it walking away."

"I've made so many mistakes," Donna said.

"Don't be hard on yourself. The way he talks is inexcusable! Really, I can't get over it!"

"I should've realized," Donna said. "I thought it was best for them both - and for Peter that I stay with Cam."

"You thought of leaving him when they were children?"

"I did. I was sure he'd take Peter – you know, get custody, and with my history, he could have."

"But you think he'd have fought for custody of only Peter?"

"Yes," she said. "I'll explain it more, later."

Brenda was curious. But she didn't press it, since Donna said she'd explain it, and trying to press her now might move her farther away from wanting to talk.

"You can tell me whatever you want to, Donna."

Donna took her hand. "Thank you, dear," she said.

There was a knock at Carly and Bobbie's door. "Hi, Zander, come in," Bobbie said. He often dropped by when to see the baby whenever Carly was staying with Bobbie.

He had his backpack. He set it down. 

Carly was coming into the room with the baby just then. "Letitia took Michael to the park," she said, conversationally. "I just changed Ginny. You always have such perfect timing, don't you?" She smiled, though, and handed Ginny to him.

Carly sat on the couch, and watched Zander – he put Ginny on the floor under her mobile toy, watching her bat at the shapes that hung from it. He lounged on the floor next to her, easily, relaxed, and Carly thought again how there were advantages to young fathers. They could jump up and down and run around easily.

"Your father was here again," Bobbie said, willing to be the bearer of bad news rather than Carly.

But Zander didn't get too upset. He watched Ginny's kicking legs. "He makes it all so negative," he said, still watching her. "Like she's a bad thing to have happened. How can anybody think she's a bad thing? Maybe it is because he doesn't see her." He thought for a minute. "Nah, he's too toxic. Seeing her wouldn't shut him up."

"He said something about how he won't sue us in court," Carly said.

"Which means he will."

"You think so?" Carly said, her voice rising a little.

"Maybe the two of you can go see that lawyer," Bobbie said. "Why go on his word about what he can do in court?"

"That's a good idea, Bobbie," Zander said. He looked at Carly.

"OK, I'm for that," she said.


	21. Chapter 21

**Part 21 NC-17**

Zander went up from Bobbie's to his own place upstairs. He called Brenda to ask her if she wanted to study.

"Economics or European History?" she asked.

"European History and Biology."

"We're not taking Biology!"

"We still need to study it."

She laughed and said she would be over in a little while.

"Your Mom is at the PC Hotel," she said when she got there.

"Oh, wonder why she didn't come over."

"You haven't answered her call yet."

He checked his cell phone messages and listened to the one from Donna. He called her while Brenda got a book out of her backpack, and a magazine.

"She'll come over tomorrow, to Bobbie's," he said, turning the phone off. "She said she'll come later to wait for me to be home."

"That's nice," Brenda said. "We had dinner together."

He smiled.

"We ran into the ogre."

He face fell. "Is she all right?"

"Sure. Between the two of us we got rid of him."

"Was he threatening to sue to see Ginny?"

"Nope. Not on the subject of Ginny at all. He threatened to sue? Can he do that?"

"He told Carly and Bobbie that – Carly and I are supposed to go to ask a lawyer if he has any rights."

"Good idea. Maybe he's bluffing. Or full of it."

"He's full of it, all right."

"Here, look at something fun to get your mind off of him. A magazine I wanted you to see."

He paged through it. She watched rather than tell him what the specific thing was. 

"What is it?"

"You'll see when you find it."

It was one of those women's magazines, with articles on how to drive a man crazy in bed ("this magazine isn't where you learned that," he said), photos and articles on how to lose weight and what make-up was best for each kind of face and what the latest in clothing fashions were.

"Men faking orgasms," he read.

Brenda was giggling. "That's not it."

"Good, because this article is ridiculous."

"It backs up the premise!"

"It only gives examples from guys who could be fictional!"

"There's some doctors further in," she said.

"It is total baloney."

"For you it is."

"Oh, I see why you have this magazine," he said, turning the page "it's the ad for Deception, and the model therein."

"Really, let me see that!"

"You didn't realize your picture was in here? Come on, Brenda, baby."

"No! That ad is in a lot of those magazines."

"The ads are the reason for the magazine, they want the readers to think they need to buy make-up or whatever else is advertised in here, and they wouldn't believe they needed all that unless they could be convinced they are insecure, and that they have a lot of fictitious problems, like their men faking orgasms."

"You paid attention in Sociology 72, didn't you?"

"I got a B, so I must have." He turned a few more pages. "OK, here are a bunch of Hollywood babes, actresses and such. Oh, with their younger men. Case after case. Makes it look like a trend."

"See?"

"You're not in here."

"I'm not that famous!"

"But you're trendy."

"No! But I want you to see it's not unheard of."

"Well, this proves it is heard of in Hollywood, but then anything is heard of there."

"Still, it's encouraging, don't you think?"

"It's a very good sign," he grinned, throwing the magazine down. He went over to where she was sitting and leaned over her chair to kiss her. He sat on the floor at her feet. "It does come from a bad source. If it's the same kind of bull as the rest of that magazine is, we'll have to look elsewhere for confirmation."

She stroked his hair a little while, smiling. "I like your sense of humor," she said. "And your positive outlook. You don't get either of those from Cameron."

"We gotta keep him out of Ginny's face," he said, serious all of a sudden. "If he must be in her life, she needs inoculation against his negativity."

She kissed him again, long and slow. "You're wonderful," she said.

"So are you," he said. "You're so smart. In fact, you're so knowledgeable about European History, I think you can skip that for tonight and go right to biology."

"Yeah," she said. "biology, that's what we need more studying on."

"Ahhh," Brenda moaned, holding onto him, laying on her back, taking a deep breath. "Studying isn't always boring."

He laughed, steadying himself on his elbows, as he lay on top of her, thrusting into her at a moderate pace. Her hips rocked up toward him with each one; they had worked out a perfect rhythm. "I guess a lot of this went on in European history," he said.

"I don't think that it will be on the test," she got out, before she sighed out at a new wave of sensation. Soon he was moving faster, his breathing coming faster, and she felt the mounting excitement. She moved her legs apart as she yelled and breathed and moaned and finally reached a climax, with a shuddering sigh.

"You took your time with that," she said to him. "I'm making you into an expert."

"You sure are." He moved off of her and traced around her nipples with his finger, going from one to the other, and moving his hand down across her stomach. "I'm an expert on you, if not on European History."

"You're both."

"Maybe I'm not such an expert on you. I don't know much about you really."

"You will find out eventually."

"Yeah," he said, "I guess. I'll take my time. We have the present, and I can tell a lot about you from that. Then I have something to look forward to. I'm sure there are many rather fascinating things to find out."

"Hmmm. Maybe. Have you got to talk to your brother again?"

"Yeah. Thanks for asking, Brenda."

"I'd like to meet him."

"He wants to find a couple of weeks to come over here. He can't wait to see Ginny."

"Uncle Pete! Maybe he will help you."

"With?"

"He's closer to Cam, so maybe he can get Cam to back off."

"I don't know. I think Dad just pressures him. He doesn't have an influence with Dad. He used to try to get Dad to let up on me. Dad listens to him then ignores him – I think he really does ignore Pete too, in reality. He may not think so, but he does."

"Did you ever know your grandfather?"

"No, why?"

"One of the first times I talked to him I got some idea his father – Cam's father – treated him with the same cold meanness."

"He doesn't talk about his own father much."

"What about the grandmother?"

"She died when I was small. But enough of these questions. Now you tell me about your grandparents."

She kissed his shoulder. "Mine are all dead except one, my father's mother, who lives in an old folks home in California and doesn't recognize anybody."

"It sounds like your sister is your only rational living relative. What about the uncle that takes care of your mother's affairs?"

"That family is so – strange. They aren't all that warm. Maybe it helps explain my mother's condition. They don't contact me, and if I contact them, they are – distant, somehow, so I don't feel like I could be close to them."

"I wish your sister would come over, and I could meet her."

"Maybe we can go see her. Find some time off. We can go over to London and see the sights of some European History. And Julia."

He sat up and pulled her up and started to kiss her. "Would you? Sounds kind of fun."

"I'll make sure it's a lot of fun, my sweet," she said, with a big smile.


	22. Chapter 22

**Part 22**

Carly took Donna with her to the park, with the children. Ginny was asleep in the stroller. Donna played with Michael a little bit, pushing him on the swing for a while. He played in the sandbox later, and Donna went to sit with Carly.

"How does he like having a little sister?"

"He loves her. He's always asking about her if she's not around – is she taking a nap or is she upstairs with Zander. He shows her things every once in awhile. He showed her his matchbox car he had been playing with. She sort of looked at it. He seemed happy with that. He said she could play with it when she is old enough."

Donna smiled. "Sweet," she said.

"Your other son is going to visit, I've heard?"

"Yes."

"How did he get along with Zander?"

"Well. Very well."

"Does he care about Zander much, do you think? I'm worried, because Zander never mentioned him to me, and I've known him awhile."

"Yes, he does. You don't need to worry about him resembling their father," Donna said. "Peter is a kind man."

Carly sighed. "I'm glad. I don't think I can take another relative like Zander's father. I don't understand why Cameron doesn't like Zander, I mean, can you possibly not like your own child? And even if you didn't like them, wouldn't you love them, if that makes any sense?"

"He's a strange man," Donna said. "I guess I always knew that."

"Was he nicer when you married him?"

"A little. He knows how to be charming."

"But you sound like you don't think he really is. Or that he really has any good feelings."

"He loves Peter."

"I can't believe it. If he really loves Peter, why doesn't he love Zander?"

"I'm not sure he doesn't love Zander, in his way."

"His way is not to my taste," Carly said.

Donna smiled. "Don't let him get you down, dear," she said, kindly.

"Talking to psychiatrists helped me a little bit," Donna was saying to Alexander. "It might help you. Having something like the hunting accident happen – well, that could set anybody into a tailspin."

"I never look at it that way," Zander said.

"How do you look at it, dear?"

"I made a big mistake, Pete paid for it."

"It was an accident, though. Chance. Pete could have accidentally shot you or you could have accidentally shot your father or a stranger."

Brenda put her hand over her mouth.

"What?" Zander said, his eyes lighting up at her. "What are you laughing at?"

"It's too smart-ass, unkind," she said. "I have these thoughts. Just a sick joke."

By now, he was smiling broadly, "tell me."

"I was just thinking that if I had ever shot Cam – well, that might not be an accident."

"I know Brenda is joking about shooting," Donna said, with a smile, "but she did hit him. She walloped him good."

"She did?" His eyes lit up a little more.

"Yeah," Brenda said sheepishly. "I'm expecting him to file charges. It'll be worth it, though."

"He must have looked so shocked anybody would do that to him."

"He did look rather put out," Donna said.

"Mom, he always looks put out."

"Surrounded by all us stupid plebeians," Brenda added.

"One of the things I love about her is her sophisticated vocabulary," Zander told Donna, putting an arm around Brenda.

"She is very intelligent," Donna said. "And gutsy, too."

Brenda was in her suite at the PC Hotel, stretched out on the couch, studying from an Economics textbook. "Deflation occurs when prices decline over time. Inflation occurs when money becomes relatively less valuable than goods. Deflation, therefore, occurs when money becomes relatively more valuable than goods."

She put the book down. "Huh?" she said, to the ether.

Her cell phone rang.

She picked it up and looked at it. It was her sister.

"Hi, Julia," she answered.

"How's it going, Brenda?"

"Oh, fine."

"Are you still in school?"

"Yes, Julia, amazing, isn't it?"

"I didn't mean anything by it."

"OK. I'm doing the summer session."

"I think it's a great idea you decided to do that."

"It's not just an idea now."

"Of course not."

"Julia, I was thinking of coming over to see you later in the summer. And Zander wants to meet you."

"I wouldn't mind meeting him. I still think he's too young for you, though."

"You oughta try it!"

"Try what?"

"A younger man, Julia! It would liven you up."

"I leave the liveliness to you. That's your department."

Brenda laughed. "OK."

"I don't know whether to think this Zander is a good influence or a bad one. He's so much younger than you, yet it's he who has the baby. Sounds irresponsible. On the other hand, he is going to school and he somehow has you going to school."

"Julia! Really! Since he's younger, could you at least give _me_ the credit for being a bad influence on _him_?" 

"All right," Julia laughed. "I'll bet you are a _very_ bad influence."

"How are you doing? Still seeing Simon?"

"On and off. I found out Jax is in London."

"Oh." 

"I'll tell you if I see him."

"It's of no interest to me."

"Well, maybe you could still be friends. Meet new friends of his, you know, his circle would still be perfect for you."

"I'm underwhelmed."

Julia laughed. "A late rebel phase, eh, Brenda? All right. Have your fling."

"I love Zander and it's not a fling. And he's done more for my education than anybody."

"Well, I'll say that for him."

"When you meet him will you please keep these comments to yourself? I know you will find it very difficult to keep all your wisdom to yourself, Julia, but -"

"I'll try!"

"No mentioning of Jax and his stupid circle, do you hear?"

"Not a word."

"OK. Well, I gotta study this Economics. It is not easy stuff! Love 'ya."

"I love you too Brenda. Talk to you soon."


	23. Chapter 23

**Part 23**

Zander let Donna in. She was carrying the baby.

"I stopped in to see Virginia," Donna explained. "Carly said go ahead and bring her up here for awhile."

"Oh, that's good," he said, letting them in.

Donna sat down on the couch, and put Ginny in the baby carrier that sat there. He had his own.

"I have something to ask of you, Alexander," she said.

"Shoot," he said. "Anything you want."

"You know how nowadays the medical profession knows so much more, and that you can inherit illnesses and you need to know your family history."

"I guess so."

"You need to know who your biological parents are. Like Carly does now. She was adopted."

"Yeah, she was. By Virginia Benson, that's where Ginny got her name."

"Well, I need, for you, Alexander, to get a blood test done."

"We had it done already."

"What?"

"We had one done. Carly was always sure, but she knew I had some doubts, so she insisted on the blood test, and I thought it was a good idea, and we got the test, which was positive, so I know I'm Ginny's father."

"Oh, that's good. That's a good thing to know, if you had doubts," Donna said, feeling flustered. She took a deep breath. "But," she said, touching his arm, "I need to have one done on you. You and someone else."

He stared at her. She let him have some time for this to sink in.

He got up. "Me?" He walked across the room. "You mean you think that I -?"

Donna nodded, nervously.

"You?" he said, a minute later. "I never thought you would. I mean, you and some – what did Dad do?"

"He doesn't know at all. Nothing. He doesn't know I even suspect."

"Who?"

"A colleague of your father's, another cardiologist."

Zander paced across the room. He walked back and sat down next to her.

"It doesn't make any difference now, Mom," he said. "I don't think we need to get into it."

"If it's true it makes a difference to what your medical history is. To what Virginia's medical history is."

Zander looked at the baby. He took her little hand and looked at her for a moment.

"OK," he said. "But what about this – guy, what if he doesn't want to do it?"

"He does. He wanted to years ago, but I was too scared. I'm sorry, Alex, I should have done it for your sake. But we were always in touch. In case something happened to me, and your father found out, I was afraid of what your father might do if he figured it out. He went to the house – he saw you. I wasn't home. He called later and asked for your picture and for your blood sample. I sent him the picture but I was afraid to get the blood sample done. You were about 10, and so you might have asked questions or told your father if he asked you what you did that day. And he always kept track of your health records and would have known something was up if I was the one who initiated a blood test."

Zander was quiet, taking this in. He stared.

Donna felt awful.

"I'm sorry, Alexander," she said.

He hugged her. "I'm not," he said. "It really doesn't matter anyway."

"It's not your fault," Donna said. "Everything was in such a fog to me then. I never knew what to do, and was certain that if I left Cam, it would separate both you and me from Peter for good."

"You did the best you could."

"I know it must be upsetting," she said. "I guess I intended never to tell you. But now that seems unreasonable, now that we have this little girl, we need to know her real family medical history."

"It's OK, Mom, really. And I still could be Dad's, anyway, right? If Dad didn't suspect anything, it must be possible."

"Possible, but I think it is more likely it is David, and I didn't want to think so, believe me, I didn't. I knew it was possible, but you – well you look like David. And he thought so too."

"He saw me but I didn't see him?"

"No, he talked to you, but you may not remember, it was only once, and you were a kid."

"You weren't home?"

"No. Your Dad was there, and Peter. David had moved out of town, and he was in town for a visit then, and went to see you, which was easy, because he and Dad had been colleagues, we had all been friends, of course. So he just went to visit Dad, and asked about Peter, and if we'd have any other children. So your father just called you boys up, luckily for David, and he was able to see you. Then when I talked to David later, on the phone, he thought like me, that you took after his family."

"I remember."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I remember the guy. He asked me about stuff. I remember him talking to me more than Pete and that was so strange that I remember him for it. I mean I can hardly remember what he looked like, but I remember the other doctor visiting like that and talking to me about tennis and windsurfing and stuff like that, and it being weird that he talked to me more than he talked to Pete."

"I'm so sorry, Alex, your father was always too harsh and I should have been doing something about it. You shouldn't have had to think it was strange that anyone might pay attention to you when Peter was around. Your father got that into your head."

"Well, he worked hard at it. But you did all you could."

"I wish I had more spirit," she sighed. "Especially then, when I needed some. I should have left and fought to get custody of Peter. I never saw anything that way. I had enough spirit to love David, but it failed me when the consequences of that were so much higher, because I had Peter. If I had left when David wanted me to – it might have worked out better, and - "

"Please, Mom, cut it out. You handled it the way you handled it. You had a point. Dad would have cut us off from Pete."

"Still, I can't help but wish I'd not been so – well, that I'd been more like Brenda."

"Brenda!" Zander's face lit up. "She'll think she's brilliant! She figured it out!"

"Well, it was more of a joke to her, than anything, dear."

Zander laughed. "She's going to love it, though. You don't mind if I tell her?"

"No, if you think she can keep it quiet, until we know for sure, and decide how we want to handle your father. We may want to leave him thinking as it is."

"It might help," Zander said. "Come to think of it, it would be good, if he were to try to take us to court so he can see Ginny."

"It might," Donna said. "That would be some good to come of it, if that leaves the courts out of it."

"I've got to tell Brenda this, even though I don't totally trust her around Dad, she runs into him over at the hotel, and if he provokes her, she might say some smart-ass thing and end up taunting him with it, but that's the worse case scenario. She just deserves to be in my confidence."

"All right, but let's try to get her to keep it under wraps."

"OK." He sat thinking for a few seconds. "Mom, do you think Dad really has no idea?"

"I always thought that, but I'm not completely sure right now. When he was talking to Brenda and I that night we ran into him, he said something – I don't want to repeat it to you, but it scared me, the way he put it."

"You can tell me. He's at least honest with how he thinks about me. It can't be worse than what I'm used to."

"He has no right to treat his two children differently, or to favor one so obviously over the other. If he suspected something, he should have come out with it."

"He pressures Pete, and if he thought I was as smart as Pete is, he'd have pressured me the same way. Some ways, I had it easier."

"One reason I don't think he suspects, Alexander, is that he would have used it against me, and been able to throw me out, along with you."

"No, he wouldn't. He wouldn't want the world to know his marriage failed. He can't fail."

"No, he would never admit to that."

"He blames you entirely, I bet. When you finally left him, it probably infuriated him. He couldn't do anything about it, and to him, that makes him failure. You know how he thinks. No - wait a minute. He blames me too, probably. Probably thinks that if I only I hadn't shot Pete, and then left, you'd have stayed with him."

"No, I'm afraid he's not good at making mistakes. Another thing, dear, let's hold off and tell Carly only when we know for sure."

"You're right. No reason to get her all riled up unless it's true."

"I don't think she'll be upset. She would want to know the truth. And she'd not fond of your father either."

"Yeah, Dad just spreads sunshine wherever he goes. Does he have any friends? Pete is the only person he even tries to be nice to, and I bet he pressures Pete enough that Pete would just as soon not have him around."

"You almost sound sorry for him."

"I am, sometimes."

Donna put her arms around him. "I love you, dear. And Ginny."

Zander took Ginny out of the baby carrier and gave her to Donna. He sat down next to Donna, thinking. Donna cooed to the baby and leaned her head against Zander's shoulder.


	24. Chapter 24

**Part 24 R **

Brenda was speechless. "I had this gut feeling," was all she could say.

"It may not be true, after all," Zander said. "that's why we have to get the test done."

"Does it make you nervous, how it will turn out?"

"Not really. I think I'm still in shock."

"I wonder if you'd feel better if it turned out not to be true."

"I'd feel the same, true or not. I can't see it making any difference now. It's too late for me. But for Ginny, it may not be."

"Oh! That's put some ice on his case if he were to drag you to court."

"It might. We have to talk to the lawyer about it."

"I bet he suspected. Your mother thinks he didn't, but he must have. I can't explain his behavior otherwise."

"I know you think that," he smiled. "I love you for it." He took her in his arms and kissed her. "And for some other things, too, of course."

They were in the shower, and it was full of steam. Brenda put her arms around Zander's neck, and pressed her wet body to his. She felt his hand firmly on her lower back, the other firmly behind her neck, so she felt stable enough to wrap one let around him and open up to him. "That feels wonderful," she said, kissing him again.

They lay in bed afterward, and she asked him, "Do you feel bad that your mother cheated on Cam?"

"No," he said. "No, come to think about it, not at all."

"You're not unconditionally opposed to adultery. You had Carly!"

"Carly was a single woman! I protest that! Objection! Their saying that now is just Sonny and Carly lying to themselves about their marriage!"

"OK, I get you."

"She was a single woman!"

"OK, well, she certainly acted like one, I'm sure," Brenda giggled at his passionate advocacy.

"I wonder if this guy, David, could possibly be worse than Dad. I mean, it seems to me impossible, so that I'm just glad for Mom she had some better experience somewhere. Maybe I do feel vengeful about it. Yeah, I kind of like knowing that Dad had this happen to him. I have a feeling he almost certainly deserved it. I feel sorry for him at the same time. What a mess."

"It's confusing, all right."

"Parents! What is it with them. I hope there's some way I don't have to be like this. Poor Ginny! Maybe I'll take the parenting class again. They had some good ideas."

"It's hard to imagine them being in love, but they must have been. Why'd they get married, otherwise?"

"I can't even imagine any woman on earth wanting to marry Dad. He must have been different. And maybe it's hard to talk about later. I think I can understand. I mean, I don't like to think about good times I had with Emily, because it's painful. Do you feel like that about Jax?"

"Yeah, I think so. I feel that way about Sonny more. I left Jax so I feel a little different about the good times, in a way it is harder there, because you know you lost it of your own choice. See, so now you know Emily suffers a little more than you."

"What would I do without your greater wisdom and experience?"

"Told you older women were good for you."

"Oh, when did you tell me that? Because you didn't have to. I can figure out some things without being told, you know."

"Believe me, I know that, my love! You figure out a lot of things that don't have to be reduced to words! A lot!" She snuggled closer to him.

He ran his hands through her hair. "Your parents are like that too, baby. I wish your father had told you about your mother before she went crazy. Can't some of her family do that?"

"She must have always been somewhat crazy, I guess. I've never heard any stories of her childhood."

"But the same thing applies here as to Mom and Dad. Your father married her. He had a child with her. A very spectacular child, by the way. But he must have at least liked her for at least a week."

"Yeah. Funny how that goes. It matters, too. Now you, have to remember some good times with Carly. And try to keep yourself away from the negatives about her."

"At least I have some time. Before Ginny can talk."

"I think that time goes way faster than you think!"

He smiled.

"I have to help you," Brenda said. "Start now. No more smart aleck remarks about Carly."

"Oh, this I have to see," Zander said.

Cameron went to the airport to pick Peter up. Peter looked well, and was smiling and happy as he came out of the tunnel.

"Hi, Dad! Where's Alex?"

"I don't know. At work, or tending to his floozy or his illegitimate child."

"Oh Dad! I can't wait to see my niece. Or Mom! Or the infamous Brenda! I saw her picture on the cover of a European magazine! One of the doctor's wives showed it to me! Brenda is incredibly beautiful. What a knockout! I have to ask Alex how he managed it!"

"I don't think you'd find that kind of woman suitable."

"Oh, maybe not. Well, where shall we go?"

"The Port Charles Hotel. You can see your mother there. And perhaps the beautiful floozy, who flits about that hotel at all hours."

At another gate, Donna waited anxiously. Finally, she saw David.

"You haven't changed much," she said.

"Thanks for the flattery, Donna, but I have," he said. "You look good. Older too, but good."

"Well, thank you."

They started to walk out.

"How are things at Pine Valley Hospital?"

"OK. You don't have to make small talk."

"Thanks, but I can't think of any other."

When they got in the car, she said, "Alexander and I went up to the hospital yesterday, to give his blood for the lab."

"How is he taking it?" David asked. Now that he was here he realized how nervous he was about the whole thing.

"Philosophically. His relationship with Cam is so bad that it doesn't seem to faze him at all. He says it makes no difference to him, thought I think that may be a false front. He does it for Ginny."

"His daughter."

"Yes. Only to know your family medical history applies rather than Cam's. And there's a little issue of Cam wanting to see Ginny, and threatening a possible court case. They allow suits, at least, for grandparent visitation, in the courts these days. Alexander and Carly, Ginny's mother, are both against it, because they don't think it's good for Ginny to hear bad things about her father, which, they are sure will eventually be what Cam has to say to Ginny."

"Do you think this has something to do with this bad relationship between Alexander and Cameron, Donna? I mean, the paternity issue?"

"I don't know. Always thought it was a total secret from Cam. But blood will tell, or something? He's never breathed a word of suspicion to me. He did scare me in front of Brenda Barrett one day. Said something about Alexander shooting his son. _My_ son, he said, as if he knew Alexander wasn't his. But then Brenda Barrett had put that in his mind. She has told Cam she thought he wasn't Alexander's father or he would never treat him as he does."

"Alexander shooting who?"

"Peter. They had a hunting accident, and it happened that Peter was the one shot and that Alexander had made the shot. But it was an accident. Still Cam always seemed to use it against Alexander as though he'd done it on purpose."

"Was Alexander ever jealous of Peter getting more of Cam's attention?"

"No, it never seemed to me other than that they love each other. I wouldn't even say Alex got less attention. It was the quality of the attention. Peter doesn't hold the accident against Alexander, never has. Alexander feels terrible about it, of course, and Cam only made it worse, so that Alex just left home then. We hadn't heard from him in years. Cam may have convinced him that Peter was better off without him, I know he wouldn't have left Peter otherwise. Peter was in Switzerland anyway, at a clinic there. At first, it looked like he was going to be a paraplegic."

David took this in.

"Would you say Cam always had a preference for Peter?"

"I tried not to think of it that way. But a decided position he took was that Peter did things right and that Alexander did things wrong. Amazing Alex doesn't resent Peter more, being held up to him as the standard of perfection like that. I just feel so terrible about not doing anything. I was so totally out of it. Couldn't handle it. Even now, I don't know what I could have done, or what would be best to do. Other than keep Cam away as much as possible. The only way I have been able to deal with Cam so far is to avoid him."

"Maybe that's the best way," David reflected.

Emily's parents took her to the Port Charles Grill.

She stopped and stared as they walked in.

"What is it?" her mother, Monica asked.

"That's Peter!" she said, looking over at a table where a young man sat with an older man. "I knew him at the clinic! What a coincidence!"

"In Switzerland?" Alan said, unbelieving.

Peter saw Emily by then. He got up and went to her. "Still upright!" he said, shaking her hand. "That's good! Are you running in the 10K run by now?"

"Not quite," Monica smiled. "But she's doing much better."

Emily introduced Peter to her parents.

"And this is my father, Dr. Cameron Lewis," Peter said, taking them over to the table, where Cameron had stood up. "You remember him, Emily?"

"A little," Emily said. "Hello. I'm glad to see you, Peter! How did you end up in Port Charles!"

"I came to see a new niece I have," Peter said. "Remember I told you about my brother Alex? Well, as chance would have it, Dad found him in Port Charles! I intended to look you up later, after I've seen Alex and his new daughter."

"Oh, your brother who shot you in the accident? Is he all right?"

"Now he is, but it sounds like there were times when he wasn't. He always lands on his feet, though. I hope you can meet him, too."

"That would be nice," Emily said.

"I'm not so sure you would like it," Cameron said.

Emily did not know what to say.

"Dad's just peeved Alex became a father without all the proper formalities," Peter said. "Dad's big on the rules."

"The rules are the rules because they get things to work best," Alan said to Peter, "but we can't all follow them perfectly all the time, and we need some forgiveness."

"Very charitable," Cameron said, dryly.

"I hope so," Alan said. "We all err, don't we?"

Cameron looked as if he thought Alan must have erred a great deal.

"It was nice meeting you," Monica said. "I'm glad to know Emily had such good company when she was stuck in that clinic."

"This David guy probably has other kids," Zander was saying to Brenda. "It's probably just of medical interest to him."

"Yeah, but," Brenda said. "Wouldn't it be interesting to see him, and see what he looks like, what with Donna saying you look like him?"

"I guess."

"Well, I'd find it interesting anyway."

"That's enough for me, then!" he smiled, and massaged her neck. "If it turns out to be positive that he is -"

"Your father," Brenda said.

"Much as I don't get along with Dad, it's just too late. I can't think of anybody else as my father. I can't get around how I grew up and Dad was my father and it's too late for it to matter. I guess it's like finding out you were adopted."

"Nature or nurture, that debate," Brenda said. "The sociologists could study you. Cam thinks of you a certain way, but he's the one who raised you. Your Mom was out of it, so he did more than he might have. Every time he criticizes you, he criticizes himself."

"I'd better take about a thousand parenting classes. I hate to think that you learn to be a parent from your parents. I'll be the worst father on earth if I don't find some other way."

"You will be one of the best. I can already tell."

"Good enough for you, Miss Older Woman?" he grinned, and pulled her to him again. "I know you're going to be needing me for that if Prince Charming fails to show up soon."

"Way good enough, but you already have a kid, so that might be too much to ask."

"Surely you don't think I will sit by and let someone else get that job!" Zander said. "I got the gigolo job!"

Brenda kissed him. She pushed some hair out of his face. "I don't know," she mused. "I love you too much now, for you to get stuck in these jobs."

"Don't even think of letting me go for my own good. I don't want to see you in the Emily hall of fame. That hurts way too much."

"Oh, no, I don't think that's for your own good at all. Just, I can put off my maternal ambitions for you to have more time to know what you want. You need it, at your age."

"Quit sounding like my mother!"

"I have no intention of ever sounding like that!"

"Good. I love you," he grinned, and leaned down to kiss her.


	25. Chapter 25

**Part 25 **

Zander and Donna agreed that Donna would get the paternity test results. She would tell David what they were, and tell Zander.

Donna felt like she knew what they would be, but she was nervous when she went to the hospital to get the report. What if she had been worrying about nothing all these years? Maybe it had been wishful thinking, and that it was an illusion when she had thought her son "looked like" David Hayward.

David thought so too, and Donna thought, he couldn't have wanted to have a child he couldn't know. For David, it would be much easier if Alexander was Cameron's biological son as he was in every other way, and he hadn't had to have it haunting the back of his mind, for almost twenty years, that he had a son that he didn't know.

The idea that she might have made a big drama out of nothing was latching onto Donna's mind, and she felt sick when she got the envelope with the test results from the lab.

She went out to the little garden walk outside the hospital, and shaking, opened up the envelope.

"I felt like crying," Donna told David, starting to cry now, as she talked to David on her cell phone from the path outside the hospital. "When Alexander said he remembered you from the time you went to the house. He remembered that, because he remembered you as the only one who had ever talked to him when Peter was around."

David thought back, remembering. "I wish I had hung around more, as family friend, even if no one ever knew. Then again, that could have raised suspicion. The more I think of it, the more it sounds you may be wrong that Cameron had no idea."

"Alexander doesn't think it even matters, and he could be right," Donna said. "He doesn't envy Peter; he thinks Cameron only pressures Peter more, and so if Cam thought Alexander was smart, Alexander would have gotten the same pressure, to succeed, you know that's so big with Cam he can't see anything else."

"So if Cam thought Alexander wasn't his son, it only let off this pressure?"

"Yes. I don't think he believes Peter even has it better than he does, in his relationship to Cameron."

David thought about this for a while. "Sounds like they both could use a friend."

"I don't totally agree with Alexander, because Cam isn't so condescending to Peter, and says positive things about him. That's worth something. You can't have a father with nothing good to say about you and not have it affect you."

"Yes. That I can agree with."

They were both silent.

"Donna," he said. "Here's my suggestion; I've been thinking about it. I'll do a little write up on the family's health, and get a really basic photo album, in case he wants to see what the others look like. I'll have a pictures of me in there too, in case he doesn't want to meet with me yet, but wants to see what I look like."

"OK," Donna said. "Thank you for going easy on him, David."

"Tell him - if you think it best - I'll come over there any time to talk to him, but I'll stay away from him as long as he wants me to do that, until he might want to talk to me. Can you tell him that?"

"I will," she said.

"He must want to know about the family's health," David said. "So I'll get that for him without giving him their names, unless he wants them. I don't think my mother can be trusted with the knowledge, and my youngest half-brother I don't know well enough, but Leo and my cousin could be trusted to know about it, so if Alexander wants to know who they are, I think we could tell them about each other."

"Thanks for being so calm, David," Donna said. "I agree, what you propose is the best."

"And Cameron, I take it, nothing for now?"

"No," Donna said. "I'll see what Alexander thinks. But he can be impetuous, I don't know, being a father calmed him down somewhat, but Cam could provoke him, so you may as well be warned."

"Impetuous," David said, "OK. Yeah, I understand that. Maybe blood is thicker than water."

"Thank you David," Donna said, smiling through her tears over the phone.

Emily went to Deception with her pictures. She had done some modeling in high school. She was bored, and thought she may as well try as not.

Laura Spencer, an owner of Deception, was very kind, and looked at the pictures, and said she had a youth campaign going where she might be able to use some extra girls, if Emily was willing to be in group shots.

Emily said sure. She wasn't going to have a big ego over modeling. In fact, it sounded a lot safer than the last project she had been involved in, where the photographer had ended up putting her face on a nude model and disseminating those pictures. From then on, her parents had been adamantly against her modeling, and this might help soften their attitude.

In the halls, she saw Brenda Barrett.

"Hi," she said. "Are you out of school now, and modeling?"

"A little of both," Brenda said.

"Interesting you went back to school. I remember you dropped out, or something."

"Years ago. But now PCU and its classes are more interesting."

"Better late than never."

"Yes. That's true for you, too. Are you starting in the fall?"

"I thought I would. See if I could finally get started after that accident, and all that. Get back to where I was. So you could imagine I was glad Zander was still here."

"Why? You broke up with him."

"I still want to talk to him about all that."

"You haven't come by since the day I saw you."

"Well, I'm not sure when is the best time to talk to him."

"Me neither."

"Well, I'm sure you don't mind," Emily said. "You can't, could you, Brenda? You must be just playing around. I mean, you're not serious, are you?"

"About Zander? Well, that's private. But we have been together a while now."

"You're together?"

"Yeah."

"But you're so much older!"

"Doesn't seem to stop Zander."

"But you! He's young, he's a former drug dealer, he's a kidnapper, he's-"

"Hey, you're talking about my boyfriend!"

"Your boyfriend?"

"Yeah!"

"I don't get it, you're so much more mature than he is!"

"He's more mature than when you knew him, he's got a daughter."

"By somebody else, too! Another older woman! What a mess he's made?"

"Guess you'll want to stay away from him, then. Fine with me."

"You've got to be kidding. You would let him go for someone that loved him, wouldn't you?"

"No way, not unless he wanted to."

"He doesn't know any better. Look at the messes he gets into."

"Well, you shouldn't have broken up with him when he needed you for guidance, then."

"I don't believe you! You'd fight to keep Zander?"

"You expected a gracious pass?"

Emily shook her head. "You must be crazy," she said. "Why do you want someone that much younger? And do you really think he wants to stick with someone so much older?"

"Maybe. It happens."

"It happens, but it never lasts."

"That's up to us," Brenda said. 

Emily walked off. Brenda stared.

"Well, I promise, no more cat-fights with Carly," Brenda said to Zander, sitting down at Wang Duck's Chinese Restaurant, where they had made a date for dinner. "I don't get any credit for it, though."

"Why don't you get any credit for it?" Zander asked. "I think you should get a Congressional Medal of Honor just for thinking about trying. You know she'll pick a fight with you whenever possible."

"I'll resist."

"Not you. You've got too much spirit. You'll fight. Maybe even deck her."

"You don't sound too put out by it!"

"Carly could use a good fight every once in awhile," he grinned. "You're her only worthy opponent."

"Well, it will be easier not to fight with her, because I found another opponent. That's why I don't get credit."

"Dad?"

Brenda laughed. "Oh, right. I forgot all about Dad. Well, there's also Miss Emily Smartassermaine."

"Now there is an opponent unworthy of you!"

"I'll say. But she'll do, because I have to leave Carly alone, for Ginny's sake. And she's not so unworthy as you think! She believes I should step aside, so she can repair her break up with you. I'm so old, and you're so young and well, she wants you, so that of course we both would recognize that her whims take precedence."

"Precedence! Where did you get that one? Whims is good too. But are you imagining that?"

"Maybe. She might only want to get back with you out of competition, but you know her better than I. At first I was indulgent, being as she is young and all, but when she brought out the cat-claws about my age, well, that did it! She wants to play with the big girls, she can!"

"OK. You can train her in sharpening her claws. At least you have a worthy opponent with Dad."

"What if she does want you?" Brenda said, taking his hand.

"Forget it," Zander said. "It's not worth the use of your rapier wit."

"Rapier wit? Wow, I'm impressed."

"I try to impress you with my vocabulary. But I do have other ways."

"Don't I know it!" she grinned, and reached over for a kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

**Part 26**

Zander stayed at the library on campus to study one afternoon. Brenda had gone on to do some work at Deception.

Before he left, he stopped at Admissions to find out about a class for next semester. "Art History," he thought, "well, that'll give her an advantage, and I don't have the new father handicap. I wonder if there is anything in here that can balance it out." He flipped through the catalog and as he did this, his eye caught Emily Quartermaine talking to someone behind the counter.

Emily Smartassermaine, he thought to himself, smiling inwardly. He stared at her for a minute, seeing she looked no different, really she had put blond highlights in her hair, but she was always changing something about her hair and wondering how she could even think of trying to spar with Brenda. He felt guilty for a minute then, as he always did when he saw her or thought of her. This twinge of guilt lasted as he realized she was walking, and remembered the accident. 

It was an accident, reverberated in his brain, his mother and Brenda's voices sort of mingling in this assertion.

He watched her walk out, then followed a bit, feeling a little better to see she walked without a limp.

He stopped on the path, reminded.

He called Peter.

"I'm here, Alex!" he answered. "At the Port Charles Hotel."

"OK. I'll call Carly and make sure she's ready. I'll pick you up."

"OK. I can't wait to see you!"

"Is Dad there?"

"No, he's out, but he knows he can't come. I can't wait to see Ginny. I talked to Mom this morning. She's a little down. I haven't seen Brenda yet, but Dad says she is easy to run into, and I know what she looks like."

Zander called Carly, then walked out to the parking lot.

Emily was still there, trying to get into a car. She looked a little stiff, trying to do this. He felt the twinge again.

She saw him. "Hi," he said, carefully.

"Hi," she said.

"How are you?"

"OK."

"You can walk and drive?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad."

"Thanks."

"Brenda told me you came over once."

"Yeah."

"Did you want to talk to me?"

"Yeah."

"What about?"

"Doesn't matter now."

"Well, OK, if you're sure. How's your family?"

"Fine."

"Your boyfriend?"

"What boyfriend?"

"The one you broke up with me for."

"Oh."

"I didn't get it then, but now I know you were right. I mean, I wouldn't have my daughter or Brenda, and I guess you wouldn't have him, and all that. Well, you were right."

"I guess," she said. Her eyes filled up with tears.

"Are you all right?" he asked, guilt gripping him again, and the stress of seeing her cry wiping out his defense against the guilt of somehow being responsible for her accident. "I thought you would be happy about everything and would talk about it."

A tear dropped down her cheeks. "Never mind," she said.

She got in the car and drove away.

Zander stared after this car, wondering what was upsetting her. He thought a minute, then he realized, she must have broken up with the guy, or she'd have said something about how happy she was. He felt guilty again. How could he have just assumed that? But it must have been an even better relationship, she'd called him on the phone and told him she didn't want to see him again, all because of this guy.

Or so he had thought. Now he remembered thinking she might have been making it up like she had when she'd broken with him before.

"Damn her, she causes a lot of useless pain," he thought, remembering how awful he had felt when she'd suddenly broken up with him over her grandfather's accusations, only to later say she had never meant any of it, but had only done it so he could keep out of jail.

"I swear, if she did that again, I don't want to feel guilty," he told Brenda on the phone.

"It's so strange. One thing to lie to say you love somebody, but I've never heard of anybody doing the reverse."

"I bet I'm supposed to feel guilty right now," he said. "She gave me up for my own good and I – I swear, there better have been another guy, at least at the time she called, or I'll – I don't know what."

"Stay away from that sort of lethal personality."

"Yeah!" he laughed. "That's what I'll do. I know I kidnapped her and I might deserve it – maybe that's it – she's subconsciously punishing me for that. I'd rather go to jail, but."

"A shrink would find it all very interesting."

"Yes. And I may need one, too. Pete said Mom was looking a little down. I wonder if that has anything to do with the paternity test. I'm going to get Pete now."

"You've got too much to worry about! But you and Pete should be happy. Go over right now."

"OK, Sarg. Thank you for listening."

"Any time, my love."

"Alex!"

Pete ran up to him and hugged him. Zander laughed and hugged him back. Pete ran, no limp.

Zander felt worlds better.

"You're walking without a limp!"

"But of course! Wanna race? You look great!"

"Who cares, so long as you can walk! I feel so much better."

"It was an accident, Alex, how many times do I have to tell you? Never mind, how are you?"

"Pretty good. How are you? Are you still gonna become a therapist?"

"Yes, I had another round with Dad this morning. He accepts its as an undergraduate degree, at least. It can count for pre-med, apparently."

"How's Mom about that?"

"Oh, fine, just wants me to do what I want to do with my life. It is nice having her back, so to speak."

"Yeah, that's been a real relief. Something to be happy about," Zander said, glad that for Peter, it was that simple.

He wondered again if Donna had gotten the paternity test result. Why would she be down about it? His mind veered back and forth as to which result might get her down and why.

But maybe it had been just getting the result, period. There was no reason to be happy about it, particularly, either way. 

He wanted to go up and see her, but didn't now how to do with without Peter, and with Peter, he couldn't ask her.

"Let's go see your niece," he said.

"Hi, this is my brother, Pete, Carly," Zander was saying. "This is Carly's mother, Bobbie."

"Hi!" and "Nice to meet you" flew back and forth. Carly picked Ginny up out of the playpen and brought her over to Pete.

"Hey, aren't you a beautiful girl?" he said, laughing, trying to take her. Finally, he got a hold of her, Zander was saying, "come on Pete, you can do it. She holds her own head up now and it's way easier than it was."

"I can't imagine my little brother dealing with a newborn baby!"

"He did," Carly said. "I have some pictures to prove it."

"Good, I need those!" Pete laughed, then looked at Ginny again. She found his jacket button somewhat interesting, and pulled at it.

"Smart, too!" Pete laughed. "You can button jackets already, can't you, gorgeous?"

They sat down and played with her for awhile. Zander asked Carly about taking her for a walk; Carly agreed, and went to get the stroller.

So Peter and Zander walked through the park, with the baby in the stroller. Zander learned that Peter had two years of college behind him at a university in Switzerland. "The best school in the world for physical therapy," he explained.

Peter listened to Zander explain what he had done with his education so far, and laughed when Zander's described Brenda's role in it.

"If you've got a 3.1, you're doing just fine, Alex," Peter said. "Even Dad couldn't complain about that."

"He couldn't, but he would."

They laughed about this.

"I'm so relieved you can walk," Zander said. "For your sake, I mean, not mine."

"There's nothing to your sake, as it was an accident."

"I feel bad, still, and about Emily."

"Emily?"

"Well, this girl I went with, long before I met Brenda."

"Or Carly? You get around Alex! How do you do it?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Not so far. Nothing that lasts. No models! And no kids."

"I know that's supposed to show I'm irresponsible," Zander said. "But then now she's here," he said, patting the baby's head gently.

"Yeah, you look at her and you've got be glad," Peter sat down on a bench then, and pulled the stroller up. "Right, beautiful?" he said to Virginia.

Ginny was examining a blue baby toy, chewing on it. She looked at Pete as though she thought he might be mildly interesting. Pete made a face at her. Her face broke out into a big smile.

"There, see? She knows Uncle Pete is entertaining." He looked up. "Oh, speaking of Emily, there's one I know. Emily, come here!"

Emily was walking through the park, and she stopped and stared at Pete and Zander. Zander was quiet, knowing what he knew and they didn't.

"I didn't have a chance to tell you, Pete, but-"

"This is Alex, Emily," Pete was saying, already.

Emily turned pale, and stared harder. "This is Alex?" she finally said.

"Yeah, and this is the baby, that I was telling you about," Pete said, picking her up out of the stroller. "Isn't she adorable?"

"I've seen her before," Emily said.

"You have?" Peter looked surprised.

"Maybe Zander can explain it."

"That's me," Zander said.

"Zander?" Peter looked confused now.

"That's the name I use now, not Alex."

"Zander. But not the one you told me about, Emily, you mean, the Zander you were telling me about back in Switzerland, is, is,"

"Alex," Zander said, trying to help. "Here, let me have Ginny," he said. "This is too confusing to put that all together and hold a baby, too."

"But that can't be," Peter was saying, as Zander took Ginny, "you were talking about somebody kidnapping you, Emily, and that can't be Alex."

"Ask Alex," Emily said, nonchalantly, but her eyes welled up with tears again. "He can explain." She walked off.


	27. Chapter 27

**Part 27 NC-17**

"Are you crazy, Brenda?" Ned asked her, as they looked at reports from the record company, in its offices. "I mean, have you really lost your mind?"

She laughed. "I'm in for an anti-Zander lecture, aren't I?"

"Well, he was bad enough before, but with a baby, and a baby with _Carly_ at that, and his being younger, and so impulsive - I know he's settled down enough to go to school, but I wonder if he could pull that off without you."

"On paper, he does sound terrible."

"Off of the paper, he's got something going for him?"

"Yeah."

"I wish I understood it. I could have 'em lined up."

"Oh, I'm sure you do," Brenda said, consolingly.

"I'm glad Emily's safe from him," Ned said. "I mean, with you there, we don't have to worry."

"You sure don't!" Brenda laughed.

Zander sat half the night at Luke's Bar with Pete, telling Pete his life history from the time he'd last seen him.

"Dad doesn't know any of this, does he?" Pete asked.

"As little as possible!"

"You should've called home, though, Alex. He'd still have helped you."

"No, I can't believe that. Didn't want him to, anyway. It was when he was over in Switzerland that he realized where I was. See, Dad realized I was the one Emily talked about. You didn't, because you don't assume the worst."

"I'm still glad he found you, though."

"Are you going to stay, now that you know I'm a criminal?"

"Of course I'm going to stay! As long as I can. I know you're not really a criminal, Alex, and won't be again. You've got a little girl. But you can tell me about all of it. Is that the worst of it?"

"I would hope so!"

"OK," Peter smiled.

"Did you like Emily?" Zander asked. "Were you really good friends with her?"

"No more than any of the other patients. She had a bit wilder story, so I listened. The bus accident running from the law and how she had been kidnapped before and fell for her kidnapper."

"Did you notice her having any other guy? She called me and told me she had a new boyfriend, broke up with me over the phone. I believed it then – that's easy for me to have believed, especially then. And now I'm not so sure."

"Not that I noticed."

"Would you have?"

"Probably. I spent enough time with the patients that I knew who their family and friends were. Though she could be in touch with someone who never actually came to the clinic. She was the type, I thought, that would talk about her boyfriend. She talked about you more than the newer guy, at least, to me."

"She better have had that guy."

Pete laughed. "Odd attitude. How come?"

Zander explained. "She might have made it up, trying to let me go because she couldn't walk. She's like that. I mean, she'd do a thing like that."

"That would be awful. She didn't strike me as that manipulative."

"She is, all right. If she did do that, I'm taking what she gave. But I bet I'm supposed to feel guilty."

"That's Dad pounding that into your head. To me it's to aim higher, and to you it's that you're always screwed up. We've got to stop listening to Dad, see, Alex, it's not so easy, because he had our whole childhood to drill us. We may need a shrink."

"_He_ needs a shrink."

Peter laughed. "Not a bad thought." He raised his glass of beer. "To Dad, getting the shock therapy."

Zander raised his glass to. "To shock therapy," he laughed.

"I'm all right, Alexander," Donna said, when he came to her room at the Port Charles Hotel the next day. He had skipped classes to do it. "Just wondering what would have been," she said. "It's sort of sad." She gave him the paper with the results.

"Are you upset?" he asked. "Were you hoping it would be negative after all?"

"I didn't think it would be," she said. "Are you upset?"

"No."

"Are you sure? I know you don't think it matters in your head. Still, it's got to be hard to get used to."

"I don't think it'll make any real difference."

"David's going to write up the family medical history, and says you can have some pictures if you want them. You don't have to meet him unless you want to."

"No. He probably has family that he doesn't want knowing about me."

"I don't think that's so, as if happens. He doesn't have children – other children, and he just got done with his third divorce. He's got a half-brother he's close to and I get the idea he'd even like that half-brother to know. He mentioned a cousin. His mother, he doesn't want her to know anything, at least, not yet. We both decided to leave Cam alone for now. No reason for him to find out unless you really need it for a court case."

"No, I'm not up for that. Dad'll just make snide comments and make it harder for you."

"I'm getting used to those, my dear."

"Of course, there's Carly. I think I'll wait for the medical history to tell her about it."

"You never know, and in case you ever need each other, for donors, or something – I think you could handle meeting him so you could keep in touch. I'd hate for something to happen to me and – now you know who David is, and you could probably find him easily any time, with his standing in medical circles, but it might be easier if you'd met him."

"Again."

"That's right, you did once before."

"I don't know. I feel dumb. How do you talk to your sperm donor father that had nothing to do with you? With raising you?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's not harder than talking to any other stranger."

"I hope not."

"He said he wished he'd been more of a family friend. He could have. I keep having regrets. If he hadn't gone out to California, it might have been different. Then I might have had the nerve to fight Cameron in a divorce, I don't know."

"It was a lot easier for you to wait until we were grown up."

"It was more stable for you, I think."

"It was, and Dad wouldn't have improved had you left. Pete – he might have had a much worse time. So don't be feeling so regretful." He went over and hugged her. 

"Thanks, sweetheart," she said. "You're so understanding about all this."

"Let's talk to this David once," he said. "You and me."

"Maybe it wouldn't be much harder than talking to Cameron," Brenda said. They were walking away from a class on campus.

"You've got a good point, there! Anybody is easier than Dad. Pete and I think he needs therapy."

"Can I meet this paragon of an older brother?"

"I'll call him now if you have time."

"OK."

"He doesn't know about my paternity issues."

"I'll keep mum."

Zander and Brenda and Pete were sitting at a table and Wang Duck's. Zander listened as Brenda and Peter compared experiences of Europe.

"We're leaving you out, too much, Alex, er, Zander," Pete said.

"No, it's all interesting," Zander insisted.

"I'm going to get him over there, soon, anyway," Brenda said. "To see my sister in London. Hey, maybe you can come to London, too, Peter."

"He and Julia have a lot in common," Zander said.

"Well, she is a little old for him," Brenda grinned mischievously, and put her arm around Zander.

"That's _not_ a problem," Zander said, and they all laughed.

"He's not so bad," Brenda said, back in her room at the hotel. "Yeah, I'm glad you have him back."

"Thanks for getting along with him, babe," Zander kissed her.

"Mmmmm," she held him closer, "I feel you are very appreciative. It's easy. He's treats you right."

Soon she was laying on top of him. He held her lightly, so she could control it all. She felt an orgasm wash over her.

She kissed his forehead and his mouth and ran her fingers through his hair. "I'll hang around if you want, or not, whatever's easiest, when you Mom brings your sperm donor."

"I think it would help to have you around." He ran his hand lightly up her back.

"If you're sure. I understand if not."

"I love you," he said, his eyes lighting up, mockingly, but his tone was sweet, and sincere.

"I love you," she whispered.

David Hayward had many reasons to be confident. But he'd never felt so nervous as he did climbing the stairs of the brownstone behind Donna. 

It didn't help to see that the boy had grown into a young man who looked yet more like a Hayward than he had before. But maybe that was his imagination working in overdrive, knowing the test results, David thought.

"This is my mother - Vanessa Bennett," he said, showing Alexander the photo album he had brought. "She's a bit crazy."

Alexander exchanged glances with his girlfriend. "Oh, no," said Brenda Barrett, but her eyes sparkled a little.

"This is Leo," he said, proudly, pointing to the picture of his half-brother. "He's perfectly sane."

Alexander laughed a little. "That's _good_ news!" he said.

"Here's my cousin, Maggie Stone, and her mother, Vanessa's sister," he went on. 

"Nice," Alexander said. There wasn't much else he could say.

The baby cried from the other room. "She's up," Zander said.

"Would you like me to get her?" Brenda asked.

"OK," Zander said.

"I'll just change her and put a fresh outfit on her," Brenda said.

"You're a trooper," he grinned.

"How often do you have the baby?" David asked.

"Every other weekend, and every other Wednesday and Thursday. Whenever Carly goes out and wants to leave her with me if I'm here."

"It's lucky Carly lives right downstairs."

"That's helped a lot," Zander said. "Carly's been good about letting me drop by any time. So I feel pretty well connected to Ginny."

"This is she," Brenda said, bringing her out. "Virginia Benson Smith."

"Hello, Miss Smith," David said, trying to sound gallant. He was amazed to see her for real.

Brenda handed her to Zander, who turned towards David with her. She reached toward David. He gave her his finger. She stared at him with big eyes, holding onto his finger.

"I think she might even go to you," Donna said.

Zander let David take her. She went to him without fussing, and let him hold her up on his lap, reaching up to play with the buttons on his shirt.

"Buttons are one of her latest interests," Zander explained.

"Yeah," David said, smiling. He was thrilled to look at her. Somehow it was even more amazing having this descendant, the one he had not expected at all.

"She knows kind of," Brenda said, in an undertone, to Donna. "Guy looks like Daddy, so he's OK. That's why she sits there so calm, do you think?"

"Maybe," Donna smiled. "Yes, I think so."

A little later Donna took Ginny to feed her. 

"Keep this album if you want," David told Zander. He handed him a paper. "That's everything I can think of for the Hayward family medical history."

"Thanks," Zander said.

"I put all my numbers at the end of that," David said. "You can call me anytime."

"You are OK with me telling Carly about this?"

"Of course."

"OK. She can keep it quiet. Brenda too. I didn't tell my brother. I'm not sure I will - don't see any reason."

"Whatever you think best. Are you close to him?"

"Yeah, I think so. Now we're over all that about the shooting. At least, Pete and I are."

"Your Dad isn't, you're saying."

"No, he'll never get over it."

It was quiet for a while. Zander paged through the album. "If you want your brother to know, that's fine with me," he said. "Mom thought you might like him to."

"Thank you," David said. "I'd say he's my closest friend. You're fairly philosophical about all this, though. As I said, call me any time, if you want to know something, or say something, or yell at me, whatever, I understand."

"I guess it might be more upsetting if Dad and I were close, but we're just not. Probably wouldn't be no matter what. I'm not what he thinks his son should be, biology or none. Or what anybody should be, in his opinion. Did you know him very well?"

"I wouldn't say real well, but I knew him. We were colleagues. There were a whole bunch of us. He fit in with that group. He could be gracious, friendly. To us, as his colleagues. Sometimes I thought he was a little bit arrogant. But, we all were."

"Doctors," Zander said.

"Yeah," David laughed. "Cardiologists, in fact, are the worst of doctors, even, for that."

"But you must have known more about Dad, if not directly."

"Oh," David said, shifting a little bit, feeling a little uncomfortable. "Yes, sure. I did get – well, Donna was mostly afraid of him. I thought she didn't have to be as afraid of him as she was, but she knew him better. I mean, at least, that's how it seemed to me. She might tell you something else about all that. But you feel you don't know him very well?"

"I never thought of it that way. But yeah. That's perfect. I don't know him very well."

"Maybe no one does."

"Probably not."


	28. Chapter 28

**Part 28**

Donna and David went to dinner at the Port Charles Grill.

"He struck me as kind of mature," David said. "How is it Cam doesn't get along with him?"

"Alexander hasn't always been so mature," Donna smiled. "He was wild in high school. Hyper sort of child. He was never meant to be a scholarship student. More inclined to sports. He's not in the least cut out to be a doctor," she went on. "He wouldn't be much like you in that way. You must have done well in school."

"You know who he reminded me of most? You'll think I'm silly, but he does. Leo."

"Maybe that's how all the young men are now."

"Yeah," David laughed. "At least the ones who weren't meant to be scholarship students."

"Thanks for coming, David."

"I'm glad I did. We've got a really adorable granddaughter, you know."

Donna smiled. "That's a nice thing to say."

A shadow loomed. "So, David Hayward!" Cameron was standing there, looking down on him. "What brings you here? Enlightening the local cardiologists on the latest noninvasive procedures?"

"Um, yeah, Cam, and I ran into an old friend," he said, indicating Donna. "I understand you are grandparents."

"Oh, our younger son blessed up with early parenthood. Not finished school, not married. But hey, what better time to become a father, eh? How are you Hayward?"

"I'm doing well. Give me your number, and I'll catch up with you later."

Donna was grateful. She'd been happy until Cam showed up. Now, she just wanted to get rid of him. She disliked the way he ignored her, but was relieved at the same time.

"You know, that was a sarcastic way to talk about his son in front of an acquaintance," David said.

Donna, watching Cameron's retreating back to make sure it continued retreating, looked back at David. "It's terrible," she said. "I never admitted to myself how bad it was. Never dealt with it right. Cam might be a little upset at Alexander for cutting him off. He'd never admit it, though. Even so, none of that is nearly so bad as the way he deals with Alexander directly. Peter even notices it himself and tries to help."

"Do you have any hope of getting Cam to go into therapy?"

Donna shook her head. "That's like a dream. I wonder what he'd say. No one dares. You know you'll be cut down if you say it. See, to him, we're the ones who need therapy. He's successful. Smart. He's OK."

"And so is Peter."

"Yes. Though I foresee trouble. Peter isn't interested in becoming a doctor after all."

"Oh, ho! Can Peter reach greatness through some other means?"

Donna smiled. "Is there any other, than cardiology? Peter wants to be a therapist. He had his own successful case, and so wants to help other people recover from devastating injuries."

"I'm glad he's a nice kid, too. For all Cam's faults, he still raised two kids that are OK."

"Alexander has some bad history. Still, he got back on his feet."

"He's OK," David said. Then he smiled. "Maybe I'm biased, though."

"He wasn't that hard to talk to, after all," Zander said to Brenda. He was sitting on the floor, watching Ginny laying on a blanket, kicking her legs and flailing her arms. "Almost like you."

"I thought he was OK," Brenda said. "Easy going. Different from your father that way."

"Some kids are lucky, did you realize that Brenda? Their fathers just take them as they are."

"Ginny."

"That's what I intend." He looked down at her. "I love you, whatever you're like, little rabbit," he said to the baby. "Even if you insist on being a top notch, overly organized cardiologist when you grow up."

"She would be a nice cardiologist if she was one," Brenda went over and sat on the floor next to him.

"I wonder what Dad's patients think," Zander said.

"Didn't you ever meet one?"

"Nope."

"I hope they're not all dead," Brenda reflected.

Zander looked up at her and laughed. "You mean one of those sour looks and your already failing heart goes thud?"

"I wonder how many people he's killed that way already. Seriously, though, he must be saving or prolonging lives in his work. But his bedside manner could be atrocious."

"It must be. I can't imagine him being different, and I'd hate to have him as a doctor."

"I don't turn into an entirely different person in front of the camera. But maybe we are a little different when at work."

"I'd love to know what some patient of his thinks of him. I don't suppose there's any way to find out." He was still looking down at Ginny. "Maybe he'd be a better grandfather than he was a father."

"You know you could have David as the grandfather to Ginny, sort of like Bobbie and Michael. Bobbie wasn't the mother of Carly but she seems to be a regular grandmother."

"Yeah, it's weird how they went back to the biological family. Carly loved her adopting mother, though. Virginia Benson, like this one here." He picked the baby up. Ginny looked at him and grabbed at his face. He kissed her on the forehead.

"Carly doesn't have her father, so Ginny won't have a grandfather."

"I guess I ought to give Dad the chance to mend his ways."

"How will you know he has?"

"I don't know. Hard to picture. Any ideas?"

"Hmm, he'll have to be able to list your good points, that's number one if it were up to me. If he's smart enough to be a cardiologist, he's smart enough to figure that out."

"Wonder why he doesn't. I don't know what his are, though, so maybe he has the same trouble."

"Empathy. That's a good point. One he doesn't have. If it helps, I can't figure out his good points, either."

"I wonder if Mom could say what they might be."

"You think there are some?"

"Well, there's got to be, being smart and working hard and stuff like that. But that wouldn't be what Ginny needs."

Brenda put her arms around both Zander and Ginny. Zander put his arms around both of them, too. Having less room to move around in, finding herself right next to Brenda, Ginny grabbed one of the buttons on her shirt. Brenda laughed and took Ginny onto her lap. Zander smiled, watching Brenda play with the baby.


	29. Chapter 29

**Part 29**

"Well, little girl, at least you don't have any genes that come from _that man_," Carly said, looking at Ginny, who sat on her lap. "But what do you know about this David?"

"I met him. He's OK. Not a raving lunatic or criminal or anything. He did say his mother was crazy."

"Crazy, huh?" Carly mused. "Better than mean."

"Mom is so much better, I thought that was out of my family history. Then along comes this, and it's back in again."

"I don't think there's anything to worry about. Here, take her while I go and heat up some baby food."

"OK." Zander sat Ginny down on his lap facing him. She grinned and flailed her arms at him. "No, we're not crazy," he said to her in a silly voice. "Not crazy at all!"

David met Cameron in the coffee shop of the Port Charles Hotel.

They talked about various colleagues and their movements from this or that hospital or university, new pharmaceuticals, new non-invasive procedures, the dreadfulness of insurance companies and the atrociousness of medical malpractice lawyers. David knew as far as Cameron was concerned, they weren't supposed to talk about anything else.

"It's too bad about your divorce," David said, casually. "I can't talk; I've been divorced three times."

"I suppose she told you her side," Cameron said, in a tone that indicated that "her side" was all wrong.

"No. Just that you're divorced. She told me a little bit about how much anti-depressants have helped her. She talked mostly about your son and your new granddaughter. New grandmothers always find their grandchildren to be the most fascinating thing on earth."

"I'm sure," Cameron said, absently.

"Maybe I can help you out a little," David said.

"With what?"

"It just seems a shame I got to see your grandchild, but you can't," he said. "But I seem to be able to talk to your son OK. Maybe I can help you with this breach you seem to have with him."

"_You're_ going to help me get along with _my_ son?"

"I'm just saying you seem so at odds you need a go-between; neutral, a third party. I could be a halfway decent emissary. I know Donna from way back, and I know you."

"Why are you interested?"

"I don't know. It just occurred to me I might be able to do a little good, that's all."

"I don't think so."

"OK. It was just an idea. I guess you've got a better one."

"For what?"

"To repair you relationship with your son. Why else are you in this town?"

"My older son is here and I'd like to see him, and make sure nothing happens to him."

"Why? What could happen to him?"

"Who knows? Anything. His brother shot him once. Now he comes to see his brother, who lives in a town where he is a known drug dealer and a kidnapper. Anything could happen to him, and anybody near him could suffer from the fall-out."

"That's the only reason you're here?"

Cameron didn't answer.

"Come on, Cameron, whatever Alexander has done in the past, right now he's not a danger to anybody, much less his own brother."

"He's done more damage to his brother than to anyone else. But Alexander has decided that he knows best once again."

"Let me ask you for some advice. I don't have any children, but you never know. There's still hope. I'd like to find out as much as I can. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, it seems to me, you raised two basically good kids. But you don't agree. So how did that come about? How could one turn out so well and the other turn out so badly, when they're both your kids?"

"You suffer from the common misconception, Hayward, that they come as a blank slate that you get to fill up. They do not. They come with their own personalities."

"But you have some influence."

"It varies. But you have far less influence than you would probably like to think."

"Then at least to some degree, Alexander was born the way he is. So why blame him? Why give Peter so much credit?"

"I don't blame them or give them credit. But I deal with them the way their personalities call for. See, they are very different. They may come from the same parents, but they come with their own personalities which are not more similar because they are brothers."

"I see. Still, if you'll forgive me for saying so, aren't you dealing with Alexander the wrong way? Maybe his personality calls for a different way than what you've been using. This is your own opinion I'm getting at, Cam. In my opinion, he's alright, even in spite of the hunting accident."

"One, you're not his father. Two, that accident did not hurt _him_, it hurt Peter."

"But of course it hurt him, Cameron! In a very different way. Some might say in a worse way! Think how hard that would be to live with!"

"I'm sure it's very hard to live with."

"But how do you help?"

"You can't if he refuses to be helped. He left home. Again, he knew best. He does not, all right, if you insist, perhaps _cannot_, listen. So he deciding dealing drugs was best. That was his opinion of what was best to do."

"I guess if he was of age, you couldn't legally stop him."

"Of course not, but being underage wouldn't have stopped him."

"You could still go after him, though."

"Which I did. After several years I found him. He still found it best to scorn my advice, or the advice of anyone with any longer experience or better wisdom, or any other source of information. He has in the meantime decided on bringing a child into the world, though he had no education and has a menial job."

"Well, there are a lot of people who do that."

"Certainly there are."

"And who takes their parents advice when they are young? Did you?"

"Some of it. Didn't you?"

"I didn't have any. My father died when I was really young. My mother couldn't, not knowing much herself, I suppose, is the way you could put it. I did do whatever I thought best. In the end, we all do."

"In the end, but there are some personalities that refuse to learn anything before deciding what to do."

"Surely there's a great deal of variation on that."

"A great deal. Most of us fall in the middle. We could say Alexander falls on an extreme of the relevant continuum."

"Then it seems to me pointless to try to give advice as to the wiser course. What can you do but try to get him to think he thought up the wiser course himself? To do that you'd have to listen more than talk."

"Well, you can't listen to someone who runs away."

"Maybe they run away because nobody's listening."

"Well, Hayward, I hope you'll find out. And have better luck."

"Well, I hope you have better luck, too. Let me know if I can be of any help."


	30. Chapter 30

**Part 30**

"He is the most, the most," David tried to think, back in his hotel room, talking to Leo on the phone. "Irascible, cold-hearted, arrogant know-it-all. OK, I guess I'm an arrogant know-it-all sometimes, but I hope I'm not a cold-hearted one."

"Maybe you shouldn't get involved in it, David," Leo said, affectionately. "Sounds like a mess and it's none of your making. Well, I guess Alexander is of your making, but what happened afterwards is not."

"I assumed it was a stable household and that was best. Of course anyone could say that was the easy thing to do, but I think I did care, and really thought that it was the best thing for the kid, and it might have been harder had I seen him, but I didn't. It _was_ easier that way. Then later when I did see him, there was no way I could start uprooting his home, Donna didn't want to, either, so it would have been too much of a mess."

"But now you think it might have been better?"

"Good question, Leo. Thanks. Maybe not. Right now just after that conversation with Cameron, I feel like it would have been far better, even if he lost some time with his brother. If I had, he wouldn't have been in the position to shoot his brother."

"But the thing is, David, Donna should have told you from the beginning."

"It's amazing she told me at all, come to think of it."

"I'm surprised you didn't kidnap that kid when he was ten just to get his blood sample."

"Very funny, Leo. I suppose I could have given him something to put him to sleep and gotten it without his knowing it. But if I had been more certain would I have gotten enough involved to alter the whole balance and the outcome?" 

"You could have altered it for the worse, you know."

"That's hard for me to believe right now."

"The genetics makes a difference? Maybe you just want to help wayward youth after working with so many of them at the shelter the judge sentenced you to."

"No, it doesn't feel like community service. I guess the genes make a difference. Maybe it shouldn't. It does, though. So what really kills me is that Cam comes across as having no idea, so he thinks this kid is his that same way. This is the way he really treats his own kid!"

"Some fathers are worse than no father at all."

"This might be such a case. Well, Alexander could use a friend; I guess that's the most I can do, now."

"OK. Count me in, if you need me."

"You're the greatest, Leo, and you've got something there. You're closer in age, and had nothing to do with creating all this either."

"OK, but come back home soon, David, and steer clear of this Cameron or you may end up punching him."

David laughed. "Good advice. If I'm not like my biological son, I won't ignore it."

"Maybe you are, and therefore he's smart, and that's why he ignored Cameron's lousy advice."

"Yeah. Cam would never believe his advice wasn't the greatest. And you thought I was arrogant. You should see this guy."

"That would be something I've never seen before!"

David laughed. "Put a lid on it, Leo!" he said, affectionately.

"I wanted to find out what I could," David was telling Zander, having gone to the brownstone and being lucky to find him in and with no one else there. "It occurred to me that moment and I couldn't help myself, I guess. I don't think I made him suspicious, but he doesn't let on much of what he's really thinking."

"Yeah, even Mom doesn't know if he's really suspicious. I'm not real eager to tell him, either. He should get all the credit. Or blame."

"I wish I had been more of a friend. I could have at least done that."

"I don't see what else you could have done. It's only chromosomes, and that part doesn't matter much."

"I know that, but then, they're _my_ chromosomes. I've been accused of being egotistical, but then I think anybody would think it had some importance. Look at it from the point of view of your daughter. You couldn't just exchange her for some other little girl. If you found out she'd been switched accidentally at the hospital with someone else's child, you'd want to see that other child."

"Maybe, but I'm attached to the one I have, so I don't think I could give her back even so."

"I understand. It's a mystery, how much we are born to be and what influences on us do to affect us. I appreciate that Cam is your father in the way that counts. Yet your chemical make-up can have a great effect on how you react to things, and sometimes your parents' descriptions of you sound familiar – like I've done things like that, is what they get me thinking."

"You might not think that if you didn't know it. If you were just talking to Mom like an old friend, and she's talking about me, you might think – what a jerk her son is."

"If so it would only underline my point. I can't think you're a jerk, maybe, because I _do_ know. But the old friend thing. That's what I can do. You can talk to me without getting judged. I can't judge anybody; I've done too many stupid things myself. That can balance out your father, even if it's just the littlest bit, and it'll help you out."

"You are easier to talk to," Zander said. "Way easier than Dad, even if it has nothing to do with chromosomes."

"Well, there you have it. I don't even have to be related to you to be a friend."

"What are some of these stupid things you've done?" Zander asked, grinning.


	31. Chapter 31

**Part 31**

Zander finished work and was taking his tennis racket back to the locker room. He felt a little tired. It was a strange feeling, as he was not used to it.

As he came to the door of the locker room, he saw Cameron standing there.

"What do you want?" he demanded angrily.

"I am simply checking up on you."

"What for?"

"Since you choose not to voluntarily communicate, they is really no remedy but to stalk you, correct?"

"Don't worry about it. Pretend I'm not your son. It's not as if you care."

Cameron followed him into the locker room.

"Get out!" Zander yelled. "Make sure I never see your face again!"

Cameron just stood there.

"Get the hell out!" Zander yelled. "Don't come near me again, don't check up on me."

"I'm your father, and - "

"No you're not!"

"I'm sure you wish that were so," Cameron replied, evenly. "But it's not."

Zander opened the locker door, threw the racket in, and slammed it shut. He looked at it - it was painted a blue color. It looked really odd. He stared at it for a moment, thinking it wasn't that great a color. It started to swim and be made up of several blues, a strange kaleidoscope of blue. He felt sick looking at it, and tried to turn and walk, but then everything went black.

Brenda sat in the waiting room on the intensive care unit, unable to move for the terror gripping her.

"I called David," she heard someone saying, looking up and seeing Donna sitting down next to her. "He'll take the next flight here, he says."

"Thanks," Brenda muttered. Donna put her arms around her, and Brenda's head dropped to Donna's shoulder.

"He's stable now," Monica said to Cameron. They both stood by the bed. "You don't have any family history of hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, or Long Q-T Syndrome?"

"None."

"Donna's family?"

"Nothing."

"No fainting spells before?"

"Not that I've ever heard of or seen."

"I told you about an earlier surgery I did for a gunshot wound – severe – during that surgery he threw a lot of PVCs. I commented on it. He claimed there was no heart disease in his family."

"He was right. I was never so surprised in my life."

"I don't think we should let this pass - do all the tests and treat him with a beta blocker if his EKG shows prolonged Q-T intervals."

"But if he were to go into this kind of fibrillation again - What if I hadn't been standing right there? And in a country club with a good first aid station with an automatic defibrillator?"

"That must have been frightening."

"Yes."

"He had just been playing tennis?"

"Must have been."

"No emotional upset?"

"Maybe," Cameron said. "That could be, too."

"Could be?"

"I was there. He was angry."

Feeling safer, perhaps, with Monica there, Cameron reached over and touched Zander's forehead, pushing his hair back out of it.

He pulled his hand back hastily. "That frightened me," he said, offhandedly, almost. "I always thought he was healthy as a horse."

Zander opened his eyes. He could see Brenda sleeping in a chair, her head at an uncomfortable-looking angle. He looked around and saw the hospital.

He wondered if he'd been beaten up again. He tried to remember. He could only remember the last tennis lesson.

He saw that he could push the button for the nurse. No stranger to hospital stays, he knew exactly what to do.

"Could you do something to move her head? She looks awfully uncomfortable."

"She wouldn't leave you," said the nurse.

The nurse moved Brenda's head up and shook her a little, "Wake up sleeping beauty," she said, kindly. "Prince Charming's awake."

Brenda looked up. She met his eyes with a shock. In a second she got up and went to him and threw her arms around him.

He hugged her, closing his eyes. Whatever had happened had scared her.

"It's OK," he said. "Did I do something to annoy Sonny again?"

She looked at him. "No, you did something far worse."

"I can't remember a thing."

"Cameron said you passed out and he had to use CPR on you."

"Why?" he looked around the room, as if there might be an answer on the walls.

"Something about irregular heartbeat."

"Weird. Now I remember. He was right there, stressing me out. Yeah, he's at fault," he smiled, but she still looked frightened.

"Don't do it again," she said.

"Not if I can help it! Maybe he brought me here out of abundance of caution. Probably no big deal."

"Sounds like a big deal to me. He was saying you could have died."

"He wishes. Well, if I ever do turn up a stiff, and he's the last one who's been seen near me, remember, he's guilty of the murder, OK?"

"Don't joke."

"OK, Brenda. It's OK."

She hugged him again. He held her head against his shoulder. "I can't live without you," she said.

David Hayward knocked on the door of Monica's office. "Zander Smith," he said, "I'm an emissary from the mother. She and Cam don't talk, especially not about their son."

Monica explained everything in cardiologist's terms. "I trust you to translate all that," she said. "For the mother. According to Cam there's no family history of any sudden cardiac arrest or sudden cardiac death. Guess somebody has to be the first one."

"My father died of a sudden heart attack. Only in his thirties."

"Then you ought to have EKGs done on you!"

"I have! I would have anyway, of course. I don't have anything. I could be a carrier though."

"I hope not."

"In order that you make the right diagnosis on this case, there is something you may as well know now. And you can't talk to Cam about it, either."

Cameron took the chart and read through it. There was a minor gunshot wound on a Christmas Day, minor wounds here and there that were probably from fights – Monica Quartermaine had labeled it that way in some of the entries. She appeared to have taken care of him where she would not normally have been expected to.

He found the major surgery Monica had talked about, and saw the charts she had saved with the record of premature ventricular contractions. But he didn't think he would have done anything more either. Not on a regular patient. Just asked them about their family history and their own history of fainting spells.

More fights, more injuries. A severe beating of some kind. A paternity test.

Cameron figured it was no surprise Alexander had to get a paternity test out of that Carly woman, but then was surprised he had thought of it. It had been one idea of Cameron's that perhaps Alexander had been taken in. But the test showed he was the father of the child.

Alexander's life history. What a mess. But he just felt weary, now.

Yet another paternity test. Well, it figured that yet another woman had gotten Alexander into a tight spot. There was the DNA profile again. But the other party was not a baby.


	32. Chapter 32

**Part 32**

Cameron was about to turn the page to peruse this second paternity test report more closely, when he looked up to see David Hayward.

"What are you doing here?" Cameron asked Hayward.

"Looking in on Alexander."

"Why?"

"Donna called me."

"What for?"

"I'm her friend."

"So you come all the way here from Pine Valley to see a friend's son when he's in a hospital with perfectly good cardiologists and his own father is one?"

"Yes, when the father is on speaking terms with neither the friend nor her son. How did you alienate them to such degree, Cam?"

"Are you trying to be arbitrator again?" Cameron said, sarcastically. "Why the interest?"

"I already told you, Cameron."

Cameron watched David walk off. 

Dr. Monica Quartermaine went to talk to her patient about his diagnosis, and found that there were too many cardiologists around.

First there was Dr. Cameron Lewis. The patient refused to see him. The patient became upset at the very idea of seeing him. Dr. Lewis had no choice but to bow out.

The patient was less excitable about Dr. Hayward's consultation on his case and said it was fine with him if Dr. Hayward came in on the matter.

Dr. Quartermaine went in to the patient, knowing it was now a delicate matter indeed. Dr. Hayward went with her.

"So what do you big shot heart doctors think this is?" asked the patient, as if expecting the answer to be only mildly interesting.

"A disturbance the electrical system in your heart," Monica began to explain. "That can suddenly manifest itself without any prior symptoms. Had you ever fainted before?"

"No."

"With ordinary syncope – fainting - there is usually some warning: dizziness, blurring or blackening of vision, tingling or sweating. With this, it just happens precipitously - without warning."

"Yeah. Yeah it did. No warning. I can't even remember it now."

"You were playing tennis?" Monica asked.

"Not really. Teaching it isn't like playing a game."

"So you wouldn't say you had just been finished with a strenuous physical activity."

"No."

"An emotionally stressful event?" she asked.

"Dad showed up."

"Did you have words?"

"As usual."

"You got into an argument."

"I think I told him not to look for me again. I forget. I was annoyed to see him there."

"Was it stressful?"

"Not any more than usual. It's always stressful to talk to him."

"Does your heart flip-flop in your chest much?" David asked. "Skip a beat, feel like it flutters?"

"N-no," Zander said. "I don't think that has ever happened."

"Not often, anyway?"

"No, not often."

"OK," Monica said. When I decide you're up to it, I'm going to have you sent down for an EKG. When we discussed this before, you said there was no family history of sudden and unexplained deaths under the age of 40."

"Can I talk to you alone?" Zander asked David.

"Sure," Monica said, getting up, glancing at David, before she walked out.

"That history you gave me," Zander said. "Didn't something like that happen to your father?"

"She ought to know that, Alexander."

"Zander."

"OK. Zander. We ought to tell her, and as a professional person, she'll keep it in confidence."

"Even from her family?"

"Yes. Your Dad didn't talk to you about his patients, right? So those are the ethics of the medical profession. You don't discuss your patient's condition with anyone unless they say you can."

"This isn't really my condition, though," Zander said. "It's just a fact."

"That's smart of you to see that," David said. "It's really important for her to know it, though. There's an inherited condition I suspect, but she won't suspect it enough, if she doesn't get this part of your family history. I think she'll respect your confidence."

"OK. I have to risk it, then." 

"It'll be fine."

"How much do you know about your father's death?" Monica asked David, when he had come out into the hall.

"Not much," he said. "But it was sudden, and unexplained, and when he was 36. It was too long ago for me to be able to get any good records. I tried when I first found out about this paternity thing. But in those days they weren't so particular. They shrugged and went on."

"And buried them," Monica said, grimly. "What did Zander want to talk to you about?"

"My father's death. I gave him a family history medical report when we found out. Anyway, he knows you have to know. I reassured him you will keep it confidential."

"I suppose I thought him indestructible," Cameron said to Monica. "This is so unexpected."

They were looking at Zander's EKG.

"If QTc squared is 470 msec, he gets two points, and he gets another 2 points for fainting under stress, that's four. Four is enough to diagnose the syndrome, so we have to treat him for it," Monica said. She was looking at a point chart that was a general guide to diagnosing Long Q-T syndrome.

"He'd only have three points if you decided that the fainting was not under stress," said Cameron.

"You were there. Was he under stress?"

"Nothing unusual."

"That's what he said. But it doesn't have to be unusual. Just stressful."

"It's usual for him to be under stress, you mean?"

"No, he told me that when you are around, he is under stress." Monica wanted to prevail on this point, so as to convince Cameron of the diagnosis without having to say anything about adding .5 point for the sudden and unexplained early death of David's father.

"Would you treat him for it if it were three points?" Cameron asked.

"Yes," Monica said. "The way he described the fainting fell right in with the classic descriptions. I wouldn't want to risk it. Granted he could live to be 90 with nothing happening, but with a risk it could suddenly kill him one day when he's much, much younger than that – well, if it were my son I wouldn't risk it. You think it might not be necessary to treat him for it?"

"No, no. I want to, but you are more objective and might see it as overreaction."

"No. The EKG reading is at the low end of where we'd conclude he has it, but the description of the fainting convinces me. I'm taking it to be under stress. I don't have an issue with that."

"Right after he shot his brother," Cameron said. "Then, under that stress, nothing happened to give us any indication of this. The run-in we had in the locker room was nothing."

"That's the way this can be," Monica said. "Just stress. Not the biggest possible stress."

"I suppose I should have my son Peter checked."

"It couldn't hurt," Monica said, looking away.

"I wish I had known this," Cameron said.

"How could you have?"

"I thought it would do him good to be on his own like he was. But that presumed that he was as healthy as I thought."

"You mean you let him be on his own?"

"I knew he would survive," Cameron said. "I didn't worry about him. But," he added, remembering she was Emily's mother, "I should have worried about other people and what could happen to them, and so I apologize to you. After what he did to your daughter, I understand if you blame me."

"It wasn't that simple. I liked Zander after a while. Emily did too."

"Peter does, too. But people like that can end up really getting badly hurt when they are within the range of Alexander's actions."

"He's not doing much action now," Monica said. "Let's worry about that."


	33. Chapter 33

**Part 33**

Monica and David were back in Zander's room again, showing him his EKG. Brenda looked at it, too, leaning on Zander's shoulder, and Donna sat on his other side.

"Each of these is a heartbeat," Monica said, pointing to the squiggly and spikey lines on the EKG, which occurred over and over in the same pattern. "Each of these waves is broken down into parts, with the points designated by the letters - P, Q, R, S and T. A heartbeat starts here at P, the two upper chambers, the atrium, contract, then the electric current passes to the lower chambers, the ventricles, which are bigger, and make this spike, from Q to R to S, and then the ventricles contract, and then the electric current makes the T wave, and then it starts over again. From Q to T represents the time for the electrical activation and inactivation of the ventricles. The EKG measures the time it takes for this whole thing from Q to T to take. If it takes longer than normal, it can cause an abnormality of the heartbeat, very rapid, or fluttering, which can bring on sudden fainting, like you experienced. Even sudden death. Some people are so unfortunate that cardiac arrest and sudden death is their first symptom."

So," he said, looking at one, then the other, "I could just reel off any time."

"No, in fact deaths are preventable where the condition is recognized and treated," Monica said. "That makes this a lucky event, really, if you look at it the right way. Sometimes people have fainting spells, but this gets overlooked, because people think it is a simple passing out."

"I see. What is the treatment?"

"There are medications called beta-blockers are effective in about 90 of patients," Monica said. "In the rest we can implant a pacemaker or use an automatic defibrillator, but we don't usually resort to those unless the patient continued to faint even while on the medications, or went into cardiac arrest as the first symptom. Your father didn't find you to be in a full arrest."

"He's going around saying I could have died."

"Maybe, but you may not have. It was a good thing he was right there, though. People have had these attacks and died or went into a coma for days or weeks, or even just fainted and recovered and never realized the problem. Really you couldn't get luckier than to have this attack right in front of a cardiologist."

"Though he was the one bringing it on," Brenda said.

"True," Monica replied, "but then it could have been from playing sports hard, or from any stressful event. Cameron saying you could have died is Cameron being under the influence of parental worry."

"Speaking of that," Zander said. "What about the baby?"

"We'll check her and keep checking her," David said reassuringly. "We know to be on the lookout. With you, that wasn't so. Something happened before we discovered it."

Zander sighed. "Can she be tested for it?"

"Yes, and all of her check-ups include your history. Which is more than could have been said for yours."

"I'm trying to be upbeat about this," Zander said. "But all I can do is worry."

"You'll be educated about this," David said. "Well all make sure you know all there is to know about it."

"I'm going to decide on a medication and then write you a prescription," Monica said. "And you take it every day. Don't quit because you feel all right. It protects you but it doesn't cure you. OK?"

"How come it works?"

"It slows down the harmful effects of stress hormones on your heart. This medicine also slows your heart rate."

"That makes the interval of Q and T shorter?"

"Not specifically. But that lack of rhythm is less likely to be upset under an overall slower rate and with less effect from stress hormones."

"I see," Zander said. "Thank you."

"I'll go and start working on deciding which one to use," Monica said, leaving them.

"Thanks," Zander said, after her.

"How did you decide on your specialty?" Zander asked David. "Was it your Dad's death?"

"A lot of things, but my Dad's death was one."

"I read that in the write-up you gave me," Zander said. "I thought how he was young to die, but it just didn't hit me. Didn't occur to me at all it might mean something."

"Me neither," David said. "And I should even have thought about it. If a patient came in my office and said that about their grandfather, I might well had ordered an EKG of them even if they had no symptoms at all. I've seen mine and it's normal. The context distracted me away from making that connection."

"You think I'm any less likely to drop dead if I take these pills Dr. Quartermaine talks about?"

"You won't drop dead. You can even teach tennis. You can't be the next Bjorn Borg, but you can play anything recreationally."

"And Ginny?"

"She'll be fine. She can be tested long before she can even think about competitive sports."

"Thank you, David. It's a good thing we did the paternity test."

David smiled, and patted Zander's arm. "Of course it is," he said.


	34. Chapter 34

**Part 34**

"You both look exhausted," David said. Zander was asleep. David went out into the waiting room to see Brenda and Donna sitting on the couch.

"I'm better now," Brenda said. "It's less scary knowing what it is and that something can be done about it."

Donna agreed. "You look a little weary, too," she said to David.

"Do I?" he asked. "I'd really like to get the baby in for an EKG."

"I'll talk to Carly," Donna volunteered. "I was thinking about calling her to bring Ginny in anyway, to see Alex."

"Thank you, Donna," David said, as Donna got up to go and call.

Cameron came out of the elevator.

"There he is," Brenda said, making sure Cameron could hear her, "the lifesaver. I would have thanked him, but I guess now he thinks he has the total right to put Zander down forever."

Cameron ignored her, and went to the open door of Zander's room.

"Sleeping," Brenda called to him.

Cameron looked at her. He went into the room anyway.

He came out after another second.

"Still here," he commented, as he saw David.

"Yes, we're still here," Brenda said to him, "we care, see."

David was getting a bad feeling about the immediate future interaction between Brenda and Cameron.

"You know he's not supposed to have any stress," Brenda said to Cameron.

"I'm a doctor, and I know that," Cameron said.

"You didn't know that down at the country club," she said.

"I didn't know he had this condition and could never have guessed, or I'd have known by then. As for Alexander, he had handled far more stress before countless times."

"You made sure of that," Brenda answered.

"Did you expect me to encourage him?" Cameron argued, "every time he did something dangerous?"

"No, but you could have encouraged him in general, and you didn't, did you?" She stood and went up to Cameron. "You are encouraging towards Peter," she added accusingly.

"Like most children, Peter _needed_ encouragement. Alexander, on the other hand, needed to learn to question his own judgment. He still does."

"There must be a more affectionate way to do that," David said, wanting to say something to get the two of them distracted from the spiral they were in before Brenda got mad enough to tell Cameron all about his lack of biological paternity.

"Why are _you_ so interested?" Cameron again asked this question of David.

"The better question is why do you think it so strange anyone is interested?" David retorted, standing up, too. "Most people love to talk about their kids. Other people don't have to be _'so interested'_ as you put it, for _normal_ parents to talk about their kids. They're so interested themselves that they don't even notice how interested someone else might be. Hell, they usually bore you to death without your having to show any interest whatsoever. And I mean bragging about them, not going on about them having to learn to question their own judgment or any psycho-babble like that. I think Brenda and I are merely fascinated by how wrong your approach is."

"Spoken like a true inexperienced parent," Cameron sneered. "How many children have you raised?"

"I don't have to have raised any to see that there's something wrong with the way you deal with Zander," David said.

"The question is why are _you_ here," Brenda addressed Cameron. "You know he's not supposed to get stressed out. You know that you never do anything else. So why are you here? You had second thoughts and would now rather kill him?"

"No. Obviously if I had known he was in this condition, I would have seen him a little differently, but I had no way of knowing. He is a _lot_ like _me_. And I know how I got straightened out."

"You're kidding," Brenda said. "You'll consider yourself successful when you've made him into as miserable an SOB as you are?"

Cameron could not answer all these questions at once and walked off, muttering that he didn't have to answer their questions, and that they didn't know what they were talking about.

About twenty minutes later, Cameron walked back down the hall. He stopped, because he could hear their conversation. He stood for a moment, wondering where to go rather than back to the waiting room with them still there.

"I know he's going to say he shouldn't have more children," Brenda said. "They could inherit it, couldn't they?"

"Each child has his or her own fifty/fifty chance," Hayward said. "Like being a boy or a girl."

"Fifty/fifty," Brenda repeated. "He's not gonna like that."

"You could try arguing from the positive side," Hayward said.

"What's that? Fifty percent don't have it?"

"That, and that if they did it could be detected and treated, and they are better off than he ever was, because up till now he didn't know about it."

"Yeah, I guess there are people out there in the world, living their lives, with no idea of this time bomb," Brenda said. "Like Zander was."

Cameron thought sarcastically how amazingly perceptive Brenda was. He wanted to go, but was somehow stuck, fascinated by her opinion of Alexander.

"That's worse," Hayward then said. "You only have to convince Zander of that."

Brenda smiled. "I'll try," she said. "And you don't have it. So people who don't have it can pass it on anyway. I could."

"It's not that common, but that's true, there are people out there passing it on without knowing it, too. All in more danger, because again, they won't look out for it."

"It's amazing how this can all be understood. I think I'll take a class in genetics. And your father was worse off than Zander or any of Zander's children. He didn't know at all."

"Most likely. We can't be completely sure he had it, but now we can look back and say he probably did. But without his dying the way he did, we wouldn't be so sure Zander has it."

"Can't you tell from the EKG?"

"With a really high measurement, but his is even at the high end of normal. Some people will have a measurement well over .50, you won't have to question it, but if it is like Zander's at .47, you want some other factor to be sure. Of course when he passed out like that, we'd probably want to treat him, at least with beta blockers. Even having it, sudden death isn't necessarily likely, but death is death. Can't take a chance with that when taking some pills is all you have to do. If that weren't the case, if the worst possible thing was only dizziness or something, we could let it go for most people who didn't have symptoms."

"Is it somehow not as bad a case of it with a lower measurement? Then your heart's timing isn't as badly off."

"I don't think we look at it that way. Maybe a little off and as bad as way off when it comes to the chances of missing a beat and then going into this really dangerous state of ventricular fibrillation. Probably there have never been enough people known to have this condition to have a study that would be able to account for that."

Cameron walked off, frowning.

What the hell did it matter whether Hayward or his father had Long Q-T Syndrome? What the hell did it matter whether Hayward's father had died or how?

Then he remembered the paternity test in the chart.

It couldn't be. Donna was just not the type. But he began to try to fix in his mind exactly what years he and Donna had known Hayward in Florida.

He went back into the room. Alexander was still asleep.

Cameron grabbed the chart and went out with it.


	35. Chapter 35

**Part 35**

"Really, I'm fine, Pete," Zander said, talking to Peter on the phone. "Don't come all the way here. We'll see you in London soon enough."

"You're sure?" Pete asked. "You may as well not lie, because I'll ask Dad about your true condition. And Mom."

"It's all discovered and taken care of," Zander said. "They know what it is and what to do about it."

"I hope so, gee, Alex, I thought you were as strong as a horse," Pete said.

"So did I. I felt like I had been run over at first, but now I'm starting to feel normal. Like I shouldn't be here. Yet they made a big deal about me taking a walk today."

"Take it easy if they say to, Alex."

Zander looked up to see Carly, holding Ginny, at the door, with David right behind her.

"There she is," Zander said, smiling. "My little girl came all the way here to see me." He put his arms out and took her as Carly handed her to him.

"Say hi to Uncle Pete," Zander put the phone to Ginny's ear.

Ginny listened with wide eyes. The phone was one of those toys that talked. "Hi, little Ginny," said the voice. "How is my little niece?"

"Eeeeeeeeee-goooo," said Ginny.

Zander laughed. "That means Hi, Uncle Pete," he said into the phone.

"I'll call you back later," Pete said. "After I've talked to Mom and Dad and possibly the doctor on your case."

"OK," Zander laughed, and they hung up.

"We have a nice surprise for you," Carly said, looking back at David.

"She _is_ a nice surprise," he said, kissing Ginny's head. "My little puppet."

"We mean something else," David said. "We took her EKG, and she's normal."

"You did?" Zander's eyes brightened up. "Already? I didn't even know you could do one on a baby."

"Sure you can," David said. "They turn out most accurate. Kid has no idea what it's all about and doesn't get nervous."

"So you're sure? Hers is OK?"

"Yes," David said, smiling.

"Good girl!" Zander said to Ginny, as if she had accomplished a great feat. He kissed her again. "That's my girl. A proper Q and T wave."

"Q-T interval," David corrected, laughing.

David left Zander playing with Ginny and went into the break room for a cup of coffee. He was thinking about beta blockers and wondering which one he would choose and whether or not Monica was likely to make the same choice, when one of the nurses said to him, "You're a cardiologist, aren't you?"

"Yes," he said. "Not on the staff here, though."

"Oh, I know. But it's lucky that you are one when your son has a heart problem."

He stared, wondering how she had gotten that information.

"At least, I assume he's your son," she said. "From that he looks like you and I've seen you and his mother talking."

"Oh," he said. "That's really a coincidence. I'm just a family friend, actually."

"Oh, sorry," she said, leaving. "Family friend, my foot," she said to one of her colleagues later. "He was a little more than a friend, I would bet."

David looked up now to see he was alone in the break room, but that Cameron loomed in the doorway. He had a chart in his hand. David realized it couldn't be anybody's other than Alexander's, unless one of the doctors on staff had suddenly taken to consulting with Cameron.

"So," Cameron said, slammed the door shut behind him.

David put down the coffee cup, and winced. Something was dead wrong, he could already tell. He wondered if Cameron had heard the nurse.

"So it's your belief, that adultery and a DNA test makes you into a father, whereas, 22 years of headaches does not."

"No," David said. "It just makes me the source of genetic information."

"And yet you've known this all along!"

"Not for certain, until a few weeks ago."

"That's why you're here all the time!"

"All the time? No, I came with a medical history of my side of the family, something we did for the baby's sake. Then this came up, and it obviously had genetic components."

"Yes, your father dying of a sudden cardiac arrest rather adds to the diagnosis here, doesn't it? But I don't suppose anyone was going to enlighten me."

"Not if we could help it, why should we? As you say, you're the one who spent 22 years on the job. I guess you look at it as a job, from your remarks."

"And you are to judge?"

"Yes. Like I would anybody."

"I didn't do a good enough job on the job you assigned me? I guess that's why you honored me with a visit in Florida 12 years ago."

"Yes."

"And why didn't you do anything then?"

"Donna didn't want to. I thought I did what was best for him, that's all. You might have agreed."

"And the effect on me and on Peter wasn't to be considered? Though I probably need a genetic test done of myself and Peter now."

"Cameron! Donna will tell you. You don't."

"I'm supposed to believe her?"

"I don't know about your relationship with her before I knew either of you, but you should have realized for yourself how bad it was by the time Alexander was born."

"And your interference has nothing to do with it! And now you think after 22 years you can suddenly take on the role of father?"

"No, I don't. And in fact I expected Alexander to dislike it greatly, to be angry at Donna and upset for you. But he's not all that upset. That should be what bothers you more than anything else."

"So now you think you know what should upset me. As you think you know how I should have raised my son. My son. For you have done nothing, nothing, in 22 years. Your little surreptitious visit to Florida 12 years ago does nothing. Your contributions 22 years ago do nothing."

"You're right. Nothing but help diagnose the Long Q-T Syndrome."

"As to that, your keeping it a secret could have killed him in his first 22 years."

"You could be right."

Cameron threw the chart on the table with a surprising violence. He opened the door and walked out.

David picked up the chart. Stupid, he thought. Why didn't we realize they might put this paternity test in here? He realized how old fashioned this hospital was. Anything whatsoever having to do with Zander Smith found its way there eventually into this chart with amazing efficiency, apparently.

David read the paternity report for Ginny. The one on himself and Zander had only their birth dates, but Cameron knew Zander's and could easily check up on David's, it was two and a half years behind Cameron's, and once suspicious, all Cameron had to do was call the State Medical Board of Pennsylvania and confirm it.

How he had gotten suspicious now looked incredibly easy to foresee. Donna herself had started being aware of the issue through physical resemblance. It had convinced David himself. And that nurse! Cameron must have overhead something even before.

He should warn Donna. And Alexander. Oh no, he thought, I hope Cameron has the sense not to bring this up with Zander now. He started to quickly walk back to Zander's room.


	36. Chapter 36

**Part 36**

David ran down the long hall to Zander's room. Fortunately, it was dark, Zander was asleep, and Donna was sitting there.

He leaned against the doorjamb, relieved. Donna looked up.

Thinking he looked troubled, she got up and went to the doorway.

"What is it?" she asked.

"We're busted," he answered. "This hospital is so good at filing they put the paternity test in the chart. And they don't consider the patient's parents might look at the chart, which is not normally something they'd do. Cameron read it and just confronted me about it."

Donna looked shocked for a moment, but then said, "I really don't care, except I don't like the idea of him talking to Alexander about it."

"He knows not to upset a cardiac patient."

"Since his work is his whole identity, I think you could count on his professional sense."

"It's not quite his whole identity. He thinks of himself as a parent, too. He was talking about how he did all the work, which he did. He's already questioning that he's the father of Peter."

"I hadn't met you yet then."

"Could be somebody else."

"Oh, right, he'd think that."

"He's angry. He'll confront you."

"Not likely. He thinks of me with such contempt that it doesn't matter to him what I might say. I wonder if he would tell Peter. I can't really say."

"Are you worried about how Peter could take it?"

"No, I guess not, really. He'll be shocked but it won't make any difference to him."

"It could make a difference in how Cameron treats him. Do you think he'd really make Peter do a DNA test?"

"I don't know, but he'll find he's Peter's father."

"Pressure him more, because he's his only son?"

"Maybe."

"What do you think it'll do to Alexander that he knows?"

"I don't even know," Donna said. "He'll either treat Alexander the same or just leave him alone because he won't count. I kind of think he'll treat him the same, actually. Maybe without even bringing it up that he knows."

"He's spent so much time on the project of raising this kid."

"Right. He's got to finish it. Whatever that means."

"From what he said to me, he still thinks it counts. I'm sure Alexander does, too."

"They are father and son by relationship if not by biology," Donna said. She sighed. "I'm going to tell Peter, with any luck before Cam does, and I'm going to tell Alexander, unless you think that's too much for him now."

"Not from you. It's the sudden accusation from Cam that would be. So I'm keeping guard on this doorway whether Cam likes it or not."

"OK. Brenda and I will help you. I'm going to call Peter right now."

"How are you feeling today?" Brenda asked. She had knocked lightly on the open door and stood there with schoolbooks.

"Great. I don't know why I'm here."

She came in and gave him the school books.

"Thanks," he said. "Can't let you get too far ahead of me," he added, grinning.

She sat down on the bed and put her hands on his shoulders. "You know you get a huge handicap over this," she said. "No stress."

"Some people from work came over," he said. "It was nice. The ones who saw me on the floor looked relieved. It freaked them out."

"I'll bet," she said. She leaned over and kissed him on the lips. He put the books down and put his arms around her.

Monica, Donna and David were in the doorway. Brenda turned, hearing them. Monica had a small cardboard box and some papers.

"Do I get out of here soon?" Zander asked, as soon as he saw them.

"Soon," Monica said. "When I see how you react to this medication."

Brenda got up to make way for her.

Monica explained how he should take it and told him to read the instructions on the side effects. "Just tell me if any of them are really bad and we can switch medications. There are several to choose from. Or if you have any other attacks, because that would mean you need another one or one that is for more serious cases."

"OK," Zander read for awhile.

"Impotence," he said, grinning. "No way!"

"It's rare," Monica said, rolling her eyes, "and like I said, I'll change the medication."

"There's a drug called Libidnizone that can counteract that," David said, grinning.

Zander laughed. Donna and Brenda looked at him, while Monica rolled her eyes again.

"That's one of David's experimental drugs," he explained to Donna and Brenda.

"Which he will _not_ be prescribing," Monica said, tersely.

"I'd have gone for the memory wipe-out drug a couple of years ago," Zander said. "But not now," he added, looking at Brenda.

"Certainly not," David laughed.

When Monica had gone out, Donna asked David, "Do you think he should study, now?"

"As long as it's not stressful," was the answer.

"This is a great disease," Zander said. "Anything I don't like to do, and all I have to say is - this is stressing me out - I'd better quit."

"Yeah, that's it," David said.

"For now, anyway," Donna said, with a smile.

"Both professors said they would do whatever they could to help," Brenda said.

Donna glanced at David. "It's important you not talk to your father, Alexander, until you're absolutely stable. If he comes in and none of us are here, call a nurse and tell them you want him out."

"Oh, I can handle him."

"Don't try it right now," David said.

"Promise us," Donna added.

"OK," Zander said. "I got my stress excuse."

"He got a look at your chart," Donna said, putting her hand on Zander's arm.

He stared for a moment.

"Oh," he said, light dawning.

"They filed your paternity test right in," Donna said.

"Are you sure he saw it?"

"He talked to David about it," Donna said.

"What did he say?" Zander asked, anxiously, looking at David.

"Can you guess?" David asked.

This turned out to be a good response. It lightened Zander's mind to think about it that way, right away. "He lectured you that you're only a sperm donor," he said, already starting to be amused more than anxious. "You don't know anything about raising children and can't start now."

"Yes, exactly."

"He condemned you for adultery."

"Yes."

"As if Mom had nothing to do with it."

"Pretty much. Yeah, he implied it was all my doing."

"Pete!" Zander said, getting anxious again, "he'll tell Pete!"

"I did that," said Donna, "I got to him first. He's OK. It makes no difference to him."

"Dad'll wonder if he's Pete's father," Zander said.

"Exactly," David said again. "You do know him, don't you?"

"Which he is," Donna said.

"Mom, I wasn't going to ask you that."

"I know," she smiled. "I'm just not big on secrets any more. They don't hold."

"That's for sure," Zander said. "Yeah, let's tell all! Well, you can quit worrying about Dad. I can handle him now that I know he knows."

"No! Not yet," Donna said. "Promise?"

"OK, OK," Zander laughed. He relaxed. "OK. Maybe the memory wipe-out drug would work on Dad."

"Libidnizone could cheer him up," David said, mischievously.

"I wouldn't wish that on any woman on earth," Zander said. "Maybe you can come up with a personality-creating drug."

"I'll work on it," David said, laughing.


	37. Chapter 37

**Part 37**

Carly went with Ginny to the nurse's station on the floor where Bobbie was working. The nurses in the immediate vicinity stopped to fuss over the baby.

"Her EKG is normal," she said.

"Oh, that's good," Bobbie said, obviously relieved, taking her granddaughter.

"I keep thinking what if she'd had this disorder and I had no idea she did, because I'd lost contact with Zander and Sonny thought she was his," Carly said. "Thank you for talking me out of that."

"You would have done it. I was only a sounding board."

"It would have been two generations for her, too," Carly said. "With Zander's own paternity not being the way it was on record."

"Some things it is best not to fool with," Bobbie said. "Like mother nature. Right, doll?" she said, to Ginny.

"I'm back," Donna said, to Zander, as he woke up.

"Didn't know you left," he said, grinning.

"I took Brenda home to get some sleep. David was here. Now I'm here, and he's on the phone to Pine Valley Hospital about his patients."

"Sounds like some sort of guard duty. Not necessary. Really."

"Yes it is, and don't worry about it."

"I'm good. The medication isn't killing me. Everybody should get back to their lives."

"Not yet."

"How about yours?"

"My what?"

"Your life. All the stress you've had lately would be enough to kill anybody."

"I'm fine. I'm just happy. Glad I'm not depressed and I can be of some use."

"How do those drugs do that?"

"They increase the pathways in your brain and so you can think positive as well as negative. Something about depression closes off those paths - some chemical that keeps them open gets into short supply. Anyway, you can see the same things differently."

"How much better do you feel from getting away from Dad? Maybe that's most of it."

"Maybe!"

"Have you gone out on dates?"

"What a question, Silly! As if being married to your father for 20 years isn't enough to get any woman to swear off men forever!"

"Well, he wrecked 20 years for you, don't let him wreck the next 20."

"I have children to catch up with. And a grandchild. I see these books you were reading about fatherhood. It's wonderful you would do that. I understand why you don't want to just follow your instincts."

"Yeah, I didn't like reading in the first chapter in one of these about how you learn from your own father and do it his way without thinking."

"You wouldn't be exactly like that. You have a good heart."

"It's not so good from what Dr. Quartermaine and David tell me."

"You know what I mean, silly!"

"Do you know anything about Dad's father?"

"I didn't know him very well. He died when Pete was little. Before you were born, I think. He was polite. Aloof. Friendly on the surface, but you weren't going to find out much from him."

"Sounds just like Dad."

"He wasn't quite as tough. I think he'd have gone easier on you. Maybe Dad will mellow out with age, too."

"I hope he mellows out with _something._ One of these books suggests I find out about him and Dad. But that doesn't look too good. I can't imagine Dad telling me, or even asking."

"I wish I had talked to Uncle Carl more. He wasn't that talkative either."

"What a family. You didn't marry him for love, did you? I mean, it's impossible any woman could fall for him."

Donna laughed. "It doesn't matter. I love you and Peter. Regardless of how you came about, and I wouldn't change it. Think of you and Carly. Obviously your relationship never worked out, but now you can't regret it, or your daughter wouldn't be who she is."

"We almost put her in the same situation I am. Growing up thinking Sonny - that's Carly's husband - was her father."

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean that to criticize you, Mom. I'm just glad I didn't do it."

"I know. Still, I'm sorry you had to find this out now."

"It's OK. You saved my life."

"Hayward," David heard as he put the phone down.

Cameron's sharp voice irritated him out of thinking about his cases at Pine Valley Hospital.

They were in the doctors' lounge, which professional courtesy had allowed as a refuge for both of them.

"I've been looking into you, Hayward," Cameron said. "Dr. Martin at Pine Valley Hospital told me about your illegal uses of unapproved drugs and your suspension."

"Well, it saved somebody's life."

"He said that was your excuse."

"That's an excuse?"

"Alexander already has the same problem, of doing whatever he thinks he should do, without regard to the law, or any other restriction. The last thing he needs is you taking over and encouraging him. He's already a danger to other people."

"I am not trying to take over. What are you talking about? There's nothing to take over. And he cut you off before he ever heard of me."

"Obviously you don't know of some of the things he did during that time. And _without_ you encouraging him."

"To do what? What is it you believe I'm going to encourage him to do? And why is he likely to listen to me? Didn't you tell me he never listens to anybody?"

"I think you will tell him what he wants to hear, for one thing."

"If he listens to me at all, it's because I haven't spent 22 years telling him he's a jerk. If he doesn't listen to you, it's your doing."

"Well, that's the advantage of not raising him."

"An advantage I and every other genetic stranger has."

"You'll excuse me thinking he was like me," Cameron said, cuttingly. "Since I wasn't in on your little secret."

"Now I get it. You came here to tell me his faults, which you seem to see in great abundance, are genetic and have nothing to do with all his years with you. While laboring under the mistaken notion that he inherited them from you, you treated him as you were treated, a process you believe resulted in a fine upstanding citizen, you, who now has figured out why this treatment didn't do the same thing for him."

"You're in way beyond your depth, Hayward."

"In what?"

"Alexander is too much for you to handle."

"I'm not trying to handle him! And you should only be concerned with his health right now."

"His long term chances of survival depend on his getting control over himself."

"Which he can't do without your lectures."

"Well, he's certainly not going to learn it with you encouraging him. You think you can just step in and play Mr. Nice Guy, when - "

"You're driving me nuts! Is this your way of saying you still care about him? Too bad you can't just tell him. You'd carry way more weight than I could."

"Now that you've given him this great ammunition," Cameron sneered, "without telling me first, I don't see what good it will do."

"You're done, anyway. He's twenty-two. He's a father himself."

"Now I can see for sure this is way over your head. Do you not see the danger to that baby?"

"Go away, Cam!"

"I'm sure you wish I would," Cameron said as David went out the door.


	38. Chapter 38

**Part 38**

"He comes upon a person," David said to Donna, "suddenly and without warning, and you are under attack."

"I know," Donna said, sympathetically.

"From now on I'm going to look for him. Start conversations with him. See if that gets him off guard. Does it?"

"I don't know," Donna said. She laughed. "It's not done. Everyone avoids Cam. That's why he sneaks up on you, as you see."

"And has control that way."

"_That's_ what he'd want!"

"In his twisted way, he cares about Alexander, and he's going to sneak up on him again."

"I don't like that."

"Maybe it'd be better if Zander could go to him. He'd be prepared, have control over time and place, and Cam might be really unnerved."

"I don't know if he would be unnerved or not. But it would be a big surprise. It might have that effect. I like the idea, though. It would let Alexander handle it without that element of being sneaked up on and having to handle it when he may not feel prepared."

Zander came to the doorway. "I've got to take a walk down the hall. I'll go crazy. I feel fine."

"OK," David said. He and Donna walked with Zander.

"David just had a brilliant idea about your Dad," Donna said.

"Oh, yeah?" Zander smiled. "You thought up a drug that will turn him into a person?"

David laughed. "I wish I could. But it's that he'll come upon you again, I'm sure. I thought some time, not now, not necessarily soon, but some time, you decide when to talk to him about it by sneaking up on him instead of the other way around, the way he usually does."

"I could try. I don't know how to find him, though," Zander said. He looked amused. "No one ever does that. People avoid him; they don't go looking for him. You're right, he won't expect that. You're a real pioneer, David."

"I'll stalk him for you, Alex," Donna said. "Maybe Brenda will help me. Find out where he goes."

"No, I'll do it," David said. "I'm in the same profession. Gives me an advantage, knowing how he lives."

"You don't have to do that, David. You've got a life," Zander said. "You don't deserve getting pulled into this family drama any more than you've already gotten stuck with."

"I'm going to help you with this," David answered.

They went out onto a terrace. "Fresh air," Zander said, happily, taking a deep breath.

"He's been reading books on fatherhood," Donna told David.

"Yeah, I'm not satisfied with just doing the opposite of what I think Dad does wrong," Zander said, leaning on the balcony and looking out. He'd read that this was what he was likely to do.

"If it's any comfort, I think he really does do what he thinks he should do," David said. "He really believes you need reigning in. He seems to think you are some sort of extra powerful force, that will be a danger to the world if not brought down a peg or two. From what he told me I also think it is very clear he was like that, or thinks he was, and his father treated him this way and it worked, in his opinion."

"That's exactly what I was reading about," Zander said. "How his father treated him - that's something I should find out about. Mom and I were talking and we can't come up with that much. How did you get it out of him?"

"He thinks he's competing with me now, and that I'm going to encourage you to follow your true nature, and that's going to be a danger to the world. I believe he thinks it's a danger to you too, but he won't admit he cares about that."

It was quiet a while. Then Zander said to David, "Would you have encouraged me to follow my true nature? You don't have to answer that right off. I know it's all speculation. I only want to know what you think. Think about it awhile if you'd rather. I know it's a lot to ask."

"I have thought about it."

"Really? What do you think?"

"It's only based on what I know of you, and that might not be much."

"Base it on you. And your father too. You remember him, right? You were twelve when he died, didn't you say?"

"Yes. He owned a pharmaceutical business. He did very well. Later my mother said it was mostly illegal. I'm not sure I believe her entirely. But I think he might have bent the law here and there."

Zander smiled.

"Well," David went on, "He was gone on business a lot. When he was around, he would take me places, talk to me, or play baseball, stuff like that. He thought I was very smart, or, at least, in front of me he only gave the impression he thought I was really smart. Sometimes I would tell him about something I was interested in, and he'd pretend he didn't know anything about it and go on about how great it was I had figured it all out for myself."

"Then Dad could be right."

"Probably. I think you would be way more confident of your brains. You'd do really well in school. Then again, you might have been really arrogant. You're not arrogant, you're a really nice guy. Maybe not because Cam intended it, but because he makes himself so obnoxious to you that you go out of your way to be the opposite. That's not a bad way to handle it, in fact, rather smart. You could see it didn't work well. Everybody avoids him. That can't be good, no matter how he rationalizes it."

"Dad is right. You're telling me I'm smart even with things as they are! But am I really, or do you think I have to be, because I have the genes?"

"That's an intelligent question, too! Really, it is! That's how it happens. You're around your parents and you absorb their opinions. I would have believed that all along, so you would have. Now Cam obviously thinks he has to reign himself in and have control over himself or he'll hurt somebody. He overdid trying to get you to do the same thing."

"I've lost control. I committed the kidnapping."

"How come?"

"To get away from the cops. I let her go right away, as soon as I'd gotten away from them."

"Sounds like a snap judgment to solve a problem. Illegal, but it solved the problem. I've done that."

"Not as violently. But I didn't intend to hurt her."

"But you probably did. Psychologically. Scarred her for life, I imagine. So you have to watch the way you use your brains to avoid hurting someone else, even if you don't intend it. There is some force in there, not always entirely in your control. Now make sure you understand, I'm not judging you. I've miscalculated too, many times. Cam tries to get you to mistrust yourself as a way of reigning these powers in. That only disables them. I'd rather even see them get out of control every once in a while rather than do that."

"I saved her life, too. She had gotten in way over her head. At the time I thought she was part of the plot to frame me. There was a plot to frame me; you can ask even her. I was in the illegal pharmaceutical trade too, you see. A higher up was going to pin a murder on me."

"Goodness, Alex," Donna said. "Do you think Cam knows about all this?"

"It would be easy for him to find out," Zander said. "Even if Emily hadn't told him. But you see, David, Dad is not entirely wrong. I did a lot of harm to Emily by kidnapping her."

"You saved her life," David smiled to himself. "Sometimes you have to do some harm in that process. Cam is like a lot of people. He knows, for example, he has to cut somebody open to save their life by doing heart surgery. He overlooks that and takes it for granted. He's got anesthesia to help him forget cutting somebody open is hurting them. With that, he gets that you have to do that little bit of hurt to get to where you can do something that allows for life to go on. Of course you've got to learn where it is really worth it as best you can, and recognize you're going to make mistakes."

"That's a hard one for Cam," Donna said. "He's a perfectionist. That's a deadly trait. And I think our minds work more on chemical traits than we might like to think. Every family probably learns to deal with its own chemistry. He was applying all his knowledge of Lewis chemistry that didn't apply to you, Alex. He must have been really frustrated. That made him crankier and crankier and less and less patient with you."

"I don't want to be perfectionist or impatient with Ginny."

"You won't be," Donna said. "But that trait led Cam right into expecting you to be good at things without any mistakes. Like hunting."

"I don't even like hunting," Zander said. "I never did. And Dad didn't go that often with us. Maybe we were in over our heads. I made a big mistake."

"He did," Donna said. "That's what he has a hard time with. He tries to avoid blaming himself because he's afraid he can't live with it."

"That I agree with," David said. "He should have let you get in over your head somewhere else. Not with guns. I don't care what he says about me not having experience with being a parent. I'd have known, or maybe almost anybody else would have known, that you shouldn't have been handling a gun when you weren't really all that interested."

"When you say you'd have known," Donna said to David, "it suggests there's some sort of instinct arising out of the genetics."

"Maybe," David said. "I could set it down to personality, but maybe. Cam would say it was spoiling him to let him do what he wanted, or not do what he didn't want, but when it came to something like that I can't imagine taking a kid who wasn't interested in hunting out hunting. Then again, maybe it was the brothers and father doing things together that was the point. With me, Alexander wouldn't have been as close to his brother, and maybe that's a loss, but there's a gain too. Less comparison."

"Cam barely allows for the age difference," Donna said. "He overlooks that, too. Why wouldn't Peter be more mature? He's older."

"Maybe he remembers what Pete did at my age," Zander said. "And thinks I'm behind."

"Everyone's different, though," Donna said. "Even if you were Cam's biological son, you would still be different; there'd be no reason to expect you to be exactly the same. But it would be like Cam to think he should spur you on by saying some other kid could do a thing to get you to prove you could do it, too."

"Did he say stuff like that, Zander?" David asked. "Pete could do that at your age, whatever it was?"

"I don't remember him specifically saying it," Zander said. "But you know, I think I felt like that was something he thought. But maybe it's not fair, it could have been my idea."

"Cam had a lot of say in what your ideas were," David said. "And it wouldn't be a surprise if you got compared to Cam too. Did he say that when he was your age himself he could do such and such a thing?"

"I don't remember that either, not a particular case," Zander said. "But you know, I feel like he must have either said that or really heavily implied it. I know for sure he went hunting as a kid. He bragged about a lot of things he did when he was a kid. He was 10 years old and was able to bag birds or take deer. He may well have had way more time than he gave me and Pete, to practice, too. Maybe he didn't mean it as a criticism of us and was only telling stories."

"It should have been clear he didn't expect you to do as well without the experience," Donna said. "And his demeanor wouldn't have been right, for just telling stories."

"Right," Zander said. "It was like he was always pressuring you. Me, I mean. Me and Pete. I think I always looked for what it was he was pressuring for no matter what he did or said. It's like I look for an underlying motive for everything he says. That's why I avoid him. He represents pressure. Sometimes you're just too damn tired to play. And he expects you too, and then you feel inadequate because you're not up to it, and that must be a flaw, like laziness."

"I have a feeling Ginny won't get enough pressure," David said. He smiled. "But that's OK. Nothing's perfect."

Zander smiled too. "And she'll never get compared to any other kid. Not by me."

"You wouldn't have had as much of that," David said. "You wouldn't be as close to your brother, and not just from logistics, either. But I wouldn't have regretted that, because you'd have had Leo, and his being your uncle and not your brother makes a difference even if he's not that much older. And it might not be entirely too late, for you and him."

"You've really helped me a lot, David," Zander said. "I feel way better about being able to be the father of Ginny. You haven't come along entirely too late, either."

"Well, I may be in way over my head like Cam says," David said. "But if I can be any help, I want to."


	39. Chapter 39

**Part 39**

Zander looked up to see Carly, holding Ginny, with Michael standing beside her. He smiled.

"I hope you don't mind me bringing Michael," she said. "But he asks about you."

"No, of course not, come in, policeman."

"Hi Zanner," Michael said. He came up to Zander. "How's your heart?" he asked.

Zander laughed. Carly was laughing, too. "I explained to him that the doctors were fixing your heart," she said.

"It's good," Zander said. "It's almost fixed. Maybe they will let you listen to it – if one of the doctors comes in with a stethoscope." He lifted Michael up. "But in the meantime you can listen with your ears," he said. "Here, put your ear up to my chest, like this."

"It's working," Michael said, listening.

"That's good," Zander said.

Michael got down after awhile and started playing. Zander held Ginny, and shook a little rattle for her. 

"Thank you for telling me about her," he said. "I can't say it enough now. I can only imagine how David feels. I'm just glad you told me."

"Yeah," she said. "Me too."

Bobbie Spencer went down to the floor Zander was on. She was head nurse at the hospital; she'd heard that her daughter and grandchildren had come in. She thought she'd run to Zander's room for a few minutes to say hello to them.

"Hi!" she said to Donna and David who were standing in the doorway. "Are you the guard dogs today?"

"Yes," Donna said. "This is a friend of ours, Dr. Hayward. David, this is Bobbie Spencer, Carly's mother."

"Her birth mother anyway," Bobbie said. "She found me a few years ago, then her adopted mother died. I'm full time grandmother, after all, though."

"Carly's adopted mother is the one Ginny is named after," Donna told David.

"Carly told me Zander was having a run-in with his father at the time of his attack," Bobbie said. "And I guess that he saved Zander's life, too. I thought Carly might have been exaggerating a little; she dislikes Dr. Lewis so much. How is Zander?"

"Good," Donna said. "Complaining about still being here. The medication seems to be working. I'm not ready for an more run-ins with Cam, though."

"Yeah," Bobbie said. "I know. I don't like him much, either. I know I can say that to you, because an ex-husband is - well, I have a couple of those, and nobody ever offends me by discussing their bad points."

Donna laughed. "That's for sure," she said.

Carly and Michael came to the door. "Grandma!" Michael said. "Can I have your doctorscope? I wanna listen to Zanner's heart."

Bobbie took the stethoscope from around her neck. "OK, Michael, I'll show you how." She went back into the room with him.

"Any sign of him?" Carly asked, coming to the door.

"Not so far," Donna said.

"I'm stalking him," David said. "He went to the airport. Doesn't mean he won't come back. He flies back and forth quite easily."

"From Florida?" Carly asked.

"Yes. He went to Pine Valley this time, though."

"He did?" Donna exclaimed. "Why would he do that, David?"

"Obviously to dig up dirt," Carly said.

"He already started on that," David said. "He told me he had talked to the head of staff there and mentioned him by name."

"I'm amazed he even cares," said Carly. "Why doesn't he go home to Florida and stay there?"

"I think he cares about Zander's condition," David said.

"Then what's he doing in Pine Valley?" Carly demanded.

"Maybe he's really afraid of my treatment theories," David said.

"That's been pretty much decided on, and as a conventional treatment," Donna said. "He's got Dr. Quartermaine."

"Maybe he doesn't trust her not to listen to David," Carly said. "And he thinks he can get around not being Ginny's grandfather. As far as I'm concerned, you're the grandfather," she said to David.

"It's similar to you and your mother, I see, Carly," David said. "But it's different in a couple ways. That's up to Zander. Cam's his father, and he's still alive, and Zander may want to treat that the same way he would without this issue."

"I know he doesn't want Cam around Ginny. He said, because Cam is toxic," Carly said. "He's too toxic. That's what he said. Since the day she was born."

"Did you two ever talk to that lawyer again?" Donna asked Carly.

"Not yet. This happened. But we'll go."

"Good idea," said Donna. "You've got to know as much as you can. You can lose a lot assuming you know things. Everybody thinks they know the rules, but they aren't always what everybody thinks they are."


	40. Chapter 40

**Part 40**

David met Brenda in the hotel lobby in the morning.

"I don't know whether to go to classes and then to the hospital or straight to the hospital," she said.

"You could go to the classes," he said. "He should even be getting out in the next couple of days."

"Then to figure out how we keep the ogre from talking to him."

"We're thinking Zander could go on the offense. Go to him and say what he has to say. Put the timing into his control."

"Good! It's the unexpectedness that's such a drag. I was there the day Zander opened the door and saw Cameron standing there, after four years of not seeing him. Cold as he could be. I couldn't believe my eyes or my ears. I was right there. Damn that man!"

"He's not too popular right now, that's for sure."

"I didn't meet him that much earlier than you, so from my point of view you could be his father just as well."

"I didn't do anything, though. There's his whole life before he met you."

"Oh, I know, but as to that, you've already done more, in a few weeks, than that jerk did in years, because everything he did was so negative."

Cameron had flown back from Pine Valley that morning. He went to the hotel, then walked down on the docks, then ended up in Kelly's Diner.

David had vowed to walk in on him next rather than be walked up on. He waited for Cam to look down at a newspaper, so as to maximize the element of surprise.

"Well, Cam," he said, sitting down right across from him. "I have to hand it to you, you've managed to alienate all the women in your son's life to the point where all I have to do is show up and I get total acceptance. How did you manage that? It's a feat nobody else could match. Someone would like you in spite of yourself if you weren't so good at ticking everybody off."

The surprise, to David's disappointment, had no apparent effect, at least, not from an offensive attack from David.

Cam just looked up and stared coldly.

"First, of course, you've got his mother," David went on. "She dislikes you. In moderation, but it's clearly dislike and she'd keep you from her son as long as possible. Then there's the mother of your granddaughter, she despises you with all her might. Then there's his girlfriend who hates you with the heat of many suns."

"And these are people whose opinion is supposed to carry any weight?"

"You mean it doesn't bother you?"

"It should? A thirty-two year old woman who is spending her time with a boy ten years her junior."

"They're going to college."

"Since he should have graduated, last year, and she should have graduated 11 years ago, that's not real impressive. Then a thirty-two year old woman, married to a criminal, who has a child by a boy ten years her junior."

"Nevertheless, it's your granddaughter. And Donna?"

"You already know her poor choices."

"Yes, I guess I don't need your recital there. But it must really get to you how she pulled one over on you."

"Pulled one over on me?"

"She did pull one over on you. A really big one. I know you can hardly stand having been outsmarted by Donna for twenty-two years, which leads to Alexander, whose faults you're also pretty dedicated about pointing out."

"Those are genetic," Cameron said, drinking some coffee.

"Is that a joke?" David's eyes started lighting up. "Is there a sense of humor in there somewhere?"

There was no answer. Cam smiled the slightest smile.

"You need help, Cam," David said. "But we can trust you not to sneak up on Alexander again, is that right?"

"That's right."

"Then how do you plan to get around the three of them?" David went on. "Carly, Donna, Brenda. All three will do anything to keep you away? You may as well have stayed in Pine Valley for all the chance you're going to get to talk to your son."

Cameron looked away, but seemed a little uncomfortable at having been caught going to Pine Valley.

"Dr. Lewis?" A young girl was standing there. "Would you tell me what's going on, with Zander? My mother says he's OK, but that's all she'll tell me. The doctor and patient privilege, she says. I know he's in the hospital because somebody I know at the country club told me."

"Here's another one," David said. "Speaking to you, at least."

"No," Cameron said, "This one is a victim. He's fine now, we believe," he said, turning to Emily. "The incident allowed us to detect and treat a congenital condition."

"You're the kidnap victim?" David asked her.

"Yes," Cameron said, before Emily could answer.

"Who are you?" she asked David. "His uncle or something?"

"Yeah, something like that," David answered.

"Yes," Cameron added. "He's a _relative_."

"Well," she said, "Well – er, thank you."

"You could probably go visit him if you really wanted to," Cameron said, as she left.

"I'll try that. Thank you," she said, looking at each of them before she walked off.

"She's a victim, you say. Yet she cares." David got up. "How do you explain that?"

"That I raised him so well."

"You need help, Cam."

"I'll call you when I need you," Cameron said, sarcastically.


	41. Chapter 41

**Part 41**

Emily stood at the door.

"OK, come in," Zander said.

"Are you sure, dear?" Donna said. "You look a little tense."

"It's all right, Mom."

"I'm right outside," Donna said. She looked at Emily and went out.

Emily sat down.

"Do you feel all right?" she asked.

"Yes, now I do."

"I saw your dad and your uncle at Kelly's. Your dad said you were all right. What happened?"

"My uncle? The only one I have is in Florida. Mom would've told me if he was coming."

"Well, that's what I said he was then. I forget what they said, but they said he was a relative. Anyway, they were talking there, and I went over and asked your dad about what happened. My mom won't say anything about patients she's treating. Somebody at the country club told me you went to the hospital. I was afraid you got shot or something."

"No, nothing like that."

"What was it?"

"My heart has an out-of-whack rhythm."

"Oh, that's strange. I never thought of there being anything wrong with you."

"Thanks, I think."

"I wanted to tell you something," she said, nervously.

"A while back, you did."

"Well, I only wanted to tell you, I mean, I thought maybe since things had changed – well, see, I never had any other boyfriend. I just said that. I thought I wouldn't walk and so I thought the best thing for you was to let you go."

"I wondered if you might do that. But you knew you would be able to walk, that's what every doctor was saying when you left."

"It seemed like it was taking forever, and that they must be wrong. I know it was stupid to lose faith like that. But I was there month after month and nothing seemed to change. It finally started to, and then it all came back almost at once, but all the months at the beginning were really hopeless."

"Why not just tell me that?"

"You wouldn't feel free, and I'd be a burden, and I wouldn't like that."

"Oh, you wouldn't like that, so to hell with me and how much just dumping me for another guy would hurt."

"That's not how I meant it. I mean, I'm trying to explain. I did it because I love you and it was so you could have a good life."

"OK. Well, I have this heart thing, I'm not perfect, so I'll let you go, too."

"That's not how I meant it."

"Why not? Don't you do to others as you would have them do to you? It must be that you expected me to let you go if the same kind of thing happened to me."

She looked stunned.

"Well, Emily, it must be what you'd want in that case," Zander said. "Why would you have thought I was better off otherwise?"

She looked away.

"I'm tired of people who give me up for my own good," he went on. "I've had enough of that. I think I'll stick with the selfish ones from now on. The ones that need me."

"You don't understand," she said, tearfully. "Well, I won't talk more about it now. I don't want to stress you out."

"By all means, go away," he said. "I know that it's for my own good. I really appreciate how considerate you are."

Donna came in as Emily went out. She looked at Emily for a second. "Are you all right, dear?" she asked Zander. She went over and started arranging the blankets on the bed around him. He had been feeling so well he had been getting dressed and sitting on top of the bed or on a chair. But now Donna took a quilt Brenda had brought in and started fussing around him with it.

"I'm fine, Mom," was all he said. "Cut it out," he said, laughing. "I'm going to study European History for awhile, in fact. And it is not stressful. Well, maybe the beheading of Marie Antoinette is, a little. But I'll live."

Donna went to the windowsill and found the textbook, and then handed it to Zander, smiling. "Not too much," she said.

Later Donna saw that European History had put Zander to sleep. She took the book away as gently as she could. She went to the doorway and scanned the waiting room for the millionth time. The tall and imposing figure of Cam haunted every incoming hallway in her imagination, so she was afraid the real one could escape her.

She saw Brenda coming in with relief.

"European History, or the medication," she said, tilting her head toward Zander.

Brenda went in and put her back pack down on a chair. She kissed Zander on the forehead, then went back to Donna.

"It could be European History," Brenda said. "It can put me to sleep and I don't have any medication in my system."

"And yet the beheading of Marie Antoinette is so exciting," Donna said.

Brenda laughed, quietly. They stood in the doorway. "Marie Antoinette," Brenda said. "The mighty can fall. I wonder if that applies to Cam."

"Would that it did!"

"You know, I have to ask you something. If you don't mind."

"I don't."

"Were you ever really in love with him?"

"Probably not. My family and his family belonged to this upper class old money sort of society. You know a little of that?"

"Not so much. My father had money but it was his company. I don't think my grandfather was spectacularly rich. In fact, my father got wealthy by working his way up. I mean, he didn't have a fancy education. That's why it meant so much to him that my sister and I have one. When I didn't do well, it floored him. He'd roll over in his grave that I'm going to PCU. Now you might think it is admirable, because I started in my thirties. A reasonable person would. But to my father it would just be a low rent university of no standing, and way too late. He wanted us to graduate from Harvard. Julia managed to graduate from Princeton, so he was happy with her. But anyway I'm rattling along about me when I wanted to ask about you."

"No problem. I'd want to ask about you someday anyway. See, the marriage was perfect from the society point of view. His family and my family and our ages and his profession, his great future. And Cam is the type who wouldn't have a problem with marrying the right woman, like that, and the type, I'm sure you can already agree, who wouldn't have thought about how he hadn't fallen in love with me. I complained to my mother that I didn't love him, and she said that only happens in the movies, and that eventually you love your husband anyway. You have children and shared memories and a shared life, and that is what love is anyway."

"Had you ever been in love with someone else?"

"No, and it was really bad luck, since it helped Mother's arguments seem more persuasive. And other people said it was a teen-aged thing that didn't last. I hadn't happened to have had my teen-aged fling, and thought I should have it, I suppose, before settling down with Mr. Socially Desirable and right. So I never had much faith in any of it."

"Everyone you knew said the same thing?"

"If they said anything about it. I suspected some people really had all that romance and flowers, and that those that didn't just didn't want to believe it, that they were missing out on what they couldn't just go and get. People in that social class don't like uncontrolled things. Everything has its rules and regulations."

"Yeah. So when you did fall in love, did you get to tell anyone they were wrong?"

"No," Donna laughed. "Not under those conditions. I was married and I had a child, and you put way too much into your child when you think there's no romance in the world. Only your children really justify your marriage. So something I had learned to devalue as much as romance couldn't compete with all that. What you believe can become fact. Romance doesn't last, but Peter will always be there. I don't want someone young like you to think that I was right, though. But I know you have a lot of spirit and would never get into that bind. Even if you had, you'd have up and left. I don't even think I did Peter much good in the long run, but then I was different. When you get to my age you'll realize how dumb you were in your twenties."

"I already think I might have been!"

"You were rebellious enough to stay out of getting married under pressure, and that says a lot for you. And your kids are going to benefit from it and they won't suffer like mine did."

"But you did do something right," Brenda insisted. "I don't go along with the idea you didn't do anything. Either your just being there restricted Cam in his worst ways, or your actions did more that you think they did. Probably both. They turned out OK. Even Zander," she added, grinning.

"I'm glad you think so," Donna said. "I begin to believe at my age now that it's worth more than a hundred degrees from Harvard. Or any career in medicine of whatever profession. Cam put that first. I guess he thought he had to for the kids' sake, but he could have been wrong."

"Something he can never admit, right?" Brenda smiled. "I can hardly believe he's Peter's father, but I'll take your word for it. I mean, it is really possible to have sex with that man?"

Donna laughed. Brenda started to giggle. Then Donna giggled. "My dear," she said, "it's better than talking to him."

Both of them would have exploded into laughter, except that they didn't want to wake up Zander. They ended up with their hands over their mouths, looking at each other with suppressed merriment.

David came up to them.

"I'm glad there's some fun around here," he said. They both straightened up.

"We were discussing Cam," Brenda said.

"If that can get you laughing, you must be in a really good mood," he said. "I just talked to him. He did say he won't sneak up on Zander."

"Really, that's good!" Donna said. "I was kind of expecting the opposite. He'd come back from Pine Valley with some list of the sins of David Hayward and come back and seek out Alexander to tell him those."

"It's a reasonable assumption," David said. "But maybe he means that list for you, or someone else?"

"Maybe Carly," Donna said. "Or even Dr. Quartermaine. Me, no, what I think is beneath contempt to him."

"Are you sure?" David asked her.

"It's strange," Brenda chimed in. "Because he thinks Zander's a criminal, he's not going to think your entire rap sheet will scare Zander away. Isn't it too white collar for that?"

"I guess," David said, almost laughing, "Carly, maybe, but when I talked to him he said Carly was married to a criminal."

"That's correct," Brenda said. "So it wouldn't scare Carly away, for that matter, if Zander's didn't, could yours?"

"He's arming himself with knowledge, for general purposes," Donna suggested. "In case it's useful. That's a Cam-like thing."

"OK," Brenda said.

"How is Zander?" David asked.

"A little stressed when the girl came by," Donna said. "Emily, is that her name?"

"So she did visit him," David said. "She came over to Cam and I when we were in that coffee shop. She wanted to know how he was."

"She was here a little while. Not very long. I stayed about here, and it never got heated or anything. She left, then he waved me away from fussing over him and started to study that history book."

"I hope she didn't put him down or anything," Brenda said. "Or try to get him feeling guilty. Little witch."

"I'll pull her away next time," Donna laughed.

Donna and Brenda had gone for a cup of coffee when Zander woke up.

"They'll be back soon," David told Zander.

"It's OK, everybody doesn't have to stay tethered to this room."

"Forget it. We're not leaving. So you survived a visit from Emily."

"Yeah, it was a surprise, too."

"She cares how you are."

"Yeah, maybe, I guess. Can I ask you about something?"

"Anything you want to."

"I don't know why, but I'm curious. I feel like I'm prying, though."

"Ask anyway."

"Thank you. I've just never seen anybody so similar to me. Even just physically."

"Did anyone ever think you looked like somebody in Cam's family?"

"No. It would be funny if they had. I always thought I was some kind of throwback, I guess. I don't look much like Mom either."

"I can see a little of your mom in you."

"Really? No one else ever said that. Anyway, you said you got divorced three times."

"That comes of putting work first. You won't do that."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. You have a little girl already, but you don't know what your career will be. You're devoted to her, and reading books on fatherhood and even trying to find out all you can about every type of father you have."

Zander laughed. "OK. I feel better about that. Still, I wanted to know one thing - what were their jobs, or what did they do? You don't have to tell me anything else."

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know. Doctor, Doctor and Police Chief."

"What I thought. Nobody low key."

"See, that comes of putting work first, too. I only knew other doctors."

Zander grinned. "So how do you explain the police chief?"

"I started out as a suspect in a case."

"Weird how my life turned out more similar to yours than to Dad's in spite of it all!"

"I don't want you to believe you're doomed to my failures, either," David said, smiling. "I'm not in jail, anyway."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll have my own," Zander said. "But staying out of jail is good."

"It's a start."

"Yeah," Zander laughed. "It's a start."


	42. Chapter 42

**Part 42, PG-13**

Zander and Brenda went to the brownstone, after he had finally been released.

"I'm staying," she said. "I promised. Nobody wants you alone just now."

"Oh, you're staying all right," he grinned. "You didn't need to promise anyone else." 

She smiled, and went over and hugged him.

He tilted her chin up, and kissed her. Then he kissed her again, harder.

"Mmmm, be careful of your heart," she said. "One thing at a time."

"I've felt fine for days," he said, kissing her neck. "I've only been in that hospital up until now because of my - parents - overkill."

"It was Dr. Quartermaine that decided when you got out," she giggled.

"I'm like a starving man," he said, with a wicked grin.

"Well, I'm a starving woman," she said. "But you got to take it easy, one thing at a time, just to humor me. It's not just parents that worry, you know."

"One thing at a time. OK. You first," he grinned again. He kissed her again. "It's way less dangerous than before, when I didn't know. Now I'm on these drugs so that same risk is way lower."

"That's true," she giggled. "Very persuasive."

He picked her up and took her into the bedroom. He dropped her on the bed, laughing, then jumped on top of her. She sighed, and held him tight as he kissed her again.

He felt like there was some sort of extra dimension going on; some aspect that existed that had not been when he had made love with her before. She paid less attention to what she was actually doing and to hold onto him more. He started to understand how she might feel; that it might be easier to be the one in the hospital than to be the one waiting out in the waiting room for a prognosis.

"See," he said, tenderly, "it's OK, I don't fall apart."

"No," she said, leaning up over him. She stroked his hair. "No, you're as good as ever."

"You wouldn't ever leave me for my own good?" he asked.

"No! I'm only worrying about you a little! What brought that on?"

"Emily came and told me she dumped me for my own good. So I wouldn't have a paralyzed girlfriend."

"She did? That witch! Didn't anybody tell her not to stress you out?"

He laughed. "I guess not. Anyway, she can't stress me out that much. I told her I was letting her go for her own good, too, since I have this heart condition."

"Oh, I'll bet she liked that!"

"She should have. Anyway, I don't love you enough to let you go. I hope that doesn't bother you."

"I don't love you that much either," she giggled. "No, you're stuck with me."

"No matter what happens to you?"

"I'm even ten years older already! Someday you'll be with a woman who really looks older than you."

"Oh, bull. Please tell me you plan to let me suffer the consequences of that!"

"As long as I can get away with."

"I told her I was sick of people who do that, and I prefer to be needed."

"OK. I need you. I want to burden you a great deal."

"Thank you."

"I even want to have your children. But I guess you're going to argue about that now."

"No."

"No? When they could inherit Long Q-T syndrome?"

"I was reading about it. If the women have children, then I shouldn't be fussy about it, I guess."

"Women?"

"Women who have the syndrome. Who have it themselves. If they have children, then I'll be a wimp for saying I won't. I mean, women physically have the baby. You do know that, don't you? There's no exception for models."

"Yes, I know that." She hit him playfully.

"But do you really want to? I mean, you."

"Yes. I don't want to have anyone else's children."

"Even with the risk of QRSTUV syndrome?"

"Even with that alphabetical risk," she laughed again and leaned down to kiss him.

Donna was nervous, but she knocked determinedly at the door of another room at the Port Charles Hotel.

Cameron let her in, but turned away and went back to unpacking a suitcase.

Donna wondered why he was there and how long he intended to stay. Before she could say anything, he said, in his usual tone, "Where's Hayward?"

"He went to Pine Valley to do heart surgery. Maybe you know that."

"Why would I?"

"Never mind. Alexander may need to talk to you. And I want to arrange when and where, not have you sneak up on him again."

"I suppose you blame me for his attack. You should know without that attack, he would be a walking time bomb."

"No, I just blame you for the way you talk to him and the way he doesn't like you, and that you're the stress that caused the attack rather than something else."

"How do you know it was me? I had done that to him many times. Maybe it was your big news?"

"I know about the Long Q-T syndrome now, Cam. The attack can come from any stress, a loud noise, even. But it's something immediate, that happened right before."

"You risked it by telling him his father wasn't his father!"

"I didn't know there was such a risk, but it wasn't sudden and I spoke gently. Which you wouldn't have done."

"You and Hayward should have known of the risk and acted according to it, not according to your own desires. But that's out of your reach, and his, I realize."

"Why did you go out to Pine Valley?" Donna demanded, angry that he was distracting her from her point. She hated the way he could do that.

"I went to have a talk with the police chief. Which you should do, too."

Donna looked disgusted. "We don't know why you think any criminal record is going to scare Alexander off. You remind him of his own every chance you get."

"I'm sure you and Hayward have lots of thoughts and that there are lots of things you and he don't understand."

"Do you love Alexander?" Donna shouted, knowing he would put her down for raising her voice but not caring, since she had gone back to her point without letting him get the better of her. "If so, do you ever tell him? Do you even love Peter, and do you ever tell him? Does Peter ever tell you he loves you?"

"It's hard with that accident!"

"You should take more of the heat for that accident! And what about all the years before that accident?"

"Where were _you_ during all those years?"

"We're not talking about me, we're talking about you!"

"I don't want to talk about me! Not with _you_!"

"Well, Alexander does. And he wants to know about your father and how your father treated you."

"What for?" Smart aleck remarks about amateur psychiatry occurred to him, but he couldn't get to them before she said: "To learn how to be a better father."

This silenced him. He wanted to leave even though it was his room.

"You don't go near him, Cam," Donna said. "Until you arrange it with me, so that he knows ahead of time and wants to talk to you."

"All right," he said. Anything to get rid of her.

Luckily, she left, right after she told him, "And I'm going to be there. Maybe in the next room, if he doesn't want to talk to you in front of me. But I'm going to be there to back him up, so he's not alone."

"It's about time you did something for him," Cam could not resist saying.

She didn't answer, but she slammed his door.


	43. Chapter 43

**Part 43**

Zander and Brenda were sitting on the couch in the brownstone, studying economics.

"Break time," he said. "I wonder if I will ever really understand the functions of the Federal Reserve Board."

"Maybe no one really does," Brenda said, snuggling up against him, putting the Economics textbook down on the coffee table.

They contemplated this in silence for awhile.

"Have you looked at that photo album?" Brenda asked him, seeing it on the coffee table.

"I never had a chance to really look through it."

"Well, look. You'll be amazed."

Zander took the album and opened it. He remembered David saying Vanessa was "crazy," looking at the photograph of her. She didn't look too bad in the photo. His grandmother. And Leo, a smiling, friendly-looking individual.

"He looks like he would be nice to know," Zander said.

On the next page there were some pictures of a child and teen-aged David.

"Feels weird," Zander said. "It's like looking at myself."

"I'm going to ask Donna to get some pictures of you and compare them," she said. "My kids might look like this."

"They better look like you," he grinned. "They'll be crazy enough as it is."

He went back to looking at the album. There was David about ten, in front of a man, who had his hands on David's shoulders.

"My grandfather, who died young, probably because of his Long Q-T interval," Zander said.

"Yeah. Sad," Brenda said. But Zander almost felt sadder about the way he had his hands on David's shoulders. He was sure his mother could never find a picture of himself and Cameron, let alone like that. 

"Maybe I'm making too much of it," Zander said. "I just feel, looking at this picture, that this guy loved his son David."

"You can ask David about it," she said.

"He did say I could ask him anything."

Then Zander was even more struck by yet another picture. In this one David looked like he was in his twenties. He had his hands on another boy's shoulders. Zander flipped back to the first page, and concluded that this boy was Leo.

Brenda laid her head on his shoulder, looking with him.

"You know," he said, suddenly, "I wish the same thing could happen to you. Your mother gets cured and you find out somebody else was your father. Do you ever want to visit your mother?"

"I'm usually advised not to. That it would be upsetting for me and meaningless to her. Sometimes I wonder if that's true. But mostly I'm never motivated to do it."

"I'll go with you if you want."

"Thank you, my love. For now, though, let's stay with you meeting Julia."

"I would really like that," he said.

Lynn Harmon looked at her notes from the last time she had been consulted by Ms. Carly Corinthos. Then, Carly was pregnant and wanted the biological father to waive his rights in favor of her husband. Now, Carly was there with the biological father and they wanted to know what grandparent visitation rights were.

Some people have the most complicated lives, Lynn thought. I shouldn't complain, because it keeps lawyers in business. Domestic relations lawyers like herself, especially. They'd have to find something else to do if all women could manage to get married before they had their children, have children by their husbands only, and then stay with them.

But those days were gone. And now there was a second generation of irregularity.

The young father in this case had a problem getting along with his own father and was concerned that his father might ask for grandparent visitation. He also now learned that his father was not his biological father and wondered if that would kill any possible grandparent visitation petition.

"Intriguing," Lynn said. "But when did you find this out?"

"This summer."

"How did it come up?"

Zander explained it.

"I'm not sure it would make any real difference," Lynn said. "I think you would defend any possible grandparent visitation petition on the usual grounds, that as parents you have the right to decide who sees your children, and can exclude anybody, including such relatives as grandparents. The reason is that you grew up as this man's child and you were born during a marriage. There's a presumption of legitimacy – before the days of the DNA test you would legally be this man's son conclusively. This is to make you the legitimate child of your parents, which is way easier on society. Now that we have DNA tests, the paternity laws are in a state of confusion, that is, they don't know what to do. You were born during a marriage and the DNA says you aren't the husband's. So the courts would have to decide which is more important, biology or the presumption of legitimacy. In a case where a baby or child's paternity was at issue, they might have to make that decision, and it could be a tough call, but I would venture to guess, and you'd have to go to the State Supreme Court to establish it, that the Court would rule that where the child is over 21, born during a marriage, and lived with that husband and wife as his parents from birth, that the presumption of legitimacy prevails and legally, that your mother's husband is your father even if it goes against the DNA. Say he wanted to disinherit you in a state where you can't disinherit your children. That state might decide the same thing. They wouldn't let him. Not after all those years with him. There could be harder cases, but yours is clear. Your biological father didn't support you and didn't raise you and would easily be defeated in any attempt at grandparent visitation. The one who raised you has these arguments in his favor."

"He's a total jerk," Carly said.

"So you would oppose his visitation on that ground," Lynn said, smiling, "though we might want to use the legal terms: that his visitation would not be in the best interests of the child. I mean, I find the question that he's not the biological father intriguing, but I think that the stronger case against visitation is the usual case against it. This family that existed for over 20 years – the state isn't going to want to disturb that family, or those family relationships, after all that. They're making rules that will apply to everybody, so if you supported the child for 21 years and had responsibility for him for 21 years, it's going to be way more than they want to do to declare that was all nothing because of biology."

"It does make sense what you put it that way," said the young father. "It sounds quite unfair to Dad, what we're trying to do."

"Which is not to say he has the right to visitation automatically," Lynn said. "I just think that you would argue that it's not in your daughter's best interests because of him, his personality, rather than argue that he shouldn't see her only because he's not biologically related to her."

"What would the court decide it on?" he asked.

"'Cause if they're deciding on his personality we have a great case," said Carly.

Lynn smiled, amused at Carly's passionate advocacy of a cause so different from the one she had taken up before.

"The state grandparent visitation statue goes like this: Where either or both of the parents of a minor child, residing within this state, is or are deceased, or where circumstances show that conditions exist which equity would see fit to intervene, a grandparent or the grandparents of such child may apply to the supreme court ... and ... the court, by order, after due notice ... may make such directions as the best interest of the child may require, for visitation rights for such grandparent or grandparents in respect to such child."

"OK, so we argue it is not in her best interests?" he asked.

"Yes, though you don't have to get to that if you can convince the court the conditions are not those which equity would see fit to intervene. That has been interpreted rather broadly, usually by a sufficient prior relationship, but those are older children. A court looks at the relationship between the grandparent and grandchild, for instance, it would be harder for a grandparent of a 16 year old who never saw that child before to make a case that in equity the court should intervene. But if they had seen that same child regularly since he or she was born, they'd have a good case. Then the court would look at the reason the parents don't want the grandparent to see the child. So we'd start out that he can't really claim any relationship over time, of course, that's natural as a result of your taking a strong stand from her infancy. Then we have the relationship of each of the child's parents and the applicant grandparent."

"My relationship with him is strained to the point of breakdown," Zander said. "I hadn't seen him in four years up to this summer. We had a hunting accident in which I shot my brother, who is two years older than I am, who he has always preferred. I can't think of a good think he's ever said about me, to my face, at least, but other people can be amazed at how he'll cut me down to them, even if they're strangers."

"Does your mother vouch for that?"

"Yes, I think she would. My brother might not like to go against my father, but he could do it, he's honest. My girlfriend has seen it. Carly and her mother. Now, even my biological father knows."

"OK. And the relationship between you, Carly, and the grandfather?"

"I've talked to him a few times. He puts Zander down. He's cold. Sarcastic. Snide. Condescending. A bastard, period."

"He treats everybody coldly?"

"Well, I wouldn't say Zander is only getting the same as everybody else. He's worst when it comes to him."

"He's mean about my mother," Zander said.

"She's an adult in relation to him, though. They had an equal relationship. You're his child," Carly said. "That's why it's so unforgivable. I could say Sonny is a bastard but I would never even imagine letting someone else say that about Michael without me punching them, let alone say it myself."

"He's OK to my brother. Pressures him. He's nothing but pressure. You can't relax around him."

"OK," Lynn said. "Does he know he's not your biological father?"

"He knows."

"How long?"

"We're not sure. He found out only this summer like the rest of us, like I did, but then some think he may have known or suspected. My mother maintains he never did, but recently was less sure about it."

"At any rate, he never said anything to you about that as you were growing up?"

"Nothing."

"The next thing we have is that if he had visitation, what effect would it have on each of your relationships with the child?"

"That's why we don't want to do it," Carly said. "He can't say a nice thing about Zander, and we don't trust him not to put him down to Ginny when she's old enough to hear. We took the parenting class and we know that's not good, but the villain is usually the other parent. But he's worse than that."

"OK. Then there's the factor of your time sharing arrangement, which I have noted down here. His good faith in filing is next. You don't think he'd do it to see his granddaughter so much as to annoy you, or undermine you with your daughter?"

"I'm sure it's to make sure I know I'm not a good father," Zander said. "And I'm even worried about that, how I learned to be a father from him."

"You'll do the opposite," Lynn said.

"Exactly, I'm trying to avoid just doing that rather than thinking about it."

"Any history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse? By him, I mean."

"No," Zander said.

"Are you kidding, it's emotional abuse," Carly said. "Verbal. That counts, doesn't it?"

"Yes. It does sound as if you would have a fairly solid case, if just on your own opinion. You have great rights as against third parties, even grandparents, about who your child is exposed to. Sounds like the visitation would be hard on you, and that's not good for your child. The grandfather hasn't had a relationship with her in the past that you're cutting off, but you're taking this strong stand right at the beginning that you don't believe it's in her best interests. That's based on his poor relationship with you. And what would he testify to?"

"He'd end up cutting Zander down in five minutes. He'd explain it's best for the child because Zander is a screw-up, whatever," Carly said.

"I've never seen him in a pleasant demeanor myself, though I've heard he can be charming," Zander said.

"The judge and everybody else in the courtroom will hate him as soon as he opens his mouth," Carly declared.


	44. Chapter 44

**Part 44**

Leo sat down in his brother's office.

"Well, how's the kid?" he asked. "I mean my new nephew. Or, old nephew. Newly discovered nephew."

"Well. The medication he's on hasn't created any problems," David answered. "I'm going back tonight. I don't know whether it's to check on him some more or to harass his father."

"You can only take care of Alexander so much at this point, and you'll never make up for lost time," Leo advised.

David looked at Leo and smiled. "You really do know what goes on in my head almost better than I do," he said ruefully. "Probably it's what you would be doing."

"Could be. Though I'd spend most of my time yelling at Donna."

"No, you'd see there's no point in that now."

"I'm dying to see this kid," Leo said, with a short laugh. "Or, that is, young man. See if he really looks like the old man."

"Kind of. His case contradicts the theory you start to look like the people you live with."

"Good, that means I won't be looking as much like you as I thought."

"Maybe you look like your unknown, missing father."

"Scary thought. Well, it's better than looking like Vanessa."

"I wouldn't mind looking like her outside as long as I didn't have her inside."

Leo laughed. There was a knock at the door.

It was Anna Devane, the Chief of Police in Pine Valley.

"No, stay, Leo," she said, in her usual polite, but firm, tones.

Aha, Leo thought. Whatever it is, she thinks David can sweet-talk her out of it. Leo was of the belief Anna's cool and professional approach to her job could never be undermined except by questions involving one person: her ex-husband David.

She sat down in a chair next to Leo. David pretended to look unconcerned.

"Someone talked to me last week," she said. "Whatever you're doing, David, to this patient in New York State, do not believe that I will not sign the order of extradition. You will be in New York within hours."

David looked at her. "I won't do anything wrong to that patient," he said. "Dr. Lewis is wrong."

"So you know his name," she said. "You know more than I do about what is going on. Of course you do," she added. "You always do. Of course you aren't telling me everything. You always do that, too. But when it comes time to extradite you to New York, then you'll go, whether or not I understand what is going on and regardless of your explanations." She stated this as if stating it would make her believe it.

"Don't worry, Anna," Leo said. "David won't mess with this patient."

"I like you," Anna said to Leo, "I believe you are honest in what you say. At least, that it is something you believe. But you," she said, turning to David, "I don't believe, not for a minute. And when the time comes, I'm not going to be listening to your excuses. I don't care if you save the patient's life, as you'll claim, I already know."

"I know," David said.

"If he says so, it will be true, Anna," Leo said. "And the conventional treatment is working, as I understand it. But David wouldn't do anything to this patient that he wouldn't do to me. Isn't that right, David?"

"Yes."

"Then what's special about the patient?" Anna asked. "Why do you go to New York to work on his case? Never mind. I know I won't get the truth out of you. But no matter. Whatever you decide to tell me later won't work, David, and you'll be sent to the New York authorities."

She got up, and said good-bye to Leo.

"Well, I guess you had earned that, David," Leo said with a grin.

"So that's what Cam was doing. I wondered, because I asked around the hospital, and he hadn't been here."

"He's defending his turf, David."

"Yes. In his way. He's fighting the wrong person, though."

Cameron sat down opposite Donna where she sat in the coffee shop of the Port Charles Hotel. Donna looked at him blankly. She had resigned herself to this sort of thing.

"You haven't done our son any favors," he said to her. "His biological father can do nothing to restrain his worst impulses, and will only make them worse."

"He's grown up. He has a child. He has to follow a drug regimen to control a heart condition. He started school on his own. Do you think people never change for the better because you don't?"

"And how is Peter going to take this? I don't suppose you will consider sparing him this news."

"I'm sure you'll take care of all that. I thought we were talking about Alexander for once?"

"Why should we not talk about Peter?"

"He's even older, and more grown up, and smart, and aren't you the one always saying how well he does? What are you even worried about? Can we not discuss Alexander only?"

"They kind of go together," Cameron said.

"The effect on Peter is minor. He's a grown up. And successful, with brains and talent. We don't need to discuss him; it's just your obsession. Try being concerned with Alexander; maybe he wouldn't have been involved with so many problems if you ever had. Your favoritism was always wrong, no matter what you knew or suspected."

"I knew and suspected nothing. I know you believe yourself very clever to have fooled me. But at this point it really doesn't make any difference."

"I don't think I was clever, I only think - never mind. I'm glad you have the decency to say it makes no difference, though."

"I spoke to Dr. Quartermaine about his treatment," Cameron said, shortly. "Make sure you follow her advice."

He got up and left.

"I'm actually getting somewhere, since he talks to me," Donna told Zander and Brenda. "Before this he ignored me as much as he could. Now he has no one else to go through."

"You believe him that it makes no difference?" Zander asked her, anxiously. "I think I really would be upset if he just rejected me and claimed he no longer has to do with me. I know that doesn't make sense," he said. "But I've been dreading finding that out."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Donna said. "That you worried about that. He's still talking about you the same way. His ire is all directed at me. As it should be. Finally."

"No, he has no ground to be mad at you," Zander said.

"Don't worry about that, dear. I already put you into a bad enough position, so let me deal with my Cam issues on my own," she said. "I promise I can handle it. It's way beyond you, you know, you had nothing to do with all that. Even if you are the subject of it."

"I think I can talk to him now."

"Let me give you some advice," Donna said. "Stick to one subject, and go back to it no matter what he says. Don't let him distract you. When you want to talk about him, he'll change the subject to you and you have to ignore it. It's hard, I know. You've got to ignore him and go back to it. I'll stay with you and help you."

"You don't have to do that, Mom. I can handle Dad."

"Don't be macho, Alexander," Donna said.

"Yeah, don't be macho," Brenda said. She put her arm around Zander, grinning.

"You need me to help you with this," Donna said. "Otherwise, he'll be off onto the subject of you in no time, and you'll be defending yourself, when he ought to be the one under fire. And you may as well know, he'll change the subject to David Hayward, too. I don't know if he'll do that to you, but he does it to me. It's a new weapon for him. That's why I'm going with you. He has a right to use that weapon against me, but not against you."

"It's so long ago!" Zander protested.

"You're defending me again," Donna said. "Stay off that subject. It's new to Cam. Anyway, don't worry about him, either."

"What's he gonna tell me, that David's a crook?"

"Yes. He went to Pine Valley and talked to the chief of police there."

"David and I already discussed our criminal records."

Brenda giggled.

"Well, we did," he said, drawing a hand through her hair. "We exchanged criminal histories. But another thing. The Pine Valley chief of police, I think, is David's ex-wife."

"Well, those are never a source of favorable information," Donna said. "But Cam's opinion of David's influence on you is not the point. Anyway, stick to your subject. What is it?"

"Ginny, of course."

"It ought to be you."

"Well, what can I do? Threaten him he'll never see me again? That's nothing; he doesn't want to."

"That's not true, Alexander."

"What does he think is David's influence on me?"

"Something about how he'll encourage your worst impulses; that kind of garbage. Anyway don't let him get onto that, because it's not your point."

"OK," Zander said. "Let's go after him, Mom."

Donna and Zander went to Cameron's room.

He did looked shocked when he opened the door. Donna hoped that it would undermine his sarcasm but worried for a second that it might exacerbate it. 

"Well, Alexander, come in," he said, almost politely, rudely ignoring Donna. "I would have come to see you in the hospital, but," then he looked at her, "your - parents - wouldn't let me."

"Oh, no, Dad! No way do you get out of it. It's way too late. You get all the credit. _You_ raised a kidnapper."

Cameron wanted to ask him if that was why he had done it, the kidnapping. Just to show that he, Cameron, was a failure as a father. He bit his tongue. Alexander was a cardiac patient, and he knew he couldn't do otherwise.

"It makes no difference to me," Zander went on, unused to no answer from Cameron, and feeling funny talking without having been distracted from his point. Cameron always had done that to him before. Zander realized that Donna had indeed figured it out. Then he rushed out all he had prepared that he would say, at the same time resenting he had to be so prepared to talk to his own father. Like it was a test at school.

He went on: "You'll see your granddaughter at exactly the same time as you would have before; that's when I feel like you've changed somehow - I don't know how you're going to be able to prove it, even, but you've changed somehow so that - so that I don't think your presence is harmful to her. And don't threaten us with court action. We've talked to a lawyer and the judge will consider a bunch of things. But not just what you want. The relationship between you and me will all come out in that legal question. So will what I think will happen to my relationship with my daughter as a result of your influence. And that I picked up on it right away so that you have no history of seeing her."

"I really don't want to do all that," Cameron said, as mildly as he could. "At first I worried you wouldn't be able to take care of her, but now I think that between you and her mother you can manage. I thought maybe she'd taken you in, but I saw your paternity test. I really don't intend to upset you. I don't want you upset."

"You're a liar!" Alexander was yelling now. Donna took his arm, as if to start pulling him out of the room.

"I don't want you upset," Cameron repeated, trying to talk in a milder tone than came naturally to him. "Relax, please, Alexander."

Alexander glared at Cameron for a minute. Donna's touch on his arm calmed him down.

"Don't forget who the real liars are, Alexander," he said. "You and I did the best we could. We didn't know. Your mother and Hayward let us go on for decades."

"Oh, shut up! You aren't to blame for anything, are you? There's no woman in the world that wouldn't cheat on you. You couldn't hang onto any woman!"

Cameron was paralyzed. He didn't even have any cutting words at his disposal for this, and Alexander was a cardiac patient. He repeated that in his mind, and tried to get control of his tone. He wanted to yell at Donna, but knew he had to wait until later, at the very least. When he could get her alone. For the first time since his divorce, he had a desire to get Donna alone so he could argue with her.

Alexander then said, "You tried to get out of it, just now, calling them my parents. You never cared and never considered yourself to be - "

"I wasn't. You misunderstand me a lot. Like then. I meant to test where you stood, that's all."

"Maybe you should make yourself clearer."

"OK. It is my fault. But I was not part of the lie - I was on the receiving end of that, with you. But I was part of the whole situation. It's not your fault," he went on, at a loss for words for once in his life. "It's the three people twenty and more years older than you that screwed up your life. But they took chances on it. You might have died on account of our not knowing Hayward's family's medical history."

"Oh, so I supposed to believe Mom did that on purpose just to spite you?"

"No, I'm sure it wasn't like that," Cameron said, unnerved at Alexander's use of phrases he used himself. "That wouldn't be the way she saw it. I only point out I didn't lie to you, too."

"No. You wouldn't lie to be kind. No, if you thought I was stupid, you wouldn't lie about it, you'd tell me I'm stupid."

"I don't think you're stupid."

"Come on!"

"I really don't, Alexander, that's why - no let's not talk about this now. Another time. You've had enough."

"Mend your ways, or you'll end up alone, Dad. Even Pete would rather not have you around. I know it. He doesn't need all that pressure. Nobody does. He'll be with us in the end, because we'll accept him whatever he wants to do."

"Us?"

"Mom and I. And Ginny. Our family."

"All right, all right," Cameron said, suddenly wanting them gone. "But go on, you've had enough for now."

They went out the door, and so did not see how relieved Cameron was. He too had expected a total rejection based on biology.


	45. Chapter 45

**Part 45**

"It was like nothing I've ever dealt with from him before. Like he was trying to get me on his side. Make a common enemy out of you." Zander and Donna were back in Donna's room.

The phone rang. "Let me call you back in a minute," Donna said. She said to Zander, "Do you want David to come up or stay downstairs?"

"Come up."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

He sat down on the couch then, and put his head in his hands. Donna looked at him compassionately.

She went to let David in. He could see something had happened.

He went over to Zander. He bent his knees and leaned on his heels, like he did with a child patient who was sitting down or on a low bed, so he could look up at them.

Zander looked at him and smiled a little, lifting his head. He had liked that he had grown as tall as David. He had not ended up as tall as Cam and was stuck with looking up at him forever. And so somehow, he appreciated this going down to the same level.

"What's up?" David asked him.

"Nothing I won't live through," Zander smiled ruefully. "We were just recovering from our little talk with Dad."

"Already? Your heart doctors probably won't like that."

"Yeah," Zander said, ruefully, feeling calmer. "Here's a new thing they may not like. Dad's already gone to see the police chief in Pine Valley."

"It's OK, not to worry," he put his hand on Zander's arm for a second. "that's already blown over." He got up and sat on the couch next to Zander. "The Chief of Police already came over to my office to tell me she won't hesitate to extradite me back to New York State in the event I commit any crimes for which New York State may want me. Well, that's true of any citizen."

Zander smiled a little.

"See, it's no big deal."

"I feel better about that," Zander said. "I hate to be messing up your life any more."

"Forget it. What did you tell your dad?"

"I told him he could see Ginny when he mends his ways, and that was what I wanted to tell him."

"You did a good job of it, too," Donna said. "He hardly got to distract you. I'm sure he kept a couple of his smart aleck remarks to himself. I could tell, he really did. That's another first."

"It was so strange to me; it's the first time he ever tried to be on my side, that I can remember, anyway. And it was so strange the issue he did it on. Like you two lied to us two."

"Well really, it's actually true," Donna said.

"I guess I went too far when I told him there's no woman that wouldn't cheat on him."

"Maybe you went too far," Donna said. "But then, that opinion is kind of true, too."

Zander laughed a little. "I could use a change of scene," he said.

"Come to Pine Valley some day," David said. "My brother is dying to see you."

"Do you mean it?"

"Yes."

"I may take you up on it."

"Do that."

"I think I'd like to see him, too. I like his picture. I really like the picture of you and him. He's a kid in it. Do you know the one?"

"Yes."

"And the one of you and your father."

"I like that, too."

"I don't mean to hurt Dad's feelings, but he acts like he has none to hurt. Dad talked about it like you two have been working around the clock to deceive him and me for the past twenty-two years."

"Poor Cam," Donna said. "Always the victim. But you know, he actually did take a little of the heat. It may be a miracle, but he did say he was part of it, or something like that, didn't he Alexander? Maybe I imagined it."

"No, he did say something like that."

"Well, it wasn't hard to fool him," Donna said. "He was at work all the time."

"I went to see you that time," David said. "When you were ten."

"I remember that."

"I did it, but then thought I could have tipped him off. He didn't notice anything, but when I went back, and looked at the photo album I copied yours from, well, I thought he had to have figured it out on the spot."

"When I think of this from my point of view, me and Ginny, I think it must have been a kind of torture."

"I wasn't really sure, until I saw you and then looked at those pictures. Then I got your picture, and sometimes it was rather painful to think about. I'd see it every once in awhile." He took out his wallet and pulled out the photo of the ten year old Zander.

"You've still got that," Donna said.

"Yeah, and I always kept it like this, it seemed the best way to avoid one of my ex-wives asking questions about it, like they would if they found it somewhere in the house. I never could come up with a good explanation for it. I couldn't bring myself to toss it."

"It's strange for me, or new, to think anyone was aware of me like that," Zander said.

"I also had this in the back of my mind I might take some action, vague, but Donna said, as I remember it anyway, to look out for you if something happened to her and Cam figured it out. I don't know what I would have done, but I would have done something."

"I remember that," Donna said. "I mean, I remember telling you that."

"I could hang around as the family friend," David said. "Then the down side to that was that the more I might do that, the more likely Cam could figure it out."

"It sounds mostly like a real drag for you," Zander said.

"It's not as bad as I thought it would be. I figured you would never know. It is easier for me that you know. It may be harder for you, though."

"No," Zander said. "It isn't harder. I'd still just be avoiding Dad. It wouldn't have come about that I'd have told him all I just did. I'm sure I'd still be just dodging him or avoiding him. I planned to never see him again when I first left home."

"He still cares about you and so he comes after you," David said. "You see that? He comes from a generation where he was raised with the idea he had to be stern. For your own good. So he thinks."

"He's overdoing that. Nobody else dislikes their father being around so much. Emily Quartermaine's grandfather is like that. But she doesn't hate him."

"Cam does overdo it," Donna said. "Painfully. It's that it's not your fault, you understand? It's not that you're not worthwhile."

"What about Pete, though?"

"He thinks you are different, so you need a different approach," David said. "He told me you have different personalities and so he has to treat you different. He has these theories on raising children."

"It almost could be easier if he didn't," Zander said. "I mean if he didn't care. Rather than his theories. I don't think it would be good to go on theories, either."

"Doesn't matter what you do, so long as Ginny is sure you love her," Donna said. "This is where Cam doesn't get it. Then he didn't have it himself, probably, either. There I go feeling sorry for him again. He's good at that."

"He's always in the right, according to the rules," Zander pointed out. "You're stuck explaining why some rule should be broken."

"They were made to be bent," David said. "Or they'd stay the same. We'd still be burning witches."

Zander laughed again. "I feel much better."

"And you're taking your prescription every day," David said.

"Exactly, according to the directions," Zander said, smiling.

"That's a rule that doesn't need to be broken," David said. "If you forget, take it, unless it's so close to the next dose that it's better to skip it."

"Yes, doc," Zander smiled again. He got up. "I'll go to Brenda's room. I told her I'd go tell her what happened."

"She'll be worried," Donna said. "Go on."

"Thank you, Mom," he said, and he hugged her. "It's nothing sweetheart," she said, hugging him back.

"Thanks, David," he said.

"Any time."


	46. Chapter 46

**Part 46**

"How did he get to be so - empathetic?" David asked Donna. "Is that another anti-Cam reaction?"

"I don't know, but he didn't get that being raised in upper class Florida. Maybe it was from life on the street."

"Do you know much about that?"

"No, I don't," Donna said, appreciating the way the question didn't come out sounding like a criticism, as it would have had Cam asked her. And it would have included an implication that he, Cam, knew more about it than she did. "Not yet, anyway."

"I'm glad I didn't know about that."

"Me too. I feel sad for you and him. Just now, I saw how you had some compassion for Alexander, and you don't even know him that well."

"No use beating yourself up over that now, Donna."

"No, I try not, but even without that, it was still sad, you know? You look even more like him dressed in jeans, like that. It's funny, because I think of you now as somebody who looks like Alexander, rather than think Alex looks like you."

"Hold on there!" David laughed. "I was here first. You knew me first. Remember? You know how on the radio, they play so many old songs? Songs from that era I always find depressing, because they remind me of you."

Donna smiled. "Because we were always listening to the radio in the car? Yes. Try making an association. Get me to remind you of Alexander and Virginia."

"I guess that could work."

"I'm really sorry, and I mean it, David, that I never thought of the effect on you. Not until Alexander mentioned it just now did I ever even think about there being any effect on you. I assumed it was easier not to have to raise the child than to know he existed and not be able to raise him. But when you and he were talking, it was the first time I could see how hard that was. How it might be harder in some ways, than raising him."

"I didn't mean to get you to feel sorry for me."

"I know, you wanted Alexander to know you thought about him. It just gets to me that you still have that picture."

"Oh, come on," he said, seeing she was crying a little. "Don't feel so bad about it." He went over and hugged her for a second. "What's done is done."

There was a knock on the door.

"Zander came back, maybe?" David went to the door and looked through the peephole. "No such luck," he reported. "Cam."

Donna sighed. She went to the door. "What do you want to do?" she asked David. "Hide? Ignore the knock?"

He laughed. "Oh, just let him in and get it over with."

She smiled a little, and wiped her eyes again. 

Cameron came in. He looked coolly at David, as though he figured he would be there.

"I want to talk to you alone," he said, to Donna.

"All right. Later, maybe."

"But since _you're_ here," he said to David, trying to be cool and even-toned, "I'm really very curious. How long did this go on?"

"Does it matter?" David asked.

"Two weeks? Two days? Twenty-two years?"

"Maybe about a year, Cam," Donna said, figuring he was entitled to at least a few answers.

"And I guess you've told both our sons all about this sordid affair," he said to Donna, sounding hurt.

"Nothing at all. Only about Alex's paternity," she answered, sadly.

"Given what Alex said, I don't think so," Cameron answered, getting testier. "And I resent hearing my own son parrot your words in defense of your infidelities."

"It's his own opinion," she answered. "I've never tried to justify anything. I told Alex I wasn't sorry, since it's why he's here. That was to make sure he knows I love him, no matter what."

"I'm sure you've worked hard to justify it to him."

"Oh, Cam, get on with it," David said. "This is twenty-two years ago you're talking about. Forget it and concentrate on Alexander."

"It is very easy for you to dismiss your effects on his parents' marriage!" Cameron snapped.

"What effects? You got way longer than you deserved."

"We have a family here, something you don't know about," Cameron replied. "We have an older son, and he now has to find this out."

"So?" David asked. "Alexander's found out, so how can Peter finding out be more than a footnote?"

"Because he's a member of the family," Cam said. "And this hurts _him._"

"It _does not_," Donna said, impatiently.

"This Peter is like a person under a charm," David declared. "You twist everybody else into pretzels just to give him the slightest advantage. No sacrifice is too much. You stay married without caring about each other. Your younger son gets sacrificed to some sick competition Cam thinks necessary for the benefit of the older."

"I think it's way past time you shut up, Hayward!" Cameron yelled. "And you," he turned to Donna, "are going to let him go on like this?"

"David has his own opinion," she said. "He's not me. Peter's my son too, but not David's. Why would he care about Peter?"

"Why does he care about Alexander either? All of a sudden!" Cameron turned back to David. "Go home, and take your genetic contributions; you have nothing to do with us, do you understand?"

"He's not a minor child now, Cam," David said. "There's nothing you can do about it. You're not in control now."

"All the pain you're feeling won't go away by trying to increase someone else's, Cam," Donna said.

"What pain? He's had it easy! Show up when the kid is twenty-two and suddenly he's a father? Shall I give him a cigar?"

"I get that I'm not his father," David said. "I'm a friend of his now, though, and he's an adult and there's not much you can do about it."

"Alexander remembered the time David saw him, Cam," Donna said. "When he was ten."

"So?"

"He remembered it, he told me, because, he said it was strange for someone to talk to him more than to Peter. He thought it was odd for someone to have an interest in him. When he was ten. He remembered what they talked about. Tennis and windsurfing, he said."

"So, what, you're trying to prove he had some inward recognition, or what?"

"No, that you and I got him to where he thought it would be strange anyone would talk to him. He can remember somebody, who was, to him, a casual passerby just because he talked to him when Peter was around."

"Big of you to take responsibility for that, Donna," David said. "Since that was Cam's project. Or headache. I believe he called it a headache. Poor Cam. Unruly teen, didn't like school, can't shoot straight."

"Shut up!" Cameron yelled at David. "Get out!"

"I'm quoting you, that's all."

"Yeah, you lecture. You're the adulterer. Why shouldn't you lecture? But I'm not listening." He went out and slammed the door.

"I'm sorry," David said in a minute. "I was getting out of hand."

"What is it about men that you have to provoke each other?"

He smiled ruefully. "I don't know."


	47. Chapter 47

**Part 47, NC-17**

"I feel bad for David he's dragged into it," Zander said to Brenda. "Yet I'm glad at the same time. I felt much better after I talked to him. And Mom."

"He's not dragged. He doesn't have to be here," Brenda said.

"I still think I'd be a little upset if not for both of them talking to me like that about it afterwards. Before, when I was on my own, I only had myself, and I thought and thought until I felt much worse."

"It is good for you to have somebody older, who has been through more, and who feels connected to you."

"You don't have that."

"Sometimes, I do. And I have good friends."

"I never did. Now I can see how I got so attached to Emily. It was like she was my whole family. Which was way too much to ask of her. Way too much. No wonder she wanted to give it up."

"She says not."

"I don't think she realizes it herself," he said. "But it was too much for her."

"You are too much for her," she said. "In a lot of ways."

"I was trying to give her what I thought she wanted," he said. "I think, because I felt guilty. I was also grateful to her, because she didn't come down hard on me like she could have, with the law, you know? And nobody else was even nice to me. It's not that being in love is bad," he said, drawing her closer, "it's that it wasn't it. I only thought so. Really being in love feels good. Taking the same classes. Kidding around. Simple, fun."

"Yes, it's simpler. I thought that too. It was all something else. Maybe more dramatic, and so you think it's love because of that. Not like this. Easy and simple, and just makes you happy."

"Yeah, happy," he said, pulling her into his arms.

He pulled her down to the floor. She laughed as they fell.

He undid the button to her slacks and then his zipper. She ran her hands down his back and then his legs.

She moaned as she guided him into her.

His hands were under her hips, pushing her up to meet him. "Ah," she breathed, feeling him fill her up. "That's great!"

"That's an understatement," he said, breathing harder.

"I love to drive you crazy," she said, panting.

"I'm glad, because you're good at it."

He laid down next to her on the floor.

She smiled and leaned over, running her hands down his chest.

"Would you like to be conceived in a passion like that or in a staid marriage?"

He laughed. "I tried not to think about that! If I had, it was the latter. Ugh!"

She giggled. "People say they hate thinking of their parents together," she said.

"Imagine somebody who will think that way about us," he said.

"I never felt too much like that, though, because I never saw my parents together anywhere," Brenda said.

"Poor baby," he said, hugging her. "I guess I hadn't either, after all. I thought I came from a staid marriage. Which I do not want to contemplate. But now, it looks like there's a chance it was more like this," he laughed, twirling her hair, then kissing her neck.

"No one's going to get into adultery unless they are crazy for the other person."

"How would you know?" he grinned.

"I came pretty close with Sonny. A prior wife."

"Has he ever had another wife? It's hard to imagine. My wife Carly. My wife Carly. Ad nauseum. You'd think he'd be a little easier about it if he's had more than one."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to mention you and Carly. I know she was separated."

"I'm glad I've convinced you of that. But Mom was married to Dr. Dread, so it wouldn't take much."

Brenda laughed. "No, it's the other way round. Being with him could turn off your sex drive for life! It would require some real fire!"

"Like this?" he kissed her, his hands running down her sides and resting on her hips. She felt his tongue, hot, as if it were a fire.

Donna was drinking coffee downstairs. She sighed. Cameron came in and sat across from her.

"You earned it, Cam," she attacked, surprised at her own aggressiveness. She was glad she had thought of something to say before he could make his move. "Somebody has to keep after you about what a lousy father you are to Alexander, and I've found the perfect candidate."

"Like you were such a good mother."

"I couldn't be."

"Oh, that's right. You have your excuse. A few drugs and it's all gone now."

"Right. But I had you going against me too. I'm a woman and I don't think I count as a parent of boys, with you."

"Oh, you think that's my opinion?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it's not. But I had to take up all your slack."

"You helped create the need for that."

"How?"

"You made it as hard as you could for me!"

"What?"

"Oh never mind, Cam, I can see you're not going to listen."

"Hayward will find out you manipulated him into this so-called keeping after me, and he's not going to like it."

"I didn't manipulate. Anyway, even if I did, it's too late now. He knows those are his chromosomes walking around and his ego is as big as yours. It comes out more charmingly, but it's there. He's not going to forget Alex no matter what I did."

"Well, he's not a perfect candidate. He's the worst one there is. He's the one who didn't have to do anything, so how can he turn me into a good father, according to your lights, with the child grown?"

"Well, it's a good question. I don't have an answer. But that he's never been a father doesn't make you a good one."

"He has no rights whatsoever. None at all. Nothing. I did not know I was substituting for him."

"You had a right to know that. I'm sorry."

"It's a little late now."

"Yes. David had a right to know, too."

"Obviously Hayward did not care a whit about you, or you'd have gone off with him and taken both kids."

"If I wanted to leave, I could have left, David or no David. And I wouldn't have just taken your kids."

"Why didn't you? Who stopped you? Hey, I wouldn't have!"

"I didn't have the gumption. Not until they were grown. And you know you would have been as difficult as possible."

"So you waited until Alexander was missing. Literally on the missing persons list. Then you left."

"So? I kept looking for him."

"Kept looking? You didn't start looking! I did the looking. I found him. All you did was show up after I had found him."

"So I'm not as good a looker as you. So what, you found him. Aren't you glad? Don't you love him? Is that why you looked for him, or some other reason?"

Cameron got up and walked away. "Good," she said to herself. "That was too much for him."

A few minutes later, Donna looked up. "Oh, it's only you," she said, relieved to see David.

"What do you mean, it's only me?" he sat down where Cam had been sitting before.

"Cam was here. We talked for a little bit. Or, we fought for a little bit."

"I'm still sorry about last night," David said. 

"I go easy on you, because you've been so good about all this."

"It's not that hard. Zander's not ticked off like I would have expected. You're treating me like a friend. The only one who yells at me is Cam. He got cheated on, defrauded into raising a cuckoo in the nest, one he happened to find particularly difficult to raise, suffered through the hunting accident, now finds out one of his kids isn't really, and I still can't whip up any sympathy for the man. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing," she laughed. "You're normal. I like being friends. It felt a little like how it must be to deal with my child's father on equal terms, when Alex was in the hospital."

"It still must not be that hard. You still turned out a nice, empathetic, kid."

"I didn't do anything. Cam ran roughshod over it all. He reminds me of that every time I talk to him."

"You must have done something."

"I was ineffective."

"Against Cam, maybe, but you must have talked to your kids."

"Not much. I listened mostly. To Alex, mostly about sports. Windsurfing."

"It doesn't matter that it was only about sports, does it? You listened."

"Yeah."

"Anyway, I don't want to start fighting with you."

"It's OK. Maybe it's like riding a bicycle, and I can remember how. You know, I think I had more fights with you in that one year than I had with Cam in 20 years."

"That's not a recommendation. That's because it was the worst marriage in the world. You can take my word. I'm an expert on bad marriages."

"After last night and this morning you get no argument from me, Dr. Phil. Cam and I were the world's worst marriage. I'll take your trophy."

"You earned it. You stayed put. You would listen to anybody but me."

Donna smiled. "I left him, so it was you I listened to in the end!"

"Oh, so you listen to me! It just takes twenty years to sink in."

She laughed. "No wonder you don't want to fight with me! I didn't know I was that formidable!"


	48. Chapter 48

**Part 48**

David was outside of Kelly's waiting for Zander, looking at an EKG faxed to him from Pine Valley Hospital, talking to an intern there on the phone. When he hung up, he saw Cameron there.

"Still here," Cameron said.

"You too," David answered, hoping he could get rid of Cameron before Zander showed up. "What are you doing still here, Cam? Is there a plan? You really care about this kid, in some way. I hope it's a good way. But how are you helping? What good are you doing? Tell me, I have no experience in this area."

"That's partly because you left it to me."

"You make me regret it more every day. Anyway, I didn't know until Alexander was already 3 years old. But it was intended to be good for him. Give him all the advantages that the royal Peter has."

"You seem to resent Peter quite a bit!"

"You seem to favor him quite a bit."

"Yet the mother of your only child never chose for you to raise that child."

"That was because of Peter, of course."

"Why should Peter suffer for your benefit and hers?"

"Of what do you complain? Peter had everything you wanted him to have. Intact family. Constant reassurance he would be better than the competition. You had a little brother for him, whom you could use to show Peter how he could compare himself to someone else and see how he was faster and smarter and better."

"Everyone says Peter is a good kid. He was easy."

"Even you say he's a good kid. That makes it official. But it's because of his mother."

"She did nothing. Like you."

"What was such a headache, anyway? Didn't you get any happiness out of raising Zander?"

"Peter was easy, Alexander was difficult, and you'd have found it the same."

"What was easy? What was difficult?"

"Peter would listen, and Alexander would not."

"Peter's like his mother and Alexander's like his father?"

"And who would you be referring to? You, or me?"

"You."

"Now how did that happen, when he has none of my chromosomes?"

"Zander!" David suddenly realized he was there. He was uncomfortably close to them, too.

Cameron had never seen Alexander and Hayward together before and was thrown off balance. It was one thing to know about it in his mind, and another to see with his own eyes that they were clearly related.

"I'm sorry for whatever you heard, Zander," David said. "I get a little carried away."

"You get _very_ carried away," Cameron said.

"Wow!" Zander said. "Haven't I heard that before! This is the first time it wasn't directed at me, though!"

"Alexander you really should not have this stress," Cameron said. He would have gone on, but Zander interrupted: "I'm standing between two cardiologists. What better place to have stress?"

"Hayward, take off," Cameron said.

"You must be out of your mind," said David.

"Yeah, Dad, now you're free to think I'm stupid. I don't have your intelligent chromosomes."

"If I thought you were stupid, which I don't, I could have said it came from your mother's side. Anyway Hayward isn't stupid. So if I thought it, I could say the same thing. I don't think you're stupid. Maybe you've done a stupid thing or two from time to time, but - "

"Oh, never mind, Dad. It must be my mother. She must be really dumb. Here, I have two bright fathers so she must be twice as dumb. You know, it's funny," he went on, his tone getting tenser, "A year ago I had no father; now I have two."

"You're getting wound up, Zander," David said.

"That was _your_ choice, wasn't it, Alexander?" Cameron forgot all about Hayward and the Long Q-T Syndrome and Alexander's biological paternity and was mentally back in the past, "No father, no mother, no _brother_, and after what you'd done to him- "

Zander jumped a little, as if he were going to prepare to hit Cameron. David grabbed him, just as Zander reacted. 

In the past, Zander had always continued to struggle against anyone holding him back from a fight. But this time, Zander relaxed. "Go ahead in, Zander," David said, pointing to Kelly's. "I'm going to talk to Cam, then I'll go in to you." He let go of Zander, with a slight push, as if to propel him to move in the direction he wanted him to go.

Glaring at Cameron, Zander said nothing, but walked away and went into Kelly's.

"Do you really have to bring up the hunting accident over and over?" David asked Cameron.

"No," Cameron said. "I shouldn't have. I momentarily forgot, and let him provoke me as usual. He never tried to hit me before. How did you manage to stop him?"

"I just knew he was going to," David said.

Brenda got back from class. She went to Donna's room and convinced her to come and sit by the pool.

"Do you have any childhood photos of Zander?" Brenda asked. "We were looking at David's family pictures, and it made me think of asking if there are any of Zander."

"There are some. In Florida. I'll send some or copy some for you."

"Thank you. I bet they are really cute."

"He _was_ a cute little boy. If I can say so myself."

"I bet he was adorable. Not that he isn't still. In a different way. Getting more devilishly handsome. Like his father."

"Alexander's lucky he met you."

"Zander said it wasn't so bad talking to Cam," Brenda said. "Because of you and David calming him down afterward."

"It's a good thing he left when he did," Donna said. "A little while after he left, Cam came to the room. David was still there and we had a nice, big fight."

"What a nightmare! What did Cam do? Demand that you both be burned at the stake?"

"He wanted to know how long it went on with us. How long we fooled him."

"He's madder about being fooled than about losing his wife. How long _did_ you fool him?"

Donna smiled at Brenda's enthusiasm for "fooling" Cam. "About a year."

"Oh, Zander might like to know that. Not as short as he might have been supposing. Who ended it?"

"He did."

"Why?"

"I don't remember exact words, but it boiled down to: I'm going to California, leave Cam or don't see me again."

"But in a way you ended it, by not leaving Cam."

"I guess you could say that."

"I believe from what Zander tells me that he got stuck in a sort of similar position with Carly, but don't tell him I said that. He vehemently denies she was married. She was separated, I guess, though, in some sort of official way. She lived apart from her husband. But later they got back together, and Sonny talked as if Zander had been fooling around with his wife."

"Cam talks like it just happened yesterday, but with his finding out now, I don't really blame him. He has to get used to it. Then David _had_ to keep baiting him. Men!"

"I know Cam has you down on that gender."

"Well, he's good for it."

"You should get out more. Meet a guy or two."

"Typical woman who is happy with some man. Wants the same for everybody else."

"Yeah!"

Donna laughed. "Well, thank you. But there's no need. I've had it! I'm retired. Besides, anti-depressants kill your sex drive. And it's worth it, believe me. I hope you never have occasion to understand."

"It's a temporary side effect. If you are feeling that way, it's mostly from Cam and will go away in time."

"Alexander said the same thing, or sort of its opposite, about my feeling happier in general. He said the drugs don't do as much as getting rid of Dad!" 

"I'm with him on that."

"I'm glad Alexander stayed on as father of Ginny."

"And even Sonny would make a better father than Cam did! That's saying a lot, coming from me, I can tell you! Sonny was once my fiancé, and – no, it's too long a story so I'll tell you some rainy day – but for all that Cam is a successful doctor and Sonny is an organized crime boss, Sonny would make a better father!"

"An organized crime boss! That is saying a lot! And this is the one who thinks Alex was fooling around with his wife?"

"The same one."

"Alexander, Alexander," Donna shook her head. "Boy, am I glad Cam found him!"

"Me too. I think he's way better off with you and his brother back, and his getting to know David, too."


	49. Chapter 49

**Part 49**

Zander sat across from David in Kelly's.

"I'm sorry, David," Zander said. "I'm staring at you too much."

"It's all right. You thought you were a throwback and now you find you're not."

"I should meet Leo, and the others. It could take the heat off of you."

"Don't worry about me. We're not equal. I'm the older generation. With me it's what I caused; with you it's who you are. Besides, I've had more time to get used to your existence, and I had your picture."

"Did you love my mother? No, wait, I don't have a right to ask that."

"Yes, you do. And I won't question my younger self. I'll tell you what I would have said back then. Yes."

"I know how that is. Emily."

"Is she like Donna?"

"She's more like the way Mom used to be. Brenda is not, or if Brenda is, she is more like the way Mom is now. I know how the married woman thing is too. With the child. Though he was not their child. Carly had temporarily made him into their child, but he still was not. Carly was separated, but she sure was constantly going on about Sonny and their awful marriage, which she would do anything to save, which I could never understand."

"Me neither," David grinned. "Some marriages aren't worth the paper they are recorded on. I've been in them, but the one between Donna and Cameron always seemed to me to be made in hell and nobody has ever given me any evidence to believe otherwise. Not even they themselves. Why it was worth saving, or, no, worth even maintaining, is beyond my comprehension."

"Yeah," Zander said, smiling. "I can totally understand why you would have a hard time with that! In fact, I don't understand it. I guess it was for Pete's sake."

"I've heard that name so often, I'm tired of it. Back then. Even now. Don't think I'm callous. I just couldn't get why the world revolved around about Pete. I still don't."

"I guess I can get that. I like Michael and I always did. I would have done anything for him. I think I might have, at one time, been willing to raise him, if I'd thought about it. But I wouldn't want to name another kid that. I have heard that name enough! I heard it almost as much as I heard the name 'Sonny.'"

"I really get that. Believe me. I would have raised Pete. I would have been willing to be totally responsible for him. But given less than that, I had moments where I resented his existence."

"He's really a nice guy, in spite of his paternity."

"He'd better be. Is he good to you?"

"Yes."

"Have you talked to him since he knows? I know your mother said it makes no difference."

"It won't, I'm sure."

"If it doesn't, you'll have to lie to me, or I'll probably kill him. Cam too. That's another name that I'll never want for a kid. Cam."

"Me neither," Zander said. "Me neither."

Donna and Brenda still sat by the pool in the sun. Brenda ordered some drinks.

"What did David say when you first told him about Zander?"

"Alexander was about three and I wrote a letter. I don't know why. I'm glad now, but I shouldn't have. But when I thought he might be David's, I worried. Something could happen to me; Cam could find out. At least David would know, in case Alexander needed him after all. Plus he was the only one I could even talk about it to. It was a torture to think about it and be the only one who knew."

"What did David say?"

"What all men do at first in that kind of case. Denied it. Got mad. Then he called back later and was apologetic; that was a habit he had. So then he argued I should leave Cam. Again. I heard him argue that case so often, I practically should have called him when I did leave, just to congratulate him about being right."

"How'd he argue that case?"

"I was miserable, and that was bad for my kids; I should leave him on my own account, not his, David's. I would get custody of my kids because the mother always does. If Alex is really his, he doesn't want Cam to raise him. Maybe he's not. Maybe he's even somebody else's. And so on."

"Typical male response," Brenda agreed. "What about Pete?"

"I was so miserable with Cam, that I ought to leave even if Cam got Pete, because I would still get to see him! Visitation! Can you imagine?"

"No," Brenda smiled. "Or yeah, that he thought that was a bright idea."

"Then when he saw Alex when Alex was ten, DNA tests were better. David, ever the doctor, wanted a blood sample!"

"How were you supposed to arrange that?" Brenda laughed again.

"I don't know. But when I called about Ginny, from then, he's been really good about it. No grumbling and no denials. Just took the blood test. But, we're all older, and that helps."

"Not that old. And single."

"Yeah, I guess we all are. Not the way it is supposed to be."

"Heck, who cares how it is supposed to be?" Brenda smiled.

"I hear you. It doesn't turn out that way anyway."

"Well, is David not attractive when he's not forbidden? 'Cause now he isn't."

"Now? Well, I'm glad he's not married right now, not for David's sake, but for Alexander's, because his wife would pull back on his caring about Alex. But I only think of maybe getting them together. I'll leave David alone to get used to fatherhood, at least insofar as fatherhood is possible. In fact maybe I'll chase other women off for _that_."

"I'll help you."

"Thank you," Donna laughed. "That increases my confidence a hundredfold."

"There's grandfatherhood too," Brenda said. "Which you've got to get used to just as much."

"Another thing in common," Donna said. "It would be a lot more fun than with Cam."

"A lot of things would be more fun with David than with Cam. For example, everything."

"I already know that," Donna said, laughing with Brenda.


	50. Chapter 50

**Part 50**

Bobbie heard a knock at the door. She went and opened it, and was surprised to see Zander.

"Hi," he said. "I came to ask you something, if you have a minute."

"Me?" she asked.

"Yes, you," he said. "Carly isn't here, is she?"

"No," Bobbie said. "But come in, Zander. You want to talk about something you don't want her to hear about?"

"It's not so much that," he said. "I'll talk to her about it later. For a different view."

"OK," Bobbie said. She motioned to him to sit down and wondered what it could possibly be.

"You know about my father issues," he said.

"Yes. Cameron is a real bear."

"Well, I guess I should say, my paternity issues, then."

"Paternity issues?"

"Carly didn't tell you?"

Bobbie looked perplexed.

"She's more trustworthy than I expected her to be," he went on. "Well, it's this. My mother told me just recently that she thought somebody else was my father. And we did a blood test and it came out that somebody else was."

Bobbie frowned, thinking. "Now I know why she was asking me about Carly and myself."

"She did?"

"The second time she was here, I think. Asked me how I got along with Carly, and what our relationship was like. I remember her talking about whether it would be different if it was the father instead of the mother. I think we agreed that men were different," she smiled a little.

"Maybe," Zander said. "But maybe not. The bigger difference is you gave her for adoption, right? And her adopted parents knew they were adopting. Well here, Dad didn't know he was getting a – a – fake, and my actual father didn't know he was one at all. Now they both know the truth."

"Who is this actual biological father?"

"Dr. Hayward."

"Oh! Of course. It comes together now, why he was there when you were in the hospital."

"The heart condition was in his family."

"I see."

"He's been good to me, and great about everything. He said he understood Dad was my father the way that counts. I sort of dismissed it as much as I could. Then today something happened that got me wondering. One thing, what way counts? You can grow up with anybody once you're born. But you have to be born."

"Sure," Bobbie said. "In the most fundamental way, Dr. Hayward's way is the one that counts."

"It's been in my head and I accepted it, I thought, but today it really hit me. I lost my temper at Dad and David just stopped me. Calmed me down. And the other night, after I had talked to Dad and told him what he'd have to do to see Ginny, I was riled up until David came up and talked to me."

"Maybe he can understand your temper better. It can be a physical thing."

"That's exactly it. That's what it is that was hitting me. Physically, he's my father. He's my father, not Dad."

"That's so confusing for you. Especially when you didn't know."

"Yeah. I feel all at sea now. Then those two times I mentioned, I felt – it's strange, I can't think of a work for it. Safe."

"I think that's normal, for a kid with their parents, so I'm sorry you don't already know that feeling."

"You think Carly never knew it either?"

"Carly knew she was adopted. She looked for her birth mother on purpose. You just got this out of the blue. And I knew I was giving her up for adoption. Dr. Hayward, if he'd had a choice, might not have chosen to give you up."

"By the time he knew anything at all, it was already too late. That's why I'm so grateful to Carly."

Bobbie looked at him compassionately. "I met Virginia Benson," she went on. "She was a kind woman. The three of us, she, Carly and I could have been together. Carly could have called her Mom, which she did, and me Mother, which she does. Virginia would have liked that, too. Your case is harder, I bet."

"This is where men are different. Carly wouldn't take punches at either of you. You and Virginia wouldn't throw punches at each other. Or talk to each other on purpose to upset the other."

"No," Bobbie smiled. "I doubt that. But with Carly and I it was tough at first. She had issues about me giving her up. And it sounds like you don't have that."

"And I guess Carly and Virginia got on all right."

"Not perfectly. Better than you and your dad, that's for sure."

"You see, I understand why Dad would be resentful, I really do. Still, I want to know all about David."

"That's natural. Adoptees often look for their birth parents. They're curious. Well, there's something in it, for a lot of people at least. You're pretty much like an adoptee. Half of one."

"They have the fact their parents really wanted them. Really wanted a child."

"I'm sure you're Dad wanted you, in that way."

"He thought I was his, though."

"Yes."

"Do you feel funny, I mean, does Carly bother you? Seem like a stranger?"

"She used to. It'll never be the same as if I had raised her, but she's not completely a stranger. I see things of myself, or my family, in her. Not just physical things, either."

"You liked Virginia, though. I could be obnoxious to David. I'm pretty sure he doesn't think much of Dad. Not that that's unusual."

"You can't be obnoxious to David. That's impossible. Trust me on that."

"Thanks. I will. I think you're the only one I know who can even guess what it might be like."

"Whatever I can do to help, just ask."

"Thanks, Bobbie. What do you think of the grandfather issue? I don't even know if David wants to be a grandfather. He just is. I've taken my stand with Dad, and Carly and I agree on it, so it's OK. I think we have to tell Ginny all about it when she's old enough. I don't guess it'll be a real big deal to her she has these two grandfathers, but it could be hard for her to get there's one she doesn't get to see. I hope he manages to turn into a human being before she's old enough to have to understand that. But I don't know."

"She'll still be a child, so you won't need much explanation, and you're thinking of it already, so you'll know exactly what you want to say. She'll have to get there's no grandfather on her mom's side, too. So having two on your side is OK. There's nothing exclusive, either. You don't have to pick one."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm glad about that. Dad can see her when he improves, and David can do as much as he wants, Dad or no Dad. Though I guess if Dad thinks David's on it then it could affect his approach. He'll take it in the worst light, I'm sure. He did all the work, Hayward did none of the work, which he always points out. He'd see that as him getting the shaft."

"He ought to understand there can be more than one grandfather and that his problem has to do with him, not with Dr. Hayward."

"That's the type of thing he has a hard time with, I think, but you're right. He'll always right."

"I hate those type people!"

"Me too, mainly because, the problem I have is Dad usually is right. He's not right in the right way. I don't know what I'm talking about, but somehow he's wrong even when he's right."

"Trust your gut," she said. "And you'll do all right."


	51. Chapter 51

**Part 51**

Jackie Baldwin had worked at her cousin's firm since she had been admitted to the bar. She had specialized in domestic relations. She liked talking to clients about their problems, and you had to like to listen to people talk about their problems if you were a domestic relations lawyer. She had been at it for twenty years now. She'd handled all the firm's grandparent visitation cases, and was considered the guru on the subject in the hallways of the firm. That was why the case of Cameron Lewis really intrigued her. She'd never run into the paternity issue coming up in the grandparent context, or the adult-child context.

"Grand-paternity," she said to her cousin, with mock solemnity. "Can you imagine them ordering grand-paternity tests?"

"If it comes to that, I'll have to run away to an island in the Pacific," he answered. "Clients! How do they get themselves mixed up like this! And it will only increase in the future. The generation coming up to be grandparents will be so mixed up!"

When Cameron Lewis came in to talk to Jackie about the subject, saying he didn't want to sue or threaten anything, but that he wanted to know a little more, because his son had said something to him that gave him the idea his son had contacted a lawyer and knew something about the subject.

"That's a good attitude," Jackie said, encouragingly. "In these cases, especially, that you avoid court actions and try to deal with the parent and adult child relationship first. You wouldn't have the case going unless that relationship were non-existent or poor. Usually, one is going against the other parent, not your own child, but your grandchild's other parent. But where it's your own son in opposition, that factor is a lot stronger."

"I'm not going to get anywhere until I can get along with him, and that's been a lifelong struggle I haven't made much headway in. His life long. I only want to know as much as he seems to know. Do you think my lack of a biological relationship means I'm not a member of the family, period?"

"I doubt it," Jackie said. "At least, it's an issue. With the facts you've given me, it can at least be argued that you are the child's grandfather. There are some cases of third party visitation for aunts or uncles or grandparents who became like parents. You'd have the argument you were like a parent. Really like an adoptive parent, which is treated the same for most purposes. I'd hate to argue the other side. They would look like real jerks claiming that you can raise the child, support him, he's got your name all these years, and oh, by the way, you aren't a DNA match and so you aren't my father. I don't think the courts would go along with that. It's just gut instinct, but in domestic relations they are not going to get technical, and the presumption of legitimacy applies, that is to say, he is conclusively presumed to be your son because he was born and conceived during the marriage. It would have gone the other way, too. When he was a minor, this would not necessarily have gotten you out of supporting him, for example."

"OK."

"Now the fact you have trouble getting along with your son could hurt you, even without that issue."

"Nothing I've ever tried works on this kid. I have another one, and he's fine. So I don't get it, even yet. This paternity thing only adds another layer of difficulty. I consider it a case of ex-wife revenge."

"There's a lot of that going around," Jackie said. "This is so long ago, to come out, though. Really different. You really didn't know about it?"

"No, I should have, but I was in the earlier years of my practice and what went on at home got by me, I guess. Plus the biological father is a colleague from back then, who I would have thought was at the hospital as much as I was."

"I guess it's really floored you."

"The thing that amazes me most is my ex-wife having an affair at all. Not that we were story-book happy, but her personality. I would never have thought she'd have enough personality for him. And he couldn't have done it just to get at me, or he'd have seen to it they got caught. Besides, we had nothing against each other. Even when he must have been actually fooling around with her, between he and I it was all a friendly colleague relationship. He's got to be the best liar in the world."

"How long was he around?"

"Not long at all! He was in another state soon after that. He came over once, when the boys were young, and there was nothing odd about it. He did ask to see the boys, but why not? He'd been a friend of ours. He knew my older son. I had no idea he just wanted to check out the younger."

"So it's the younger of your two sons? Did you and your ex have any other children?"

"No, those two are it."

"Does your older son have children?"

"No."

"Is he married?"

"No. He's only twenty-four, and he's still in college, because he was injured seriously when he was nineteen."

"What about the younger son? Is he married, how old is how?"

"He's not married and never was. He's twenty-two. He has only this one child. He's no longer with the child's mother, but somebody else yet."

"All this and only twenty-two?"

"All that, and some more."

"Some more, like what?"

"He ran away from home after the accident. The accident his older brother was injured in was a hunting accident. We were out hunting and Alexander shot his brother."

"Oh my. He must be a real mess."

"He ended up here – we're from Florida – where he dealt drugs until the crime lord he was working for fired him, had him beaten up for doing something wrong. Wrong as far as that system is concerned. Oh, the mother of the child is the crime lord's wife. This mobster seems to be out of town on a long sabbatical, because he's not causing any trouble right now, and Alexander is actually getting along with the mother of the child pretty well."

"OK. Where's your ex-wife?"

"Hanging around her with her ex-lover, the sperm donor for Alexander. Alexander had an attack and ended up in the hospital. It turned out he had an inherited heart condition. His biological father came; his family's medical history explained the problem. We have it treated. Well, my ex-wife does whatever she can to promote this biological father and son relationship."

"Make it into something more than biological."

"Exactly. And she really lucked out. He has been married three times and never had other children. He's divorced. Really, the timing couldn't be more perfect for her."

"You think they're involved again?"

"Who knows? She said it was over way back by the time Alex was born, but for all I know he could have flown in to see her often. I guess it's not that likely, or I'd have run into him more. And if she was involved with him now, I guess, she'd make sure I knew it. They'd have no reason to hide it from me now. They'd prefer the opposite. I see him with her, but also, I see him with Alexander."

"Without her."

"Yes. At least, the last time."

"Did you son say you can't see your grandchild because you're not his biological father?"

"No, that's the strange thing. He must have talked to a lawyer, who must have told him something like what you've told me. What I remember is him saying the relationship between he and I - he meant the not-biological – our not getting along - would come out, and he seemed to think that was his trump card."

"It could be, but it depends why."

"If I could answer that, I might not have these problems. My father was strict. With Peter I could be reasonably strict. Then with Alexander, it doesn't work. You try something else. It doesn't work. Then you try something else. It doesn't work. He's mad from before and that compounds it."

"Did you get a divorce over this?"

"No, I'm not sure of the reason for the divorce; she could tell you, I think. She was almost no help raising them, so everything I did had a multiplied effect."

"I see. She didn't disagree with how you handled Alexander?"

"Nope. And she didn't have any better ideas, either. Recently she has taken to complaining I prefer Peter. I don't prefer him, it's just that I never had to try as hard with him and he never started hating me. Well, with Alexander everything spirals out of control before you know it."

"How dead set against you is he?"

"Not completely, but I don't understand perfectly what he wants. He wants me to change, he says. I criticize him too much, and he says I think he's stupid. I have a hard time with the accident. Everybody else in the family has forgotten it. Even Peter, my older son, he was the one who got shot. At first it looked like he's be a paraplegic, and never walk again. But he overcame all that."

"Is he in college here, or somewhere else?"

"Over in Switzerland, near the clinic where he got his treatment. It's one of the top places in the world for that kind of thing. He wants to go into it, after his experience. Become a physical therapist."

"Does he get along with Alexander?"

"Yes."

"Maybe he can help you."

"I'd hate to burden him with that."

"See if he thinks it's a burden."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I can't talk directly to Alex, because my ex-wife and her sperm donor are always in the way. See, the attack he had. I happened to be there. It's the type of thing stress brings on, and he and I were arguing as usual. But it was his heart, and it turned out that it was actually really lucky I was the one who was there. I'm said to be the cause of his stress, though. I may be, but I didn't know he was vulnerable to stress then. I've tried to be more careful with him now, but an old pattern will come back into play, and I really have to watch out. And neither my ex-wife or her sperm donor are any help. Peter could be, though. It's something he might like to do for his brother."

"Maybe you can find a way to get along with Alexander."

"It's be a miracle. It was already to the point where I could barely talk to him. The years on the run didn't help like I thought they might. I thought it couldn't get worse, but along comes this biological father thing and it did."

"Does that have to make it worse? Does it change your attitude towards him?"

"It hasn't, that I can figure. No, I don't see that it has. Strange, isn't it, but the only difference to me is this former lover of my ex-wife's suddenly thinks he has some claim to take up for Alexander, who of course can't resist that."

"Sounds like a tough situation. But in some ways, it's not too bad. It could have been worse. If it had come out when Alexander was a minor, and if you had gotten divorced then, it would have made a messy custody or visitation case."

"Yes. I can give my ex-wife credit for waiting until they were grown, at least."

"Well, if you can give your ex credit for anything, you're farther along than a lot of people," Jackie said. "I see it every day."

"You really must. How can you stand this type of law, anyway?"


	52. Chapter 52

**Part 52, briefly NC-17**

"It is harder than it looks," Brenda was telling Donna, as they sipped iced tea by the pool. "The hot lights make you feel like you're going to melt. It melts your make up and wilts your hair, so people keep fussing over you to fix it. Somebody's always touching you. They're just doing their job, but it still gets you jumpy after awhile. Then those artistic types who are in charge, sometimes, they can get really unreasonable. Shots that seem perfectly adequate to you are unacceptable to them and you can't identify with them enough to feel the necessity for continuing and re-doing everything."

"Everything has its ups and downs," Donna said.

"Yes. It's fun in some ways; those are some of the downs, but you get to move around, do different things. It doesn't get humdrum. Different people. So it you don't get along with somebody, you don't have to figure they are going to be around driving you crazy indefinitely."

"I've been taking classes in interior design. It sounds like it could be similar."

"I bet it could. You'll have different clients over time. But their artistic taste might be horrendous!"

Donna's phone rang. "Yes?" she answered it. "No, I'm sitting here by the pool with Brenda. The park? How come? Just come to the pool. Well, bring this surprise over to the hotel." She turned to Brenda and told her, "It's David and he wants me to go over to the park." She went back to the phone. "No, I'm sitting here with Brenda."

"Go ahead. I should study a little anyway." Brenda took her history book out of a bag.

"You're sure?" Donna asked her.

"Sure. See what he wants."

Donna went back to the phone. "OK. I'll be there in a minute." She got up. "I'll be back," she said to Brenda.

"Take your time. Zander is probably studying somewhere and I can't let him get in more study time than I do!"

"That's true. We have a point to prove about the superior intelligence of women here!"

"See you later!"

"OK."

Donna walked over to the park. She looked for David and found him. He had Ginny, and her stroller.

"Hey, that _is_ a good surprise." She took the baby from him. "Hi sweetheart," she said, fussing over the baby a little bit. "How did you end up with her?" she asked David.

"I went back with Zander, and he wanted to study, then I went down to see Ginny, and Carly said I could take her for a walk."

"Wow, that's impressive. How did you charm her into that?"

"She came up with the idea herself."

"How did you get her to come up with that idea herself?"

"Donna!"

"All right, all right. She was happy with you right there. Almost as if – no, never mind. Here, go back to David," she said to Ginny. "For a minute." She felt choked up a little bit.

"What's wrong?"

"You'll just say I shouldn't be sad about it. I'm not going to tell you."

"You shouldn't be sad about it. There. I already told you. So, out with it, Donna."

Donna laughed. "OK," she said. "I was only thinking it was nice you could hold your baby granddaughter when you never got to -" she stopped, trying to catch her breath.

"Yes, it was a rotten thing that you didn't tell me right away," he said in a teasing tone, deciding it would be useless to be serious and argue with her. "You must have been suspicious from the earliest signs of pregnancy. Really awful of you to take three years or more to even mention it, and over twenty-two to test it. And Cam probably wasn't even there, either."

"How'd you know? He was in another part of the hospital doing surgery."

"A lucky guess. I can't picture him with a baby."

"Neither can I. Which shows you how much attention he paid to them as babies. I can't picture him doing what you're doing now, just holding Ginny. I wonder why he'd even want to see her."

"The only possible connection he has to Alexander who isn't already biased against him, maybe."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa booooooooooooooooooooooooo," said Ginny.

"I think that means, 'you're wrong, Granddad. I already don't like him,'" Donna said.

"Oh, Ginny," David said. "Make up your own mind. Don't just adopt the opinions your elders tell you."

"Well, Cam would just think she should adopt his," Donna said. "Here, come to Granny," she said to Ginny. "I have some opinions I want to indoctrinate you with, and I can't start too early."

David gave Ginny to Donna.

Audrey Hardy was taking her daily walk through the park. She saw a couple she didn't know, with a baby. "Good afternoon," she said. "Your daughter is such a sweet little baby."

The woman laughed. "Oh, thank you for the compliment. But this is my _grand_daughter."

"Impossible!" Audrey declared. "You look exactly like one of those career women who put off having their children until the last possible minute. I'm a nurse and I've seen many of those."

"Thanks," the woman said, again. She even blushed a little, and looked rather prettier on that account.

Audrey smiled and walked on.

Brenda and Zander invited Donna to go with them to London, since Peter was going to meet them there.

Flying over the Atlantic, Zander said to Donna, "I'm nervous about seeing Pete."

"I hope it's not because of this paternity stuff," Donna said. "Pete said it didn't bother him. I heard him with my own ears."

"That's what he says," Zander said. "David said he thought the world revolved too much around Pete, and he resented Pete's existence for awhile. But you know something? It didn't bother me. And I feel bad about that."

"That's what I want you to have, though, sweetheart," Donna said. "Your father put you in Peter's shadow so long. I want you to have somebody like that. A friend, Dad's age, that cares about you specifically, and has nothing to do with Pete. It's not going to hurt Pete and it will help you."

"Pete could use a friend Dad's age."

"That's true. Maybe _I_ can do better now. Like I might have, by you. I could have made a bigger issue of it and argued with Dad more. I was always afraid to argue with him. I don't think he'd have physically hurt me, so I don't know why."

"It's his hulking imposingness," Brenda said.

Donna smiled. "That's as good a description as any."

"Yeah, and that he'd say unkind words," Zander said. "He thinks if it's only words, it can't hurt, I think. But they do after you hear them enough. I know he'd say it's too easy for David, but David says kinder words."

"Well, your Dad was never so hard on Pete with his words, so I don't mind that it's 'too easy for David' which you're right, would probably be Dad's opinion. I wish I had taken more time with you to tell you the good things about yourself."

"Cam thinks that's going to spoil a child, no doubt about it," Brenda said, clearly not in agreement with the opinions she attributed to Cameron.

"I'm glad you talked to David, just you, Alex," Donna said. "Like when you knew that his ex-wife was a police chief. I didn't know that. I like that."

"You like that he was married to the police chief?"

"I like that you found out something I didn't know. Shows you're friends."

"For lack of a better way to put it," Zander said, "I don't think we can be just friends. We know we're related."

"OK," Donna smiled. "You can be more than friends, as far as I'm concerned."

"So can you," Brenda said.

"Hush, you," Donna said. "We are anyway, or were, that's why we have Alexander in common."

"You get no complaints from me," Brenda said, sighing and smiling and taking Zander's hand. "I like what you and David can come up with just fine."

Julia met them at the airport. She was polite, thin and regal, and taller than Brenda.

"Nothing like you," Zander said to Brenda in an undertone.

"I'm glad you think so," she said.

They checked into the hotel. Julia helped her unpack a little, while Zander went downstairs to change dollars for pounds.

"So how is it going? Must be going well, since you brought him here."

"Sure is."

"What happened to the heart condition?"

"The treatment works, so far as we can tell. It can't be certain, but no new attacks. He hasn't had any before that, though. It's weird. But he's feeling normal."

"And he's OK learning his father's not his father?"

"Pretty much. It's affecting him, but not in some negative and devastating way."

"He has a bad past and now two new issues since we last talked," Julia said.

Brenda made a face at her.

"But he's cute," Julia added, repentantly.

"Life is going to pass you by, while you wait for perfection, Julia."

"Point taken."

"Where's Simon?"

"On an assignment in Africa."

"For long?"

"A couple of months."

"How does that impact this relationship?"

"Such as it is? Minimally, I hope. Unless he meets the love of his life there."

"Or you meet yours here."

The next day they went to the train station to meet Peter.

Walking along the embankment on the Thames, in the late summer evening sunlight, Zander found the girls had gone ahead and he could talk to his brother.

"Alex, you know all this makes no difference to me, and I love you just the same. But does Dad know? I guess he's angry."

"He knows. He's angry."

"I'm shocked. I told Mom it didn't fit her."

"Nobody thinks it fits their mother. But now that I've seen both of them, I think they fit better than Mom and Dad. A better team, anyway."

"You know for health purposes," Peter said. "But I don't see why you need to see the guy now. Hell, Alex, you have enough issues with Dad. All this does is complicate your life."

"Don't feel alone, Pete. I'm still here. I won't turn away from you because you're the son of the Evil One."

Pete laughed. "Alex, I liked having a fellow sufferer!"

"I still am, anyway. I grew up with Dad. But anyway, you'd like David fine. Mom thinks we both need a friend in Dad's age group."

"I guess you've got one."

"He might have been your stepfather, so it's not impossible for you."

"Well, he wasn't. Not that I don't agree that they are better off apart. Mom and Dad, that is. At least, she surely is."

"I'll say."

"I try to picture the guy she could end up with," Peter said. "I'm prepared to like him, whoever he is."

"You'd have to," Zander said. "He can't possibly be worse, whoever it'll be. Now as to the woman who could end up with Dad. . ."

"A real witch!" They laughed. "But seriously, Alex, actually, that could be good. She could end up being a better foil and bring out the better qualities rather than the worse. I love them both. But they weren't meant for each other."

"Yeah, that's true," Zander said. "Nothing truer could ever be stated."

Julia dropped back, and talked to them.

"You and Brenda are so different," Zander said to her. "Like Pete and I. Brenda and I were bad in school and you and Peter were good in school. Then get into our fathers. Psychiatrists could have a real job studying both sets of siblings."

"We're different," Julia agreed. "It's good though. We can keep each other for real. I tell her to settle down, which she needs, and she tells me to live it up more, which I need. She was wild in school. My father came down hard on her. It didn't work, but he kept doing it."

"That sounds familiar, too," Pete said, looking at Zander.

"You've got a good relationship with your sister," Donna said to Brenda. "On the surface, anyway. Do you think so?

"It's better. I always got compared to her. Like Zander with Peter. We had that in common, in a big way. My father was similar, but in kind and not in degree. Not as bad. With it, it might have been from the different mothers. Julia's died. He loved her, I'm sure of that. Then he married my mother, which must have been some kind of disaster."

"Do you know what the diagnosis is exactly?"

"No. I should find out. I usually leave all that alone. I figure I can't help her out."

"You grew up without a mother. Your father doesn't seem to have accounted for that?"

"No, or he'd just figure, so did Julia, and she's a success, you know?"

"Did he know how successful you became?"

"No, he died before that. But if he started being nice to me because I had become successful, I don't think I'd have cared."

"You'd see it for how shallow it is."

"Yes. Same with Cam, really. But I don't think Zander will have that kind of success. Just the kind Cam doesn't appreciate."

"I like that you don't treat me with kid gloves," Zander said. "You know I can take a lot of pressure." He was lying back, feeling Brenda sucking down on him. He moaned.

"If I hurt you though, you can tap me on my left ear," she said.

"Oh thanks! Great idea. You're not, though."

After a little while, he said. "that way's not going to help with conception."

"Plenty of time for both," she grinned. "This trip alone should do it."

"If it doesn't happen this trip, I don't know _what_ it would take," he grinned. "I hope you saw as much of London as of the inside of this room."

"I saw enough of London," she said. "But if it didn't happen, all we have to do is keep trying."

"Oh, yeah. No problem with that. No problem at all."


	53. Chapter 53

**Part 53**

David flew back to Port Charles for the weekend, just before Zander was to return from London.

He saw Cameron in the Port Charles Hotel Bar.

He went over. "Well, I guess we can skip the comments about each other being here," he said to Cameron, hopefully.

"I guess so," Cameron said dryly. "consider it all stated already."

"OK."

"There is something I want to ask you."

"OK," David said, a little leery, but willing to deal with it.

"Well, don't get all defensive. Think how you feel about your ex-wives. OK, now about mine. It's this. What could you possibly see there? I mean, a guy like you - how, especially then, did she have enough personality to intrigue one like you? Was it just her looks? You don't seem like the type for that. I'm genuinely curious. Don't take it all wrong."

"You must have been working way too hard. See, her personality takes some time to get to. Now you were married to her, so I'd have thought you would have had the time to find it. That surprises me, but on the other hand, it makes sense. You didn't take the time."

"OK, I hear you. But she must have hidden it from me, anyway. She didn't choose to reveal much."

"Your loss, but then again, could be that gentler type of personality would never gain any respect from you. You're such a hard ass, Cam. You'd need somebody really, really, tough. My last ex-wife, maybe. Oh, you met her, didn't you?"

"Very attractive woman," Cameron agreed.

"Somebody like that, who would never try to placate you, who would argue with you and be able to beat you at it half the time."

"Thanks for the advice," Cameron said, slightly amused.

"Any time." David went upstairs.

Jackie Baldwin was sitting with some friends in the Port Charles Hotel Bar. She noticed Cameron at the bar. A little while later, she saw a young man go up to him.

Jackie went to the bar to buy a drink and partly on purpose to see if she could hear anything. She was curious, it was a public place, and she suspected the young man might well be the Difficult Alexander.

"You don't have two fathers," she heard Cameron saying. "You have a father and a sperm donor. Look Alexander. I've thought about this, and its been said and it's probably true. I have been too easy on myself. I really shouldn't have let you handle a gun."

"Because I'm too stupid and irresponsible!" the young man said, vehemently enough to turn a few heads in his direction.

"No, I don't mean to imply that," Cameron said, evenly, "I'm trying to-"

"Sure you do. What else would you mean? You never mean anything else, Dad! Shut up!" The young man stormed out.

"I couldn't help overhearing," Jackie said, going over to Cameron. "Was that him, Alexander?"

"Yes," Cameron said.

"He _is_ very hostile."

"Do you think I said something wrong?"

"No, I see what you were trying to do. He didn't."

"That's our history. I say a thing and it has the wrong effect. Other than what I intend."

"I can see that would be very frustrating," Jackie said.

The young man came back.

"I'm sorry, Dad," he said, suddenly reasonable and calm. "You were actually making a concession and I cut you off."

"You're not used to it," Cameron said, mildly. "That's what I was trying to say."

"OK."

"Anyway, it was my fault, too. Mostly my fault. I see it now. Maybe I didn't soon enough. But go ahead and go home. This is enough stress for one hour."

"I can handle it, Dad!"

"I don't want you to try. Enough for now. I won't look for you. You can look me up if you want to tell me something else."

"All right." The young man left, looking back a couple of times, as if he weren't sure he really had seen and heard what he thought he had.

"Not totally hopeless," Jackie said, to Cameron. She had been sitting next to him at the bar and the young man hadn't noticed her.

"That's the first time anyone has ever thought that," Cameron observed.

David dropped by Donna's room.

"Cam is downstairs," he said. "True to ex-husband sensibilities, he asked me what I saw in you."

"I'll be kind enough not to ask you what you told him," Donna said. She laughed.

"That's kind, but it wasn't like that, really. I told him my ex-wife would have been a lot more his type."

"The chief of police? I don't know her, but as a fellow woman, I've got to defend her. Cam would be too much of a punishment, don't you think? After you broke her heart. I'm sure that was the way it was. It's impossible that she broke yours."

"Of course it's impossible. That had already been done long before."

"Oh, shut up David!" she said laughingly. But he looked so struck, she felt sorry right away. She went over and put her arms around him impulsively. "OK," she said.

He let her hold him like that for a few seconds.

But when she went to let go, she hesitated a second, and felt his hair touch her face, and a long forgotten feeling swept over her, so that in the next second they were kissing as if the last twenty-three years had not gone by yet; urgent and desperate, like it was their last chance, as it had seemed to be then.

Finally, she tore herself away and laughed, turning away from him. "It's like being taken back 23 years! Did you hear an old song?"

"No." 

She stopped laughing and felt suddenly sad. This extreme sort of swing in her emotions was another thing that was familiar, but only from that time so long ago. "How can it feel the same like that?" she asked, as if asking the air, still turned away from him. "That same desperate quality. There's no reason for it. We could stay here all night, and nothing would be in the way of it."

Then they were both struck dumb, realizing they were both remembering their old dream; the one thing they never got to do and always wanted to do was being able to wake up together.

"Maybe that wasn't the reason for it," he said, like those thoughts had been spoken aloud.

"You created a good trip down memory lane," she said, trying to laugh it off.

There was a knock at the door.

So relieved she thought she'd be glad even to see Cameron standing there with his worst scowl, Donna opened the door. 

It was the one person on earth best suited to show up at that time.

Zander stood there. "Oh, I'm glad you're here," he said to David. "I just talked to Dad, and I thought -"

"Come in sweetheart," Donna ushered him in, taking his arm.

She glanced at David and stopped cold.

David was looking at Zander. There was a light in his eyes, which was a light that should have showed up in Cameron's eyes, and never did, even if he was looking at Peter.

For a few seconds, she felt in a rush, a flash of what it must feel like to in love. In these few seconds, she loved David like it was meant to be, in all the old songs and all the old stories her mother and friends convinced her were false.

This momentary feeling had overwhelmed her, so that she stood dumb. David had already taken up the slack.

"I saw him too," David said to Zander. "Did he come up to you?"

"No, I went over to him. I saw him and just thought I would talk to him. I remembered about how it was better if I talked to him when he didn't expect it. We started in as usual, then he sort of said – I could hardly believe it. Anyway he said something like he shouldn't have let me have a gun. I got mad, walked off. Then I went back and he didn't want me to have any more stress." Zander spilled these words out to David in a rush.

"Sit down," David said to him.

"At first I thought he was just insulting me again. He was saying the accident was his fault too, but I thought he meant it only because I was so stupid he shouldn't have let me handle a gun. I still think that's why he might think it's his fault, but I said something like that to him and he said it wasn't that way." 

"Brenda said something to him, like that, when I was first here, Alexander," Donna said, recovered. "I've told him that too, since. Not putting it that you were too stupid, but that he's the one who said you were – well anyway, that he was the adult and should have been supervising better."

"Yeah, Mom, he made some reference to it having been said."

"Are you sure he was admitting it?" Donna asked. "Or just referring to me or Brenda being wrong suggesting that?"

"He seemed like he was admitting it," Zander said. "I walked outside for awhile and calmed down and went back and said I was sorry, and I realized he was trying to make a concession. That's when he said I had enough stress. And said he wouldn't look for me, that I could look for him."

"That's all good," David said. "You're finally getting somewhere with him." David patted him on the back.

"I hope so," Zander said, sounding more relaxed. "It's starting to feel like I imagined it."

"Let's go up to Brenda's," David said. "I'll walk with you, in case Cam happens to be in the elevators."

"OK," Zander said. 

"Sorry, Mom," Zander said.

"Never say that!" she hugged him. "You did right to come here."

"OK," Zander said. "Thanks," he said to David.

Donna watched them out, then closed the door, breathing a sigh of relief.

There was another knock. It was Brenda.

"Oh, Brenda!" Donna said. "Come in. Or, don't. Alexander and David are on their way to your room."

"You're OK?" Brenda asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I have," she said. "But it passed. Go ahead, I'll call Alex and tell him to wait for you."

"OK. You're all right, aren't you?"

"Of course, sweetie. Don't worry about me. Alexander talked to his father again, it's all right, but he'll tell you about it."

"Cam?"

"Yep."

"Poor Zander. OK. I'll see you later. Call me if you need me."

"Thanks, sweetheart," Donna said, watching her off.

When Brenda had disappeared into the elevator, Donna went out, determined to find Cameron.

**Part 53**

David flew back to Port Charles for the weekend, just before Zander was to return from London.

He saw Cameron in the Port Charles Hotel Bar.

He went over. "Well, I guess we can skip the comments about each other being here," he said to Cameron, hopefully.

"I guess so," Cameron said dryly. "consider it all stated already."

"OK."

"There is something I want to ask you."

"OK," David said, a little leery, but willing to deal with it.

"Well, don't get all defensive. Think how you feel about your ex-wives. OK, now about mine. It's this. What could you possibly see there? I mean, a guy like you - how, especially then, did she have enough personality to intrigue one like you? Was it just her looks? You don't seem like the type for that. I'm genuinely curious. Don't take it all wrong."

"You must have been working way too hard. See, her personality takes some time to get to. Now you were married to her, so I'd have thought you would have had the time to find it. That surprises me, but on the other hand, it makes sense. You didn't take the time."

"OK, I hear you. But she must have hidden it from me, anyway. She didn't choose to reveal much."

"Your loss, but then again, could be that gentler type of personality would never gain any respect from you. You're such a hard ass, Cam. You'd need somebody really, really, tough. My last ex-wife, maybe. Oh, you met her, didn't you?"

"Very attractive woman," Cameron agreed.

"Somebody like that, who would never try to placate you, who would argue with you and be able to beat you at it half the time."

"Thanks for the advice," Cameron said, slightly amused.

"Any time." David went upstairs.

Jackie Baldwin was sitting with some friends in the Port Charles Hotel Bar. She noticed Cameron at the bar. A little while later, she saw a young man go up to him.

Jackie went to the bar to buy a drink and partly on purpose to see if she could hear anything. She was curious, it was a public place, and she suspected the young man might well be the Difficult Alexander.

"You don't have two fathers," she heard Cameron saying. "You have a father and a sperm donor. Look Alexander. I've thought about this, and its been said and it's probably true. I have been too easy on myself. I really shouldn't have let you handle a gun."

"Because I'm too stupid and irresponsible!" the young man said, vehemently enough to turn a few heads in his direction.

"No, I don't mean to imply that," Cameron said, evenly, "I'm trying to-"

"Sure you do. What else would you mean? You never mean anything else, Dad! Shut up!" The young man stormed out.

"I couldn't help overhearing," Jackie said, going over to Cameron. "Was that him, Alexander?"

"Yes," Cameron said.

"He _is_ very hostile."

"Do you think I said something wrong?"

"No, I see what you were trying to do. He didn't."

"That's our history. I say a thing and it has the wrong effect. Other than what I intend."

"I can see that would be very frustrating," Jackie said.

The young man came back.

"I'm sorry, Dad," he said, suddenly reasonable and calm. "You were actually making a concession and I cut you off."

"You're not used to it," Cameron said, mildly. "That's what I was trying to say."

"OK."

"Anyway, it was my fault, too. Mostly my fault. I see it now. Maybe I didn't soon enough. But go ahead and go home. This is enough stress for one hour."

"I can handle it, Dad!"

"I don't want you to try. Enough for now. I won't look for you. You can look me up if you want to tell me something else."

"All right." The young man left, looking back a couple of times, as if he weren't sure he really had seen and heard what he thought he had.

"Not totally hopeless," Jackie said, to Cameron. She had been sitting next to him at the bar and the young man hadn't noticed her.

"That's the first time anyone has ever thought that," Cameron observed.

David dropped by Donna's room.

"Cam is downstairs," he said. "True to ex-husband sensibilities, he asked me what I saw in you."

"I'll be kind enough not to ask you what you told him," Donna said. She laughed.

"That's kind, but it wasn't like that, really. I told him my ex-wife would have been a lot more his type."

"The chief of police? I don't know her, but as a fellow woman, I've got to defend her. Cam would be too much of a punishment, don't you think? After you broke her heart. I'm sure that was the way it was. It's impossible that she broke yours."

"Of course it's impossible. That had already been done long before."

"Oh, shut up David!" she said laughingly. But he looked so struck, she felt sorry right away. She went over and put her arms around him impulsively. "OK," she said.

He let her hold him like that for a few seconds.

But when she went to let go, she hesitated a second, and felt his hair touch her face, and a long forgotten feeling swept over her, so that in the next second they were kissing as if the last twenty-three years had not gone by yet; urgent and desperate, like it was their last chance, as it had seemed to be then.

Finally, she tore herself away and laughed, turning away from him. "It's like being taken back 23 years! Did you hear an old song?"

"No." 

She stopped laughing and felt suddenly sad. This extreme sort of swing in her emotions was another thing that was familiar, but only from that time so long ago. "How can it feel the same like that?" she asked, as if asking the air, still turned away from him. "That same desperate quality. There's no reason for it. We could stay here all night, and nothing would be in the way of it."

Then they were both struck dumb, realizing they were both remembering their old dream; the one thing they never got to do and always wanted to do was being able to wake up together.

"Maybe that wasn't the reason for it," he said, like those thoughts had been spoken aloud.

"You created a good trip down memory lane," she said, trying to laugh it off.

There was a knock at the door.

So relieved she thought she'd be glad even to see Cameron standing there with his worst scowl, Donna opened the door. 

It was the one person on earth best suited to show up at that time.

Zander stood there. "Oh, I'm glad you're here," he said to David. "I just talked to Dad, and I thought -"

"Come in sweetheart," Donna ushered him in, taking his arm.

She glanced at David and stopped cold.

David was looking at Zander. There was a light in his eyes, which was a light that should have showed up in Cameron's eyes, and never did, even if he was looking at Peter.

For a few seconds, she felt in a rush, a flash of what it must feel like to in love. In these few seconds, she loved David like it was meant to be, in all the old songs and all the old stories her mother and friends convinced her were false.

This momentary feeling had overwhelmed her, so that she stood dumb. David had already taken up the slack.

"I saw him too," David said to Zander. "Did he come up to you?"

"No, I went over to him. I saw him and just thought I would talk to him. I remembered about how it was better if I talked to him when he didn't expect it. We started in as usual, then he sort of said – I could hardly believe it. Anyway he said something like he shouldn't have let me have a gun. I got mad, walked off. Then I went back and he didn't want me to have any more stress." Zander spilled these words out to David in a rush.

"Sit down," David said to him.

"At first I thought he was just insulting me again. He was saying the accident was his fault too, but I thought he meant it only because I was so stupid he shouldn't have let me handle a gun. I still think that's why he might think it's his fault, but I said something like that to him and he said it wasn't that way." 

"Brenda said something to him, like that, when I was first here, Alexander," Donna said, recovered. "I've told him that too, since. Not putting it that you were too stupid, but that he's the one who said you were – well anyway, that he was the adult and should have been supervising better."

"Yeah, Mom, he made some reference to it having been said."

"Are you sure he was admitting it?" Donna asked. "Or just referring to me or Brenda being wrong suggesting that?"

"He seemed like he was admitting it," Zander said. "I walked outside for awhile and calmed down and went back and said I was sorry, and I realized he was trying to make a concession. That's when he said I had enough stress. And said he wouldn't look for me, that I could look for him."

"That's all good," David said. "You're finally getting somewhere with him." David patted him on the back.

"I hope so," Zander said, sounding more relaxed. "It's starting to feel like I imagined it."

"Let's go up to Brenda's," David said. "I'll walk with you, in case Cam happens to be in the elevators."

"OK," Zander said. 

"Sorry, Mom," Zander said.

"Never say that!" she hugged him. "You did right to come here."

"OK," Zander said. "Thanks," he said to David.

Donna watched them out, then closed the door, breathing a sigh of relief.

There was another knock. It was Brenda.

"Oh, Brenda!" Donna said. "Come in. Or, don't. Alexander and David are on their way to your room."

"You're OK?" Brenda asked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I have," she said. "But it passed. Go ahead, I'll call Alex and tell him to wait for you."

"OK. You're all right, aren't you?"

"Of course, sweetie. Don't worry about me. Alexander talked to his father again, it's all right, but he'll tell you about it."

"Cam?"

"Yep."

"Poor Zander. OK. I'll see you later. Call me if you need me."

"Thanks, sweetheart," Donna said, watching her off.

When Brenda had disappeared into the elevator, Donna went out, determined to find Cameron.


	54. Chapter 54

**Part 54**

At Brenda's door, Zander's phone rang. "OK," he said. He hung up. "Mom says don't move, Brenda's coming up."

The elevator opened, and Brenda came out. "Wow!" She exclaimed, "What did I do to deserve this? Two really gorgeous men at my door."

"Flattery will not improve your grades," Zander said, kissing her. "You went by Mom's? That's nice."

"Yes, and she looked like she'd seen a ghost, and said she had, and it has something to do with you talking to Cameron."

"You think she's all right?" Zander asked.

"She said so," Brenda said.

"She's fine, Zander," David said. "You gotta quit worrying about the forty-somethings. It's their job to worry about you."

Brenda unlocked the door. "Yeah, you worry about Ginny," she said to Zander. "And anybody else that comes along that way."

"Come in," Zander said to David.

"No, I'll go. Good night."

"OK. See you later."

"Sure."

When Donna got downstairs, she saw Cameron talking to a strange woman in the bar. She went up and ordered a drink. In the background, an old song played. "Against the Wind." It bothered her. She thought she might be up all night anyway, and she was terrified of her memories.

The woman got up and went back to a table. 

Donna went over to Cameron. "Oh, I wondered when you'd show up," he said. "You're the only one who hasn't."

"The only one of what?"

"The group you made into some type of twisted - family, I guess you could call it? I told Alexander he could talk to me when he wants. I don't need you. I don't need your sometime lover."

She started to respond to that, but then realized he had gotten her off track. "Did you mean it?" she demanded to know. "Telling Alex you took some responsibility for the accident? Or were you being sarcastic? Because he may have missed it."

"None of your business."

"What the hell do you mean?"

"He's an adult, and it's between him and me, the one who raised him. You and your sperm donor didn't, and suddenly you think you can be the mediators. Well, you can't. I'm not talking to you about this, no matter what you say. And you can drop the self-righteous attitude."

"I'm trying to help him! I was there and I raised him as well as I could! Shut up, Cam! Now tell me if you really meant it, or were you confusing him somehow?"

He didn't answer her. He just looked at her.

She stared at him hard, willing him to say or do something. He just sat there, maddeningly calm.

Finally, she took her drink and flung it at him.

He didn't flinch. The same woman he had been talking to before was suddenly there, asking him if he was all right.

"Quite," he said, staring at Donna frostily. A small bit of alcohol dripped from his hair onto his face. Donna put the glass down, and stormed out.

"Your ex-wife?" Jackie asked him.

"Yes," he said, getting up. "How'd you guess?"

Later that week, Jackie was flying back to Pine Valley after a deposition in Washington.

Walking back to her seat from the lavatory, she noticed Cameron on the plane.

"Hello," she said, "what a coincidence you've been in Washington, too."

"I was in Florida and only stopped with this flight there. Did you go for work or for fun?"

"For work. I had a deposition there. You know, I have an idea for your situation. We do it in divorce cases, to settle the property. Since you don't want to go to court; it's a good alternative. You can use lawyers as mediators, too. Anyway, what we do is have a meeting of the clients and their lawyers. Four people. The lawyers help the clients talk without getting emotional."

"It's worth a try. I don't know who his lawyer is, though. I could try asking him."

"I could talk to him directly, that would start the whole process, in fact. Give him an idea of it that he might find helpful. I'd have to find him, though."

"I'm an expert on that. I can show you how."

Zander and Brenda were on a plane, flying to Pine Valley.

"If you're going to study, I'm going to study," Brenda said. "I can't believe you beat me for that summer session. Even if it was only a tenth of a point."

"You must have let me win. With that stay in the hospital, it's absurd."

"Well, you had nothing to do but stay in bed and study. But Economics didn't thrill me. And this is going to be tough. Chemistry. I'm not very scientific."

"You're trying to throw me off with false confidence. It won't work. I'm going to understand this chemistry as well as you will if it's the last thing I do!"

"Go for it," Brenda said, giggling.

They had been reading for a little while when Brenda said, "Whoah, I feel sick." She grabbed the airsick bag and went back to the lavatory.

"Flying never made me sick before," she said when she returned, sitting down and taking a deep breath.

"It's not making you sick now. Dum-dum. I'm going to win for this semester too - I can feel it!"

They looked at each other, and smiled, and then kissed.

David came out of the operating room. Two other doctors were coming towards him.

"No way," he said. "I'm going to the airport to pick somebody up. I'm leaving now."

"Can I walk to the car with you to ask you about this case? It's in emergency," said one of them.

"Mine can wait," said the other.

"OK."


	55. Chapter 55

**Part 55**

"Hey," David said, seeing Zander and Brenda as they came off of the plane. "I'm glad you're here."

"Thanks," Zander said. David took his bag from him. "I'm not that delicate," Zander said, smiling.

"Do you have your prescription?" David asked.

"I remembered it. I remembered it in London. I'm a real responsible patient."

"That's good."

The change of scene was relaxing for Zander. He looked out the car window and asked questions.

They drove through town and then outside a little way, on a country road, then up a long and twisted driveway to a cabin.

"How can you get out of here in the snow?" Zander asked.

"I avoid it," he said. "I'll just stay at the Pine Valley Inn a lot of the time, especially in the winter. I didn't want you to stay there now, though, not this time, anyway."

"Such a nice place," Brenda said, after they had settled in one of the bedrooms and had come back out into the living room.

"I can build a fire there," David said, indicating the fireplace. "If it gets cold enough."

There was a knock at the door. David went out into the hallway to get to it.

"Where is he?" Zander heard a voice saying out in the hallway, in a good humored tone. The owner of the voice came through the doorway.

"Whoa! That is what I call a chip off the old block. Can't believe it! This is Alexander!"

"Yes," Zander smiled.

"It's me! Uncle Leo!" "Uncle Leo" came over and took his hand, shook it, patted Zander on the back, and walked around him as if inspecting him.

"Man, unbelievable!" Leo said.

Zander smiled again, tolerant of Leo's amused inspection.

"How do you feel?" Leo asked. "Is that heart condition doing anything to you?"

"No, I'm all right now. I hope you've had your heart checked out."

"I'm not from the side of the family with the bad heart," Leo said. He laughed. "I'm from the crazy side," he said.

"We can't take him to Vanessa, David," Leo said to David, who came in then with a girl. "She'll know."

"Oh, you are so right," said the girl. "She'll at least be suspicious right off."

"This is Maggie, Zander," David said. "She's my cousin."

"I'm your second cousin, or your cousin once removed, or something like that," she said, shaking his hand. "I'm really glad to meet you." Zander smiled. He had no cousins as near his age as Maggie obviously was.

"This is Brenda," David said to Leo and Maggie.

They greeted Brenda warmly. Zander had been predisposed to like them and now he really did.

"I have something for you," Zander said to David. It was some photographs from a set he and Carly had taken. One of Ginny, one of Zander and Ginny.

David looked really touched, and thanked them. He showed them to Leo and Maggie.

"What a doll!" Leo said. "She is cute. Can't believe she's your granddaughter, David. I can't believe you're a grandfather!"

"Yeah, it's rather sudden, when I was never a father before."

"Who knows how many more there may be out there!" Leo said, with a laugh.

"Leo!" Maggie exclaimed.

"Now would you honestly be surprised?" Leo's eyes twinkled.

"No," Maggie said.

Everyone else laughed.

"Well, I hope not," David said.

"You'd worry about their Q-T intervals," Zander said. "And their sanity, I suppose, from what you say."

"For a grandson of Vanessa, you're pretty sane, Alexander," said Leo.

"Just how crazy is your mother?" Zander asked David, turning back to him. "Is she in an institution?"

"No," David said.

"Unfortunately," said Maggie.

"For the rest of the world," Leo added in agreement.

"What has she done?" Brenda asked.

"She took over my father's business," David said. "She turned it into an illegal drug operation – though she insists that is what it always was. The guys she's been married to or involved with – always something going on there. Either they are crazy too, or she's doing something with their money or their ex-wife or one of their relatives. Or she's interfering in our lives. A little while ago, Leo and I found out she has another son out there. Younger than I, but older than Leo. We don't know him that well."

"Not much worse than with me," Zander said.

"Well, it's different, though," David said. "One thing, is you were always with your mother. Yet Vanessa gives her middle kid up to other people. Another thing, you're mine. That's OK. He's Vanessa's. That's scary."

"Uh, so are you two," Maggie said. "You're Vanessa's."

"And if some third party thought we were nuts on that account, I wouldn't blame them," said Leo, "so I'm wary of old Trey."

"That's his name," David explained. "Adopted, his name is – what is it?"

"James Kenyon the third, I think," Leo said. "Trey."

"I hate to point this out to you," Brenda said, "But this woman you say is crazy raised you two, but not him. Isn't he the one likely to be of sounder mind?"

"I told you she was brilliant," Zander said.

"You caught us in our double standard," David said. "We have it, that's true. Now Trey, he went and told Vanessa who he was. He's starting to get himself caught up in her schemes. So we don't want her to know about you."

"What is it, exactly that she'll do to me?

"We don't know," said Leo, "And that's what we find so frightening."

"To her, you'll represent some sort of family heir," David said, a little more helpfully, "oldest son of the oldest son, you know? She could end up trying to make her enterprises really big, just for you. And interfere – she can do that better than you could ever imagine."

"She could find out about me anyway," Zander said. "You saw how long the secret lasted with Dad."

"Maybe she even knows already," Brenda said.

"Possible," David admitted.

"I think I'd like to see her, though," Zander said. "Anyway, it's probably better to just tell her than to think she doesn't know when she might, or keep thinking that when she somehow finds out."

"Maybe," David said. "You're probably right. Some other time, though. I think I'd rather first get Donna to go talk to her and then see what she thinks."

"OK," Zander said. He smiled. Cameron had never said a thing like that, ever.

"Who was your father?" Zander asked Leo.

"I don't even know him," Leo said. "All I know is that Vanessa had an affair with a married French vineyard owner, and I don't even know for sure if that's true. He wouldn't leave his wife. Therefore, it was me and Vanessa. And her series of husbands. The closest I ever had to a father was David."

They talked late into the evening, Zander finding out about Leo's life with Vanessa, which seemed pretty interesting, if unusual. David had escaped most of that because his father had lived until he was twelve, and he was in college by the time Vanessa had really gotten started on her odd life. This life was the one where Leo's father and a series of wealthy husbands or lovers keeping herself and Leo in high society, until Leo got tired of living like that and had gone to David.

"So this is the dysfunctional family you escaped from," Leo said.

"There is something dysfunctional about both my parents' families," Zander said. "Both Mom and Dad aren't always totally functional. This one hardly sounds worse. Only a little different. There's even more of a sense of humor to it," he added. "It's like you're crazy, but you're still not down and out."

Zander and Brenda were in the coffee shop of the Pine Valley Inn, waiting for David to come back from the hospital, where he had gone for an hour or so.

Anna Devane, chief of police in Pine Valley, sat at the bar, sipping coffee. She looked around, aware as she usually was. She said to an assistant: "There's a small file in my desk, labeled "Lewis," go and get it for me."

When the assistant came back with it, Anna looked at the pictures in it. There was a photo of Alexander Lewis, aka, Zander Smith.

Anna compared the young man she was looking at with the photo.

She went over to him. "May I sit down?" she asked, flashing her badge.

"Sure," the young man said. "What did I do?"

"I'm looking at you as potential victim."

"Oh," Zander said, uneasily, "of what?"

"I don't even know, it would be beyond my comprehension, and possibly yours. Have you been in the hospital?"

Zander started to get what it might be about. "Dr. Cameron Lewis, right?"

"Right. Your father. He and I talked. I know you've been treated in a hospital in New York State."

"My EKG showed the problem and it's all taken care of."

"What with?"

"This," Zander said, pulling out the bottle with his prescription in it.

"Can I see that?"

"Sure." 

Anna told her assistant to write down the name of the drug.

"All regular, routine, FDA-approved," Zander said.

"You know a lot for a patient," Anna said.

"My father's a cardiologist."

"And there's nothing else?" she asked.

"Nothing else?"

"For your treatment. You aren't here in Pine Valley for any sort of treatment?"

"No, no."

"Dr. Hayward hasn't told you there is something else you should do?"

"No," Zander answered.

"You should tell me, for your own safety, regardless of what Dr. Hayward told you. What else did he recommend?"

"Nothing, it's not like that."

"You have a doctor back in New York?"

"Dr. Quartermaine."

"She knows everything about your condition, what you're doing for it, and what you're taking for it?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what Dr. Hayward was doing there in the hospital you were in, in New York?"

"Being – family friend."

"All right. This is your only chance. Here's my card. Tell me when you are ready to, anything he wants you to do over and above taking this medicine. All right? Your life could depend on it."

"OK, officer – I mean, chief."

"Watch out," was all she said, as she got up. "I don't think you're telling me everything. Whatever it is, get a second opinion. Don't take it, don't do it, unless Dr. Quartermaine knows all about it, and agrees. And your father."

"OK."

They watched her walk off. Brenda giggled. "What in the heck has David done in the past?" she asked.

"Must have been some experimental sort of treatment, and between that and Dad talking to her, she thinks David is carrying out some sort of experiment on me."

"That sounds like that's about it," Brenda said.

"You could just tell her, David, if you want to," Zander was saying, when David had joined them. "As soon as she knows, it will explain it all for her."

"She's a detective," David said. "Let her figure it out."

Zander felt like laughing. He smiled. "You want her chasing after you, don't you?"

"No," David said. "It's her job, let's see how long it takes."

"What of the good people of Pine Valley?" Brenda asked, a bit mischievously. "Should their police chief be spending time chasing shadows?"

"They do it all the time," David answered.

"She's some woman," Zander said. "She's sharp. Smart, beautiful. All that and then that English accent. It would slay me if I didn't have this one," he squeezed Brenda's shoulder. "Too bad you screwed it up, David."

"How did you know it was me who screwed up, and not her?"

"Genetics," Zander answered.


	56. Chapter 56

**Part 56**

Jackie had to laugh at Cameron's instructions. He'd make a good spy, she thought.

Alexander Lewis, it appeared, used the name Zander Smith.

He had a schedule at PCU, which schedule was unknown now, because it had recently changed.

He had a job teaching tennis at the country club. The schedule to this job was not consistent but seemed to include most afternoons.

When he had his daughter, he was home, but if not, he might be home, or he might be at the Port Charles Hotel.

Or he might be at Kelly's, or maybe in the park, either studying or talking to somebody. If you really couldn't find him, you should look in the hospital. It was possible he had been admitted. Sometimes he studied in the PCU library, sometimes at the Country Club, sometimes at the Port Charles Hotel and sometimes at Kelly's. He and the model liked the Chinese restaurant on Baker Street.

He had a car, but he often walked or took a bus, or got rides from people.

Jackie thought trying to catch up with him might mean days of wandering around Port Charles, hoping to run into him.

The hotel was the best bet. Eventually, he would end up there. His girlfriend stayed there; his mother was there a lot, and now even his sperm donor was there frequently.

Jackie sat in the hotel lobby, watching people come and go. This was interesting, anyway.

"Then the police chief interviewed me. She thinks I might be a victim of Dr. Hayward's crazy medical ideas," Zander was telling his mother. They were walking the baby in the park.

Zander pushed the stroller, and Donna walked beside him.

Donna threw her head back and laughed.

"She says I'm not telling her everything," Zander went on. "Which is pretty smart of her. She's right. It's just not what she thinks."

"She's on the job, I'll say that for her. Lucky people to have a police department so on top of things."

"Leo and Maggie are really great," he said. "I really want them to see Ginny." He stopped for a minute to fix Ginny's blanket. The walk had put Ginny to sleep.

"Ask them to come here," Donna suggested.

"Nobody wants the grandmother to find out about me, though. Her name is Vanessa, and they call her that, even her sons do. I said I'd like to see her. David said maybe, said you should go and see her and then say what you think."

"Where is she?"

"I don't even know! But I thought it was cool David wanted to know what you think. Dad never does that."

"Oh, no. Quite the opposite. But why shouldn't you see her?"

"They think she's nuts and that she'll take over my life, or something. Leo told me a lot about her. She is really a character. She was all over Europe with him. Married many times. A scammer. Odd for a grandmother, isn't it?"

"Odd great-grandmother, too."

"Oh, yeah. She's that, too, isn't she? I wonder what she would think of it? And how crazy can she be? I wonder if we have any effect on our children at all. David and Leo are great, so she didn't hurt them. David had a good father, but Leo didn't have one at all. He said David was more like a father to him. They're so far apart in age, it's more like that."

"I wonder if they call her Mom when she's there."

"Maybe they do. When they talk about her, they don't. And Pete and I say Mom when we're talking."

"Funny they don't."

"She must be a real piece of work. Go and see her, Mom, won't you?"

Finally, the next day, Jackie saw the Difficult Alexander leave the hotel with the model. They went to Kelly's diner, and were sitting down over a cup of coffee. Ideal, she thought.

"Hi," she said to them. "My name's Jackie Baldwin. I want to help your father and you."

"Are you some kind of counselor?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm a lawyer. If you would give me the name of yours, we could work out some sort of a meeting."

"Oh, so he's going to sue me."

"No. I convinced him you need some mediators to talk."

"Oh," he said. "Give me your card. I saw a lawyer once, but I have to check with her to see if she wants to be involved."

"Fair enough," Jackie said. She handed him the card. "Think it over. I'm convinced you and he are getting nowhere. You need to try something else."

"You're right. I'll think about it."

Jackie left, amazed at how easy it had been. She had expected it to be so much harder.

Donna rang the doorbell at the imposing mansion in Pine Valley. Alexander had made her some cards on the computer. They said she was an interior decorator with the firm of Barrett and Smith.

A maid showed her into a dark, gloomy sitting room. The ceilings were high. It felt haunted.

Vanessa Bennett was expensively dressed, and polite. Donna recognized her from the picture in the photo album David had given to Alexander.

"I'm the interior decorator," Donna said.

"I haven't asked for one," Vanessa said, wondering.

"This is the address I got." Donna made a pretense of looking at a slip of paper from her purse. She looked around at the large, dark, hall. "You need more air and light here! It's so gloomy! Don't you want it more cheerful? What your grandchildren must think of this place!"

"Grandchildren?"

"Oh, dear, I know one shouldn't imply another woman is old enough for that. I have a granddaughter myself."

"You're a young grandmother. And you're a great deal younger than me, my dear, isn't that clear? You're young enough to be my daughter. Sit down. You'll be wanting to know where to plant the microphones. I can show you the best places for it." Her tone was still polite, almost friendly, throughout.

"Microphones?"

"The FBI is so transparent these days."

"The FBI? Why would the FBI want to bug your house?"

Vanessa laughed. "Perhaps not. No, the FBI would not have sent someone so obvious and incompetent. You are some project of Anna Devane's. Tell Anna and David that this place is their inheritance. I have no grandchildren, you see, dear, because Anna and David are all about their careers."

"You must have spent a lot of time on that yourself, to have this place. Or was it an inheritance?"

"Of sorts, my dear, of sorts."

"Don't you have any pictures of your children?" Donna asked, getting up and walking about in the large, dark, room.

"I once kept David's wedding picture on that mantel," Vanessa answered. "But then it became apparent I would have to change it so often. And the others, well, they're younger. One has more pictures of the oldest."

"Yes. It's true people often take more pictures of the oldest. By the time you have two, you're so busy. You don't have time for sentiment."

"You're a perceptive girl, aren't you? Tell Anna I said you'll go far. Now if you would excuse me."

"You have work to do? Not any children or grandchildren coming to see you?"

"Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Donna was on the porch of the Pine Valley Inn.

"What do you think of Pine Valley?" David asked her, coming up to her.

"It's a nice town. More cheerful than Port Charles."

"Come take a walk up to the lake."

"Why walk to the lake?"

"Because it's there."

"Did you show it to Alexander?"

"Of course. He's going to show Leo how to wind surf on it someday."

"You sound quite sure of yourself."

"Why not? This town is more cheerful than Port Charles. And it has no Cameron." 

They walked out to a boathouse. Donna looked out onto the lake. It was pretty, and peaceful.

"Well, what did you think of the old witch?" David asked her.

"Of Vanessa? She seems harmless."

"More naïve words have never been spoken."

"She says to tell you and Anna that her house is your inheritance. She has no grandchildren, because the two of you only pay attention to your careers."

"She would blame me she has no grandchildren."

"Who else's fault is it? Your brother's still young. "

"It's her fault. No, it's yours."

He was right behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders.

She walked away.

"Still a coward!" he said to her retreating form.

"I am not!"

"Will you ever just do what you want?"

"And what is that, Mr. Arrogant?" she asked. She was laughing as she said, "Or, no. I'm sorry. Excuse me. _Dr._ Arrogant."

"If you had listened to me before, Zander would have gone to Pine Valley Academy. No hunting accident. No running away."

"You can't prove that!"

"You can't disprove it," he laughed, pleasantly surprised at how much more spirit this older version of Donna had, than the younger one.

"He could be doing life in prison and you can't disprove that!"

He smiled. "No he wouldn't. He ended up in jail after you and Cameron had him. Cameron did a bad job. You did a bad job. I don't care if he's over twenty-one; you should give him back."

"Back?" She laughed helplessly.

"Yes, I want him back. You couldn't have had him without me."

"Nor without me!"

"Close your eyes," he said, going up behind her and putting his arms around her.

"Stop," she said. But she closed her eyes.

"Hear the water lapping? Imagine it's Tampa Bay. Right outside the -"

"Don't," she said.

But she stayed still, not wanting to be thought a coward again. The memories he had stirred up were a sweet torture.

"Vanessa thought at first I was from the FBI," Donna said, walking back. "Then she decided I was too incompetent. I'm an employee of Anna's. She talks like you're still married."

"It's like her to imagine the divorce is a scam to help Anna put a sting on her."

"You say she's crazy, but it seems she could end up in jail, not in a mental institution."

"Crazy that way, yeah."

"She must be sharp though, or wouldn't she be in jail?"

He laughed. "You've got a point, detective."

"I assume my boss really does try to bring her down? What a conflict that would have been for Anna."

"It was a pain in the neck, all right."

"Such a mother-in-law! No wonder-" she stopped. "What a nice night!"

"I think it would be easier for her grandson," David said, passing on challenging her for what she had been thinking and didn't want to say, "especially as he comes fully grown, than for her sons. She'd be devoted without being as demanding. It might even take a lot of heat of off me, for that matter. Still, it goes against the grain to tell her anything. Zander can deal with things, but I have this instinct to protect him, and she's a perfect example of what from."

"Alexander said you said something about interfering. How does she interfere?"

"Maybe she'll try to train him to run her business. Leo used to help her with her cons. She taught him. She put one of her companies in my name. I got arrested."

"All of that is easier for Alexander to deal with than Cam. It doesn't sound that much like emotional manipulation. Just general lunacy."

"Perfect wording! General lunacy."

"And she passed it on," Donna teased.


	57. Chapter 57

**Part 57**

Brenda went into the brownstone apartment, humming.

Zander came in a few minutes later. He went to kiss her.

"You look gorgeous," he said. "I mean, if it's possible, you look more beautiful than you usually do."

She put her arms around her neck. "That's because I'm pregnant," she said.

He stared, then smiled. "Are you sure?"

"I came from the hospital. Look," she picked up a slip of paper from the table. "All in writing; there's the test result. Here's the pamphlet on how to exercise, and here are the vitamins. See, all complete and documented. Everything, except for the paternity test."

He went over to her and put his arms around her, and held her tight.

"I don't need a paternity test," he said.

"Cocky, aren't we?"

"Yes," he smiled. "It feels good from the beginning to know it was coming because we wanted it. And not to care about paternity tests."

"I get handicap points for school."

"Oh, no you don't!" he laughed. "This doesn't make you less smart."

"All those hormones!"

"I can see you're going to use this for all it's worth!"

"You bet!"

"Well, go ahead. I feel like coddling you. Let's see. What should I make you for dinner?"

"I love you," she said.

"I love you," he said. "Both of you."

She giggled. He picked her up and carried her to the couch.

"This is going to be really cool," she teased.

Donna sat at the bar in the Pine Valley Inn and ordered a drink. There was a handsome man sitting at the other end.

"Visiting?" he asked her.

"Yes," she answered. "It's a pretty little town. Do you live here?"

"Yeah. I'm the DA. Jackson Montgomery." He came to a chair closer and held out his hand.

She shook it. "Donna Lewis," she said. "I bet there is not much crime."

"There's some."

"I ran into the strangest woman here," Donna said, "I went to see her about an interior decorating job. On Mountain View Avenue. Apparently I had the wrong address. She said she didn't want one, but she thought I was there as an undercover FBI agent, to plant a bug."

"Vanessa Bennett?"

"How'd you know?"

"Of all the people who live on that street, it sounds most like something she would say."

"Does she have a record?"

"As far as records go," said the DA, "she's a fine upstanding citizen."

"But she's under investigation?"

"Generally."

"What exactly is she suspected of?"

"Drug sales."

"Marijuana and cocaine, and that sort of thing?"

"No," he answered. "Illegal pharmaceuticals. Long standing business. Either smuggled, or unregulated. Unapproved drugs, either the drugs themselves or the use they go to."

"I see," Donna said. "She must be quite a character."

"She is. Our police chief, Anna Devane, knows a lot about her."

"Not enough to arrest her, though?"

"No. She was once married to Vanessa's son, Dr. Hayward. On occasion we've had to look into Dr. Hayward, or Dr. Wayward as he's known in our office, using unapproved or illegal drugs for some patient."

Donna smiled at the nickname. "A mother and son operation?" she asked.

"We've never been able to establish that either. Anna thinks maybe growing up in that environment is how he knows so much."

"No convictions there, either?"

"Dr. Hayward is usually claiming he saved someone's life."

"So they don't want to prosecute."

"Something like that. Or Anna falls for the story. I'm never sure."

"You've got an interesting job."

"Yeah, it can be that way. Can I buy you another drink?"

"Oh, no. I have to get going."

"Nice talking to you."

"Same here."

Monica called David and said, "I have this case I could use your help on, if you're here in Port Charles again. I was reading an article of yours trying to find out something to do."

"I'll come over there. What's with the patient?"

"Great, thank you. Well, it's this. 59 year old white male, 137 KG, severe central MR. I did the MVR. Good result and he's stable. But the first chest x-ray showed major interstitial honeycombing infiltrate in the whole left lung, while the right lung was totally normal. Now what would cause ARDS in one lung, but not the other?"

"I don't know. Try maybe a double lumen tube. Ventilate them independently to protect the good lung from the high airway pressures you need to ventilate the bad lung. Veno-arterial ECMO would be an option."

"But ECMO inevitably leads to bleeding complications - I thought to try high-frequency ventilation - at least it would minimize the threat of barotrauma to the good lung." 

"Maybe. Sometimes that will salvage a dismal situation."

"I'll maybe start that and then we can look at him?"

"OK."

"I'm so happy for you!" Donna said to Brenda and Zander. She had gone to the brownstone from the airport.

"And," Brenda said. "I want you to enjoy this every step of the way."

Donna hugged her. "I will," she said, with a mysterious smile. "The fun is in being the grandmother. I don't have to _be_ pregnant. You'll have your turn at that some day."

"I guess this is step one," Brenda said. "You can't imagine how excited I am."

"I bet. Are you going to stay here?"

"I guess I'd better get out of a hotel room before I end up going to the delivery room from one. I was thinking I might buy Zander a house. In the neighborhood, maybe walking distance of here and Sonny's penthouse, in case Carly moves back in with him someday."

"To be close to big sister," Donna said. "Does Virginia know about this?"

"I told her," Zander said. "She didn't find it too interesting. She was busy pulling my hair at the time. But I'm sure she's real happy about it." 

Later, Zander asked Donna what she thought of Vanessa Bennett.

Donna related what happened in her visit. "I don't think she'd be any real harm to you," she said. "David said that was naïve."

"He asked for your opinion," Zander said. "Only to label it naïve."

"Well, that's better than freezing me out. I'd rather have my opinion heard, evaluated and labeled as naïve than to have it considered of no consequence."

"Like Dad would, you mean."

"Yeah. And my opinion of David's opinion is that it's the opposite of naïve, whatever that is. Overly suspicious and overprotective. Are you likely to meet her behind his back to carry out drug deals under her baleful influence? So she taught Leo to be a con man, but he's her son and lived with her from birth. You're already twenty-two. You've got David between you and her, in a much better position than he must have been as to Leo. Leo's alive and well."

"And not in jail," Zander laughed. "Maybe you're right, Mom."

"She was awfully odd," Donna added. "I don't think she'd tell you anything useful. She's not crazy. Not literally. At worst, she's a criminal. I ran into the DA, and got to ask him about her. They've never proven anything against her."

"Sounds like Sonny," Brenda said.

"It is kind of similar, isn't it?" said Zander. "Everybody knows. But he's never actually in jail. He has a clean record."

"It's the worst ones who don't get caught," observed Donna.


	58. Chapter 58

**Part 58 NC-17**

"So far pregnancy does not slow you down much, does it?" Zander asked Brenda.

"I don't expect it to slow me down much, period." she said.

She was slick and smooth as silk. He entered her slowly.

"That feels good," she groaned. "Ahhh," she said, thrusting her hips forward.

He put his hands on her hips, not needing to draw them forward. He pushed into her, feeling thrilled at being so deep inside. Her hands went lazily down his chest. Then she lost it, didn't do anything deliberately, and was just yelling.

It charged him up to be able to make her so happy. She shuddered, came, and he held her close.

She kissed him on the chest, and then ran her fingers over it.

"I really feel like I should be more careful with you," he said.

"That's really sweet."

He could feel her relax, and she soon fell asleep. "That's right, get plenty of sleep," he said, stroking her hair.

"That _was_ his wife's name," Anna said to Jackson. Their offices were on the same hallway in the municipal building. "Dr. Lewis' wife."

She went back down the hall to her office and found the file.

"That's the name he gave me," she told Montgomery. "Donna. Here's the son; the young man I talked to." She looked at the photograph again. He was a nice looking young man. He looked familiar in an odd way. She tried to remember him from her talk with him.

"Jack come here," she said, after she had been looking at the photo for a little while. "Look at this."

Jackson came and looked.

"Who does he remind you of?" Anna asked.

"Another son of Vanessa's?" Jackson guessed.

"This one is rather young for that. But it must be."

Anna went to the hospital to interview someone on a case. When it was over, she decided to go right back to her office. 

But she was right there at the hospital. She stopped and considered for a moment.

No, there was probably no police case. Cameron Lewis had only succeeded in wasting her time.

But she had brought the file with her, with Alexander Lewis' picture, in case.

Well, there could be something there. Maybe there was a key to Vanessa's activities in this mystery.

Expert at tracking down David in the hospital, she found the right floor. When he came out of a patient's room, she was ready.

"All right, David, who is this?" she said, pulling out the photo and showing it to him.

"You talked to him. You know his name."

"But who is he?"

"Call my lawyer."

"David, tell me who he is and I can close this case. This is another son of Vanessa's, isn't it?"

"Try a DNA test."

"Just tell me. Now where are you going?"

"I'm going to the airport."

"So he's not a patient. Not your patient, anyway. But he has something to do with Vanessa. Don't kid yourself, David. I'm going to find out. And then you _will_ need a lawyer."

Monica and David were in the elevator going to the Cardiac Care Unit at Port Charles General Hospital.

"Then with the double lumen tube and 2 ventilators to ventilate each lung separately - timing is a problem," Monica was saying.

"It takes a lot of effort, but it can be done. Before labeling it as unilateral ARDS you may want to do a TEE to see if there is pulmonary vein thrombosis."

"What will it show?"

"You'd expect to find copious fluid in the tracheobronchial tree."

"This is the second day after the surgery, and he still requires 100 FiO2," Monica said in frustration as they walked onto the floor. "And he can't tolerate being placed supine without saturations dropping to 75 or less."

They went to the patient in question. Monica looked at him in frustration, David examined him and the chart. "It looks like injury to the pneumocytes was the primary lesion," he said, after a minute. "Do you agree?"

"I hadn't thought of that," she said. "Let me see. Maybe. You have something there. So this means that surfactant production was altered."

"Try inhaled surfactant."

"Like what we use for children?"

"The case is desperate enough it's worth a try."

"OK," she said, doubtfully, but not coming up with anything better.

"Let's do aerosolized surfactant 8 cc into the endotracheal tube," she told the nurse, "starting at midnight and at 6 hour intervals."

David and Zander were sitting at a table at Kelly's. David was looking at Zander's chemistry book.

"The gas pressure in an aerosol can is 1.5 atm at 25 degrees C. If the can were heated to 450 degrees, what would be the pressure?" Zander read. He wrote on a piece of loose leaf. "So 1.5 over 25 is as the answer is to 450."

"Switch to K."

"Oh, I forgot that. Why is there more than one scale? We only need one."

"To mess with your mind."

"Professors must sit around trying to invent ways to do that. OK, so" he wrote figures down. "How do you do that? Oh, yeah. So 25 would be 298 degrees K and 450 is 723 degrees K. So according to the ideal gas law, or the combined gas law, or which is it?"

David gave the book back to Zander.

"OK," Zander put numbers in a calculator. "723 divided by 298 times 1.5. That works out to 3.6 atm."

"Now you see why it says on aerosol cans not to incinerate them."

"To tell you the truth, I don't. I'll think about it."

"OK. Think about it."

"I'm glad Dr. Quartermaine had that case, since it brought you here."

"Yes, I came over here just out of interest in that case. It had nothing to do with the fact you live here."

Zander smiled. "Mom doesn't think Vanessa's crazy."

"_That's_ crazy."

"You and she don't agree."

"It's OK. Humor me in this - promise me, for the time being anyway, you'll never talk to Vanessa unless I'm there too. I know you can handle it without me. It's just a whim of mine that I want to be a witness to everything she does."

"That's part of why Mom thought there's really nothing that can happen. You're between me and Vanessa. Do you call her that to her face or just talking about her? Did you ever call her Mom or a variation of that?"

"I called her Mom until maybe the past few hears when Leo and I got in the habit of calling her Vanessa. For some reason, it helps us deal with her. Our issues. Our Vanessa-related issues."

"I guess I'd have called her Vanessa too."

"You'd have definitely picked up that habit."

"It's funny she is - whatever she is - yet she seemed to criticize you for being married many times and you and Anna for being career minded and not having children!"

"Where'd you get that?"

"She told Mom. Not in so many words, but that's the gist of it. Thank you for caring what Mom thought. It means something to me. Dad wouldn't have. I mean, I don't mean to keep comparing you to Dad, I just do, but what I mean is -"

"I've heard Donna say that, too," David said, to let him out of whatever he was apologizing for.

"It's one of Dad's things I don't want to repeat," Zander went on. "I try to listen to Carly. Which amazes me. A year ago I never would have believed I was going to really respect her opinion."

"Brenda, too."

"That's easy. She's so happy. It's the best feeling. I don't even care that I'll have two children before I graduate. I don't even care what Dad says."

"You know where he's coming from, but you are somewhere else. You put a value on some things that he does not."

"Yeah. He'll just say Pete is in college with no kids. Pete'll never have kids until he's already graduated, married. Like Dad did. Everything right."

"While you just like that Brenda's happy. It's OK. You know, I'm glad Donna spent so many hours of her valuable time doing something for you that did nothing at all for Pete. I'm so jazzed about this, that I may even listen to her opinion of Vanessa."

"Vanessa can know. I don't care who knows now. I really don't, so long as you don't. Anna, too."

"Anna has made a giant leap forward."

"How's that?"

"Cam gave her a picture of you. She showed it to me. She had taken a good look at it. Now she knows it's not a medical case. She now knows you're yet another son of Vanessa."

Zander laughed. "You like to play with Anna's mind, don't you, David?"

David walked down by the docks to get to the hotel. It seemed that in this town you could find your way anywhere from the docks.

Donna was standing there, looking out at the water. She smiled when she saw him.

"Did you see Alexander?" she asked.

"Yes."

"What did you do? I mean - well, you don't have to tell me."

"It amounted to helping him with his homework."

Her eyes lit up, radiant. "Thank you."

"Stop thanking me."

"It's so much to ask - for you to love him. I can't help it."

"It's not much to ask. It comes naturally."

"I'm sorry," she said, feeling responsible again that he and Zander hadn't known each other until Zander was a grown man.

"Stop apologizing!"

"OK. If I can tell you something."

"Anything for that!"

"There's this way your eyes light up when you talk about him. I love that. I saw it when he came in my room that night he came up after he talked to Cam down in the bar. I've never experienced anything like that."

"Me neither."

"I'm happy you can feel something for him even though I cut you off all those years."

"You're dangerously close to apologizing."

"OK, I won't do it again. It's just that Cam didn't get it. Not like that."

"He's not in town, is he?"

"I don't think so. I don't know. But I can tell."

He laughed. "Why, is the atmosphere clearer?"

She laughed too. "Yes, it's less heavy."

"Enjoy it while you can."


	59. Chapter 59

**Part 59**

"I'm looking for Dr. Hayward," Zander said.

"He's in Room 3406," the nurse said.

Zander went to the room. David and Monica were on either side of a patient's bed. It looked bad - the patient was under sedation, not talking to them, hooked up to machines. The two doctors were talking about him.

Zander didn't want to interrupt them. He stood and listened.

"I'm amazed," Monica was saying. "We treat this patient like he's a child - inhaled surfactant. Keeping him on his right side to help venous drainage of the left lung. I can't believe it. The pa02 is 180. The peak inspiratory pressure dropped from 40 to 27."

"Start dropping the Fi02?" David asked.

"Yeah. We can do that." Monica sounded like she thought that it was pretty cool they could do that, Zander though.

"Then we'll see what the CXR says," David said.

"If that shows improvement, I'll buy you a drink," Monica answered.

She looked up and noticed Zander.

"Hi," she said. "Come in."

"Is it OK?" Zander asked. "This looks serious."

"It's OK." David said.

Zander walked into the room. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Bad heart, compromised lungs," David said. "The heart exists to pump the blood back and forth from your body to the lungs. Blood takes oxygen out to the cells to keep them going, and flows back to the heart depleted of the oxygen and full of carbon dioxide. The heart takes it and pumps it to the lungs through the pulmonary artery. The blood goes through the lungs, where it loses the carbon dioxide and gets recharged with oxygen. It goes through the pulmonary vein back to the heart, which pumps it out again now full of oxygen to take back out to the cells. If one part doesn't work, the others suffer, in the end, not enough oxygen. Try to fix a part not working and you may be messing with another part."

"You look so solid standing there." Zander said. "It freaks me out to think of all those complex procedures going on in there under that expensive suit. It's so complicated. All those parts. All the chemistry and electricity. And somebody figuring out how to measure it. Like who figured out how to make an EKG and why does it work? Who even figured out it would tell you anything you could use? It's really amazing. You've got to be brilliant to understand it." 

"How are you feeling?" Monica asked Zander, smiling. For some reason, she liked him a lot more on account of the little speech he had just said.

"I'm OK," he replied, looking down at the patient.

"You won't end up like this," David said. "This is something different."

"Poor guy," Zander said.

Zander and David walked from the hospital to the Brownstone.

"I met with the lawyer," Zander said. "Now I've got one and Dad's got one. We're supposed to talk through them."

"Maybe it'll help."

"It's worth a try."

When they got to the brownstone, Zander said, "Come over in the morning. Ginny'll be there."

David had knocked on Donna's door the night before, but she hadn't been there.

Brenda let him in at the brownstone.

"Be quiet," she said, "Donna's asleep in the couch. We were talking, and it got so late." She went out. David sat down and looked at Donna.

Donna stirred a little. She opened her eyes. She sat up.

"My dream did come true," she said, smiling lazily. "I opened my eyes this morning, and the first thing I saw was you."

"This hardly qualifies," he said. He felt his throat constrict. He couldn't speak. Memories crowded his mind, and he could feel her getting up, moving out of his arms.

"I'd forgotten to put conditions on it," she said, standing up.

They could hear the baby crying, then Zander talking to her.

"Our little girl," Donna said. She went back to the bedroom, and soon he could hear her talking to the baby too.

Donna came back in with Ginny. "OK, Granddad," she said. "Look what I can do." She put Ginny down on the floor. Ginny sat on the floor.

"She can sit up now," he said.

"Next she crawls," Donna said. "That's the next big milestone."

"I know."

"But only academically. This you get to see."

He smiled, watching Ginny. He took a toy from the coffee table and set it down in front of her. Instead of touching it, she looked at David and smiled, flapping her arms up and down excitedly.

"She knows you," Donna said.

"I doubt that!"

"You're wrong."

He looked at Ginny again. "It's like they know to be as cute as possible. They need somebody to take care of them. So they get you to want to by being adorable."

"That doesn't necessarily stop because a person has grown up."

"Like Zander?"

"That's an example," she said.


	60. Chapter 60

**Part 60 PG-13**

"The CXR shows marked improvement in the density of the left lung infiltrate," Monica said. "I have the Fi01 down to 50. Pulmonary artery pressure dropped from systolics of 65 to 45 this morning."

"Surfactant was never was reported to work in adults, but in this one case, the results were very dramatic," David observed.

"I have never seen anything that helps in ARDS once it has been established for 4 days!"

"I hope he continues to improve," David said.

"It's a great thing to have happened," Monica said. "I don't know if we want to develop a reputation for this, though."

"You look absolutely beautiful," Ned said to Brenda. They were working in the record company office.

"And I got concerned turning thirty would be a damper on my career," she said. "Now I know it's not a problem. I'll stay barefoot and pregnant."

"What? Pregnant?"

"Yes."

He sighed. But then he said: "Why don't you go and see my grandmother? She'd like to hear about it."

"I've been visiting her every once in a while. But you're right, she'd like to hear this."

"What's going on with Zander anyway? When was the last time he was arrested?"

"He was arrested by a heart condition. That's taken care of. His mother's back in his life. That's doing a lot of good."

"Isn't his father back in his life too?" Ned asked. "Emily said she's seen him."

"Oh, Cameron. Yeah. But he's a jerk. If you think Zander had troubles, you can lay a lot of it at his door. Really impossible man."

"Something about the way Zander talked to my grandfather," Ned said. "Made me wonder if he didn't have a father who was like that."

Brenda considered this.

"I suppose, a lot. Yes. But Edward might stick up for you to outsiders. Cameron doesn't seem to. And Edward ignores you guys more. I mean, he doesn't pressure you as much as I think Cameron must have pressured his sons."

"Sons?"

"Yeah, Zander has a brother. I think Emily knows that."

"I don't think she's ever mentioned him to me. So it's a good thing if Grandfather ignores us?"

"The more the better. Does he ever say anything encouraging?"

"I'm trying to remember," Ned said, laughing. "I don't think so."

David saw Cameron in the hotel lobby.

"Did you get some sort of order of visitation to your adult child every other weekend?" Cameron asked.

"All right, I make no bones about it. I want him back, however late it is. How does it feel to have a co-father? The more I talk to you, the more I'm convinced I should try to do it, no matter how old he is."

"Well, let's see. I'm still shocked at the idea of having a co-parent of any kind."

"Poor you. As if you didn't contribute to that."

"So what she didn't do is my fault, too?"

"Probably at least somewhat. And I'm glad he changed his name himself. By the way."

"You can bet it's not a real legal name change. Anyway, that had nothing to do with you."

"It was in his bones that he needed to do it. It was a gut feeling."

"It was running away." Cameron walked on to the elevator.

"Yeah," David muttered to the closed elevator door. "Running away from you was another good instinct."

Donna was in the coffee shop. David went over to her.

She looked up from something she'd been reading. "Hi," she said. She smiled.

"During all the years you were married to him," David started out, boldly, "did you ever have another affair?"

"No," Donna said, feeling like this question was less serious than it sounded.

"How'd you manage not to kill him?"

"I guess he's back in town and you just ran into him."

"That's a real good guess."

"What did he say? Or would you rather not remember?"

"It wasn't worth remembering. It's something about how I must have a weekend visitation order with my adult son."

"I guess he thought he was being funny."

"Does he?"

"Sometimes. Once he complained that when he makes jokes people take him seriously. His sense of humor is too dry for most people."

"Too dry for kids," David said. "Too dry for Zander."

"Could be. That could be a lot of it. Cam does sometimes come off as bewildered that Zander thinks he's such a bear."

"Cam's the older generation, he should figure out it, rather than leave Zander flying in the wind trying to figure out when he's serious."

"Yes. What do you think of this second grandchild? I know Cam's not going to see it as anything other than irresponsible."

"If it were a girl his age or younger it would be a lot harder than it is. The penchant for these older women helps there. At least they are on more solid ground, especially Brenda. Then as to taking the responsibility of fatherhood seriously, you can only say he's trying his damndest. Of course Cam will think it's not good, and maybe it's not ideal, but what is?"

"I think you're right. I hope this penchant for older women is OK - I mean it could arise out of me not taking good care of him."

"Nothing's ideal."

She smiled at him.

"You just said 'Zander'," he pointed out.

"I'm hearing it so much," she said. "He prefers it."

"Yeah, he must hear 'Alexander' in Cam's voice mostly. Let's go and walk down to the docks."

"Because they are there?"

"Come on, will you?"

Zander and Brenda were at Wang Duck's for dinner.

"Lila Quartermaine and Ned Ashton know," Brenda said. "So it's only a matter of time before Emily knows."

"Everybody'll know," Zander said. "The child is destined to be famous, notorious and crazy. His or her mother, the brilliant chemist -"

"Who didn't have a father to help her!"

"Well, you did those problems without help. This is why I point out that it is you who are the brilliant chemist."

"Well, don't forget, you're the brilliant economist."

"Oh, yeah. You know, Dad never helped with any homework, but then, I never asked. Just the way he is, you know, I knew better than to ask."

"The way he is, he'd get you thinking you were stupid for not knowing how to do it already."

"Yeah. I didn't know some things, David said just think about it. Then at the hospital he was explaining something to me and I thought - you know, Dad never took either of us there when we were kids, to show us where he worked, and that's something you ought to do, according to what I've been reading. It's too bad David didn't have children, because it comes naturally to him. Meanwhile other people have them and they're - well, they're not as, they're-"

"They suck," Brenda said. "They're awful at it."

"Well, yeah, that pretty much says it," he said laughing.

"Another thing that comes way more naturally to David," Brenda said, "dealing with Donna, or getting along with her. I don't know what comes naturally to Cameron, if anything, but dealing with women isn't it. Or Donna, anyway."

"What kind of woman would even want to talk to him, let along marry him? I mean, I know Mom did, but she was too young to know better, I guess."

"Maybe that's it. A really younger woman."

"I'd have to tell her what she was getting into," Zander said, laughing. "I can't sit by and let some poor young girl get drawn into that!"

"She won't believe you, _because_ she's young."

"OK," he said. "I'll read my fortune." He unfolded the little slip from a fortune cookie. "Your father's girlfriend younger than yours," he read, in a Chinese accent. "And way stupider."

"Let me see that!"

"It really says that!"

"It does not," she laughed. "OK. Here's mine: boyfriend more brilliant chemist than he let on."

"Here's another one," he said. "Boyfriend really great in sack; fun night await you."

"I don't need a Chinese cookie to tell me that!"

She reached across the table and took his hands.

"Let's go," he said, eyes twinkling.


	61. Chapter 61

**Part 61**

"I brought his childhood photos up for Brenda," Donna told David. They looked out at the darkness by the docks. "So when you get a chance, go over there and see them. If you want to, that is."

"Yes. I'd like to."

"You'll see why I don't feel sorry for you - with your old songs that remind you of me. Look at those pictures, and you'll see I had to think about you every day!"

"I'm sure you didn't, in spite of that."

"You're handsomer, now, than then."

"Gee, thanks."

"Really. Alexander - Zander, will have that advantage. A boyish face. Makes you cute when young, but really handsome later."

"He looks a little like you."

"You think so?"

"Yes. He reminds me of you."

"That's because I'm the one who brought him to you!"

"No, it's his eyes. They're big and round."

"I've got to check that out next time I see him. I've never thought of that."

"Did anyone ever think he looked like Cameron?"

"No," she answered. "Then that wasn't remarkable. That family isn't that close. They weren't around, and so there wasn't much discussion about things like that. So nobody noticed. I thought that was lucky. If they'd brought it up, I'd have tried to say he favored my side of the family. I remember, once, only once, some aunt of Cam's saying Peter must favor my side of the family. I was scared about her turning to the next child, but she didn't."

"Figures. What is it about this Peter that once he comes up, all other subjects and people fade to the background?"

Donna smiled to herself. In David's case, she had decided not to take any offense at prejudice in favor of Alexander over Peter. He was right. Somehow, Alexander came second and always had. Let him come first with somebody, she thought. Who better?

"That's the way those families are," she said, kindly. "You know, so old fashioned, being the oldest son means something."

"My family is actually starting to sound like it's not the worst one in the world. Those families don't sound like they really have much going for them. Money. That's all. Yet they're always right."

"Not always," she said. "Not about everything. Actually, not about much."

"Besides, Zander _is_ an oldest son."

"Yes, yes, he is. In a way, but not really. He wasn't born under those circumstances."

"Well, he could have been."

"Yeah," she said, not wanting to argue with him on the subject. She went over to him where he leaned on the railing, looking out. She put an arm around him, comfortingly - he looked a little hurt. "I'm not allowed to apologize," she said. "So I don't know what to do."

"As long as you don't do that, you can do whatever you want."

"Isn't Ginny cute?"

"She's beautiful."

"The new one will be, too."

"For sure."

David was reading patient lab test results in the coffee shop. He felt someone standing there. Which one is it, he thought, and looked up.

"I've resigned myself to running into Cam like this," he said. "but it's always nice when it's not him."

Brenda sat down, laughing. "This is one of those better times."

"How are you?"

"Good. I feel great. Totally nauseous every morning. I really love it."

"I bet you do."

"It could be better than to be me coming up to you in here."

"It could be Zander, but you're pretty OK," he smiled.

"Well, it could be Donna, too."

"That's marginally OK."

"Do you feel like you left her too soon, maybe? Back in Florida, when you affair ended."

"The question doesn't quite fit, because she was married. She wouldn't leave. You can't go on like that forever."

"I don't blame you for making an ultimatum."

"It's hard to say. I could have given her more time."

"How much? Did you think she really wanted to stay?"

"I was pretty young then. Yeah. It did seem like that. Whatever I was, it wasn't better than the marriage, which could have been better than it looked to me. I thought that sometimes. Later. Other times I couldn't believe it. It was too complicated to handle at that age, I guess. But picture what it does to your ego when somebody won't leave Cameron for you!"

"It couldn't have been that! That would have to be fear, or social pressure, or something. Not a preference for _him_!"

"You never know!"

"I have no way of knowing except that it's absolutely impossible!"

"I like your loyalty. If you're going to love Zander you pretty much have to dislike Cam."

"You do. But you did what you could. I mean, if Cam wasn't so mean, she might have left him, because he would have understood their marriage was a dud."

David laughed. "She would have left him if only he was a nicer guy!"

"I think that may actually be true."

"If I had waited as much as, just a couple more months. Oh, I hate thinking about that. I had trained myself not to."

"Still you realize what's true. It could have been different if you were still there when she learned she was pregnant. Then it could have come up right there that the child might be yours."

"Yeah, and if I'm right about the way I was then, well, I'd have used that for all it was worth. I still don't know if I would have convinced her, but I might have. Something I never had as it was, anyway. But now, looking back, I'm kind of glad. Would you really want that as a basis, I mean, if she wouldn't leave just for me, why be happy she'd do it because we were having a child? When you're young you kind of want to be more important, that way, than anything else."

"Oh, I understand that. But now you've got a little idea what you might do for your child."

"I understand what she did for Peter, in my head. Then again, why was Peter more important than Alexander? But back then it wasn't as clear as it is now."

"Even if not, she gets torn in two that way."

"Yeah. I haven't been understanding enough. I'm not torn in two."

"Well, that being torn in two had nothing to do with you and Cam. Just the kids. As to you and Cam there couldn't have been a conflict at all. I'm a woman. I know."

"I was in California a while before I gave up the idea she was going to show up."

"If she had, she'd have been pregnant, and you might not have liked that, because back then, wouldn't you have thought it might be Cam's?"

"That would have been OK. Don't forget good old Peter. She could have showed up pregnant with her two year old to boot. That would have been OK, too."

"I can understand how that would have been frustrating. Donna had an awful marriage, so how could you understand her staying with it?"

"It sure was a mockery of a marriage."

"You make a mockery of it," said a voice. 

Brenda felt like she was being torn out of her skin for a second. She saw Cameron, then just started to laugh. David saw Cam and smiled ironically.

"How much of this have you eavesdropped on, Cam?" David asked him.

"You really think I'm going to tell you? You get more and more delusional."

"Sit down, and tell me how delusional I am."

Cam actually took up this invitation. Brenda was fascinated. Cameron gave her a brief look of contempt, then turned to David. "You make a mockery of the entire institution, don't you? You marry and divorce. Marry and divorce. Marry and divorce. Get involved with another man's wife and see nothing wrong with it. So what is it to you whether it's bad or good? How can you even bother to evaluate any marriage with those labels? How can my ex-wife do it either? She made a mockery of her own marriage."

"She didn't make a mockery of it. She wouldn't leave you. She let you make it deadly serious. Or her belief about the legal system. She put your precious Peter above her own desires, therefore, you should consider her a heroine and talk about her on much higher terms than you do."

"How do you know she didn't take it seriously herself?"

"I could say you don't take it seriously, since all you care about is the legal tie. Once made, you could care less what happens afterward. In fact, you think you don't have to do anything, make any effort at all. You can be a bastard and she has to put up with it because it's too late, she's your wife."

"Obviously it was not, since she left anyway."

"Finally."

"And that you think that a good thing proves my point."

"In that case, it was a good thing. For her. Why did you even want her to stay? You can't have been happy either. Or were you? As long as people are in their place, you don't care?"

"You have to make that commitment some time. Otherwise, there's no point. If you've been married 20 years, but you're still thinking about it, evaluating whether it's worth pursuing, you may as well have been only living together that whole time. You make a mockery of it, it means nothing, you may as well move in together until such time as one of you no longer wants to do it. Why make commitments you don't intend?"

"You have a point, but even then, there are extreme cases."

"And this was one."

"You can't possibly claim you were happy."

"How happy do you have to be? Do you have to be happy all the time? Don't answer that. I know what your answer is. As soon as you're not happy, you bail out, that's obvious, or you wouldn't be keeping the divorce lawyers in business. You'd have done the same to her, eventually."

"Even if that were true, then I'd still have my son."

"Who would be so much better off after living through two divorces. As it was, it was way more stable."

"That alone is not a value encompassing everything either. He had a stable long term experience as a shadow and foil of an older brother with a father who never said anything good about him and a mother more and more depressed. The unstable two divorces might have happened, but his brother would not be the fulcrum of his existence and he'd have some positive feedback about himself, by somebody who cared that he existed apart from his brother."

"This is so very fascinating," Cameron said. "But you have no idea what you're talking about, so it's only academically interesting."

"I know what I'm talking about," Brenda declared. "That Zander goes out of his way to be as unlike you as possible, which guarantees he'll be a wonderful father. Oh, and that makes him a wonderful man, too."

"Well, I've got to get going," Cameron said, getting up. "But thanks for the sociological insights."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr," Brenda said. "That man!"

"He went on criticizing David for being divorced so many times," Brenda said to Zander when they were through with studying for the evening. "That fact. It _is_ interesting. Do you suppose maybe that means something about his not getting over Donna?"

"I went out into the living room and they were playing with Ginny. It was a good feeling. I just felt good about it. I don't really understand it, either. I like my parents together? Maybe most people do."

"I've heard that," Brenda said. "No matter how old you get, when your parents got a divorce, that you still deep down wish they would get back together."

"But I don't, and I'm fairly sure Pete doesn't."

"Maybe it only applies when there was a time the family was happy."

"Yeah, and you want that back. That would explain it. But I don't have anything like that when it comes to my biological parents."

"I think you just see something that looks like it works. It's more like you. You want Donna to be happy. By now you even want David to be happy. This is about that rather than you."

He stroked her hair a little. "You're always saying nice things about me."

"That's easy," she said. "You can help them, too. You're their son. You get them in the same place. I think the more time they have together the more time they have to get past that they blame each other that it never worked out back then."

"You think that's it?"

"I've asked them questions here and there. It's easier for me than it would be for you. In general, or the sum of it – they both think the other was the problem while at the same time having gotten older and more mature or whatever – think they might have been the one to blame, or start to get that they are part to blame. I get this repeated theme of that 'we were too young to handle this,' or something along those lines. They got caught up over their heads."

"Dad."

"No. You know, they're both remarkable for not blaming him specifically."

"Do you think they've got another chance? It's been so long."

"It has. But yeah, I think, maybe, they do."

Cameron took his lawyer out to dinner. It was always good to do things like that.

Lee Baldwin was there at the Port Charles Grill. On his way out, he stopped to say hello to Jackie.

"Don't date a top flight domestic relations lawyer like this too long," he said to Cameron, jokingly. "She'll take you for all you're worth."

"She knows how," Cameron said, smiling.

"Well, you don't have to worry," Jackie said, joining in, "I'm in my forties and I've never been married. Isn't it proven that the odds I'll ever get married are extremely low? So you can date me all you want with no danger."

"Somehow that doesn't sound right," Cameron said, and his voice actually had a kind tone in it.

"You get cynical from doing that kind of law," Lee said. "Well, enjoy. Have a good night."

"You too," they said.


	62. Chapter 62

**Part 62**

"Why are you so good at these video games?" Zander asked David. "I don't believe you've never played them before."

Brenda smiled from her seat across the room. Zander and David had been looking at both their childhood photos, and now were fooling around with the Nintendo game. Brenda could see Zander liked hanging around like that.

"It must be from doing heart surgery by camera," David said.

"Is it really similar?"

"In a way."

"See how Ginny looks like you too," David had said, when they had been looking at the photos.

"The new one will be smart enough to look like his or her mother," Zander had said.

"Oh, I don't know," Brenda said, "It'll do fine looking like daddy."

"As long as the brains come from mom," Zander said.

"And not from Grandma Barrett," added Brenda. "Or Grandma Bennett. Either grandfather would be best. I guess my father was smart."

Now there was a knock at the door. Brenda went to get it. "You're so good about stopping by downstairs and getting them to give you the little angel!" Brenda said. "Look, it's Donna, she's got Ginny again."

"Bobbie and Carly just said bring her up for a little while, if anyone's home," Donna explained.

"Were you there long?" Zander asked.

"A little while. Heard the hospital gossip from Bobbie. Then I thought you might have gotten home."

"What's the hospital gossip?" Brenda asked, prepared to be amused.

"It's David," Donna answered, grinning perceptibly. "And his affair with Dr. Monica Quartermaine."

David just started laughing.

"She's done that so many times before," Donna explained. "Mostly younger men, you know, interns. But I'm afraid that you and she working together on this one case has proven it to be you, this time."

"I know she got sued once," Zander said. "But that was before I knew her. I only remember Emily talking about it."

"She has been involved in stuff like that more than once," Brenda said. "I wouldn't bore you with the details. I remember the one who sued her."

"She's a good looking woman," Zander said. "Smart, too."

"Maybe I better keep an eye on her instead of Emily!" Brenda exclaimed. But her eyes lit up with amusement.

"Maybe you better!" Zander said. "Here, I'll change Ginny," he said, taking her. "So I can go in the other room and also call Monica. Sorry, David. She's mine."

"Is that to keep you on your feet, to get you jealous?" Donna kidded Brenda.

"No," Brenda said, love-filled eyes following him out, "No, it's so I believe age doesn't diminish attractiveness. He figures the older woman needs to hear that."

Donna smiled. "He's sweet."

"Yeah," Brenda agreed. "He was such a doll, raving on about how Anna Devane is so sexy, too. Remember that, David?"

"Yes, I do."

"He's after all of your women, David!" Donna went on with the joke. "First Anna, now Monica."

"Zander takes the older ones, Cam takes the younger," Brenda said. "We have this theory only a really young woman can be fool enough."

"Young and not so smart," Donna said. "Most definitely not very smart."

"For sure," David said.

Donna took a couch pillow and threw it at him.

Brenda laughed, took another one, and threw it at him for good measure.

The next afternoon at the hospital, emergency room personnel were scurrying around Alan and Monica Quartermaine, as they stood near a stretcher.

It was Edward Quartermaine, having a heart attack.

Monica was upset. She didn't think she could handle it.

"He'd expect the best and you can do it, Monica," her husband said.

"No," she said. "I shouldn't. I'm emotionally involved."

"I don't know. You know he's just going to yell at you later for having some staff surgeon on his case."

"If he survives."

"He will. He's too stubborn."

"Hey," she stopped an intern, who was about to run off on an errand. "Dr. Hayward's here; go and find him."

"Yes, Doctor," the intern said.

"Perfect solution," Monica said. "Lucky for Edward."

Emily stood with her family outside Cardiac Surgery. She saw the doctor in scrubs, and he looked familiar. Her mother wasn't going to operate on her grandfather.

For some reason, Brenda Barrett was there at the hospital. Emily saw her go and talk to the cardiac surgeon. They walked by Emily. "Yes, in fact," he was saying to Brenda, "Can you tell Zander for me? I'm meeting him five minutes ago."

"Sure," Brenda was saying.

Emily recognized him. He was the relative she'd seen before, with Dr. Lewis.

"Is that Dr. Hayward?" she asked Monica.

"Yes, why?"

"He's a relative of Zander's."

"I know it."

"I've seen Dr. Lewis around. Every once a while. He's nice to me. He asks me how I am and asks me if Zander has done anything to bother me. Though he says Alexander. But sometimes he hints like he's making sure this doctor Hayward doesn't hurt me, either. He just asks if I've seen Zander's other relatives. Maybe you should find him and ask him about him. Are you sure he should operate on Grandfather?"

"If Dr. Lewis doesn't trust Dr. Hayward," Monica said. "It's not for a medical reason. But for heaven's sake, Emily, if you're going to figure it out, don't talk about it. I don't think they want anyone to know."

Emily didn't quite understand. But her mother had always been evasive about Zander when it came to medical facts.

Emily went to college at PCU. She saw Zander and Brenda there sometimes, either in the library or walking on campus. Zander had not ended up in any of Emily's classes.

She dated here and there. She knew for herself and from talking to Ned that Brenda would surely leave Zander someday. She knew in her heart that Zander still loved her. But there seemed nothing she could do but wait out Brenda Barrett. Zander was stubborn, and still mad at her for breaking up with him. She didn't think it was at all reasonable of him. But he could be unreasonable sometimes.

Brenda found Zander, who was in the park with Ginny. "Hey," he said. "You're back from the doctor already? Maybe you can come with us."

"Naw. You need some male bonding time."

"Oh, right. Big deal."

"Anyway, there's a hold up, though. Sit down. It's Edward Quartermaine. Had a heart attack."

"Oh," Zander said. He didn't like Edward Quartermaine, but he didn't wish a heart attack on him. "And they drafted David?"

"Yes. Monica's too close to him, and he demands the best. That's the gist of it."

"It could take awhile," he said. "I know from Dad. Are you worried? I know you've been close to them."

"Really more worried about Lila than anybody else. She must be stuck home."

"I wonder if she even knows."

"That's a good point. I better find out before I go over there."

"I'll go back to the hospital with you."

Lila Quartermaine was already at the hospital. She'd been brought up and wheeled in.

She was a true aristocrat. Trying to keep a stiff upper lip, and saying he would recover. Brenda sat down by her and held her hand.

Zander watched. There was Ned and Alan and Monica, Emily and AJ, and Jason Morgan. Nobody he didn't want to avoid; except maybe Monica.

He had an excuse not to sit with them; he paced the halls with Ginny, or played with her, at a distance.

"Don't you sit here with me too long," Lila said to Brenda. "You have to get your rest. Take care of yourself and your little one."

"What little one?" Emily said to Ned, having overheard. She got up and went a few feet over to where Ned was, and spoke softly enough to keep it between herself and Ned.

"Brenda's pregnant," Ned said. "Hard to believe, I know. I never thought she'd go this far."

"Zander?" Emily asked, with a look of unbelief.

"Believe it or not," Ned said. "What do you women see in him anyway? Carly's one thing. She's a dope. Brenda, I don't understand at all."

"It's just crazy," Emily agreed. She wished she hadn't learned this when she was already stressed out over her grandfather.


End file.
